and what do you want? really really want?

AliGal

AliGal

Eating meat
I've loved the kick up the bum thread on here. http://www.minimins.com/very-low-calorie-diets/270341-what-your-kick-up-bum.html
So this is the towards thread.

What things are you looking forward to when you are at goal, and maintaining effortlessly and easily?

Here are some of mine - a few are already happening and most will be reality by this summer


Feeling the appreciation of my husband and the look in his eye
I am looking forward to dancing all night in high heels and not feeling the pain of weight.
Riding horses again
Fitting with ease in the plan seat and getting the tray down with space to spare
Enjoying shopping in any shop I choose
Being cool and happy in the summer heat
Fitting in the bus and tube seats
Seeing the look on the faces of my old colleagues when they see me
Enjoying appreciative looks from men
Going to a water park and going down all the slides gracefully!
Enjoying cycling along the country lanes and hills
Swimming in the sea and feeling great when I walk out back to my towel
Choosing healthy things to eat and do
 
To be able to fit into any seats... Without having to think about it

To walk into a room of people and not feel judged

To be able to wear dresses of any style

To be able to walk into any shop and be able to fit their clothes (this is nearly possible)

To not have swollen summer cankles.

To be able to have sex in ANY position ... Ok tmi but hey ho lol

To be able to wear shorts on holiday

To be able to order food at a restaurant and not feel like a bloater like the staff are looking at me thinking maybe you should be ordering salad.

To be able to tell people my real weight & size and not lie haha xxxx
 
I really, really want to:

Ride my beautiful ginger horse again, looking like this photo
Ride my silly black horse again, looking like this photo
Ride other people's horses
Own a grown up wardrobe of trouser suits & blouses from nice shops
See my exs' jaws drop when I bump in to them next (I still see a few of them)
Go hiking up in the mountains, and look fit in the photos
Get to a high level on a bleep test next February
Look hot in my work uniform(!)
Look great in my swimsuit when on holiday in October
Be comfortable in almost any type of clothing
Get my hair cut properly short and carry off the look
Get the other half of my horse tattoo added, and my random one extended over my shoulder and down my back
Grow my own veg for cheap, healthy maintenance food
Blend in to any group photo
 
to have tight fitting brown leather trousers and look and feel great in them
 
To not have people judge me because of my size.
 
Be able to say "no thank you" to food when I'm full.
Be able to eat only half of what I eat now and be full.
Wear anything and look good in it.
Turn heads where I go like I once was able to.
Have sex again like I was young and free without body hang-ups.
Wear a bikini on the beach without a second thought.
Look good in any photo at any angle.
Chuck away all my size 18 clothes and fill my wardrobes with size 12 again.
Laugh because I'm happy again.
 
TIGGERTOES said:
Be able to say "no thank you" to food when I'm full.
Be able to eat only half of what I eat now and be full.
Click to expand...

that will do for me. if I can conquer my appetite, the war will be won. Each stone is a great little battle, but the war is always with my appetite.

I can do anything I like now, I just dont want the remaining 4st of my 6st target-loss in the way! lol
 
evil weevil said:
I really, really want to:

Ride my beautiful ginger horse again, looking like this photo
Ride my silly black horse again, looking like this photo
Ride other people's horses
Own a grown up wardrobe of trouser suits & blouses from nice shops
See my exs' jaws drop when I bump in to them next (I still see a few of them)
Go hiking up in the mountains, and look fit in the photos
Get to a high level on a bleep test next February
Look hot in my work uniform(!)
Look great in my swimsuit when on holiday in October
Be comfortable in almost any type of clothing
Get my hair cut properly short and carry off the look
Get the other half of my horse tattoo added, and my random one extended over my shoulder and down my back
Grow my own veg for cheap, healthy maintenance food
Blend in to any group photo
Click to expand...

Sounds good! Altho I can't view the horse pics!!
 
To make love to my husband without inhibitions.
To run around and play football with my little boys.
To be able to go out dancing with my little sister and not feel ashamed.
To wear the gorgeous clothes I have packed away in my loft.
To wake up refreshed and have enough energy to deal with the day ahead.
To go back to salsa dancing, to Tae Kwan Do, and to scuba diving without having to have a rest every 5 minutes.
To wear a bikini again.
To feel strong and confident.
To feel like me again.
 
To be able to ware the clothes that have been at the bottom of the wardrobe since i fell pregnant with my dd (whos now 9) i will fit into them! and to be able to take the kids swimming with out feeling like a beached whale lol
 
Conquering my food demons & eating to live rather than living to eat. This will be my hardest battle, until I've mastered it i know my appetite & total lack of self control will always hold me back from being the person I really want to be.
 
Thanks for posting, Lovely Flump.

I thought it was impossible when I started - but I put one foot in front of the other on my chosen diet and am amazingly 6 stone lighter already. I really really didn't think I'd shift from 26/28 fat trousers from Anne Harvey to size 16 jeans (first in decades!) so fast. Or even that I actually could shift the weight. Or that I could sustain my application to a vlcd. I have to choose to do it - and often to make that choice again and again in the face of social events, the desire for a drink or a taste of something delicious my husband was eating, or a taste of something I was cooking. I don't take it for granted - but I do know that shifting a shed-load of weight is making me feel very optimistic that I can get to target and stay there.

Now, Flump, I have a 'Rod the Bass tough love' idea for you. In fact, I have two tough love ideas for you:

First language matters:

By describing our weight stuff as a battle, it defines an anxious hard war, and mastery in this context implies masters and servants, winners and losers...and if you are like me, that presses some buttons which remind me of past failures.

So Eradicate those thoughts - like battles and mastery and 'always'. Literally, if they come into your mind, imagine a big rubber erasing them from your mind. Replace them with helpful concepts. This is not to eradicate that we have big tasks to do - and need to learn different ways of eating and living. So maybe you can find some different language. For example I think of it as a journey, a journey of discovery as my real body emerges and I learn what's necessary to stay at goal. I think about being skilled in nutrition and managing the balance of my body. And I have created over the past 6 months the firm belief that I will have the decision making (I don't call it self control) and information to be and remain slim. Btw, I didn't believe this when I started. But as a very special man called Z, who has shed 15 stone in the past 9 months, says 'believe and achieve' - so I acted as if I believed.And I achieved far more than I thought possible. "Acting as if" something is true is a great strategy and helps reduce self doubt. The more you do it, the easier it is, and the more it becomes true.

So I wish for you, Flump, the ability to see your world differently so that can support you. It's something that is an on-going process because like our eating, our thoughts revert to familiarity even if we don't really like that old familiar. So watch your language and create positive ways (and words) to describe the changes you are making. Start now ...it has cumulative benefits.

Second - live the life you want now!

Thanks to an lovely American called Sandy Grason, I learnt, at an unresourceful time in my life, not to wait to live the life I want.

She suggested I write a description of my perfect day. Then we looked at it to see what I could do now, rather than wait until my life was perfect. I was amazed that there were lots of things I was tolerating or accepting. So I decided to use beautiful things I had, and to get rid of things I didn't care for. For example, I took a beautiful mug to work and used it. I also took a lovely jug and used it for my water. The jug was broken by our cleaner. Although it was precious to me, I wasn't cross - as I had used it much more in the previous 18 months than I had in the previous 8 years! And just seeing it on my desk had been a pleasure. I cleared out some beastly underwear and made sure my undergarments were always nice. I didn't need to be slim to have nice underwear.

It's funny - as I write this, I realise I've unconsciously applied this to my clothing during Alizonne. I decided early on to get rid of clown clothes and have clothing that fits. I've shopped at ASDA for jeans (something lovely about having the next size down and getting into it) and charity shops - and a fab maxi dress for a wedding a couple of weekends ago, which will also take me to a black tie dinner in a months time. Circa 4 stone down, I needed new bras - I had a proper bra fitting and then bought a few more at ASDA (£3 each for lovely colours) so don't have to wash them every day. I'm not slim yet - but I sure as hell feel good in my clothes and that makes me feel good about myself.

So I challenge you to get a sheet of paper and a timer. Set it to 10 minutes and get ready steady go! Write - write everything about the person you really want to be and what your perfect life is. Write in first person current tense. It doesn't have to make sense. It can be magical, fabulous and mundane as well. Mine included a nice knicker drawer! Just start and keep going. It doesn't matter if you repeat yourself. What are you doing, what are you wearing, what does your home look like, who do you hang out with, what do people say to you, what do you say to them, do you exercise, what do you eat, how do you feel, etc etc. And remember to list the things you do for fun.

Then, when 10 minutes is up, finish your writing. Look at what you've written and see what you can start to be now. What things can you start tomorrow? Do some need a little more planning?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to pick one thing a week, and do it. You can do the same thing for your perfect day.

Work for me became a little more bearable as I had my nice mug and water jug. I've just remembered I also started walking tall - walking like a slim woman, holding my head high, my shoulders relaxed and tummy in!

Sandy says it's doing these small (and sometimes, big) things with intention, that makes them so powerful. She also started me noticing what I am grateful for. Even in the dark days of a very dark period in my life, I found things to be grateful for and moements that I declared a perfect moment. I'm glad I did as many were related to my dogs, both of whom have died early. So I have happy positive memories - of things I found fun and intentionally did with them such as blowing bubbles for them to chase. A lovely memory.

So Flump: start living your life now - do just one thing a week living the way you want to be. And start this weekend!

Goodness - thank you, Flump, I've loved remembering this and will go and do my own current writing.

Have a lovely weekend,
 
aligal I'm going to try this 10 minute writing :)
 
Eating normally and not binging :)
 
To never have to wear jogging bottoms again!
To get in to a dress and feel sexy
To enjoy the summer months without covering up
To leave my house happy -not feeling ashamed of my weight
To go shopping for clothes knowing I'll look good, rather than buying clothes to hide in.
To feel comfortable in my skin
 
Fitting into my very skinny jeans
Feel sexy when I walk out my front door
Have confidence to meet someone who'll like me for me - have gotten a little withdrawn as I put on weight...
Ah the plane seat, to not have to squeeze into them...
Not feel my inner thighs rubbing against each other to the point it gets painful
To wear again the wonderful clothes I have already
To buy clothes in a size 10/12
To do sports without feel conscious of my big bum wobbling always finding a place in the back
 
aligal I really like your post its so positive honest and true, how many of us stop ourselves from going forward and fulfilling things we really want to do because of our weight, me for one. I'm going to take time out and write the 10min list. thank you for the inspiration and well done on your success.
leaih
 
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