Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary
- Thread starter FatFairNForty(ish)
- Start date
Karen1972
Gold Member
Hiya Jen
I just caught up on your thread and you really do write very well, it really captures the imagination.
I know we had a bit of a disagreement on my dating thread earlier but i just wanted to say please don't let your experience with Friday the 13th d*ckhead man put you off dating - dating is great fun and you will meet lots of frogs before you meet a prince. The trick is to guard your heart, treat it as a bit of fun until you know it could be a real romance! I know you've read my thread so will know the rollercoaster ride i've had (my dating life changed on a weekly basis practically!!) with many ups and downs (not of the right kind either haha). BUT overall it has just been the most amazing fun and have met some very interesting people - the whole psychology of dating is fascinating - how people treat you before, during and after the date - kept me amused for hours haha.
Sooo, write this one off as experience, don't shed another tear from him - you are worth better than an alcoholic btw!!!
I look forward to hearing about your next encounter.... do you internet date? or do you have another source of men? haha.
Take care of yourself...
I just caught up on your thread and you really do write very well, it really captures the imagination.
I know we had a bit of a disagreement on my dating thread earlier but i just wanted to say please don't let your experience with Friday the 13th d*ckhead man put you off dating - dating is great fun and you will meet lots of frogs before you meet a prince. The trick is to guard your heart, treat it as a bit of fun until you know it could be a real romance! I know you've read my thread so will know the rollercoaster ride i've had (my dating life changed on a weekly basis practically!!) with many ups and downs (not of the right kind either haha). BUT overall it has just been the most amazing fun and have met some very interesting people - the whole psychology of dating is fascinating - how people treat you before, during and after the date - kept me amused for hours haha.
Sooo, write this one off as experience, don't shed another tear from him - you are worth better than an alcoholic btw!!!
I look forward to hearing about your next encounter.... do you internet date? or do you have another source of men? haha.
Take care of yourself...
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Hiya Karen
Thanks for taking the time to read my diary, lol.. I do internet date
(IS there another source of men?????) and have met many a frog.. and let them hop back to their ponds with no more than a handshake and a wave ta-ta!I have a really good mate out in the states (he used to live over here) and we discuss dates etc and set the world to rights and he says out of 100 blokes there will only be about 3 really good 'uns so he says I need to start a tally!
LOL I told him that I can't remember them all! KIDDING!!!I heard from Friday the 13th man again tonight saying he was sorry - I told him I'll get over it! (Make him feel guilty!) As it happens... I DO have a couple of others pining and scratching at the door.. so... maybe will meet them in a while... but not interested in getting so close again for a long time (well, until the hormones kick in!) as it ain't nice to feel so used...and I told him so an all! I'm done with making scumbags feel good about their bad behaviour!
Cheers again for having a read and adding your thoughts
Karen1972
Gold Member
Yeah i had a male friend who reckoned only 1 in 100 is any good!! I bet i've had over 100 dates in the last 3 years so am due a prince!! Hopefully my Wigan man is it!! Spent a fortune on internet dating over the years and lo and behold i meet a good un in Blackpool - wtf?? haha
Pleeeeeeeeeez don't waste any emotion on this idiot and defo don't let it affect your confidence in the dating world - he's just one guy with lots of baggage that you're better off not knowing by the sounds of it!!
Crikey if i let every crap date and d*ckhead put me off dating i'd be a nun by now lol.
I'm a great believer of dusting yourself down and trying again! As Isobel once said to me the best way of getting over a man is to get under another one!! haha.
BTW, your girls sounds fantastic, you must be so proud! I've no kids myself but it's obvious from your threads how close you all are....
Luv,
Pleeeeeeeeeez don't waste any emotion on this idiot and defo don't let it affect your confidence in the dating world - he's just one guy with lots of baggage that you're better off not knowing by the sounds of it!!
Crikey if i let every crap date and d*ckhead put me off dating i'd be a nun by now lol.
I'm a great believer of dusting yourself down and trying again! As Isobel once said to me the best way of getting over a man is to get under another one!! haha.
BTW, your girls sounds fantastic, you must be so proud! I've no kids myself but it's obvious from your threads how close you all are....
Luv,
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Well done my friend!
Ok sweetie, well done on getting through Day 1 unscathed! Proud of you! Am sure you'll lose the hunger pangs very soon!
Sweet dreams and looking forward to reading your diary to see how things are going Night night xx
Ok sweetie,
well done on getting through Day 1 unscathed! Proud of you! Am sure you'll lose the hunger pangs very soon! Sweet dreams and looking forward to reading your diary to see how things are going
Night night xx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Don't think I hadn't thought about it!!!
But, having been to Sing-alonga-Sound-Of-Music and seen all those flippin women dressed as 'em I had an epiphany and decided twas not for me! My girls are wonderful, I'm going to put their pics on here when I figure out how!
They are great and I love 'em to bits.
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Day 6 ... Tears,tummy ache and triumph!
Day 6 ....
Having stayed up until the ridiculously late (early?) 3.30am! I, not surprisingly, overslept and didn't wake up until half past 9!! So... I did the honourable thing... rang in sick Now DON'T tell me you have NEVER done that!! (what, never!! - ooh er! ) well, I do have tummy ache.. you know.. "women's trouble" LOLOLOL
Went into daughters room to find she'd done the same (not surprising really as I was supposed to give her a lift at 8am!) .. so I did what every good mother does... I woke her up to tell her! LOL She groaned, rolled over and mumbled something along the lines of "oh well... I'll call in sick.. can't go in now...". Now - herein lies a dilemma... I know I should have said, "no no... get up... go in ... better late" ... but you know what... I didn't have the energy to do it ! I just thought.. sod it... let her sleep! (Bad mother points I know, I know... ) Told her to ring in to college and that she could skip today but only coz I felt so pants too!
I strolled into the bathroom, (only just avoiding the latest shards of bone that the dog so thoughtfully leaves on every blessed threshold in the house! ) had my morning constitutional (I'm definitely going to call Anglian Water and ask for a reduction in my bill as I doing more than my fair share of supplying for recycling !!) Hands washed, teeth brushed and on my way out.. a brief glimpse of my reflection merely confirms that I was up obscenely late last night!!!
Back in my room and I slump onto the bed and assess the situation... it's a Monday morning , I look like crap , feel only marginally better , and have overslept and just can't be asked to do anything! I'm so tempted to slip back under the duvet but I can tell it's daylight outside and I dunno, perhaps it dates back to all those camping trips , BUT, I can't go back to bed (at least, not alone ) so I decide to get dressed and come downstairs...
My eyes do the "mother's scan" of the living room on my way through to the kitchen.. you know the one... looking for bits of kitkat wrapper , empty yoghurt pots given to the dog and either in shreds or upside down halfway under the sofa... the lap tray with ketchup encrusted plate and cutlery on where she (daughter) ate whilst watching telly late last night, and then put it on the floor so she could get comfy on't sofa again and then nimbly steps over the tray on her way up to bed... my radar homes in on the salt pot standing idly on the coffee table .. and the ripped up Dominoes box peeking out from behind the cushion... "bless her" I think.. "she didn't want me to feel tempted so hid it.." .. ok, no, I didn't..."lazy mare! Could've put her rubbish in the bin" is more like it!!
I do what all of us mothers do best! I played the martyr! I huffed and puffed and sighed my way 'round picking up and clearing up... then into the kitchen and I'm quite pleased that it is still fairly tidy - mind you... there's only Zoe making any real mess! Somehow though, I don't really mind picking up after her and tidying up a bit.
Then I came in here to my study and logged on.. and basically, this is where I stayed for the rest of the day... give or take the odd (well, dozens) of trips to the loo and my muffin making for breakfast and lunch
I must confess, I felt very sorry for myself this morning and shed a few tears.. not really about Fri 13th man, but I guess, about the fact that it brought back to the surface emotions of when my second husband left 2 weeks before Christmas in 2004.
I was looking through the threads on here and came across one which really upset me, so much so that I can't really face going back to it again. I sat here in floods of tears remembering the distress of discovering his affair. The sheer physical and emotional pain of when he used to lie to me,and, even when I confronted him, he lied, and lied, and lied. He put me through hell. Made love to me one day and was as cold as ice the next. (still can't understand how he could be so heartless). Suicide was truly becoming more and more appealing as the deception continued relentless- he was very manipulative and cruel. He used my girls and our friends in his mind games, everyone was oblivious.. I knew.. inside... but everyone told me I was wrong ...that my paranoia would drive him away ... he'd never do that to me... but he did.. and my whole world collapsed around me.
My precious girls, who had already lost one father in a terrible accident, now had lost another, but this time it was his choice. Their pain was horrendous and so deep. Sarah told him that she felt she had lost her father all over again - he had been their stepdad for 12 years... Zoe just runed inside her shell and shut the world out. The girls just reacted as you might expect... became withdrawn, surly,angry, depressed,... schoolwork started to go downhill rapidly..
As for me... I lost my dignity, my self-esteem, my confidence, my ability to function.. I almost lost my home and my job too, thanks to him and his slut. She knew from the word go that he was married... so was she.. I shall never forget the pain and torment they put us all through. The bare-faced lies he told. The lies he told her too... anyway.
(Deep breath)
That's in the past now. I can't undo what's done, he's married her and now she's having his baby (something he said he never wanted ) and I take solace in the knowledge that he will have a newborn baby to contend with at the age of 40! (muahhahhhahhhahhha )
I HAVE moved on, but even so, reading an account which condones their behaviour (albeit by proxy if you like) just had my stomach churning and my heart in bits ... I thought perhaps this wasn't the place I had first imagined... and then I realised that it was.. and that I was just having a particularly sh*tty day (period started last night, tired, feeling less than my best...etc etc etc)
So, suitably pee-ed off.. . I write a snotty comment to the thread, an honest one mind you.. that's how I am.. honest... it's both a strength and a weakness... and I get the obligatory equally snotty reply and for some reason (perhaps the feisty stubborn aspect of my personality ) I am so offended that I just don't want to go there again..
So, time passes, messages are exhanged, I shed some more tears over my ex and realise that I just feel so crap it's probably best to see if I can actually do something constructive with my time - (NO - not work! don't be daft!!! - nor um, housework! ) so ... I read other threads and offer a few crumbs of wisdom (sorry about foodie words!)and encouragement to others.. and I feel better almost instantly!
I try to push what I have read and said to the back of my mind and realise it is already the middle of the day and that I have done no work at all! (I have a meeting to prepare for this evening and haven't done the minutes yet nor the agenda! But I'm SO not in the mood for it! ) So I decide to go and have another wee and another pint of water right after too!
Feeling a bit better I decide to continue scouring the threads... for other subjects... it's not long before I'm totally engrossed and putting thoughts of "he-who-shall-not-ever-be-obeyed-and-most-certainly-never-was" behind me... and I'm into the diet mode all over again! (I like being there.. it's a safe haven.. you know? ) Nothing else to think about but succeeding and all the benefits of doing so!
Before I realise it it's time to go to work! I panic (only a tad ) and rush upstairs and hurriedly get changed into serious-working mode clothes and shove on some socks and my boots and throw everything in my bag, kiss my Zoe cheerio, grab my keys, stop for a second to consider whether I need the loo again or not ... decide it's probably a good idea as I've drunk so much water ...and , suitably cleansed , I pull on my coat and head for the door!
It's already getting near to dusk and I admire the glorious pink sunset as it peers through the fluffy strips of cloud - it looks a bit like candy-floss - or am I imagining things
As I drive out of the estate (lots of windy roads) I am smiling to myself and can't help but notice some blokes having a gawp! Now, I can choose to think one of 2 ways...
1) they are staring in awe of such a dazzling smiling beauty -
OR
2) they are staring because I am grinning inanely and they are watching for the flashing blues to follow me!!
Either way, I smile back and laugh ... not a hysterical kind of hyena effort ... just a chuckle! I flick on the radio and me and my rusty little fiesta head for the hills! (well, not actually hills...um.. we don't have that many of those here... but you get my drift ) I sing along to something-or-other... no idea what now.. but it must have been 70's, or 80's as I'm rubbish at anything much later than that!
Arriving at work and I unlock, flick on all the lights and start to prepare for the meeting... there are notes all over my desk.. there has obviously been an unusual amount of visitors today! Shame I missed them eh! LOL
I check the emails, print out the agendas, minutes of another meeting that we need to discuss this evening, some policy documents, reply to some of the emails, open the post and then pretend I haven't because I can look at that tomorrow instead!
I try to get all the copies laid out and dig out the policy document I was working on and decipher my scribbles into something at least partially legible... it's not very exciting.. just financial stuff, but it's important...
The first of the fianance group arrives - it's the chairman.. he's a nice man. (no, he doesn't work for the AA! ) Very kind. I'm great mates with his daughter. (oh, I forgot... she texted me asking me what I'm doing Friday and do I want to go to the local wine bar!? Well, I check my diary (yeah right! ) lol and I text back that I'd love to but I'm not eating and will only be drinking water so would she like me to pick her up so she can have a drink She's well chuffed and we agree that I'll get her at 8 and we'll hope they've got some live music on when we get there!
Anyway... the other 2 who are going to attend the meeting arrive and we make a start.. it was a pretty good meeting actually - I'm well chuffed because at the end of it I have finally got to grips with some of the more complimicated aspects of the finances and feel encouraged that it will all become clear as mud as time goes by!
We wrap up the meeting and I head for home.. phone (mobile) goes off again.. it's a text... from him! Mr Friday 13th man... (ok, his name is actually Steve and on my phone I have his number listed now as "Shi*ty Steve" ... tee hee hee) and I wonder what on earth he wants! I open the text and I laugh out loud... it's ALMOST an apology but what he actually wants to know is if I will still sell my car to his son! I decide to think about it, but have to laugh... what a nerve... I send him a reply when I pull up on the drive... "I'll let you know" ... let him stew!
I'll find out what the book value is for the car then add a bit (well, y'know, emotional damages, *snigger), pile on the guilt a tad and screw him (figuratively speaking! ) for my old rust bucket!
Home again, and time to come on here... phone rings.. it's my sister... she gives me a website to check out and it's our flight details!!!! IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING!! We are going to Tobago for 3 weeks next summer!!!!!
So chuffed! I quickly (who am I kidding!!) log on here to start my diary for the day.. and.. well... you KNOW how it is... I get sidetracked... and with the best will in the world.. I just start posting messages all over the place! willy nilly! (who WAS Willy Nilly *mental note to find out)..
I suddenly remember that I have a bar to eat and I put my peanut one in the freezer last night.. well WOWOWOWOW it is delish!! OH MY GOODNESS! YUMMMMMMMMMY!! I am definitely going to have more of these!! It was so good!!! (almost had a flamin' orgasm!!! ) I down a couple of pints of water with it and can't believe how good it tasted! (the peanut bar, NOT the water!)
I'm not in the least bit hungry and feel great!
So... I do as I have done for the last 5 days... start to type my diary.... meanwhile (back at the ranch ) I've posted some photos in a gallery on here so you can see my lovely girls - and I've plucked up the courage to show you some of me too!!! It's hard as
a) I don't have many, in fact, I think there were only 3 taken of me the entire fortnight I was on holiday with my mother in the summer!! (will explain why I go away with her another time... geez...it's gone 3 again!!!)...
b) I hate how I look in photos
and
c) my girls and pets are FAR nicer to look at!
So.. 3.10am and Day 6 is over! Despite being tired.. I feel reeaaallly good! xxx
Day 6 ....
Having stayed up until the ridiculously late (early?) 3.30am! I, not surprisingly, overslept and didn't wake up until half past 9!! So... I did the honourable thing... rang in sick
Now DON'T tell me you have NEVER done that!! (what, never!! - ooh er! ) well, I do have tummy ache.. you know.. "women's trouble" LOLOLOL Went into daughters room to find she'd done the same (not surprising really as I was supposed to give her a lift at 8am!)
.. so I did what every good mother does... I woke her up to tell her! LOL She groaned, rolled over and mumbled something along the lines of "oh well... I'll call in sick.. can't go in now...". Now - herein lies a dilemma... I know I should have said, "no no... get up... go in ... better late" ... but you know what... I didn't have the energy to do it ! I just thought.. sod it... let her sleep! (Bad mother points I know, I know... ) Told her to ring in to college and that she could skip today but only coz I felt so pants too! I strolled into the bathroom, (only just avoiding the latest shards of bone that the dog so thoughtfully leaves on every blessed threshold in the house!
) had my morning constitutional (I'm definitely going to call Anglian Water and ask for a reduction in my bill as I doing more than my fair share of supplying for recycling !!) Hands washed, teeth brushed and on my way out.. a brief glimpse of my reflection merely confirms that I was up obscenely late last night!!! Back in my room and I slump onto the bed and assess the situation... it's a Monday morning
, I look like crap , feel only marginally better , and have overslept and just can't be asked to do anything! I'm so tempted to slip back under the duvet but I can tell it's daylight outside and I dunno, perhaps it dates back to all those camping trips , BUT, I can't go back to bed (at least, not alone ) so I decide to get dressed and come downstairs...My eyes do the "mother's scan" of the living room on my way through to the kitchen.. you know the one... looking for bits of kitkat wrapper
, empty yoghurt pots given to the dog and either in shreds or upside down halfway under the sofa... the lap tray with ketchup encrusted plate and cutlery on where she (daughter) ate whilst watching telly late last night, and then put it on the floor so she could get comfy on't sofa again and then nimbly steps over the tray on her way up to bed... my radar homes in on the salt pot standing idly on the coffee table .. and the ripped up Dominoes box peeking out from behind the cushion... "bless her" I think.. "she didn't want me to feel tempted so hid it.." .. ok, no, I didn't..."lazy mare! Could've put her rubbish in the bin" is more like it!! I do what all of us mothers do best! I played the martyr!
I huffed and puffed and sighed my way 'round picking up and clearing up... then into the kitchen and I'm quite pleased that it is still fairly tidy - mind you... there's only Zoe making any real mess! Somehow though, I don't really mind picking up after her and tidying up a bit. Then I came in here to my study and logged on.. and basically, this is where I stayed for the rest of the day... give or take the odd (well, dozens) of trips to the loo and my muffin making for breakfast and lunch
I must confess, I felt very sorry for myself this morning and shed a few tears..
not really about Fri 13th man, but I guess, about the fact that it brought back to the surface emotions of when my second husband left 2 weeks before Christmas in 2004. I was looking through the threads on here and came across one which really upset me, so much so that I can't really face going back to it again.
I sat here in floods of tears remembering the distress of discovering his affair. The sheer physical and emotional pain of when he used to lie to me,and, even when I confronted him, he lied, and lied, and lied. He put me through hell. Made love to me one day and was as cold as ice the next. (still can't understand how he could be so heartless). Suicide was truly becoming more and more appealing as the deception continued relentless- he was very manipulative and cruel. He used my girls and our friends in his mind games, everyone was oblivious.. I knew.. inside... but everyone told me I was wrong ...that my paranoia would drive him away ... he'd never do that to me... but he did.. and my whole world collapsed around me. My precious girls, who had already lost one father in a terrible accident, now had lost another, but this time it was his choice. Their pain was horrendous and so deep. Sarah told him that she felt she had lost her father all over again - he had been their stepdad for 12 years...
Zoe just runed inside her shell and shut the world out. The girls just reacted as you might expect... became withdrawn, surly,angry, depressed,... schoolwork started to go downhill rapidly.. As for me... I lost my dignity, my self-esteem, my confidence, my ability to function.. I almost lost my home and my job too, thanks to him and his slut. She knew from the word go that he was married... so was she.. I shall never forget the pain and torment they put us all through.
The bare-faced lies he told. The lies he told her too... anyway. (Deep breath)
That's in the past now.
I can't undo what's done, he's married her and now she's having his baby (something he said he never wanted ) and I take solace in the knowledge that he will have a newborn baby to contend with at the age of 40! (muahhahhhahhhahhha ) I HAVE moved on, but even so, reading an account which condones their behaviour (albeit by proxy if you like) just had my stomach churning and my heart in bits
... I thought perhaps this wasn't the place I had first imagined... and then I realised that it was.. and that I was just having a particularly sh*tty day (period started last night, tired, feeling less than my best...etc etc etc) So, suitably pee-ed off..
. I write a snotty comment to the thread, an honest one mind you.. that's how I am.. honest... it's both a strength and a weakness... and I get the obligatory equally snotty reply and for some reason (perhaps the feisty stubborn aspect of my personality ) I am so offended that I just don't want to go there again.. So, time passes, messages are exhanged, I shed some more tears over my ex
and realise that I just feel so crap it's probably best to see if I can actually do something constructive with my time - (NO - not work! don't be daft!!! - nor um, housework! ) so ... I read other threads and offer a few crumbs of wisdom (sorry about foodie words!)and encouragement to others.. and I feel better almost instantly! I try to push what I have read and said to the back of my mind
and realise it is already the middle of the day and that I have done no work at all! (I have a meeting to prepare for this evening and haven't done the minutes yet nor the agenda! But I'm SO not in the mood for it! ) So I decide to go and have another wee and another pint of water right after too! Feeling a bit better
I decide to continue scouring the threads... for other subjects... it's not long before I'm totally engrossed and putting thoughts of "he-who-shall-not-ever-be-obeyed-and-most-certainly-never-was" behind me... and I'm into the diet mode all over again! (I like being there.. it's a safe haven.. you know? ) Nothing else to think about but succeeding and all the benefits of doing so! Before I realise it it's time to go to work!
I panic (only a tad ) and rush upstairs and hurriedly get changed into serious-working mode clothes and shove on some socks and my boots and throw everything in my bag, kiss my Zoe cheerio, grab my keys, stop for a second to consider whether I need the loo again or not ... decide it's probably a good idea as I've drunk so much water ...and , suitably cleansed , I pull on my coat and head for the door! It's already getting near to dusk and I admire the glorious pink sunset as it peers through the fluffy strips of cloud - it looks a bit like candy-floss - or am I imagining things
As I drive out of the estate (lots of windy roads) I am smiling to myself and can't help but notice some blokes having a gawp!
Now, I can choose to think one of 2 ways... 1) they are staring in awe of such a dazzling smiling beauty -
OR
2) they are staring because I am grinning inanely and they are watching for the flashing blues to follow me!!
Either way, I smile back and laugh
... not a hysterical kind of hyena effort ... just a chuckle! I flick on the radio and me and my rusty little fiesta head for the hills! (well, not actually hills...um.. we don't have that many of those here... but you get my drift ) I sing along to something-or-other... no idea what now.. but it must have been 70's, or 80's as I'm rubbish at anything much later than that! Arriving at work and I unlock, flick on all the lights and start to prepare for the meeting... there are notes all over my desk..
there has obviously been an unusual amount of visitors today! Shame I missed them eh! LOL I check the emails, print out the agendas, minutes of another meeting that we need to discuss this evening, some policy documents, reply to some of the emails, open the post and then pretend I haven't because I can look at that tomorrow instead!
I try to get all the copies laid out and dig out the policy document I was working on and decipher my scribbles
into something at least partially legible... it's not very exciting.. just financial stuff, but it's important... The first of the fianance group arrives - it's the chairman.. he's a nice man. (no, he doesn't work for the AA!
) Very kind. I'm great mates with his daughter. (oh, I forgot... she texted me asking me what I'm doing Friday and do I want to go to the local wine bar!? Well, I check my diary (yeah right! ) lol and I text back that I'd love to but I'm not eating and will only be drinking water so would she like me to pick her up so she can have a drink She's well chuffed and we agree that I'll get her at 8 and we'll hope they've got some live music on when we get there! Anyway... the other 2 who are going to attend the meeting arrive and we make a start.. it was a pretty good meeting actually - I'm well chuffed because at the end of it I have finally got to grips with some of the more complimicated
aspects of the finances and feel encouraged that it will all become clear as mud as time goes by! We wrap up the meeting and I head for home.. phone (mobile) goes off again.. it's a text... from him! Mr Friday 13th man...
(ok, his name is actually Steve and on my phone I have his number listed now as "Shi*ty Steve" ... tee hee hee) and I wonder what on earth he wants! I open the text and I laugh out loud... it's ALMOST an apology but what he actually wants to know is if I will still sell my car to his son! I decide to think about it, but have to laugh... what a nerve... I send him a reply when I pull up on the drive... "I'll let you know" ... let him stew! I'll find out what the book value is for the car then add a bit (well, y'know, emotional damages, *snigger), pile on the guilt a tad and screw him (figuratively speaking!
) for my old rust bucket! Home again, and time to come on here... phone rings.. it's my sister... she gives me a website to check out and it's our flight details!!!! IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING!! We are going to Tobago for 3 weeks next summer!!!!!
So chuffed!
I quickly (who am I kidding!!) log on here to start my diary for the day.. and.. well... you KNOW how it is... I get sidetracked... and with the best will in the world.. I just start posting messages all over the place! willy nilly! (who WAS Willy Nilly *mental note to find out)..I suddenly remember that I have a bar to eat
and I put my peanut one in the freezer last night.. well WOWOWOWOW it is delish!! OH MY GOODNESS! YUMMMMMMMMMY!! I am definitely going to have more of these!! It was so good!!! (almost had a flamin' orgasm!!! ) I down a couple of pints of water with it and can't believe how good it tasted! (the peanut bar, NOT the water!)I'm not in the least bit hungry and feel great!
So... I do as I have done for the last 5 days... start to type my diary.... meanwhile (back at the ranch
) I've posted some photos in a gallery on here so you can see my lovely girls - and I've plucked up the courage to show you some of me too!!! It's hard as a) I don't have many, in fact, I think there were only 3 taken of me the entire fortnight I was on holiday with my mother in the summer!! (will explain why I go away with her another time... geez...it's gone 3 again!!!)...
b) I hate how I look in photos
and
c) my girls and pets are FAR nicer to look at!
So.. 3.10am and Day 6 is over! Despite being tired.. I feel reeaaallly good! xxx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
It's already Day 7!
Weigh in night tonight..!!
I have lots to deal with today...
Work ('til 12)
2pm appointment with the nurse to check my BP (long story - gess whizz, I don't think I have any short ones! )and weight (they want to monitor it too - which is fine with me, can't wait to see her face! Lol)...
2.30pm I'm calling Tony at the car dealership... he had BETTER have some good news for me this time!
3pm appointment at the dentist for a filling!!!!! NOT looking forward to that AT ALL!!!!
5pm... CDC time!!! First weigh in!! Can't wait to find out how I've really done! (I'm not going to take notice of the nurse's scales as they will differ for a start and I haven't stepped on them for a fortnight, AND... I pigged out mega-big style before starting .. won't list my feast here,.. but if I tell you that here we are, a week later, and Zoe still hasn't eaten everything I planned to polish off that night!!!!
So, it really is time to get some kip (about 4 hours) and then face Day 7 head on and with 'tude!
Night night my fellow weight loss champions! xxxxx
Weigh in night tonight..!!
I have lots to deal with today...
Work ('til 12)
2pm appointment with the nurse to check my BP (long story - gess whizz, I don't think I have any short ones!
)and weight (they want to monitor it too - which is fine with me, can't wait to see her face! Lol)...2.30pm I'm calling Tony at the car dealership... he had BETTER have some good news for me this time!
3pm appointment at the dentist for a filling!!!!! NOT looking forward to that AT ALL!!!!
5pm... CDC time!!! First weigh in!! Can't wait to find out how I've really done! (I'm not going to take notice of the nurse's scales as they will differ for a start and I haven't stepped on them for a fortnight, AND... I pigged out mega-big style before starting
.. won't list my feast here,.. but if I tell you that here we are, a week later, and Zoe still hasn't eaten everything I planned to polish off that night!!!! So, it really is time to get some kip (about 4 hours) and then face Day 7 head on and with 'tude!
Night night my fellow weight loss champions! xxxxx
happygal
Banned
Suicide was truly becoming more and more appealing as the deception continued relentless- he was very manipulative and cruel. He used my girls and our friends in his mind games, everyone was oblivious.. I knew.. inside... but everyone told me I was wrong
The dirty toe rag isnt worth that. Besides...That would only mean that there was one less wonderful, remarkable and inspiring person in the world but there would still be the same amount of dirty toe rags!!
5pm... CDC time!!! First weigh in!! Can't wait to find out how I've really done! (I'm not going to take notice of the nurse's scales as they will differ for a start and I haven't stepped on them for a fortnight, AND... I pigged out mega-big style before starting
I have yet to meet anyone on CD that didnt have a polish off night. I had mine but I made it so that it was full of high protein non carb stuff to help me get into ketosis. It just happens to be all the nice bad stuff like cheese and bacon. mmmm Oh enough already!!! Im not going down the fantasy world of food. Its put enough weight on me already!
Hope tonight goes well. Im sure it will because you are an absolute star!!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Hiya Claire
Bless you for those lovely comments x
It was a bad phase in my life but it is firmly in the past so I don't tend to re-visit it too often and I think yesterday it was just a combination of TOTM (doh! I ONLY just realised that is the accepted terminology for it ), tiredness (self-inflicted I know!) and the recent love-rat episode, which, when mixed together with the thread... well it was a bit like putting magnesium in water (I DO hope I've remember my chemistry correctly! ).. and there was a massive uncontrollable reaction!
So.. today is a whole new day and her I am... drinking my usual tipple! Addicted to the site... and dreading this afternoon but not this evening!
Thanks for your lovely words though, made me smile.
Bless you for those lovely comments
xIt was a bad phase in my life but it is firmly in the past so I don't tend to re-visit it too often and I think yesterday it was just a combination of TOTM (doh! I ONLY just realised that is the accepted terminology for it
), tiredness (self-inflicted I know!) and the recent love-rat episode, which, when mixed together with the thread... well it was a bit like putting magnesium in water (I DO hope I've remember my chemistry correctly! ).. and there was a massive uncontrollable reaction! So.. today is a whole new day and her I am... drinking my usual tipple! Addicted to the site... and dreading this afternoon
but not this evening! Thanks for your lovely words though, made me smile.
happygal
Banned
Today is indeed a new day!! And it is a glorious day that will be capped off by your weigh in tonight. The usual tipple I would guess is water. Has your bladder got used to that yet? Mine hasnt but then its only day 2 for me.
Jennie Wrote
Addicted to the site... and dreading this afternoon
I know what you mean about being addicted to this site!! I have the same addiction problem. (Although its not as bad as my previous addiction which was food and it made me unhappy and sad)
Why are you dreading this afternoon? Is it the nurses appointment ?
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Dreading this afternoon coz it's a filling at the dentist and I'm NOT good with needles and pain in general! lol
and I'm NOT good with needles and pain in general! lol
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Not a happy bunny - just sat and did my diary entry up to now and puter gave blues screen of death! Going off now to start the rounds of Nurse... Dentist and then CDC for my very 1st weigh in!!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
MY FIRST WEIGH IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm here... I'm here
Not home long - had to stop off on the way home... so....
I LOST 13.4lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm here... I'm here
Not home long - had to stop off on the way home... so....
I LOST 13.4lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
OH MY GOODNESS - I want to bottle this feeling and take a swig of it every day to keep me going!!!
Thank you both,... I can't tell you how fantastic I feel!!
Will write diary tomorrow.. can't get me head 'round this! lolololol wooooohooooooooooo
AND.... yes, I know it's only going to be this fab once and to expect subsequent losses to be very different , but hey, I'm celebrating!
