Poppysparkle
Silver Member
Rachel, no words will help you or the family right now, but I'm so sad to read that news. I'm sending a virtual hug to you and her poor parents and family. Just the worst thing a parent can surely experience. xxxx
AWFUL news..
- Thread starter roundrachel
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roundrachel
Silver Member
Thank you all for your kind words. It's been a very tough weekend. I went over at the request of my auntie to look after the my cousins other two for a few hours.
Because she died at home, the police have had to be involved which has meant two lots of iterviews for the parents and one lot with the grandparents. Seems really excessive and intrusive at such a difficult time and it's hard not to get annoyes with people saying 'it's just procedure'
There are so many heartbreaking things that have happened already like the new pram arriving on Saturday morning. My cousin has two other girls who are six and four and asking LOTS of questions. Their Mum's maternal instinct has kicked in and she's doing her best to make some sens of it all for them. Her husband is really struggling.
They took clay hand and foot prints at the hospital and made a 'memory box' which the nurses explained to the two girls that they can touch their sister any time by putting their hand on the clay impression. The nurses showed such compassion and I'm sure, in the long run, will have made that initial grief all the more bearable for the little two and their parents. Unlike the police who were almost accusing my cousin of doing something wrong.
They still have no idea what the cause of death was and have to have a post mortem some time this week. All of this before they can think about arranging a day for the funeral.
They live next door to the church and the vicar has kindly said he will conduct a small graveside ceremony for them for free which is very thoughtful. This is the last thing they had thought they would have to be organising at what has been such an exciting and joyous occassion.
I'm just devastated for them all. But I know that even though she wasn't here even two weeks, she'll never be forgotten. She'll always have two big sisters who'll never forget her and parents who will love her forever.
The glass of wine definitely helped on Friday night. My mind is just filled with emotion and sadness for my cousin and my auntie too who lives very close by and is very involved with the whole situation.
Just don't know how they're managing to get through this but I know they will. Life will just never be the same again though.
Sorry for rambling. Got nobody to talk to about this so it helps for me to write it down xxx
Because she died at home, the police have had to be involved which has meant two lots of iterviews for the parents and one lot with the grandparents. Seems really excessive and intrusive at such a difficult time and it's hard not to get annoyes with people saying 'it's just procedure'
There are so many heartbreaking things that have happened already like the new pram arriving on Saturday morning. My cousin has two other girls who are six and four and asking LOTS of questions. Their Mum's maternal instinct has kicked in and she's doing her best to make some sens of it all for them. Her husband is really struggling.
They took clay hand and foot prints at the hospital and made a 'memory box' which the nurses explained to the two girls that they can touch their sister any time by putting their hand on the clay impression. The nurses showed such compassion and I'm sure, in the long run, will have made that initial grief all the more bearable for the little two and their parents. Unlike the police who were almost accusing my cousin of doing something wrong.
They still have no idea what the cause of death was and have to have a post mortem some time this week. All of this before they can think about arranging a day for the funeral.
They live next door to the church and the vicar has kindly said he will conduct a small graveside ceremony for them for free which is very thoughtful. This is the last thing they had thought they would have to be organising at what has been such an exciting and joyous occassion.
I'm just devastated for them all. But I know that even though she wasn't here even two weeks, she'll never be forgotten. She'll always have two big sisters who'll never forget her and parents who will love her forever.
The glass of wine definitely helped on Friday night. My mind is just filled with emotion and sadness for my cousin and my auntie too who lives very close by and is very involved with the whole situation.
Just don't know how they're managing to get through this but I know they will. Life will just never be the same again though.
Sorry for rambling. Got nobody to talk to about this so it helps for me to write it down xxx
furrysmudge
Gold Member
sweetie please don't apologise, that's what we're here for xx It makes me realise how very very lucky I am to have 2 wonderful healthy (my daughter nearly died at a week old but thank God she's fine now) albeit stroppy teenagers. No, life will never be the same for them, but it will get easier given time, and they still have the wonderful memories of a beautiful little girl that shared their lives for such a short time. I will shoosh now because I'm nearly in tears myself, but please don't hold back or stop yourself typing here because you need to have an outlet for yourself. Much love xxxxxxxxx
WagonWheel
Full Member
I can imagine losing a child must be the worst thing that anyone could experience. Put's it all in perspective eh?
Prayers are with you.
x
Prayers are with you.
x
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Hugs to you and yours Rachel. It is an unfortunate statement of the way we live our lives now, that police need to get involved, particularly at such a raw and painful time - but as the headlines show us everyday - they can never be too sure, or too cautious. But it's horrible for the good folk, like your family to have to endure such "procedure" at a time like this. It must be so hard. We have the sickos of the world to thank for that. I imagine the police do not like doing it, but they do have to.
It is going to take a lot of time, alot of love and support, and a huge amount of healing for all of you. Be gentle with each other, and yourself.
And never apologise for writing here - if it helps you in even the tiniest amount, then bang those keys. Thats what we are here for.
You're all in my thoughts.
xxx
It is going to take a lot of time, alot of love and support, and a huge amount of healing for all of you. Be gentle with each other, and yourself.
And never apologise for writing here - if it helps you in even the tiniest amount, then bang those keys. Thats what we are here for.
You're all in my thoughts.
xxx
slendablenda
Gold Member
RACHEL
I'm so sorry for your cousin and her immediate family as well as you. When I hear of situations like this I'm glad I don't have any children. It must be unbearable to lose them. My cousin lost her little boy to cancer when he was 5. It was so hard for the whole family. We found that many people thought it was okay for his mother to show emotion, but people expected his father to be strong and stoical, but he was the Dad and suffering just the same loss. You will all have different ways of feeling and dealing with your sadness.
My heart goes out to you. xxx
I'm so sorry for your cousin and her immediate family as well as you. When I hear of situations like this I'm glad I don't have any children. It must be unbearable to lose them. My cousin lost her little boy to cancer when he was 5. It was so hard for the whole family. We found that many people thought it was okay for his mother to show emotion, but people expected his father to be strong and stoical, but he was the Dad and suffering just the same loss. You will all have different ways of feeling and dealing with your sadness.
My heart goes out to you. xxx
I'm so sorry to read this sad news, your family are in my thoughts.
If I may be so bold to thoroughly recommend contacting SANDS for support.
http://www.uk-sands.org
They are immensley helpful, sensitive and can provide a third party outlet to those grieving, whether it's you, your cousin or her other half, or anyone else who would like to talk. It can sometimes be very difficult to talk to people who are close to you, and they will be more than happy to lend an ear.
Big hugs to you all, RIP little one xxx
If I may be so bold to thoroughly recommend contacting SANDS for support.
http://www.uk-sands.org
They are immensley helpful, sensitive and can provide a third party outlet to those grieving, whether it's you, your cousin or her other half, or anyone else who would like to talk. It can sometimes be very difficult to talk to people who are close to you, and they will be more than happy to lend an ear.
Big hugs to you all, RIP little one xxx
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Oh rachel that's terrible news I'm so sorry and as BL said there are no words to express! Sending virtual hugs to you though.
I can't even really imagine what you and your family are going through. It must all seem like a nightmare that you hope you will all wake up from.
I have unfortunately known several parents and families who have lost children and whilst there is unbearable and unimaginable pain for a long time - somehow people do find the strength to carry on and in time the pain does seem to ease a bit to the point where they can enjoy the happy memories too.
I have unfortunately known several parents and families who have lost children and whilst there is unbearable and unimaginable pain for a long time - somehow people do find the strength to carry on and in time the pain does seem to ease a bit to the point where they can enjoy the happy memories too.
