- available from most supermarkets as well as chemists. 
Cant get weighed next week so i guess it will be another 3 lbs and when I see her I hope to be 12 stone 3lbs- there is a silly person wishing away the next 13 weeks I have just realised i'm exactly half way! I worked out it would take 26 weeks and and if I havn't forgot my maths its half way!!! I think I should go and celebrate- ohh what should I have lets guess a shake YES.. I have been sort of hiding me because me isn't sure she can cope with the other me.... I guess a little explaining is on the cards.. I look in the mirror and only see obese Sam! it doesn't matter whick way I turn its just huge me... I had to do the shopping thing the other day for my husband and I thought i'd get a pair of jeans for me to put away for the future. I have very small legs slimand the don't fir the body!!!!! Anyway I decided to get a size 16 and thought that I would try them on for the leg length.... I came home washed and ironed them and put them on the rail... Well that was it I forget about them... But yesterday I was told I needed to start wearing clothes that fit me.. So this mornig I woke my husband up and made him wake up and sit up to look at me in these jeans and top... I hadn't told him or showed him becasue it didn't seem real... I put the jeans on and asked him if it was ok??? I got yes babe its fine- not sure if it was real or false just to get back to sleep... Anyway I went into work and thought no more about it for a hour or two then I noticed people looking at me- I wasn't sure if I was imagining it of I really looked sooooo bad that someone needed to tell me.... I sent a text to my husband asking him if he really was looking this morning and why were people looking at me -- did I look really bad -- He sent me a text back that if I could have won the lottery at that time I would rather have had the text!!!! He said you have got a figure now and you have been hiding it in baggy clothes.. I couldn't believe it.... I still have a horrible horrible middle bit that on all the other diets I lost first but on this its still there!!!!I wore a size 16 jeans and I honestly thought they were staring because I looked so bad.... No-one said anything but this afternoon I sort of feel good- its odd but I know that I had a size 16 on today.. Me who went to school in a size 18 skirt and top!!!!! I can't wait for the middle bit to go and maybe when I look in the mirror I will see me..
... The weekend has been brilliant my husband and myself just having time together- its a shock to both have a weekend off Roll on one week Tuesday and weigh in...... I want this over with I am becoming impacient now. Its exactly 14 weeks- to be honest I cannot believe I have lasted so long. The not weighing each week is so tough, I read about everyones weight loss and I am so happy for you guys I just would like a definate each week.. I guess - I put 3 lbs down each week and its normally on target. The best I can work out is i'm 12 stone 3lbs.. I Will be 12 stone next week if everything goes to target... I was 12 years old and 12 stone- it was a very long time ago.. a bit of me is excited but a large part of me is so tired of not eating. I don't miss food and i'm scared of eating again in case I put it all back on..but I do miss the social side of going out with my husband. I have just realised i'm over half way.. my goal was 26 weeks to take me to 9 stone 7lbs but I think it will be sooner- the pharmacist says she won't let me get that weight because its too low... I can't imagine how I will cope with being under 12 stone- its nerver happened in my conscious life- I wonder if its as good as people say???? I went into the fatty shop(Evans), like I always do and I stood there thinking thats nice- and then realised ohhhh I don't know wether they have it in my size . I'm a size 16 ..... I bought 4 tops at the reduced rate of wait for it £3 each ..they were in the sale and I guess a size 16 is not a popular size because they had loads... I know this sounds silly but I was in a shop that had really nice jeans and a lady had 3 out of 4 on her arm.. I really liked them and though I'd treat myself- I looked at the price and to be honest I just had a shock..£95 each . Now I know i've been obese all my life and clothes for me have always been expensive but £95 for a size 16 !!!!!!. Needless to say i'm not going to be wearing them BUT I did go into a shop and asked if they had jeans in the sale and she said only large ones- I asked what size the large ones were and she said size 16 . I bought 2 pairs of jeans for wait for it £5 each . Large sizes!! me in a large size oh I can cope with a large size if its a 16 .. I spent 4 hours in that shopping centre and for the first time in my life I really enjoyed it... Oh I found a child who was lost and she was calling for mummy so I picked her up so she could see if mummy was around, I asked the shop assistant to put a tannoy call out and I asked the little lady what was mammys name- do you know what she said.. mummy ... oh that was soooo cute..... We found mummy and oh it was so nice to see the joy on their faces ... I came home and walked my first gsd and got wet wet wet and he loved it! by the time we got back my ***** had torn the blind down in the bathroom and took all the cushions off the sofa- whats up with her??? I always walk him first so I have no idea whats winding her up... When I walked her I came home and he was snoring.. chalk and cheese.....
see even in text.. Roll on next week when I will have hopefully reached 12 stone Now all i need to do is get out there and ask those embarrising questions.. Today has been really odd for me again, sort of goes good day, wierd day and really odd day.. Got up with the bad feeling that I wanted to jack it all in and go onto refeed.. I just wanted to eat. I have been thinking about my new target and I guess it has been depressing me.. I just want tuesday out of the way and then to know what i'm aiming for.. Its funny because I always thought 9 7 was the ideal.. and I've been so looking forward to that and now its not to be. I guess i've worked out that if i'm not allowed to go to that then i will finish before Christmas not a day after and I think it is scaring the wotsits off me. I always planned to start re feed on the 26th and that was christmas sorted but now I will have to "deal" with Christmas dinner at the in laws and oh boy am I worried..... . I contemplated if I had 1 would it bring me out of ketosis and then I thought 1 won't hurt and decided i'd get 1- went into the kitchen on the sly to get MY 1 and low and behold the jar was enpty... She had eaten the lot . There must be a gardian angel looking over me . The first time I decided to eat and they were all gone . That told me I went back into the room and told my daughter what i'd done and she smiled and put her last one in her mouth .. But she has gone to bed and i'm sort of sorted again thought about it tried it failed and now over it . Ireally like these smilies i'm beginning to actually use this computer now. Still don't know what the green squares are for so I guess i'll stop nattering now and go find the wonderful pierce and find out what he says about them . I couldn't post a new thread so i just put pierce into search and low and behold he had answered the same question I needed answering...Off to find out a little more about this wonderful site that keeps me sane. the hardest day of my journey.. If we could have 2 Sundays I think i'd be able to cope.... I wake up and even if i'm working I get down thinking all day about the lovely meal i'm missing. I don't know how it worked out but Saturday was always chineese day.. and to be honest the smells fron oh's food nearly kill me.. My daughter always has a take away too and i'm getting to the stage where i'd kill for sweet and sour and I hate sweet and sour.!!!!! Today i've been so busy getting the house acceptable, and waiting for oh to get home -he's been away and I have missed him sooo much- We talk every day but its the nights when I cuddle up to him- he is always so warm.. Me so cold, him so warm -what more does a woman need? A hot water bottle for when he goes away!!!! I'm sort of avoiding the real reason i'm on here just now. I am loosing so much hair i'm really worried now.. In the bath this morning it was like a carpet left behind and just now my daughter rang me to say its raining-3 loads of washing on the line, I just rushed to the door and I don't really know how it happened but I ended tearing a load of hair out of my head. It didn't really hurt! it just came out with a pop, now i'm very worried. I know I can't speak to the pharmacist until my weight in on Tuesday and to be honest with the new target and the hair loss i'm getting very down... I could cope with the bad bum but to loose my hair in clumps i'm not happy..I started to take iron tablets 2 weeks ago to try and combat the problem but after the display earlier I don't think its working.
