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bowl of cereal at 1am - how stupid is that??

#1
Hi everyone! My OH was away last night so I stayed up a lot later than usual and, for some strange reason, at 1am, I got up off the sofa and went and made myself a huge, ketosis-blowing bowl of cornflakes with loads of milk and sugar!! With every mouthful I was thinking 'Why am I doing this?' - but I still did it. So whats that all about???? I've been doing fab lately and felt really in control and relaxed so what made me do that?? Am I just rubbish or is it a thing that everyone does at times? I woke up this morning feeling very frustrated, annoyed and a bit incredulous that I could do such a stupid thing for no particular reason. I don't think my eating demons are ever going to truly leave me. I'm back on it this morning but bloody starving (again!). Sighhhhhhh!!!!!

:copon::copon::copon::copon::copon::copon::copon:
 
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#2
Not had a midnight feast yet, but when I was eating the extra slices of pizza the other day I was thinking 'stop, this is daft, you're blowing it' but down the hatch they went... :(

Put it behind you. Regain your focus, find something to take your mind off things and you'll be back in ketosis before you know it ;)
 
#3
Thanks Lunar Jim! Its just madness isnt it? Like a sort of self-destruct button inside our heads! I felt like I had no say in what I did which I know is ridiculous. I think it had something to do with the fact that i felt like the whole world was asleep apart from me, my OH was hundreds of miles away and it was my little two-fingered salute to them all. My little secret! Why?????? That's why I've posted it cos I'm worried that if I didnt, I'd do it again - just like I've done for years. What a basket case!! xxx
 

devilishandsweet

100% all the way!
#4
Never mind, it's done now and it's a new day.

I think it's strange that we never plan to do it and it's mostly on the spur of the moment! xxx
 
#5
Thanks Devilish - hope you're back to feeling positive after your downer the other day? I'm feeling fairly ok with it - its just disturbed me that, if I can do that when I'm doing well and feeling good, what am I still capable of when I'm naffed off??? We have to constantly on our guard as habitual over-eaters don't we?
 
#7
I can't imagine being skinny or being able to WANT to say no to food. Its a constant battle in my head. I can never understand these people who eat 1 square of chocolate and then put it in the fridge for the next day or the next week or people who say a meal was too big for them and they couldnt finish it! I can't truly remember a single meal that I didnt polish off. Therein lies my problem I reckon!!!!! Maybe we should capture a thin person and force them to tell us their secret under threat of force-feeding!!!!!!!!!!!
 

devilishandsweet

100% all the way!
#8
Yeh feeling alot better thanks xx

I agree let's interigate the skinny people! xx
 
#9
Hahaha! Maybe we can waft crisps and doughnuts under their nose and frighten them witless. I reckon its a conspiracy to keep us bigger than them cos they're scared we'll look more gorgeous than they do (which we do anyway, boney *******!!!)
 
#10
or people who say a meal was too big for them and they couldnt finish it! I can't truly remember a single meal that I didnt polish off.
Funny, when I went to see a dietician ages ago (failed...), I mentioned this to her. We chatted and I told her I've always cleared my plate, ever since I was a kid, when I was brought up to do so. She then said I was just following the behaviour I'd learned as a kid. Perhaps there is some truth in this?
 
#12
Ha! I like the full fat coke idea!!! Drown 'em, drown 'em I say!!!!!
I saw a dietician some years ago too and she told me exactly the same! My family have always been big eaters and it wasnt until I met my OH when I was 20 (a few years ago!) and he was amazed at how big our portion sizes were, that I realised that we over-ate. In those days, I played a lot of sport and was very active so I burned off what I consumed whereas, today, I just lard about cos my knees and ankles kill me whenever I do anything more strenuous than walking. It IS something to do with our past I reckon and its whats ingrained into you before your even old enough to understand whats going on - and then its very, very hard to change. The cereal episode last night was deffo a hangover from the past and its something I do quite often - random binges for no particular or obvious reason - just cos I can. I despair because its not how I want to be. I feel quite ashamed of myself afterwards (never, ever during) and it just baffles me as to why I self-destruct when I dearly want to be slim and healthy.
 

redhead66

This will be my year
#13
Oooh I like the idea of force-feeding the skinnies, the only problem is that I'd scoff the lot before I even got chance to threaten them with it! :ashamed0005:

Last night was just a blip, Wanabeelovely. My OH works away a lot of the time and I've always done something similar when he leaves. I've thought and thought about why I do it, and have come to the conclusion that it's just because I can... my version of the 2 fingered salute too :D It's the chance to be a naughty little girl, to stay up late and eat what I want because I'm alone and bored, and there's nobody there to tell me I shouldn't do it.

You sound as though you're back on track now, so focus on how well you've done so far and let go of the hiccup.

PS If you ever wonder whether it's worth it, I'm a newbie, this is day 2 on SS for me, and reading losses like yours and Lunar Jim's are what's keeping me motivated while I'm starving and feeling crappy :)
 
#14
Aww - thanks Redhead66 - nobody's ever said that to me before! I really appreciate that!!! Well done on doing your 2 days cos that first week is murder - I took to my bed on day 2 cos I felt so ill so you're doing great to even be concious!!!
The OH is back tonight so I won't be repeating my cornflakes moment under his watchful eye (maybe thats it - I feel 'watched' when he's around and have to look him in the eye and tell him I've been on track!!! I can't lie to him cos he can see it in my face so I DAREN'T cheat!!!! Also, I don't want him to be disappointed in me.)
What a life eh??? xxxxxx
 
#16
Thanks Charley24! I'm ok and feeling positive - I just confuse myself!!!!
 
#17
Yep, it's a bugger...your doing well one minute and feeling good...then BAM your posting something in your gob whilst the internal 'Dont do it' voice is totally ignored by your expert hand to mouth co ordination!! I did it last night with two nectarines...never before have I considered nectarines a binge!!! Yet it will work against ketosis. As well as the clear your plate thing I have a hate to throw away food thing and the fruit was there for my daughter who was ignoring the fruit bowl and they were getting over ripe. So, is 60pence worth of fruit worth a week of CD cost and losing less pounds this week......DOH!!! of course not!!! I live with my 13 year old daughter who will be away fro 2 weeks from Fri and guess I am a bit nervous about no one to answer to to re my food. Daughter is very supportive and 'notices' what I am or am not eating...and I am supposed to be the grown up! Anyway, best wishes everyone for a blip free week!!!
 


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