Carly's Diary - Fit and Fabulous (fingers crossed)

Thanks girls :) I just had a banana shake it was so lovely I can actually say I enjoyed that. I cant believe the shakes are so much nicer than CD.
I met with a friend last night who has always struggled with her weight and she told me she is having appointments re surgery. I am trying to convince her to just try one of the VLCD and just give it a go so that she knows she has really exhausted all her options. I really want it to work for her I know her husband and sister are leaning towards surgery but she isn't sure. I dont think I am a great example of a big success as I wasnt hugely overweight at my biggest I was a chubby 14 and she is over size 20 so I think she may think its easier for me. I just want to provide her with the right support so she doesnt make a life changing decision because of other people.
 
It's really difficult with friends. I have a close friend who is very overweight. She's probably only a stone heavier than me but is 5 inches shorter so carries it differently. She has had health issues including gall bladder and appendix problems which the docs told her was all linked to being overweight and her poor diet. She just eats crap all day. I'm no angel and I did eat bad food, however would always eat fruit and veg with a meal, just in ridiculous portions, which when combined with the moderate crap I ate, made me fat!! She just binges on solid bad food. 2 bagels slathered in real butter for a pre-dinner snack the other day! :eek: she eats a massive bowl of pasta with full fat pesto, chicken and bacon and considers it healthy, and will regularly have Chinese or takeaway (3 times a week) and say that she's only eaten half her meal, but when she's ordered 3 dishes, eating half still isn't great!! :-(

I've tried to diet with her before, however she sucks my motivation, and is one for sabotage. I know it's still my fault for caving in, but without the temptation I'd be fine!! :-( I've also tried to encourage her separately from my own weight loss journey, but she just bats it off and says she'll start next week. It's entirely her choice, I know this, but she's so unhappy and does spent a lot of time being upset about her weight and I'm starting to get to the end if my wits as I'm trying to help her, without being pushy. She's been single for 4 and a half years and its getting her down. She's even got to the point she has stopped washing herself properly and the house is always a bit of a mess, and smells :-( I suggested she join me in s&s the other day, she said she can't afford it, but I gave her approx £80 of my old CD stuff when I last came off it, and she never paid me for them and never used them, they just rotted :-( I'm not sure how long I can go on supporting her when she's not supporting herself...it's so difficult :-(

Anyway, the point i was making is that it's so difficult to help others, especially when they're a bit lost in terms of how they want to help themselves!! :-( your friend Would be much better doing a VLCD. Surgery is so final, and such a risk to take when all other avenues haven't been explored!!
 
She is open to trying but she is very insecure person and lacks confidence. Some of her weight is due to PCOS and the other I suppose bad choices but she doesnt eat loads I think again as she is only about 5ft 2 they weight shows so much more as well. I think it would work taking food choice away completely as she does like healthy foods as well as the bad things. I think I eat just as much as her but I am very active with sports so its prob why I havent gained as much weight. I just think that her hubby and sister should really be supporting her when it comes to dieting. Like you say the bypass is so final and she will never be able to eat normally again :(
 
It is difficult when trying to help friends with weight problems/issues.

I used to get really insulted and upset if any of my friends nicely suggested going on a diet together or joining a club, because it just reinforced what I felt about myself that I was fat and unworthy. I only started taking dieting seriously when I knew I had to do it for myself. I think when you diet for others approval it never really works, you have to do it only for yourself.

The only thing I would say is don't let your friend suck the motivation out of you Rhi, and encourage you to self sabatoge. You may even need to take a step back for your self this time.

You both sound like you are doing fab - the weight will be dropping off you soon
 
Aw bless your both trying to be good friends..... So hard when you don't want to upset friends x as the saying goes 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink' think you will just have to keep on encouraging and they might come round to it themselves x
 
Definitely!! I've made the decision this time to completely detach my own weigh loss journey from my friendship with her. I went to her house on Tuesday and where I woudl usually have caved and at least had a 'bit' of what she was eating, I took my pack and a box of mushrooms and made a niussance of myself pottering around her making my own food. She seemed a bit put out by it but it was what I needed to do. She always seems to be on ther verge of making the decision to actually actively try to lose weight, but never quite manages it. I think perhaps if she sees me do well, she might have a go, if only out of jealousy, and then I can support her :)
 
Bless! How funny off out with your box of mushrooms :) you did so well to resist. Do you think you will be motivated over the weekend? That is when I am likely to wobble!

I just spoke to her and she postponed her appointment today and is going to have a read through of the info I sent her for CD and S&S. I think being desperate for a baby and having the shock of what the docs have said about the option of only bypass and not band may be a big wake up call.
 
I realy hope she gives it a so. I hate the thought of people having non-reversible surgery with potentially life thretening risks for the sake of what is essentially an emotional/psychological problem. We eat because our heads aren't in the right frame. We are happy/sad/lonely/looking for comfort/bored/dont know any different, we dont eat because we are fat!! I think its so important to address our attitude to food, not just our portion sizes, otherwise any work we do can be undone so quickly, even after surgery. Also what's the point in being skinny and miserable, I've finally relaised that i'd rather do a strict diet like s&s, address my demons, and hopefully come out of the end slimmer and happier.

:)
 
I think your quite right Rhi, was thinking your friend maybe seemed put out when you were making your meal because that was like a signal to her that what she was having wasn't acceptable and she felt abit ashamed..... Maybe keep it up show her that its doable like you were saying!
Carly fingers crossed that your friend gives this a real try first, surgery is so risky :(
 
Thanks ladies I'm hoping so too.

I am on the train now to work and a little hungry I have a strawberry shake in my bag and cottage pie for lunch with some veg :) hoping I like them! I am trying to keep tally of things I prefer to put my order in next week. The scales show a 3 or 4lb loss so far so on track for my 7lb this week.
 
Well done Carly, the cottage pie does look awful but it's one of my faves I gotta say, looks like that 7lbs will be yours this week x
 
You'll definitely get 7lbs this week, youre doing so well. I also LOVED the cottage pie - maybe cop some mushrooms up small and mix them in...nom!!

:)
 
I think I will go downstairs at lunch as my work has quite a good selection of veg and a big salad bar with Green beans and broccoli so will see what is left.

I really hope so. I am just worrying about falling off at the weekend. I think I may go spinning tonight and suggested shopping at westfield tomorrow to keep my mind off food. Sunday we are going to essex for a birthday so that day should be fine as we will be out all day and I can amuse myself with the nephews!
 
Aw that will be nice, I'm sure you'll have no problem staying on track
 
A lazy weekend with OH. Got a few house viewings booked in. I'm trying to buy somewhere after just getting my money from my ex buying me out of the house that we owned. It's very exciting, but very scary doing it on my own!! :)
 
Weekend - not great I just cant stick to it 100% at weekends I always do this!

Well Saturday took the car to the Garage and needed brake pads etc etc so ended up waiting around for it......so had to wait in the cafe as there was nowhere else I had Tea and then eggs and salmon (I didnt eat the toast) then dinner I had fish and salad so had no products as I ate food!
Yesterday I ended up having roast .....the whole lot and nothing else! oops. TBH as I am only trying to lose a stone I dont think it will be hugely detrimental but hey still get annoyed with myself!
 
Don't beat yourself up!! You're doing fab, and like you said, you only have a small amount to lose, so the odd day here and there is fine! :)
 
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