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Be Good To Yourself

Cerulean

Silver Member
#1
Okay. So I'm sniffling. I'm having a good cry, because I have cried less this year than any other year in my life.

I don;t like my life at the moment - and if there's one thing I have learned not just this year, but over the last 5 years, if you don't like something, you can change it.

My problem is that getting to goal wasn't quite what I thought it would be. I was still too focused on the food when I got there 'Oh the things I can eat when I get to such and such a week', I thought to myself. 'I'll never eat badly again!' I thought.

Well - we all know what happened, I was one of the victims of the sugarcrack fairy - or to put it another way - I allowed myself a hit of sugar too early in the game and totally lost all control.

I have regularly been eating over 10 chocolate bars a day. At one point I was purging, but in order to break the cycle, I put a stop to that bit - alas, that means that until you can get rid of the bingeing, you put on weight. It's nothing drastic, I'm not fat, but I have tipped over into overweight by half a stone or so.

So I kind of want to say 'AND IT STOPS HERE' but drawing a line like that has never worked for me, too many voices all at once jumping in and saying 'not this again, you never succeed' - and that's a pattern of behaviour I never want to return to.

So. I am keeping it simple. Back to the food diary, back to the thought records (even though my chatterbox just sighed dramatically and pulled a face) and back to just plain giving myself some good food and nt fixating on it too much. I know I have to veto anything with sugar in it, but how is that a hardship? I am already in a good place with so many other things I thought would never be okay taht I'm sure I can eventually turn the odd sugary thing into an occasional think I do participate in. Just not this week!

Maybe I'm just on the accelerated learning course, maybe I'm just doing what some people do after they finish management - but I think I can get back where I was. I'd like to be 10st 4 again and eating normally.

So. Sarah. By the end of November I will be 10st 4 and eating 3 nutritious meals a day with the odd snack. By balancing exercise and eating choices you will be able to maintain this weight.

The blog's back up.

Oh - this is going to sound really weird, but comments and advice tend to make me react quite negatively. It's my thing - hope that's okay with you guys (yes of course I ask myself why!)
 
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Mini

Administrator
Staff member
#3
Good post!:ignore:
 

Cerulean

Silver Member
#5
Oh no Sandra...it's me rather than anyone else - I don't take comments of any sort about what I might do very well - I either brush them off and feel awful for doing so or I get angry. It was the conversation with my mum last night that brought it all to a head. So I thought I'd do things one step at a time - start talking about my journey again and then slowly start to open up from there. I was just asking for what I need right now.
 

sun

Silver Member
#6
sarah, all your posts positive or negative people can aliken to.

xx
 
#8
Right there with you. I understand.
 
#10
I just want to say that I too have just realised that being overweight gives you lots of reasons for unhappiness and its easy to blame being big for how you feel. I was like this and one thing I have really learned from losing 7 stone and actually looking like the person I always wanted to be , I now have to be that person and its not so easy. The problem with losing weight is , thoughyou change on the outside , you can still be the same person on the inside with all the same insecurities and worries, its a difficult subject , thankyou Sarah for being honest enough to post.
 


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