Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

:vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
there you go hun, a whole heap of possitive vibes a comin your way.
saving the hugs for the weekend !!!!!!
xx:)
 
Hope today has been easier than you feared.

keep at it .
 
Well, it's 9.15pm and I've managed the whole day 100% SS and am damn proud of myself!

It's been flipping hard and I have the urge to eat but, no food in house (apart from cornflakes, couscous and pasta etc and a freezer with chicken in it) so no real tempting stuff!

Just had my 3rd pack (choc mint muffin) and pint of appleade so am off to have a shower then bed and hopefully a good nights sleep.

Took the dog for a really long walk and knackered him out too so hopefully he won't wake me early (he didn't this morning).

No call from S so far so will send my normal goodnight message when I turn in and then call him tomorrow evening I suppose.

Went to a charity shop and got a lovely skirt and a rugby shirt this afternoon all for £6 and a book too! Well chuffed. All the washing is done now apart from some hand washing and I still have to put away the clothes not worn on hols... will save that job for tomorrow evening.

Dropping car off in the morning for its first service, then work, then possibly meeting my mate Penny for lunch (well, diet coke for me, food for her). Then afternoon mooching around the house keeping busy I suppose and the same for the evening. Dog will get another long walk (weather permitting).

My school friend D rang this afternoon and we had a lovely long chat, it's been ages since we did that and I'm so pleased we did.

Sis rang and I told her I'm not going to Tobago for Feb next year - it's too big a financial committment and although I would love to go, I think it wise to not commit myself to doing so now. Perhaps when my financial situation changes, but then, I may want to go somewhere else... like a Gullet holiday in Turkey, or a sailing holiday in Croatia., or a mission trip to India with the church.. or anything!

Just don't think it wise to rush into any decisions whilst in post-holiday glow.. lol

Today was terribly slow going and tough to SS but it's done and so, tomorrow should be easier... and so on... thanks for the support you guys xxx
 
Well, it's 9.15pm and I've managed the whole day 100% SS and am damn proud of myself!
Well i can add to that. I'm damn proud of you too
No call from S so far so will send my normal goodnight message when I turn in and then call him tomorrow evening I suppose.
Funny chap. I seem to remember he pulled back from the brink a couple of months ago just as things were hotting up.
Is he afraid of involvement?
Went to a charity shop and got a lovely skirt and a rugby shirt this afternoon all for £6 and a book too! Well chuffed. All the washing is done now apart from some hand washing and I still have to put away the clothes not worn on hols... will save that job for tomorrow evening.
I love charity shops, & now I'm smaller there'll be lots of posh stuff for me to choose from.not going to bothe now cos 1) still shrinking (well supposed to be) &2) what use summer clothes.......but come the autumn...Ha Ha
Sis rang and I told her I'm not going to Tobago for Feb next year - it's too big a financial committment and although I would love to go, I think it wise to not commit myself to doing so now. Perhaps when my financial situation changes, but then, I may want to go somewhere else... like a Gullet holiday in Turkey, or a sailing holiday in Croatia., or a mission trip to India with the church.. or anything!
I think you've made a good decision.
What on earth is a GULLET holiday is this a vacation where you have a feeding tube placed directly into your stomach so you can rest your Oesophagus?

Just don't think it wise to rush into any decisions whilst in post-holiday glow.. lol Quite.

Today was terribly slow going and tough to SS but it's done and so, tomorrow should be easier... and so on... thanks for the support you guys xxx
Of course tomorrow will be easier. & the next day & so on til in a week or so you'll wonder why you ever found it hard at all.

sleep well.
 
Glad to hear you've had a good day Jennie, your on a roll now, there'll be no stopping ya:p
 
I'm very proud of you too, but I'm currently far too drunk to express this properly. I'll log back on in the morning and see if I can type better lol!
 
Well, it's 9.15pm and I've managed the whole day 100% SS and am damn proud of myself!
Well i can add to that. I'm damn proud of you too
No call from S so far so will send my normal goodnight message when I turn in and then call him tomorrow evening I suppose.
Funny chap. I seem to remember he pulled back from the brink a couple of months ago just as things were hotting up.
Is he afraid of involvement?
Went to a charity shop and got a lovely skirt and a rugby shirt this afternoon all for £6 and a book too! Well chuffed. All the washing is done now apart from some hand washing and I still have to put away the clothes not worn on hols... will save that job for tomorrow evening.
I love charity shops, & now I'm smaller there'll be lots of posh stuff for me to choose from.not going to bothe now cos 1) still shrinking (well supposed to be) &2) what use summer clothes.......but come the autumn...Ha Ha
Sis rang and I told her I'm not going to Tobago for Feb next year - it's too big a financial committment and although I would love to go, I think it wise to not commit myself to doing so now. Perhaps when my financial situation changes, but then, I may want to go somewhere else... like a Gullet holiday in Turkey, or a sailing holiday in Croatia., or a mission trip to India with the church.. or anything!
I think you've made a good decision.
What on earth is a GULLET holiday is this a vacation where you have a feeding tube placed directly into your stomach so you can rest your Oesophagus?

Just don't think it wise to rush into any decisions whilst in post-holiday glow.. lol Quite.

Today was terribly slow going and tough to SS but it's done and so, tomorrow should be easier... and so on... thanks for the support you guys xxx

Of course tomorrow will be easier. & the next day & so on til in a week or so you'll wonder why you ever found it hard at all.

sleep well.
 
Hmm, not sure what's occurring, had to refresh the page and log back in! Anyway - THIS is what I was trying to write!!! LOL

No call from S so far so will send my normal goodnight message when I turn in and then call him tomorrow evening I suppose.
Funny chap. I seem to remember he pulled back from the brink a couple of months ago just as things were hotting up.
Is he afraid of involvement?
No idea- will hopefully find out tonight!

I love charity shops, & now I'm smaller there'll be lots of posh stuff for me to choose from.not going to bothe now cos 1) still shrinking (well supposed to be) &2) what use summer clothes.......but come the autumn...Ha Ha

ha ha - I loved looking around them and then trying on the stuff... think I may have found my niche for clothing! lol Not getting any more (yeah right) til in 14 jeans... hmm... not sure though.. there are SO many charity shops to choose from! lol

I think you've made a good decision. thanks - me too, and I did ring sis and told her I would take my chances and if my finances allow then I can always try nearer the time, but you know, I was looking at activity hols doing sailing and diving and they are looking dead interesting.. but again, no booking of anything at the moment. If I get a new job then I shall book myself on something for the winter for a couple of weeks of sunshine...

What on earth is a GULLET holiday is this a vacation where you have a feeding tube placed directly into your stomach so you can rest your Oesophagus?

LMAO Nope.. it's pronounced 'goo-let' (I think) and is a kind of boat. You basically have 5 or 6 others and a crew of 3 and sod off around the med (or wherever) and although expensive, it would be bliss as you get to snorkel, windsurf, swim, dive etc ....

Of course tomorrow will be easier. & the next day & so on til in a week or so you'll wonder why you ever found it hard at all.

I do hope you are right on this - will keep you posted! (although confess to scale hopping and they say good things so far! the holiday blip gone and another 3 too! can it really go so fast already? best wait 'til Monday and let Ailsa's scales do the confirming but am secretly getting excited at the prospect of being less than 13 stone for the first time in my living memory (other than as a child on the way up I guess, but never recorded!).

sleep well.

oh I did! I went to bed at 11pm in the end as my mate Lynda rang me and we nattered for over an hour! I fell asleep with Paul McKenna waffling in my ears about relaxing and confidence and counting down from 300 (no idea what else he said!) Woke up at 6.30 and let the dog out and after updating on here I'm off for a shower and to get ready to drop car off at dealers for its first service!

S didn't call last night but my sis was on my mobile for ages so I dropped him a chatty text and he wrote back that he'd had yet another exhausting day and could we catch up today and he will explain what's happened. He also said he hoped I was ok (perhaps he realised that the lack of texts - I normally would text every couple/3 hours - is indicative perhaps of a drop of interest?). So, I said it was no probs, told him to go to bed and sleep well and then very boldy suggested I pick him up at 8 this evening and we either go for a meal or a drink (his choice - and I can have a salad) and can have a good chat and he can have a couple of beers and unwind. So, today when he gets it (I'm pretty sure he will have fallen asleep before I replied as I don't reply right away any more to him, I carry on doing whatever I am doing... lol.. now THERE'S a difference too! lol), I shall hopefully know what to do this evening, and, at least I have taken the initiative to make firm plans as I hate all this limbo business.

I'm sure that something pretty bad has kicked off but until we meet/speak I am guessing.

So... off now to prepare for the day!

Don't worry - if he plumps for the meal I know exactly what I can have to stick to AAM levels very carefully and will SS all day too so know that it won't damage things. It won't be a slippery slope effect, I know that. I also know (from holiday and Dublin) that I can and do control my food intake (although admit that the drunken chicken shish kebab episode was exceptional! - will tell all later!)! :rotflmao:
 


I .....very boldy suggested I pick him up at 8 this evening and we either go for a meal or a drink..... now THERE'S a difference too! lol), I shall hopefully know what to do this evening, and, at least I have taken the initiative to make firm plans as I hate all this limbo business.
Excellent.Take the initiative. Get it sorted.
 
Good morning (again)

Thanks Jane - I do need to sort it, one way or another. If it's mates then fine, and to be frank (poor Frank) I think that's all I want now too. (Blimey - never thought I'd say that!!)

Hmm, perhaps this holiday flicked some kinda switch in my head!!!

SSing ok so far this morning - only 10.25am though, lol

Had text from S to say that this evening 'might be difficult' FFS! lol (Pretty much expected that though as it made it sound like a 'date' LOL) However, he did suggest lunch and we have agreed that I shall call him when I get the car back and we will firm things then. So, lunchtime it is. Cards on table time (I hope) no more messing around. Will find out what's been going on and also where I stand (although I know really, lol, I may be useless with men, but I'm not thick!) and whether we are still on for the Genesis thing, but to be honest, am not fussed about that so much now either. lol c'est la vie eh?? lol (gotta love the after -effects of the Caribbean!!) lolololol

This way at least I shall have this evening free to do festival stuff and also pack for the weekend and do my hand washing (linen trousers need washing as I want to wear them Saturday evening!)... plus bra and a couple of other bits.. plus potter around the house more and unpack (lol, bedroom has 2 cases on the floor and living room has one too!).

Need to decide what to take to Bournemouth... fingers crossed I can get a dog sitter for tomorrow night too, that way I can go in the afternoon and make a real weekend of it and I so want to as it will mean a lush time with the girls!

Just had an argument with my Sarah about not going down to see her, so, will HAVE to go down there soon too, might book dog in kennels and sod off down there in August... when IS the Plymouth meet? lol (although that's a fair way from Falmouth, it would be great to see everyone!).

Right, am at work, and, actually doing some too! (don't faint)... so must get off here and carry on... here's hoping for another good SS / AAM (salad lunch) day!

The best thing about today is that I a) feel fabulous b) am feeling really strong emotionally and c) WILL resolve things with S to MY satisfaction! lol (ooh, get me!!) lol lol

Will let you know!! Then you can sigh with relief and think 'thank goodness, now she'll shut tfu about him! ' LMAO

Toodle pip!

xxxx
 
just a quickie - am meeting S at 12.30 so, all those who have faith, pray to your God that all goes well. Having just spoken to him on the phone I think it will and that we will have a pleasant lunchtime

off to the bank now - banking cheques for work! (good excuse to duck out of work early ;) )
 
Well done on getting back into SS'ing so quickly and I'm loving your laid-back Caribbean way of thinking!! :cool:

I hope you have a great lunch with S - and just wanted to say how GREAT you looked when I saw you at the weekend! You really do look more amazing every time I see you. Oh, and please bear in mind what I suggested you might like to think about for later this year will you? ;)

I've done 2 gulet trips by the way - and I'd recommend them to anyone! They're fab!! :D

Love
 
Hiya

Hope you're lunch went well with S and you have some sort of decision, glad you're relaxed about it though, so hope it goes the way you want it to.

Well done on your day of SSing (I'm proud too :D) it's so hard to get back into after a long break, so you've done really well, you're such a determined lady and I'm just so pleased that your holiday hasn't heralded the end of your diet - you continue to be a shining star :)

Take care

xxx
 
Well, lunch lasted from 12.30pm to 3.30pm ... lol...

I had an absolutely wonderful lunch, serious to start with and then full of laughter and great chat about our hols and all kicked off in the car park with a big hug and a kiss (not a snog). He does have MAJOR family problems to deal with so I can now fully understand the silence and distant treatment.

That said, he had not reached a decision so I did, lol, and told him that he was being very unfair on me and that he had made me a promise before I went away, and he had already had well over a month to 'sort his head out', so we would have to be friends and that's that.

I think he was a bit shocked but it was ok(ish). We did agree that there is something more than friendship between us but that we have no idea what it is and we'll just see how things go as mates.

I also told him I won't put my life on hold for him and although I won't go back on the dating site and will not be actively looking to meet anyone, if I do I do, and I won't put my life on hold for him either. lol (Flipping surprised myself when that came out!) lol

Then we ate. Lol Yummy nosh, nothing too bad so not worried about that at all and will have a muffin later and that will be my lot for today.

He said he was glad I wanted him as a friend and we talked about all sorts of other stuff too. He kept telling me how fantastic I looked, lol, which was really funny, but very nice too. I still fancy him and all the feelings I had when I saw him last were still there BUT I am happy with being mates.

Genesis is off, he's not going at all now, he has to go back to Essex and deal with the family problem.

I can't say more about it apart from that it is genuine and it is major.

I'm happy about the outcome of today though and am trying to sort out dog care for tomorrow night so I can go to Bournemouth for the whole weekend, if not I shall be there first thing Saturday.

I've booked the dog into the kennels for August Bank Holiday Sunday and Monday so I can go to Notting Hill with my sister.

Also got someone to dog sit the weekend before so I can go to see my Sarah down in Falmouth, need to call her and sort that out so she should be happy about that too.
 
Jen I'm really pleased and proud of you for making the decision that needed to be made, you can't wait around for him forever and I'm glad you've decided that for yourself - it's great you can stay mates and I hope that works for you and you don't find it too difficult, but you definately sound like a different Jen than the one who went away on hols in bits over S and what was happening. Good on yer for taking action and having a lovely lunch too.

xxxx
 
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