ArtyJoe: Given Up on CD

Discussion in 'Weight Loss Diaries' started by Artyjoe, 29 July 2006 Social URL.

  1. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    Binge, binge, binge, binge, CD bar, binge, binge...and another 3 pounds gain! argh :mad: :mad: :mad:

    I'm now 17 pounds heavier than I was when I fell off the wagon, and 17 pounds heavier than I was when I was fitted for my wedding dress - eek.

    Because of the wedding dress I have absolutely no choice but to lose the 17 pounds, the rest I can deal with at a later stage, but 17 pounds HAS TO GO.

    I am having my menu tasting for the wedding on Tuesday so won't start until Wednesday, but I somehow have to find the courage to step back on this diet and see it through...I'm doing a whole lot of damage with self sabotage at the moment, punishing myself for something, wish I could delve into my subconscious and find out what though. I am determined to post every day, several times a day if I have to, to try and get myself through this. Sometimes I find just typing a paragraph is enough to make me think twice about eating something I shouldn't. Work is manic (which may work in my favour as it should keep me busy during the day) but I'm going to have to find the time to post as I'm sure it helps me.

    I started writing a book 3 years ago about three fat single women (a comedy obviously!) and I may just revisit it if I get stuck on the diet, might help to remember how bad it can be...I have lost 7.5 stones so I'm qualified! I stopped writing when I gave up cigarettes as my routine was to have a huge pot of coffee and 40 fags set up before starting...was too scared to try to write again until I 'knew' I was a non smoker, then I gave birth and haven't slept since! Who knows I may actually dust off the cross trainer I bought a few weeks ago and actually go on it...although my foot is causing me pain at the moment so I do have a genuine reason to avoid it (but that's only been for a few days!). I'm going to a healer in two weeks time so I'll see if they can sort out my foot...believe it or not I'm going to the healer to see if they can 'rebalance' me so I don't continue to scoff...every little helps :eek:

    Today was the first time I couldn't get into a pair of trousers that I've bought since losing the weight, so really I have to get a grip from tomorrow in preparation for Tuesday...my clothes are decidedly tight, but I've been able to wear them all, until today...not enough to stop me scoffing two cakes today (groan) but it was extenuating circumstances as mum was with me shopping and it was either scoff my face or bite her head off :D

    I am off to watch Desperate Housewives (which is just what I feel like at the moment as hubby to be is playing a gig today so I've been on my own all day)...all my friends are out so I feel like Johnny no Mates...they don't seem to be hiding in the fridge though no matter how many times I go looking....mmmm.
     
    Last edited: 8 August 2006
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  3. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    Hun - my heart goes out to you - I can hear the desperation that you're feeling.

    I would suggest the following: -

    busy yourself with wedding arrangements and go back to writing your book in between coming on here! (Why not write some stuff in the creative writing section on here??)

    Don't take on too much tho as, if you're anything like me, you'll end up doing nothing lol.

    Can you try your dress on every day? That might motivate you into not falling off the wagon? Or failing that, cut a bit of string the exact length of the waist measurement of your dress and use that as a guideline.

    You can do this - it's important to you! And if you have to bite people's heads off - well, isn't that the bride's perogative??? lol

    Good luck, hun
    love
     
  4. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    Thanks Isobel, the ideas you have are great but unfortunately I can't follow them as I don't actually have the wedding dress and won't have it until September - eek. I was fitted for it 17 pounds ago but it won't actually be here until then, which is why I'm panicking as the wedding is in October! I'll have a look at the creative writing area and see what that's about. I've been reading some threads here tonight, particularly the WEMIT group and it's made me think maybe I should get a shrink to sort me out :)
     
  5. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    You've still got tons of time, babes - you could try the string thing til September???

    Keep posting! It really helps, doll!
    love
     
  6. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    This is going to make me sound like a right saddo now...but...the dressmaker never told me the size of my dress, or measurements, as she knew I was on a diet and didn't want to 'upset' me...thankfully I took her advice and didn't go for the next dress size down and she ordered the dress in the size she measured me for...all I know is it's a 'big' size (she whispered that to me!)...I was in a size 16 clothes at the time but maybe wedding dresses come up small? I'm hoping that watching my 'ticker thingie' will help...seeing such big losses next to everyone's name really is encouraging.

    I have to do this or I'll be wearing a trouser suit on my wedding day and will have a £1000 dress on a hanger in my wardrobe...THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE! I WILL do it...now all I need to do it believe that I will and I'll be half way there.

    Thanks for your help Isobel, it really is appreciated x
     
  7. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    Bless ya, hun! You can do it. You will do it.

    A grand is a grand, after all - think of the money!!!!! lol

    love and hugs
     
  8. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    Only two days now until i start CD again. I had CD for breakie and snack today but then had a cheese roll for lunch and will eat tonight, tomorrow it's TWO lots of three course meals to check my wedding menu...yum! I've decided to follow some advice that geri gave roch yesterday and that is to eat nothing but CD products, regardless of how many you actually eat, and then try to cut down on the CD until you get to 3 or 4 a day...I think this is a great idea and am hoping it will help me start on the diet easier. I know I have to change my evening habits as this is where I get bored, but for a while this can't change so allowing myself an extra pack or two may help get over this hurdle, rather than picking at food, which is where I've gone wrong on both restarts. If I haven't lost a stone by September then I'm going to paul mckennas seminar...then a shrink...and then I'll just emigrate to a distant shore where no one can see me swimming around like a whale :) If I don't lose the stone by september then I haven't a hope of reaching my target by Christmas, so I'm just hoping and praying that I'll do it.

    I'm feeling positive x
     
  9. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    Day 2

    Well, I started, and this is it, no messing around anymore.

    I'm at the end of day 2, 3 packs down, will probably have 5 by the end of the day but that's fine, my pledge has been to have only CD, and if that means I have 4 or 12, then so long as it's not food, I'm fine with that. The water has been okay, as has the hunger...I'm freezing cold though, but I'm used to this side effect, hubby to be will be complaining by tonight though me thinks!

    I have decided I'm not going to just lose the weight I have gained, I'm going to go for my target of 11.4, which is exactly another 3 stones to lose. The only blip should be my birthday but I'm going to try to book the theatre in London, maybe Footloose or Dirty Dancing, and go there instead of the usual restaurant trip...that seems a long way off though and I'm trying to look at 7 days at a time.

    I got on the scales today and they hadn't moved so I've put them on top of the wardrobe, don't need psychological games from a piece of machinery so early on :)

    I have a picnic at a farm on Saturday and I won't be in ketosis by then so I'm going equipped with a thermos of CD cappuccino and 3 bars...I'm hoping to not eat the 3 bars, but if I do, at least I won't have succumbed to the picnic...these things are sent to try us. On the other hand, I'm completely looking forward to seeing how my wonderful 18 month old daughter reacts to her first goat and sheep!:D

    My hands are icy cold so I'm off to warm them on a cup of marigold. :)
     
  10. Shrinking Nicky

    Shrinking Nicky Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    My daughter is 21 months & has a bit of a thing for goats! We go to a petting farm & she loves to cuddle them!
    On the diet note, just say to yourself every time you think about food that you could have some if you want - but you want to fit into your wedding dress more!!! Works a treat!

    Good luck - you will do it!
    Nicky
     
  11. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    Good for you, Artyjoe - it sounds like your head is in the right place, hun!!!
    Keep on truckin, sweetie!!!!
     
  12. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    Day 4

    Did the farm, had a fab time, aren't goats great?! Piglet race was cool too :)

    I managed to sit at the table while everyone ate a fab picnic (that I helped prepare) and ate a cappucino drink and two bars...felt very happy, and moreso when they were all scoffing ice creams later in the afternoon too.

    The bad news is I ended up having 3 bars (god knows what's going to happen with my stomach in the morning) and 3 packs...so in all 6 packs...not fab, but not food, and i did pledge to have CD packs, which I did, albeit more than I'd intended. I'm not going to beat myself up about it because I sooo nearly scoffed a cocktail sausage thinking well that will be far less calories than another pack...but knew it may be the slippery slope, so had more calories but stayed on CD.

    I'm not in ketosis yet, but I suppose eating 2 bars a day isn't going to help this, although am I not right in thinking the 27 or so grams of carbohydrate in the bars is practically disintegrated because of the amount that sugars and turns into polyps (I know that's the wrong name :confused: )?

    As of this mroning I'd lost 3 pounds, which isn't fab, but not rubbish either. Tomorrow will be day 5 which I'll be pleased to see...am hoping to eat only 1 bar ... mmmm...no promises on that one though :eek:
     
  13. Isobel1965

    Isobel1965 Gold Member

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    Hey - three lbs is brill, honey!!!! Only 14 to go, isn't it??? WHoohoooo!!!!!!!!
     
  14. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    Hi Isobel, only 14 to go to get back into the dress...but I've decided that I'm going to be strong and keep going and try to get to my actual target weight which I set myself when I started this diet, but that is still 'only' 2.5 stones, doesn't sound much when you've lost 7.5 but I know the last is definitely going to be the hardest. I don't want to set myself up for a fall, but I really don't want to come off the diet now until the wedding, and the goal isn't the wedding, the goal is just to get rid of all the excess baggage so I can start leading a more healthy life, one not consumed with scales.

    Got a foul mouth this morning so am assuming Ketosis may be kicking in, even though I've had the 3 bars, but I mustn't get complacent. I'm happy as I've still cooked for the family and joined in, but, so far, haven't caved in.

    Need to get drinking more though as I'm not quite managing 4 litres a day and I think in this heat that's what I should be doing. I'll be looking forward to the scales saying '13 something' hopefully early next week...once I get to 13.1 I'll be delighted with myself. Still debating whether to do Paul McKenna seminar but think it might be more beneficial after I've finished SS. My friend has been to see a hypnotist and she's feeling extremely positive so maybe I'll try him if I feel a blip coming on!

    It's another hot one today, think I'll go shopping to see what's around for when September comes :)
     
  15. chicken on a mission

    chicken on a mission Restarting to lose 4stone

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    I haven't lost as much as you have but have to agree that these last 2 1/2 stones are the most difficult :(
     
  16. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    Wow Artyjoe, you are really motoring now!! :cool:
     
  17. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I think that's a great idea, to do just CD packs.

    Have you tried the new bars as they are lower in carbs compared to the old ones?

    Sounds like you're going into ketosis already though.:cool:
     
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  19. kebab

    kebab Full Member

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    :) Well done Artyjoe! You have started losing the weight and sound more positive. You are going to be stunning in your wedding photos!:)
     
  20. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    Day 6 today, a little disheartened that I've only lost 4 pounds to date...the last two restarts I'd lost 9 and 10 pounds, so a bit peeved, but that's what you get for messing around for so long I suppose. I'm determined to only have 1 bar a day for a few days and see if I get into Ketosis, I'm not yet and I only had 1 yesterday so maybe by tomorrow.

    I am hoping to soon be able to stop having so many packs, I managed 4 yesterday, but that was because I went to bed at 7pm to avoid any more...not really wanting to do that too often! I need to cut out the 11 o'clock in the morning one, seems to be a bit of a habit.

    Any ideas of different drinks that might substitute an 11 o'clock muffin?

    I'm having the marigold twice a day and cappucino drink twice a day (i.e. I make one pack of cappucino last me a week by spooning one spoon into my coffee). Are there any that I'm missing that might help?

    Just sorted through my wedding figures and realised it's approx £3000 more than I'd originally thought - eek! Maybe that's why I felt the need for the muffin :)
     
  21. kebab

    kebab Full Member

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    Hi, 4lbs off is a good start, you're moving in the right direction!
    Do you have the water flavours? While the weather is still warm, why not mix a water flavour with water (DOH!!!) and freeze in ice lolli moulds and have this - takes for ever to finish!
     
  22. Artyjoe

    Artyjoe Regular Member

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    CD
    Thanks for that Kebab, would never have thought of ice lollies, will definitely give that a go!
     
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