Battle with Mum.....

[lauriel]

I desperately need to get this off my chest.

My Mum began Exante a week ago. After shedding 3 and a half stone on LT last year, she has kept it off and insists that she wants to lose a further 2 stone. My mum is really petite and small - personally I do not think she needs to lose anymore.

Anyway, the problem I have encountered is her skipping shakes. I have only just found out that she did this the whole way through her LT journey (13weeks) and now she is doing it on Exante. I spoke to her about it the other day....Her reply to me was 'I am ok, 2 is enough for me. I am only small.' ...I was like WTF!?!?! Just because you're a small person doesn't mean you need less nutrients! I also noticed that her hair has gotten very thin, I daren't mention this to her as she would be distraught and make her stress out - which could lead to further loss!

I spoke to her about it during the week and I couldn't stress the amount of times I told her about how important it is..She still insists she's ok.
She's my mum and I want to make sure she is healthy..She works long hours too. Its worrying me, I don't want her ending up with a deficiency or an illness ...I am just worried. I have got the throat infection from hell at the moment and can barely swallow but I am still making sure I get my 3 shakes... My Dad has also tried to tell her but she snaps at him.

I just don't know what to do for the best ..My Mum thinks she knows best when she really doesn't.

 

[Starlight]

Perhaps you SHOULD point out her hair and the fact that if she keeps doing this that shes possibly going to make it worse.

Or mention some of the problems that she could encounter making herself ill, etc and mention hair loss there

 

[lauriel]

I've been thinking about it Starlight. I really noticed it when I was out with her on Thursday there. She already has IBS and a bad bladder - conditions she was left with as a result of the hystorectomy she had as she had cervical cancer. I don't want her ending up with any more ailments.
The way she is snapping at my Dad worries me too, Im wandering if that's a side effect of not having the 3 packs - her moods can be off sometimes, mostly with him. I've tried to tell her the implications of not having all 3 packs. She's very stubborn and I worry it may take for something to go wrong before she changes her ways. It's awful. She is basically starving herself.

 

[Starlight]

If it was a one off or shed skipped a couple it would be one thing but if shes blatantly ignoring the advice and refusing to do it properly Id go for the tough love option. Youve tried reasoning with her and warning her I think if it was me Id just be harsh and not only tell her how worried you are but point out the hair thing. Is she likely to change her attitude if she knows how worried you are, thats the kind of thing that would get my mum back on track - you know a bit of emotional blackmail

This is one of the things that always worries me when people on here say about skipping shakes for whatever reason, they just totally underestimate the damage it can do

 

[lauriel]

Thanks Starlight

You're right, I think Im definitely going to have to do something - she might not like me for it, but its in her best interests.
My Dad told me in confidence about her only having the 2 shakes a day, he's worried about her - very much like I am. Last thing I want is for her to think he's been sneaking about talking about her. She really thinks that starving herself is the way forward!

 

[nixib]

When I read your post, the first thing I thought was tell her that her hair is thin... Vanity should kick in! It's very difficult, as she see's this behaviour as sucessful.
Good luck X

 

[lauriel]

Thanks Nixib

I really have to try my best to change her way of thinking. Its not like she doesn't know the dangers, she just chooses to ignore them - which makes the situation worse. Im going to have to mention the hair thing though, whether she likes it or not..Her hair has always been thick and full but it has thinned out to the point where her scalp is slightly visible - its made worse by the fact she has black hair..Once my throat and ear infection has cleared up I think I'll have a long chat with her

 

[angel-missy]

I really hope you can get your mum to see sense. As a nurse I read up on VLCDs before deciding to go ahead. If used properly they are formulated to contain not only all the vitamins and minerals needed but also adequate protein. If you don't have your full requirement of protein the body will use muscle from your body. From the perspective of weight loss that results in LESS fat loss so actually undermines the whole point of the diet. Also, and I don't mean to scare you but it should be pointed out to your mum, the muscle it will also break down is the heart muscle which can cause lasting damage. She won't slow fat loss by eating all packs but actually increase it as metabolism will be maintained better. Good luck -she is lucky to have you and your dad to look out for her.