<<**}}} claire's cambridge diary {{{**>>

mrs z i agree so much - when ur struggling its a help to know theres someone else in the same boat, or to read that someone WAS struggling but got through it. and when youve been "bad" its good to see that other people sometimes crack too!!!

xcx
 
aaargh im still in hell :(
im freezing cold and feeling miserable grrrrr. am still desperate for melted cheese waffles :( have fought this all bloody day and am just hes ready for givin in. im not going to cos im desperate to get a good result and i dont wanna mess up the last couple of days doing 100%. i really hope this will pass by morning...

yeah - i bloody better have a loss this week!

on a totally unrelated note - the ice cream van has just stopped outside :hmm:its nearly 9pm in march - and the ice cream van is there?!?!?! seriously - wtf!!

xcx
 
Hiya,

I was wondering the other day why I hadn't seen an Ice Cream van!! I thought they came out in winter too?! :confused: lol

Your doing so well...please don't give up!!

Just think how you'll feel when you're on the scales...you know you'll regret it if you have something. Can you not have a cup of tea or warm diluting juice to take the edge off? Even a can of juice?

I'm doing rubbish, I keep doing a few days good then a few days total binge. I lost 3lbs last week and re-gained it this week due to a weekend binge. Need to get a grip. On 100% as of today...i'm starving, crumpy and craving food! :cry:


Keep strong
:)
 
aw hunni :( its so hard to stay on track i think.
i cant have juices :( water only on cd. i can have tea though without milk so gonna have a cup of chai :) im not gonna give up - the results so far have been too good to give up on! just really hope i lose a bit!! i hate that urge to binge :( its like an almost physical force that MAKES you do it.
well hope things look up a bit for ya, i know you can do it - look how far youve come already :D

xcx
 
Aarrgghh i'm just struggling so much, i will be going to bed soon and i've been 100% today so fingers crossed for the end of the week.

I stuck to this 100% for around 8 months, so I know I can do it, and I know that the hunger does go away along with the cravings, when I gave myself a break and went back to normal I just continued doing that for months...didn't put on any more weight, more or less staying the same most weeks...but now i'm struggling to get into the swing of things. Plus the losses aren't as big the smaller you get, which is not very good for motivation.

Your doing great.
:)
 
Keep going Claire you're doing fab! you know this will pass soon :)
 
yay! got trhough last night without giving in :) still not in ketosis yet though :( thats been since friday :confused: - im delighted with myself for doing 100% so far but im p!ssed off cos im still 2lbs above what i weighed on sat - that doesnt seem possible!!! am guzzling the water and sticking to he diet sooooo well. saying that , i havent been to the toilet (*coughs*) since friday either :( i had 2 movicols yesterday afternoon yet still nothing :( if nothing by 24 hrs ill try the dulcolax - theyre usually more effective, if slightly less pleasant - but necessary!!!

plan for today -

bfast - vanilla shake - gonna try it hot with a spoon of coffee and see if it's like a latte - ive been sooooo missing my cappucinos so heres to a coffee hit!
lunch - orginal porrige
dinner - orange bar :)

oooh im so pleased to have the bars now - therye very yummy - ive liked the orange, the chocolate and the caramel so far. tried the peanut one at my cdc's and was ok - took one for when i have a peanut butter sandwich craving!!!

well best of luck for today ladies and thanks so much for the encouragement - its keeping me going :)

xcx
 
have de cided to get rid of the scales - i told myself id do that last week but never got the courage to! am gonna get the boys' dad to take them down when he takes lewis to hospital cos im weighing myself damn near hourly at the moment and its not ok! i know this must just be water weight and im really bloated so pretty sure its related to my period but its still sooooo discouraging :( ill be pleased if i sts this week at this rate :(
bye bye bathroom scales!!!

xcx
 
morning claire!! im soo pleased for you staying on track last night just think how depressed you would have been waking up this morn if youd eaten those naughty cheesy waffles!! i weigh daily sometimes twice so youve inspired me to remove my scales! it cant be healthy for us emotionally to keep weighing :( anyway heres to a good day hunny x
 
hey hey. am here mostly for a rant but a small yay too!

am so pissedd off! my ex was meant to come here at 9:30am to ake our son to his weekly leukaemia clinic but never showed up!! i had no credit in my phone so had to text my mum to get her to call him and he wasnt answering. anyways, i had to get my baby son up outta bed (he's got the cold and his temperature was 38.5 :( ) and take them both to the hospital which is a nightmare! i called his mums house (where he stays) and his sister picked up went to get him outta bed. i started yelling at him and said "you get up here right now and help witht the kids!" his reply - "i cant im still pissed from last night!" im so effin angry its untrue - he acts like hes so perfect and is the first to point out a single mistake i might make. but i think to get so drunk the night before your sns hospital appointment that you cant make a phone call to say you cant make it, much less actually turn up, is beyond pathetic. he makes out like all i do is whinge and nag at him but its cos he does stuff like this and i have ben left with so little faith that he'll ever just be reiliable. im beyond all this. our son has cancer. hes going through chemo. i have to get him through that as well as bringing up our other son and trying to keep it all normal in their lives and him mucking around like a 17 yr old single guy with no responsibilities really really infuriates me. why am i the grown up? id love for nothing more than a day away from having responsibilities, but i know that wont happen, cos im a mum, and a grown up!!!!
i am so glad to be outta that relationship cos it would have just gone from bad to worse and thered have been nothing i could have done o stop him turning out likre his low-grade w@nker of a father. i really hope my boys grow up to be something other than carbon copies of a loser.

ran over. small yay is that im back in keto. heres hoping he turns up later so i can go to my zumba class (and that he's sober)

xcx
 
oh god claire you poor thing!! i really hope your son is getting better i dont know how id cope tbh your like a superwoman!! argh my 2 eldest childrens father is a complete waste of space,he lives in essex and they are lucky if they see him 3 times a year,meanwhile hes shacked up with my ex best friend living the life of riley.he moans that he cant even top the kids mobile phones up as he has no money but yet earns 400 plus a week!! i think that as long as we are there and being good role models the children will grow up to realise that theyre dad wasnt there for them but we were! grr men lol there are some good ones out there i bagged a good one! just got to get slim now!! well done for being in ketosis you stay right where you are now! lol x
 
thanks fran! i think itd be easier if he was like this all the time but generally he's pretty good for the kids. its when he des stuff like this i wanna kill him grrr! im no superwoman either lol - you can do anything when it comes to your kids i think. my kids are my very own superpowers!!

xcx
 
hows today going then? im just going to update my diary! imv v hungry today and i thought the longer im in ketosis the less hungry i would be grr
 
todays been good diet wise. have 100%ed with no major cravings and am jus enjoying my post zumba porrige - yum :)

still not in keto though which is making me annoyed :(

heres hoping for a pink stick tomorrow - earliers one must have been a false positive cos the rest of the sticks were beige :(

xcx
 
Claire, just wanted to come on and say you are a complete star for managing to 100% with all the crap thats going on at the moment. Keep it up love, just take a look at what you're doing and realise what an amazingly strong and inspirational woman you are right now! ;)

As for the pink stix!!!! The EXCESS ketones are picked up by the ketostix, just because the sticks aren't pink doesn't mean you're not in Ketosis, it may be that your just not producing excess ketones thats all.

Hope the lovely KD will read this thread and come and tell you all how she lost 8 stone and not once did she produce a pink stick!

Rely on how you are feeling and not the pee stix. :p
 
thanks much catherine :)
yeah i feel like im in ketosis cos yesterday i wasnt really craving and wasnt having hunger. v odd. am still the same weight as saturday too which is sooooooo frustrating!!
well this morning ive been up since 5:10am :( arran had another temp this morning. its hard to remember how to react to a "regular" child having a temp and stuff cos we have to go straight to hospital when lewis has a temperature but ibviously dont with arran!!
well plan for today -

bfast - choc tetra
lunch - original porrige
dinner - peanut bar

hope u all have a good day :)

xcx
 
am so frustrated at not losing anything so far this wee!!! ive been 100% god and have promised myself im not eating anything not cd again while im on the program, but i just feel so discouraged by still being the same weight as on saturday :(
im in keto defo - i had a pink stick just now and have felt good and keto-like since yesterday so i know im doing well. im pleased by the fact that it looks like im gonna have my first 100% week, and yet im sooo annoyed that my wight hasnt budged :( i really wanted to wi below 14 stone this week and it really looks like it aint gonna happen :mad:

dammit!!!!

xcx
 
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