BORING!!

[natayou]

hello, a cd-er here jumping on the thread
just wanted to add that I feel the same way about claiming my success, I guess I am worried that people will think I am being big headed?
I find it really hard to do, for example I have lost 9 st 5 lb in 21 weeks, but even typing it out like that makes me feel that people will think I am boasting........
why do I feel like that ?
or I think that I will make people who are struggling feel even worse, would love to hear opinions on how people feel about this issue?
sarah your blog has been very inspiring reading for me!!
nat xx

 

[Mrs Pink]

Hi Nat - No it's not big-headed, it's just you stating the facts! And it is fantastically encouraging and inspiring to hear of your losses - and all of the others on here who have achieved losses of 5st plus... it makes the rest of us who have a lot to lose think "Well if they can do it I must be able to do it too!" Thanxxx to all of you CD champs!
Mrs P

 

[silhouettes]

I agree, its really inspiring, and encouraging to hear that people are doing well, especially if we are having one of those days where it seems hard.
Congratulations to all those who have lost weight and are doing well.

 

[Mrs Lard]

Hello Nat

I agree with the others - a phenomenal weight loss like that deserves to be shared. And for those people with a lot of weight to lose - particularly in Development - it's massively helpful and inspirational. One woman in my group has lost half her body weight - she IS a fantastic reminder of what can be achieved when you put your mind to it.

Why do you feel as if you are boasting? (I can understand why you may believe that but, funnily enough, an awesome weight loss like yours can ONLY be seen as inspirational because all of us will know just how hard you have worked.) That takes guts (no pun intended) to see something through like that and minimins is the one place where you will get lots of encouragement without any agendas. Maybe friends/family have made you feel uncomfortable about your weight loss? We don't celebrate success in the UK as much as we should.

Anyway, be out and proud with your weight! Well done.

Take care.

Mrs L xxxxxx

 

[Barb]

I think we all cheer with glee when we hear about others losses, it is so great to know that people actually DO IT!
Folk like Helen and Nat and others are just so inspirational and I have to say never, ever boring.

Minimins is what we make it. Personally I love it, I get support, a giggle (FP did you miss the thread earlier in the week about male 'bits'?), advice and incite into other peoples life that I simply would not get anywhere else.
Ok, we are kind to each other when we slip and slide, why not? Most of us are hard enough on ourselves without anyone else joining in. We do very much celebrate those that don't slip though, we take our hats off to them and undoubtably wish we were all doing so well!

 

[Mini]

The power of Success Stories!

We do have a forum for our members to tell others about their success!

It is called Success Stories and please feel free to use it and tell your story as we all love reading about how those that are successful achieve it and we can learn from those who have gone and ahead and done it.

Here is the link for the forum

http://www.minimins.com/success-stories/

The most viewed thread on MiniMins is the Inspirational Before and After photos!

It has had 90,359 views

http://www.minimins.com/success-stories/8184-before-after-photo-thread-inspiration.html


We have also added a slide show of these photos and for the very short time it has been up it has already had over 1,252 views. You will find it on the blue bar at the top of the page or click on the link below.

http://www.minimins.com/inspiration/


This time of year is notoriously slow diet wise, as others have said, some members are off on holidays, the weather is not helping anyone and families have their children home from school so time is limited.

August I find is when things begin to get busy when Mums want to shift either a few pounds for the new school year or look forward to buying a frock for the Christmas parties and want to look good.

And of course you have members like myself who lost most of their weight over six and half stone and put some back on again:cry:

Mainly because I have not dealt with all my issues that bog me down in life and the other is that I did not shout and claim my success like I should of...not sure why, but I think it is because I still felt fat and my head had not caught up with my body...:sigh:

I did 169 days SSing and this was the Golden time and I have never managed to get it back for more than a month since and it is not for want of trying.

Just life as a way of tripping me up and being an emotional eater I resort to my drug of choice high carbs.


I know when I see someone doing well I feel so happy and exciting for each person who crosses the finish line make me feel I can do it if I stick with it, this is why I am still trying.

Everyone of you who do well are the inspiration for all of us who struggle to get there and don't you forget this!

 

[DQ]

Happy birthday Minimins, and to all of you with your successes, your hiccups, and your everyday ups and downs - please keep posting. You keep me sane (well as sane as I get :silly: ) and I wouldn't be without you for the world!! :hug99:

 

[Mini]

Is it just me chaps or has it all got a bit boring on here?

It seems as though there are fewer posts and fewer people about. The topics are getting a bit repetitive and we're all disappearing up our own rear ends! Not to mention the fact that there is a general sense of gloom about the place.

....... Constant talk of lapse and relapse and giving up etc etc etc and not much else.

Now, before someone jumps down my neck I KNOW that the forum is about providing support to those of us who are struggling but there is more to support than just listening to eachother whinge and wallow - where is the challenge?

We're supposed to be about battling a life long addiction, making radical changes to our inner and outer selves, learning who we really are.

Where are the interesting stories and insights? - not just details of what we managed to sneak or how much we put on just because we didn't stick to packs for a few days or while on holiday.

We should be working towards the point where we can manage ourselves around food and whats more we should be expecting this of ourselves and eachother not just providing sympathy when one or us 'falls off the wagon' and .......... wait for it .......... 'piles on the pounds'. Isn't that little more than enabling behaviour?

And where is the fun and the humour?!

Any ideas as to how we can get a bit of energy circulating?

Just was wondering if you could do some of your CBT that you learn in LL as back last year we had a couple of members doing this and it was very helpful and interesting.


This site is self support and we encourage our members to be proactive.

All ideas welcomed, just start a new thread and away you go.

Love Mini xxx

 

[fatpossum]

HI Chaps,

Thanks to all of those who responded to my thread and indeed it is not my intention to "undermine" anyone or sugget that someone's personal story/journey is boring.

However, I do think it is too easy for us to get stuck on the "fat girl/fat guy roundabout" - where we display a tendency to define ourselves in terms of our weight and our successes or failures in terms of managing it.

I accept the fact that for many people food is an addiction but surely this isn't an 'out' and we must strive to conquer that addiction.

Think in terms of other addictions e.g. Heroin or Alcohol.

If the Heroin addict or alcoholic falls off the wagon we don't shower them with indulgent acceptance, we express disapproval and make it clear that we expect more from them. We also expect that they will stay 'clean or sober'.

We 'fat-folk' on the otherhand almost expect our lapses and relapses and we also expect that our 'fat friends' will indulge us when we have them.

Instead, let's expect more from ourselves and eachother. Let's expect success and see failure as unacceptable. This is not to say that failing means that we are unacceptable merely that the behaviour is.

Overeating for most of us is a learned behaviour - let's expect to unlearn it and move on. Fat does not need to define who we are - we have within our control the ability to deal with it and move on.

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Whilst I am not saying that it is easier for an alcoholic or a drug user to abstain and stay on the wagon ... an alcholic never HAS to allow alcohol past their lips again and the same goes for a drug user. Whilst us "food-aholics" have to eat even when we have conquered our problem and lost our weight ... because our addiction or what made us overeat in the first place may not have been dealt with - we may relapse and put weight back on again.

 

[Mini]

I totally accept that I have a high carb food addiction!

When I fall off the waggon, I beat myself up and I feel this is part of my real problem.

I stopped smoking when I accepted my failings and seen them as part of my journey that was 9 years ago and I have not smoked since.

It is only recently that I have see my weight loss journey is taking a similar route and now I count the days that I am successful and the days that I fail are getting less and less...

As Beverly has said unlike other drugs, we need food it is essential for life, whilst other drugs are not.

I could live happily on shakes and bars...I run into trouble when food is reintroduced again.

I do feel also that the first time round is the Golden Time and those who do manage to stay on the waggon have a much better chance of success.

Also if you set realistic goals.

Instead, let's expect more from ourselves and eachother. Let's expect success and see failure as unacceptable. This is not to say that failing means that we are unacceptable merely that the behaviour is

In life I find it is horses for courses and perhaps you might like to start a thread and invite all those who would like this form of help, harsh as it is seems to me to join you.

It would be interesting experiment to see if your approach does work better than the 'soft approach'.

Look forward to see how you get on.

Love Mini xxx

 

[KD]

You wouldn't be advocating 'telling it as it is' would you fatpossom?

Dangerous teritory in forum land. Without having insight to the other persons underlying problems, without being able to see that persons body language or know whether a possible hug after the whip was sincere or insincere.

I think it sounds just great theoritacally, but in practice, it's much harder to do.

So, out of interest, imagine I've just fallen off the wagon. I'm mortified, ready to pack it all in and jump under a bus. How exactly would you we express disapproval of my fall into the biscuit tin?

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Very interesting experiment, I know that for me then VLCD was the only way I could get myself out of the pit I was in so it was head down and plough through, however some people need tough love, others need softer approaches.

Maybe a tough love thread is worth a look at FP, but remember, not everyone is thick skinned and tough, and for some a weight loss battle is just that, a massive battle, both with food and inner demons.

PS, Nat, 9st + in 21 weeks, OMG thats ace!!

 

[fatpossum]

Hey Chaps!!

I find it fascinating that my views are eliciting words like

'thick skinned' ... 'tough' ...... 'whip' (!! ) .... 'alternative to the soft approach' ...... - there is even a suggetion that I start an alternative 'Tough-approach' forum and see how it goes - Gawd!!

I am a trained therapist and worked with addicts using a number of methods for a number of years, most recently TA (which is what the LL counselling sessions are based upon).

During my TA phase the starting point for all of the alcohol addicts we worked with was that they stopped drinking. We did not expect them to attend a number of sessions and then work up to giving up but they were expected to give up before undergoing the work; the theory being that if they were under the influence of the substance they would not be sufficiently 'present' to engage fully with the process.

The process didn't involve a whip or require of them to be thick skinned. It did however recognise that they were on each occasions choosing to drink and could therefore choose to stop.

In my view the same goes for food - we choose to put each morsel in our mouths and we can choose not. Come on chaps, if we don't subscribe to that we may as well give up now!!!

In my view to expect better behaviour from a person is to indicate respect for that person. To expect that our pals on the forum won't continue to abuse their bodies by overeating is to my mind not hard, or tough or wielding a whip but saying

'I respect the fact that you have it within yourself to stop this abusive behaviour and I expect that you will'.

This is what I expect of me.

 

[KD]

Aaaah, now that makes sense

I did a message about choice yesterday. Would love your input As I never did LL (am just gatecrashing here...sorry), I am spending too much time re-inventing the wheel. Learning as I go

 

[Dom1979]

Hey Chaps!!

I find it fascinating that my views are eliciting words like

'thick skinned' ... 'tough' ...... 'whip' (!! ) .... 'alternative to the soft approach' ...... - there is even a suggetion that I start an alternative 'Tough-approach' forum and see how it goes - Gawd!!

I am a trained therapist and worked with addicts using a number of methods for a number of years, most recently TA (which is what the LL counselling sessions are based upon).

During my TA phase the starting point for all of the alcohol addicts we worked with was that they stopped drinking. We did not expect them to attend a number of sessions and then work up to giving up but they were expected to give up before undergoing the work; the theory being that if they were under the influence of the substance they would not be sufficiently 'present' to engage fully with the process.

The process didn't involve a whip or require of them to be thick skinned. It did however recognise that they were on each occasions choosing to drink and could therefore choose to stop.

In my view the same goes for food - we choose to put each morsel in our mouths and we can choose not. Come on chaps, if we don't subscribe to that we may as well give up now!!!

In my view to expect better behaviour from a person is to indicate respect for that person. To expect that our pals on the forum won't continue to abuse their bodies by overeating is to my mind not hard, or tough or wielding a whip but saying

'I respect the fact that you have it within yourself to stop this abusive behaviour and I expect that you will'.

This is what I expect of me.

I think that you make an excellent point, and I totally agree with the majority of this post. However, I was not surprised that your first post elicited the response that it did, not because of the sentiments behind it, more because of the tone of it. As Karion says, it's difficult to judge how you will be interpreted when 'speaking' on a forum.

I also found the point you made about us fat-folk 'expecting' to fall off the wagon (am wildly paraphrasing here), really interesting. If you expect failure, you're bound to fail.

It's interesting to hear your perspective on this, as I have always seen my food problems as an addiction. I also feel that food addiction is harder to overcome, as you have been 'using' it for so long that the habits become more ingrained. It's also far more socially acceptable to overeat than it is to inject heroin or get so drunk that you are sick. Also, it's very rare for your parents/friends/work colleagues to encourage you to abuse drugs or alcohol.

 

[In search of me]

"In my view to expect better behaviour from a person is to indicate respect for that person. To expect that our pals on the forum won't continue to abuse their bodies by overeating is to my mind not hard, or tough or wielding a whip but saying

'I respect the fact that you have it within yourself to stop this abusive behaviour and I expect that you will'.

Interesting & I agree in principle BUT you are forgetting that this is not a councelling session but a forum. No I dont think we should celebrate cheating but neither do I feel we should be beating people up about it. It is, and remains, their choice. Encouragement (in my personal & professional opinion) works much better.
Being honest I found your comments about posts being boring quite offensive and while respecting your right to an opinion think you may have forgotten that people on LL are vulnerable enough as it is. This is not an AA session but a place where people come to share experiences & support through a dificult time in thier lives.
As suggested by others on this thread your comments will make them think about posting for fear of being sniped about. I think that this is a real shame and really hope that people who feel like this will have the strength to recognise that your comments are yours alone and I think from peoples responses that your view is a minority.
Anyway, I am going to shut up now! I'll be interested to see how your tough love thread goes!

 

[Mrs Pink]

Mmmmmm ....... FP I didn't see you complaining on 10th June (when you confessed to eating olives bread champagne chinese etc) about all the warm fuzzy messages of support you got ..... mmm? Pot? Kettle?

 

[natayou]

or were the replies enabling your addiction ?

 

[fatpossum]

Thanks Chaps!!

I'm withdrawing from attempting to pursue this 'discussion' now - it's beginning to remind me of the school yard when I was about 11.

Thank you.