ProPoints Azwethinkweiz (Sarah)s new food diary!

Strike of the OH... Again.

I'm a bit upset. I was talking to OH about my sisters wedding (which will be in malta) and messing saying me and my other sister (bridesmaids) will be put in horrid dresses and my sis will prob look like a greek goddess. Then he made a quip about how me and my sister would be wearing a donkey costume, because we're the "ugly" sisters, with my sis sitting on top of us. I know I'm not as pretty or thin as my sister but I thought this was harsh and its upset me that he said something like that.
Now he's pissed off that I can't "take a joke"? But I'm just feeling a bit sensitive this week... And I'm always sensitive about my sister because all my exes fancied her (which is hard to accept and deal with especially when she's around).

I dunno, feeling a bit teary today now. Maybe I'm just over-emotional. I don't even want him to come to the wedding now... Will I just be the "donkey" in a bikini while he oogles my sister? I don't like that thought at all!!

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grrr men are so thoughtloss! My OH will occassionaly say stupid comments, and say ohhhh was only joking. I think mine doesnt know when to turn his 'lad banter' mode off and switch to boyfriend mode sometimes!! Not funny!

Dont be sad you will be stunning and skinny mini :D

xx
 
Its just that he makes it so obvious he thinks that he's got one of the "ugly" sisters. As if he'd rather be with her but obviously can't be. I dunno how I'm supposed to feel about that? I'm sick of being with people who are attracted to my sister more than me, it makes me feel so crap about myself to be honest. I love my sister to bits which makes this harder for me. Sometimes I just wish I was her.

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It must be horrible having to feel like that. You shouldnt feel like you have to compare yourself to anyone hun! And he shouldnt make you feel like you have to compare yourself to anyone..especially your sister! Id be upset too :( xx
 
I think its worse that its my sister he's talking about. Making it sound like I'm not fit to tie her shoes or something. He's all pissed off with me now and I feel like crying (granted I felt like crying all day, I blame my hormones)

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Aw Sarah sending the biggest of hugs.. That was super insensitive of him to say..
Although.. (looking from the outside in) I do think it was said in jest and typically for men the words were out before he thought about the affect they'd have.. IF he thought about the affect at all.. Which men usually dont!!
At the same time he knows how already insecure u are about how u look so it was kinda obvious it would be hurtful to you.. I know I'd be feeling the very same if it was said to me (but my sister is a horror so it never wud hee hee hee)
It does sound like something Jono wud come out with meaning it completely as a joke but it wud definitely hurt..

Like sometimes he'll crack a joke about how hot Elaine is for instance.. Totally in jest and I know 100% it does be meant that way.. But at the time of the comment I feel very hurt and more insecure than ever.. And he'll be like "fuk sake take a bleedin' joke will ya?!" not understanding that things like that hurt women and (in my case) hav a long term effect.. Like I never forget those 'jokes' and wud often think about them when I'v time to myself and allow my mind to wander..
 
Eugh he has no right to be pissed off. He wouldnt like it if you compared him to say his brother and make him feel inferior.

It is different but my ex. Complete and utter d**k..went out with him when i was 16...he was 23 so a big age difference...But. He used to slag me off, called me things like little piggy..etc etc. Made me weigh myself infront of him and commented on it. I was a size 12 at the time and i remember me snipping all the size labels off my clothes so he wouldnt see i wasnt a size 8/10. It really affected me and lead to my comfort eating and bingeing as i felt i wasnt thin or perfect enough so would put myself down and then if i ate felt like a whale and then ended up bingeing. Therefore putting alot of weight on after we split as i blamed my looks for his getting rid of me.

Just shows you what it can lead to when people put you down. Can lead to such a negative effect :(

You have came so far and almost at goal he should be making you feel amazing, dont be upset :( xx
 
That's exactly it. I can't forget his "joke" now (which if you think about wasn't a joke but a harsh truth made into a joke) no matter how much I want to.
I say "why'd you have to say that? Saying me and my sister are the donkey compared to my other sister?" Then he totally goes off on one at me cursing and blinding etc. I feel now I'll be watching his every move if my sister is around... I hate that paranoia. Fact is, she's knows she's the "hot" one and plays up to it when our OHs are around.

I need a good cry. Ya never think your own fella is gonna turn around and call ya a donkey!! (sounds funny when I'm saying it now but it really isn't when its said to you in the context I heard it)

:'(

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Dubchick81 said:
Aw Sarah sending the biggest of hugs.. That was super insensitive of him to say..
Although.. (looking from the outside in) I do think it was said in jest and typically for men the words were out before he thought about the affect they'd have.. IF he thought about the affect at all.. Which men usually dont!!
At the same time he knows how already insecure u are about how u look so it was kinda obvious it would be hurtful to you.. I know I'd be feeling the very same if it was said to me (but my sister is a horror so it never wud hee hee hee)
It does sound like something Jono wud come out with meaning it completely as a joke but it wud definitely hurt..

Like sometimes he'll crack a joke about how hot Elaine is for instance.. Totally in jest and I know 100% it does be meant that way.. But at the time of the comment I feel very hurt and more insecure than ever.. And he'll be like "fuk sake take a bleedin' joke will ya?!" not understanding that things like that hurt women and (in my case) hav a long term effect.. Like I never forget those 'jokes' and wud often think about them when I'v time to myself and allow my mind to wander..
Click to expand...

I agree with the lads jokes, My OH goes too far sometimes, they dont know when to stop, always too far :(
 
In fairness, and I'm sorry for saying this, but, your sister is kinda in the wrong too to be playing up to it when they're around..
Listen, truth time, You are FAR from a donkey!! You're amazing! Look at how far you've come on your weight loss journey.. He needs to wake the hell up and realise what he's got and stop taking you for granted.. He knows you have insecurities and should be telling you more often (assuming he tells u now n then) just how beautiful and amazing you are. He should be making you realise your worth not making you feel (more) crap about yourself..
One day I know you're gona wake up (like I did with Kevin) and say, "right, enough is enough. I've taken all the crap i'm going to from him its time to put ME and MY happiness first and move on.."
It will be the best thing in the world for you, your confidence, your depression (down days) and d'ya kno probably even your health.. Those tummy problems are often aggrivated by stress (Nurse Claire please clarify??) And when he see's you being happier than ever without him he'll think "sh1t! what have I lost (thrown away)"
 
Omg Sarah I'm so angry reading this. You are beautiful, you are funny and you really shouldn't be made to feel like this.

My husband can be a complete prat sometimes, depending on who he's with, certain mates etc. We've been together though for 15 years and although he's sometimes not stuck up for me when I've felt he perhaps should've done he has never made me feel worthless or ugly or whatever. We've been through a lot lately family crap and I thought we honestly wouldn't make a year of marriage but we got through it together and all the time he reassured me and stuck by me. I can't remember u once saying you felt supported or reassured by him.

Sweetheart it does seem to be one thing after the other with him and you are so lovely, I feel privileged to know you on here. I think you deserve to be treated a hell of a lot better than he treats you.

xxx
 
Here here Tracy..
Sarah.. yer a wee legend on here..
I think I speak for everyone when I say you deserve the absolute best and nothing even slightly less..
Only you know what's right for you. And as I said yesterday we only hear the bad bits..
But I think if you're only 7 months into your relationship and you'v already thought about walking away.. Then mayb you too know he's not for you.. Maybe ur afraid of being on your own if you walk away??!!
 
Thanks star, tracy, frances xxx

I dunno what I want girls. He makes it seem like I'm mad in the head for being upset about these kinds of things. Like he "shouldn't have to walk on eggshells" about what he says. I remember him saying once that he always tells the truth and that if I don't think I'll like the answer then I shouldn't ask the question... So I'm afraid of what I would hear if I ever asked _anything_, ya know?
I just don't need him beating me down about my looks when I tend to do it to myself enough. It doesn't help that I woke up feeling kinda heavy and looking worse for wear. I know I shouldn't be so sensitive but I just am?

Ugh... I actually went and cried in the bathroom at work. How sad am I? Xx

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azwethinkweiz said:
Thanks star, tracy, frances xxx

I dunno what I want girls. He makes it seem like I'm mad in the head for being upset about these kinds of things. Like he "shouldn't have to walk on eggshells" about what he says. I remember him saying once that he always tells the truth and that if I don't think I'll like the answer then I shouldn't ask the question... So I'm afraid of what I would hear if I ever asked _anything_, ya know?
I just don't need him beating me down about my looks when I tend to do it to myself enough. It doesn't help that I woke up feeling kinda heavy and looking worse for wear. I know I shouldn't be so sensitive but I just am?

Ugh... I actually went and cried in the bathroom at work. How sad am I? Xx

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Click to expand...
Really wish you would have enough faith in yourself to realise how wonderful you really are..
No, he shouldn't have to walk on eggshells but he should use him common sense!!
Any girl, no matter what size or shape is gona be hurt by comment like that..
You have my number and i'm gona say it again.. if EVER u need a shoulder/ear, use it.. MWAH
 
Aye I told him he must have no common sense where women are concerned... He basically gave out to me for pointing out what he'd said saying I couldn't keep my mouth shut!? I said HE needed to learn to keep his big mouth shut!
Sheesh. He's storming around the office and I'm just ignoring him. Think I'll go home a bit early and do my overtime from home tonight... Feck him.

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azwethinkweiz said:
Aye I told him he must have no common sense where women are concerned... He basically gave out to me for pointing out what he'd said saying I couldn't keep my mouth shut!? I said HE needed to learn to keep his big mouth shut!
Sheesh. He's storming around the office and I'm just ignoring him. Think I'll go home a bit early and do my overtime from home tonight... Feck him.

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Click to expand...

Oh do you both work in the same office?? I thought it was just the same company...
Yea do hun.. At least ya'll get some peace..

Aren't blokes just great at turning arguments to being our fault?? Or is that just blokes I get tangled up with?
No matter how wrong they are, they can twist it so you think you'v done wrong..
I used to be the one that'd end up apologising after he (at the time wud hav been Kevin, but has happened with Jono in the past) had been in the wrong...
 
Yeah we work in the same office, this place is just one big office lol!! Luckily my back is to him so I don't have to look at his grumpy face.

I know, I ain't apologizing for HIM pretty much calling me a donkey... Pffft.

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Oo had such a poo day at work, not had time to catch up on here!
Sarah darlin I can only bak up the others n confirm ur OH is defo out of order n ur defo not a donkey, more like a lovely pony! If it helps eeyore is a bootiful donkey!!
Men mostly always seem to not think b4 they speak babe!
Ignore him!
U r ace! Go to ur sisters wedding with ur head held high n looking fab-u-lous!!!
Xx
 
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