Artyjoe
Regular Member
Binge, binge, binge, binge, CD bar, binge, binge...and another 3 pounds gain! argh
I'm now 17 pounds heavier than I was when I fell off the wagon, and 17 pounds heavier than I was when I was fitted for my wedding dress - eek.
Because of the wedding dress I have absolutely no choice but to lose the 17 pounds, the rest I can deal with at a later stage, but 17 pounds HAS TO GO.
I am having my menu tasting for the wedding on Tuesday so won't start until Wednesday, but I somehow have to find the courage to step back on this diet and see it through...I'm doing a whole lot of damage with self sabotage at the moment, punishing myself for something, wish I could delve into my subconscious and find out what though. I am determined to post every day, several times a day if I have to, to try and get myself through this. Sometimes I find just typing a paragraph is enough to make me think twice about eating something I shouldn't. Work is manic (which may work in my favour as it should keep me busy during the day) but I'm going to have to find the time to post as I'm sure it helps me.
I started writing a book 3 years ago about three fat single women (a comedy obviously!) and I may just revisit it if I get stuck on the diet, might help to remember how bad it can be...I have lost 7.5 stones so I'm qualified! I stopped writing when I gave up cigarettes as my routine was to have a huge pot of coffee and 40 fags set up before starting...was too scared to try to write again until I 'knew' I was a non smoker, then I gave birth and haven't slept since! Who knows I may actually dust off the cross trainer I bought a few weeks ago and actually go on it...although my foot is causing me pain at the moment so I do have a genuine reason to avoid it (but that's only been for a few days!). I'm going to a healer in two weeks time so I'll see if they can sort out my foot...believe it or not I'm going to the healer to see if they can 'rebalance' me so I don't continue to scoff...every little helps
Today was the first time I couldn't get into a pair of trousers that I've bought since losing the weight, so really I have to get a grip from tomorrow in preparation for Tuesday...my clothes are decidedly tight, but I've been able to wear them all, until today...not enough to stop me scoffing two cakes today (groan) but it was extenuating circumstances as mum was with me shopping and it was either scoff my face or bite her head off
I am off to watch Desperate Housewives (which is just what I feel like at the moment as hubby to be is playing a gig today so I've been on my own all day)...all my friends are out so I feel like Johnny no Mates...they don't seem to be hiding in the fridge though no matter how many times I go looking....mmmm.
I'm now 17 pounds heavier than I was when I fell off the wagon, and 17 pounds heavier than I was when I was fitted for my wedding dress - eek.
Because of the wedding dress I have absolutely no choice but to lose the 17 pounds, the rest I can deal with at a later stage, but 17 pounds HAS TO GO.
I am having my menu tasting for the wedding on Tuesday so won't start until Wednesday, but I somehow have to find the courage to step back on this diet and see it through...I'm doing a whole lot of damage with self sabotage at the moment, punishing myself for something, wish I could delve into my subconscious and find out what though. I am determined to post every day, several times a day if I have to, to try and get myself through this. Sometimes I find just typing a paragraph is enough to make me think twice about eating something I shouldn't. Work is manic (which may work in my favour as it should keep me busy during the day) but I'm going to have to find the time to post as I'm sure it helps me.
I started writing a book 3 years ago about three fat single women (a comedy obviously!) and I may just revisit it if I get stuck on the diet, might help to remember how bad it can be...I have lost 7.5 stones so I'm qualified! I stopped writing when I gave up cigarettes as my routine was to have a huge pot of coffee and 40 fags set up before starting...was too scared to try to write again until I 'knew' I was a non smoker, then I gave birth and haven't slept since! Who knows I may actually dust off the cross trainer I bought a few weeks ago and actually go on it...although my foot is causing me pain at the moment so I do have a genuine reason to avoid it (but that's only been for a few days!). I'm going to a healer in two weeks time so I'll see if they can sort out my foot...believe it or not I'm going to the healer to see if they can 'rebalance' me so I don't continue to scoff...every little helps
Today was the first time I couldn't get into a pair of trousers that I've bought since losing the weight, so really I have to get a grip from tomorrow in preparation for Tuesday...my clothes are decidedly tight, but I've been able to wear them all, until today...not enough to stop me scoffing two cakes today (groan) but it was extenuating circumstances as mum was with me shopping and it was either scoff my face or bite her head off
I am off to watch Desperate Housewives (which is just what I feel like at the moment as hubby to be is playing a gig today so I've been on my own all day)...all my friends are out so I feel like Johnny no Mates...they don't seem to be hiding in the fridge though no matter how many times I go looking....mmmm.
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