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anyone else feel down?

#1
Well I am not supposed to be sitting here typing a message on minimins, all week it was known that I was going out tonight with friends down the local. We were meeting at 7 so at six I trundled upstairs to get ready. I opened the wardrobe and my heart just dropped. I gate my body my clothes don't fit and as a result I am say here on my own after lying to my boyfriend saying I don't want to go out and instead sent him out on his own. I feel people look at me as fatty, look at the state of her and watching what I eat I hope to be normal one day but until then do I need to sit in on Saturday night cause I am too fat for public? I know I am not a mountain I am about a size 18 but I just feel so depressed if I know we need to go out. Family events are my worst fear, when you are people you haven't in a while. I obsess for weeks about what to where and try to remember if I was fatter or thinner the last time they seen me. I insist in squeezing myself into one of those bodyshaper things even if I am only wearing my jeans. How can I get away from this??? Please help me love myself a bit more? I want to go out and buy something new tomorrow so I know I will have something to wear next weekend but I know shopping will make me even worse. Won't find anything nice to fit will be in the changing room getting hot and stuffy and it will end up me buying nothing and coming home in tears. Where can I go from here? I am trying to lose weight but feel like I have been on a diet for the last 7 years. I need it to work this time, its been hanging over me too long. Any advice?
Thanks
Clare x
 
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x Nee x

Gold Member
S: 20st10lb C: 20st5lb G: 8st0lb BMI: 50.5 Loss: 0st5lb(1.72%)
#2
Hello Clare,

I have been feeling very the same recently, dont want to go out, dont even want to go to work, socialising with friends kills me with there size '0's and then there is me that sticks out like a sore thumb :(

But your on this site for a reason, like me, we want to lose weight so thats a big positive.

With regards going shopping, check out this website

Plus Size Womens Clothing | Plus Size Ladies Fashion | 16 – 32 sizes

They are fashionable, cheap and can order online so you can try things on in the comfort of your own home

N x
 
S: 16st2lb C: 13st11lb G: 12st10lb BMI: 29.3 Loss: 2st5lb(14.6%)
#3
Hugs hun!

Have you ever thought of going to a personal stylist? I went to one and it's made the most massive difference. A lot of people have noticed the change as well. I just feel beautiful and confident even though I'm not a size 12. And I catch a lot of people looking at me now and treating me with more respect and being nicer.

Sometimes I think a little thing like that can help you to really blossom. Then you'll learn to love your figure. I actually look at skinny girls now and think most of em need to gain a stone or so; before I just thought I should be more like them.

You only get one body and one life hun, it really does waste energy to hate it. Either use that energy to do something about it to change it (like finding the right diet and sticking to it/committing to recommit to it when you do fall off it. It is possible.), or start to appreciate the good points about who you are and what you bring to this world.

I don't mean this to sound harsh hun. But I guess what I'm saying is look at it with logic. This is the way it is now - you're size 18 and you hate it. Options are to change it and if you want to be slim enough you'll persevere and not get discouraged at any slip ups. Or accept it.
 

soozsb

Xmas goal, here I come!
S: 16st0lb C: 14st8lb G: 12st6lb BMI: 38.5 Loss: 1st6lb(8.93%)
#4
Boy, you sound like I often do, lol.
Think about the positives.
You have a loving boyfriend, he wouldn't be with you if your weight bothered him as much as it bother you.
You have friends - proof- you were going out to meet them, I doubt they care about your weight half as much as you do.
WE ARE OUR WORST CRITICS AND OUR WORST OWN ENEMIES! Ease up on yourself - you took the first step, your on the right track, you IN IT to THIN IT! (bad pun sorry:eek:) Try shopping at a second hand / consignment shop , sometimes they have really nice stuff for very cheap. and when its too big for you, which it soon will be, you can take it back and resell it.:)
We all have our bad days, but don't let it stop you from doing fun things, spending time with friends, etc. Remember there are others much worse off then us, some people don't even have friends or a boyfriend to spend time with. So don't avoid them, they can probably bring your spirits up and be there for you. I hope this helps you.:)
 

CrazyBrit

Silver Member
S: 21st6lb C: 21st6lb G: 14st4lb BMI: 41.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#5
Go to your GP and request counselling for depression. Also, if you can get it, assertiveness training. Both help tremendously :)
 
S: 17st4lb C: 14st11lb G: 11st0lb Loss: 2st7lb(14.46%)
#6
och - don't i just know how you feel - especially when you talk about seeing family that you hadn't seen in a while.

You know what - I was hiding out and MISSING out. I realised that I was loved by my family & friends and that I was the one missing out on so much fun on my hide out days.

I have taken the bull by the horns and faced my demons. I have recognised my strong features and I highlight them every day. I make the effort every single day to look good - makes me feel so much better about myself. Something as simple as a manicure or pedicure....

Don't be hard on yourself. Set yourself some goals and you know what, if your tummy is smiling at you in the mirror, smile back at it. It's part of you and you need to learn to love it. At least, it's not going to keep smiling at you if you're taking steps to get rid of it!

Dont miss out on the fun.... here today, gone tomorrow!
Let your personality shine and your body will shine too - no matter what size you are!

xx
 

x Nee x

Gold Member
S: 20st10lb C: 20st5lb G: 8st0lb BMI: 50.5 Loss: 0st5lb(1.72%)
#7
For those who are so positive, its great to see it, It makes you really think about the down days and think more like 'hat the hell'

So thanks for giving me a little smile

x
 

Jenny_b

Gold Member
S: 17st7lb C: 12st8.5lb G: 10st5lb BMI: 28.5 Loss: 4st12.5lb(27.96%)
#8
really sorry to hear youre feeling this way hun. know exactly how u feel. last yr me and hubby went away for our 1st wedding anniversary, took loads of clothes. when it got to the evening i tried on every dress id packed and none would do up, i was gutted. started crying saying im fat and ugly. it was evening so most shops were closed, found an asda, size 18 wouldnt fit me! i couldnt believe it. knew it was time to sort my weight out.
anyway 3 mths ago i was an 18 and now im a 12-14. im almost at target and feel great. so confident going out.

wish u luck getting to ur goal and feeling happier, its amazing how losing some weight can make u feel so much better. id recommend a total food replacement as the results are so quick.

good luck hun

x x
 


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