Barb's going at it a little differently!

[Barb]

So, one month complete and the results are in: 3lbs off!

I am very happy with that. I know it could have been much more but it could have been nothing or it could have been put on!

What have i learnt?

That I struggle to resist weighing myself but have definitely cut it down a bit. I will try harder this month.
That keeping a diary works - even though the record shows numerous meals out and boozy barbeques, at least I can see why it is 3lbs off not 7.
That slow and steady is what i need to do. I have lost 3lbs, that is worth doing, if i keep that up for a year that is 2.5stone gone. That is worth doing.

Is there any good reason to stop doing what i am doing? No, it is working so here goes for another month and on August 28th, I will hope to see another 2-3lbs gone.

 

[minusfour]

How about that, three pounds, no pain, well done!

 

[Barb]

Thanks for that. It's good to see some progress, even though it's only a little. Need to get more organised though, just seem to be doing too much eating and drinking! Got DD2 back from Australia on wednesday and still celebrating!

 

[Pink!]

Aw well done lovely, 3lbs is great, it's better than puttiong it on right! And it really does al add up.
Hope your week goes well

 

[Barb]

As usual I have been awol far longer than I meant to. Life just keeps getting in the way. I have been lazy about my diary and exercise and generally not been in the mood. However, I have managed to lose 2 more lbs in the last 3 weeks and feel very pleased and amazed by that. It's no good overly pushing myself at the moment, I am simply not up to it. I said I would be prepared for a long journey and i am, if I get to December and I am 10lbs lighter I will be thrilled. That's the way for me to look at it. I will not set myself up to fail and then beat myself up for it. Onwards and downwards!

 

[Pink!]

Yay for the loss! Awesome stuff hun
How are you? I hope life isn't being too rough.
Hugs.

 

[Barb]

Hi Emz

thank you for your support and encouragement, I really appreciate it. I am ok, still struggling over my Dad tbh. Some days i am fine, like 'normal' able to get on with stuff and cope. Other days I feel buried by a huge wave of sadness; it comes out of nowhere and I struggle to do anything. Life is very busy, still got kids at home, my Mum needs me a lot and I have 2 businesses to run as well. We have been busy trying to sell Mum's house etc.. too, so it feels a bit relentless really. I think it is going to get better soon, I hope so. In some ways it will be good to get this first year without Dad over. Perhaps then I will be more able to cope.

Thanks for the hugs, as you can tell, I need them at the moment!

 

[Pink!]

Aw hun, that is a lot to deal with! You should try and attempt to just grab an hour or so completely to yourself to recharge, even if it's just going for a walk, or having a kitchen party by yourself (I clean the kitchen and sing reaaallly loudly to properly bad [but awesome] music, it helps a lot).

Grief is such a tricky thing to deal with. It really does come in waves. It's like you can cope for days at a time and then something, like a smell or a song, will just totally set you off and it feels like you're back at square one. But it does get better hun. It takes time, and it's painful, but eventually those waves settle and you can look out on this calm sea of memories and feel at peace with it. Give yourself time, you cant rush stuff like this.

Good luck sorting out the house and everything, that must be such a nightmare.

Things will get better lovely, probably all at once! Sods law isn't it.

Best wishes, and lots more hugs!

 

[Barb]

Thank Emz, I love what you say about one day there being a calm sea of memories. You write really beautifully. Thank you.

I know I need time to pass, I need some rest from all the madness and I am sure that will happen.

Meantime I am trying to be careful that I don't pressure myself about myself. I feel more confident about the weight loss now that i have opened up the possibilities. I feel like the choices i make are really mine to make and I am going to stop eating things I don't want just because they fit in with the family. It's a real change for me, I am always, like most Mums, bottom of my own list, but I intend to improve on that and be just a bit more selfish. We'll see. Onwards and downwards.

 

[minusfour]

You are doing wonderfully well, Barb. I think it's great that you are mindful of putting too much pressure on yourself. Most important to look after oneself! When I was growing up, if one of our pets died my mother would console us by telling us that one day we would enjoy our happy memories of the pet, without feeling overwhelmed by grief. My mother died 15 years ago, and she was a very wise woman, most of the time I do enjoy her memory, without that crushing grief.

Most important; "look to the living, love them and hang on"
(From The Anatomy of Melancholy)

 

[Pink!]

You should definitely be more selfish, I always wish that my mum would be, I expect your kids would want that too. You're just as important as they are, so take a little time and appreciate yourself, you're doing fab.
Glad that you're feeling more confident though, that's the main thing.

Best wishes lovely

 

[Barb]

Thank you minus four and Emz, your words are much appreciated. Well, a month has slipped by and I have remained the same. I'm not surprised, i cannot pretend I have made any effort at all. Quite the opposite really. I feel low so much of the time it is hard to focus on myself. Being thinner seems such a trivial issue in the great scheme of things. BUT, it is what I want, so here I am, back again, going to re-visit this diary from day one and make some effort. I want to feel fitter and stronger and thats not going to happen without some weight loss. Also realise that I am looking at holidays for next year based on avoiding going on a airplane. All because of the seat belt. How ridiculous is that? So, with Christmas (always a hectic time and fraught with extra worry this year) just over 3 months away, it's time to get down to some serious effort.

To those who pop in here and visit, thank you so much, I know I am so inconsistent and I appreciate your interest so much.

 

[minusfour]

Good to see you back! I'm sorry you are feeling so low. Try to look after yourself, and be kind to yourself. I can absolutely promise it will get better, but not when. On your weight, you are not doing that badly- STS during such a time, and down five pounds since the start-not bad at all. Remember, kind to yourself! (That is an order!)

 

[Barb]

Thanks Minusfour, I know you are right. I could still drop a lb by the end of Sept, and that's what i'm hoping for. If I set the aim too high I will fail and be down about it, so still going with the 'softly softly' approach. Seriously, 10lbs off for Christmas would be fantastic. I know for some people that would be unbearably slow but for me it would represent progress. Slow but sure. it has to be like that for me now.

 

[minusfour]

I reckon ten pounds off by Christmas sounds fantastic! Who knows, you might have another eleven off by next Christmas, which would make 21! The pressure we put on ourselves to lose quickly is insane, and more often than not results in gains instead of losses. I reckon this slow and steady is sounding pretty good. Hope you have a good day!

 

[Pink!]

Hey love, how are you?
Sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit low. I think you're a saint for the amount that you deal with and you still manage to come on here and speak about bettering yourself.
Dont let life get you down, you're stong, you can kick its arse!

 

[Barb]

Oh Emz, thank you, you are so good to me. I am ok, struggling big time on the cutting down. Feel the munchies creeping up a lot lately. I really need to get on with it, but I keep sabotaging myself.Perhaps the start of a ne wmonth will get me going. Certainly hope so!

 

[Barb]

I reckon ten pounds off by Christmas sounds fantastic! Who knows, you might have another eleven off by next Christmas, which would make 21! The pressure we put on ourselves to lose quickly is insane, and more often than not results in gains instead of losses. I reckon this slow and steady is sounding pretty good. Hope you have a good day!

Exactly, it's taken years to get to this point, so it's not all going to melt off over night. Dammit. Wouldn't that be great? xxx

 

[Barb]

So, last day of the month and i have managed (don't really know how!) to knock a lb off. I am going to aim for 2 off in October minimum. I think I will get down to it better from tomorrow. It si our 32nd wedding anniversary today so i am afraid champgne is the order of the day, but after that I really must make more effort. If I can lose a lb without real effort what would happen if I really tried!!!!!

 

[Princess-Jader]

well done on the pound loss, it's definetely a step in the right direction! All the best with your weight loss journey