Hi
Oooh, those narsty lapses!!!
You were such a 'visual inspiration' to me Les, so I am going to try and be a 'verbal inspiration' to you.
You know how we talked about having to have our heads in the right place, how that makes all the difference. It must be very hard for you, because I know where a lot of your head is at the moment. So you have a tough thing going on.
But - you are Scottish - and I know Scotts can be mighty willful and mighty strong. Married to half of one afterall.
![Wink ;) ;)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
Tomorrow, when you wake up, commit to yourself that you are going to do it, just for one day, to prove that you can. Again - you know you can becuase of the amazing loss you had before.
Think of allll the reasons you want to do this. And remind yourself each hour. When you are feeling low, treat yourself to a nice hot bath, or a good movie. Maybe when you feel the voices calling you, grab a pen and paper, and write down what they are telling you - and then say 'no you narsty buggers!! Or write it down, and then burn or throw the paper away. It sounds silly - but sometimes just having a silly little conversation, with you being the loudest voice can be helpful. And writing it down is taking it from your head on to something you can throw away....then its gone.
Just remember all the reasons to get through the day successfully, and all the reasons not to. A pro and con list. And then choose which one you want. Sometimes seeing it in black and white really can have an impact. And rememebr you are doing this to make you happy - and lady, after what you have just been through and are going through - you deserve a little happiness.
It's just one day. And if you get through the day, then the next day, you can draw on that empowerment you have given yourself. And each day will get easier and easier, as your head gets in the right place.
Just a couple ideas that might help. I hope they do. I know you can do this.
One day at a time, will soon turn in to a week at a time, and then a month....and then you are on your way and already almost done.
Sending you lots of vibes, hoping that in some small way I can help you, the way you helped me.
XXX