I've neglected my public diary, because ... well, because I have.
A colleague started their weight loss journey at the same time as myself, and while they have been the most miserable person around for the past few weeks and I know full well that they have a history of crash dieting and doubling their weight I'm still starting to wonder if I'm going about this the wrong way. I know that if I did things the way she's doing them I wouldn't get long-term results, I'd get down to my ultimate goal weight relatively quickly but I'd be unable to maintain the way of life which led me there. Yet the fact she's lost 5kgs compared to my 2 makes me a little ... well, annoyed. Even with all the justifications about how she started from a higher weight, or how she led a much more sedentary lifestyle filled with calorie laden food so simple cut backs will see a bigger result on a weekly basis, I'm still sitting there feeling a bit miffed that my aim for long-term, lifestyle changes is never going to be seen as positively as her quick loss crash diet.
Actually, it's only when she tells me "when I've lost weight, you can have my old clothes" that I feel my face screwing up quizzically, or when she's giving me tips on how to be healthy, or she's preaching about how being grumpy is worth getting down to her wedding weight for summer. Which sort of, kind of makes me want to give up my slowly-slowly approach, not so much because I'm competitive but because it really gets to me to have someone telling me how to live a healthier life, when they're following a VLCD and an unsustainable exercise regime.
Plus, this recent photo tells me that I look a bit like a fat kidney bean from the side. Which, when comparing it to photos from before the 2kg loss makes me think those kilos have come straight from my breasts... Maybe I should up the stakes a little though, I don't like looking like this, and it doesn't help my confidence in interviews. Who'd hire a fatty eh? I know lots of people would, but irrational thoughts are irrational thoughts!
As a side note, this weekend has been full of over eating. Which isn't that bad, a few days of gluttony are to be expected in life, but this week I need to stop being so lax.