I managed to lose 2lbs this week so am happy with that.
I have been living off painkillers these past couple of days though as my back is really killing me. Would some one kindly remind me of this pain if I ever moan about being on a diet...
I think the last stone I put on sat right on my back and I just can't wait to get it off.
I reflect time and time again...
Why I eat so much it makes me feel sick.
Why I put up with having no shape.
Why I tolerate not being able to fit into nice clothes.
Why I hate going out to restaurants in case I can't fit into the seat or feel uncomfortable.
Why I let myself suffer the agony of being squashed into an aeroplane seat. Feel embarrased that I am spilling over onto someone I don't know and cannot lay my food tray flat.
Why I struggle to turn over in bed at night.
Why I avoid going out and seeing friends.
I could go on and on and on but it's making me feel crap
I wish I had the answer to why food has been a dominant factor in my life like for bloody ever!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially when I feel so damn good when eating well and losing weight???????????
I keep thinking I am going to be nearly 50 by the time I have lost all my weight and it makes me want to weep. For some reason I need to mourn the life I have never had
I never intended to write this negative entry but it just came racing out of me from nowhere. I am not sure if it is cathartic or harmful yet as I need to go and have a good sob :cry:
Sorry for the sob story!
Catt x