carries final journey (she hopes)

Hi carrie your doing really well hunni keep up the great work...Xxx
 
bben a wee while since ive updated this thing. ive had a few lapses... nothing that has taken me totally off plan but am struggling to get back to 100%. for instance im 100% uptill bout 6pm then im having a meal.... wtf? ive gained 3lb according to my scales since monday ( i know this is glycogen) but why do i keep sabotaging myself when im so close? had to buy scales yesterday as i thought thatd spur me on... im gonna drink drink drink till i shrink shrink shrink!! if i can get 1 day 100% and i see the difference on my scales then ill thatll motivate me to see the difference after 2 then 3 days?? thats the method to my madness...
so sat 19th feb AM 1 vanilla shake with 1 spoonful coffee 25omls boiling water, 2 pints water. gonna do housework with my new hoover i bought yesterday... its the small things lol. xx
 
Huni I totally hear you! I've been fighting off crooked thinking for weeks now.
It does get tougher towards the end.
The thing is babe. You and I both know that dropping out now most likely means putting the weight back on because no RTM means no support and no help when the help is needed the most.
Can I ask you how close are you to reaching your goal?
I've got ca. 20 lbs to go but I'm starting to think that this is far too unrealistic as I'm already happy with my weight now even though it's not quite the healthy bmi just yet. I'm nearly 5'10" and if I lose too much I'll look ill. Still I want to keep going and lose another stone at least because I know I will put some weight back on when I go back to the world of food completely.
It's hard but you have been doing so well and you have this amazing dress to fit into. Let's try and keep each other motivated and focused for that last push!
We CAN and WILL do it!!!
X

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ive got between 7 and 10lbs till goal... i really dont wanna go too low like first time round. my biggest flaw is that i know i can do it. i wanna do it properly but at the same time i am quite happy where i am now... i know however if i went onto rtm now i would regret not getting to goal. we can do it we know we can i just feel like everyday is a battle to remain 100% and by night im fed up of arguing with myself. i must say when i tried on my wedding dress i felt i looked lovely, i have a figure like jessica rabbit in it... i think if id seen myself in it and felt too big in it i would still be okay but ive now got it in my head that i look how i imagined.... oh battle battle battle!!! lol. im my own worst enemy... i told my llc that i was gonna start rtm at 9st 7lb even although my goal i really 9st 4lb. i just know u lose a bit during rtm.

right stern talking to now carrie..... i can and will succeed. ive overcame huge things in my life i can do 3 more weeks of abstinance.

should we start a 7 day 100% challenge for us thats battling?? xx
 
day 3 today and im soooo moody lol.... bring on ketosis soon please.
will find out the damage my self sabotage has done in a few hours.... xx
 
Aww, good luck for tonight Carrie... :)

xx
 
Good luck Carrie xx
 
Oh well. Onwards and downwards darling.
You'll lose it in no time!

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So you put a tiny amount on now time to focus on this week now, you are so close xx
 
hmmmm..... back to where i started, nearly so have got to do this. ive spent 2months saying 2moro, next week, 2moro, one last meal.... so on and so forth. but on friday i decided sunday was the day no excuses just start! i wasnt hungry first thing and as i was in the bath i was thinking oh, id normally start on a monday so ill start 2moro... and i had my first shake of the day!! i pushed those crooked thoughts to the back of my mind, i had a choc shake with 200mls water and im on my 2nd litre of water.... im going to weigh myself daily to keep me going for the first couple of days and i need to get a new tape measure.

im gonna set myself ickle mini goals, as i cant afford to do this diet in its entirety just now im using up old foodpacks then i may do exante or dukan, ill decide on day 4/5 when ive no food cravings trying to talk me in2 ww or sw... a little of what i fancy does NOT do me any good, that is 1 thing i do know, im not knocking these diets but as many of you will probably have recognised from my many previous posts im an all or nothing girl, i do recognise this is an unhealthy attitude and i will do all i can to change it but first things first is to get this unwanted lard off.

i dont think ive ever made full use of a diary and i do want to be open and honest with you all but mostly myself. i feel truly disgusted with my physical appearance, i see photos of myself and i wana burn them, when surrounded by friends and/or family i wanna hide away. ive often thought to myself if i could just lock myself away for a few weeks id be fine but the truth is i think i just wanna hide away.... i wanna wake up with my confidence back. i used to be the life and soul of any party at my biggest.... whats changed? i think i thought losing weight would solve everything but it didnt.

sorry for the mad ramblings, it doesnt really make sense to me but it does feel a bit better getting it written down. thanks for reading xx
 
Welcome back Carrie!! :):)

Get in the zone and then find a plan that works for you and your budget.

I may order some Exante packs to help with RTM and maintaining as they are so much cheaper and I dont have to drive to meet my LLC. Little bit worried about switching but we have to do what suits us and our finances.


Good luck and keep sipping the water xx
 
thanks chick for reading and responding, im hoping the next 3/4 days are the last days i spend getting in2 the big K. im still sipping, xx
 
Good luck in chasing the Ketosis fairy, she can often be a B**ch to find !

Posting on here I find strengthens my resolve, even if I am rambling inanely.

Onwards and dowards honey xx
 
Best of luck, get through the first few days and you'll be fine. We're all here to support you x
 
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