Am I Being Selfish?

[Curvy_Chicken]

At the weekend both myself and my boyfriend started the GI diet.

My boyfriend in the entire 2 years we have been together has been wonderful about my weight. He's got me playing squash, he's supportive and he tries very hard to make me believe that I will one day be slim.

In all honestly I can say that since he started the GI diet with me he's been rubbish at it! He's eaten banned food - "just to get rid of it" and every evening after dinner he whines about how much he wants chocolate and was asking me to give him the cooking chocolate I have stuffed at the back of my cupboard!!!

Yesterday I said to him look if you want chocolate can you just go out, eat it (away from me) and not tell me about it, because everytime he mentions chocolate it makes me want it too! It's bloody crazy! I'm really missing a lot of food I can't deal with him reminding me of what I'm missing.

I now feel that was incredibly selfish thing to say considering how lovely and supportive he has been to me. But I just get the impression that this diet doesn't mean as much to him as it does to me (he could do with losing a stone and a bit)...

Was I selfish about it? I really need to do this diet and I haven't cheated once - except for a bit of beetroot - but I didn't know it was a med GI food! But I feel so guilty now about how I've treated him...

 

[Russiandoll]

You're not being selfish CC ... you're just feeling like your motivation is being sabotaged.

If your bf only needs to lose a stone, then maybe he doesn't have the same level of motivation as you: it simply doesn't mean as much.

Perhaps the GI diet isn't for him ... maybe he'd do better on plain old calorie counting - then he could have the darned chocolate as an occasional treat (away from you of course) provided it was within his cal allowance.

Not all diet plans suit all people - if he felt less resentful then maybe he'd be a bit more enthusiastic.

 

[Diva]

Hiya Curvy

First of all remember that you and your boyfriend have very different reasons for wanting to lose weight. For you, its about no longer being happy with how you are and wanting to make a long term change. However, I get the impression that for your boyfriend its more about him supporting you rather than his desire to lose a stone - which, in the grand scheme of things is not alot of weight.

I don't think that you're being selfish, however, I do think that you are using the wrong approach! Instead of viewing him as your dieting buddy, ask him to continue to support you but in a more emotional way so that when the tough times kick in, he's there for you to lean on. He can take your progress pics and measurements, etc....this way he can get to enjoy whatever he wants to eat and you still have the support that you need.

Remember Curvy that your weight loss is never, ever going to be as important to anybody else as it is to you! So you owe it to yourself to give it your best shot with or without him being on the diet.

Who knows he may become so inspired with your success that he joins you after all!!!

Good luck, hun!

 

[Curvy_Chicken]

I probably should talk to him! Thanks Russian Doll.

xxx

BTW - I see on your profile that you are about to do an english degree at chichester soon. I did my english degree there and it was a wonderful experience - I loved every minute of it. The creative writing and literature lecturers are wonderful - you are in for a treat. Jealous - I wanna go back!

 

[Curvy_Chicken]

Thanks for that Diva - bless him he has created an amazing spreadsheet for me to record my (hopeful!) weightloss and my measurements. I shall thank him for that support and tell him he doesn't have to follow the diet - if isn't for him.

Thanks sweetie xx

 

[DQ]

He can take your progress pics and measurements, etc....this way he can get to enjoy whatever he wants to eat and you still have the support that you need.

I spent a lot of time talking to my DH last week on holiday along these lines, and it really seems to have gone in that he can help me!

Remember Curvy that your weight loss is never, ever going to be as important to anybody else as it is to you!

I learnt this the hard way over the past two years - now I am doing this for me, my way!

 

[Ivy]

Men tend to be more successful at dieting than women. I bet a slice of chocolate to him would be just that...whereas if you are anything like me, a full on binge would insue.

Nope you aint selfish whatsoever...just self-perserving.

Ivy

 

[Isis]

Amen to that Ivy...