Concerned for my future...

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by NooNoo1970, 27 February 2008 Social URL.

  1. NooNoo1970

    NooNoo1970 Member

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    I did cambridge for the first time and successfully in 2006, reverted to old habits and gained weight....as you would expect. Did CD again last yr for my wedding got back down to 11.7st...after the wedding reverted back to old habits and gained weight again.
    Have been trying unsuccessfully to get back on track since then really.

    Had a long chat with Hubby last night...hes never had a weight prob, eats when hes hungry and stops when hes full and never eats for the sake of it....so personally I cant see how he can have an understanding of how it feels to 'have to have food', no more than I can ever understand how he can not manage to go for a day with out a discusting, smelly stick of nicotine!!! He supports all my weight loss efforts, but seems to think its literally a case of eating less and cutting out junk. (which its obviously is but in reality its not that easy!!)

    In some ways doing CD was an inspiration to me, I was able to loose weight, it was lovely being slimmer and I felt great...so that was a really huge plus side of the diet! BUT it also seems to have f****d up my mind even more where food in concerned. I seem to have this preconception now thats its eaither feast or famine. I am either ON or OFF CD. If ON I am good and focused if I am OFF I ate anything and everything in sight! I seem to now be unable to even ate healthily..ie WW...............:cry:

    How do I break this cycle??
    If I carry on like this its very unhealthy and can and will eventually cause dmaage to my body, but if I give up trying I am going to be an even bigger ten tonne tessy!!!!
    How do I get the ultimate result of either coming to terms with my body as it is(which I am not happy doing...If I was 12st instead of 14.7 I would be happy to stay there), or learn how to maintain?

    I so want and need to be normal, to develop a take it or leave it attitude towards food ....But I just honestly dont know how!

    please help ...any advice would be greatly appreciated!
    Thanks and sorry for going on or for being on such a downer.
     
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  3. Time4ME

    Time4ME MUST get a grip

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    Ahhh Lou
    I was wondering where you 'd got to .....
    Firstly - many many of our hang ups are in the 'mindset' and what I mean by this is.... In order for you to give yourself reasons to eat, you do...
    Tell you what - I'll pm you instead xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  4. NooNoo1970

    NooNoo1970 Member

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    Thanx honey!!!:flowers: will go and have a look at in box in a bit XXX
     
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  5. Seaneen

    Seaneen Short and pink

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    It bothers me that some diets can kick off eating disordered behaviour. Since I've been here, I've been alarmed at the way people talk about themselves as having "ugly fat" and "hideous fat". It is such a self-hating way of being. Fat is not evil, and being fat does not make you a better or worse person. It's just a preference, the endless quest in being comfortable with ourselves and in a lot of cases, to be healthy.

    The feast/famine mindset is classic disordered eating. And I know how you feel because the Atkins diet screwed up my eating. I saw some foods as "good" and some as "bad" and absolutely panicked if I had "bad" foods.


    I think, for you, the middle ground might be CD on 790 or 1000. That's if you want to do CD at all, because you don't have to, you could see a dietician and discuss how you see food. On the CD route, you can learn to live with CD and with food. The food you're "allowed" would be good food, and it might help repair your relationship with food. It might help you get out of the cycle of binging, if you do.

    On the other hand, if you do have a problem with compulsive eating (and really, you're not that big at all) and self-image to the point where you polarise your own behaviour, it might be worth seeing someone to talk to it over.

    Please, love yourself. Easier said than done, but at the end of the day, weight, it's only a number. Don't measure your self worth by that number, you are much more than that.
     
  6. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    i seriously recommend you try lighterlife this time as it has the counselling sessions that deal with this type of thing and will give you tools to avoid putting on all the weight again. I started on LL - did it for the required 100 days and now doing Cambridge to lose the last bit. So both are excellent it is just that LL is more useful for some
     
  7. daisy2002

    daisy2002 Member

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    Your post could of been writen by me :cry:
    I have the same problem & also you husband is like mine. He eats only when he's hungry.
    I was making toast this morning for the kids & asked if he wanted any & he said no.
    In my head i thought, why would you turn up the offer of toast, its breakfast time.
    I have done lipotrim back in 2005 & lost over 7st, got pregnant gained over 5st. Went back on lipotrim & got back done to 9st 4lbs.
    Went back to my eating like before & started gaining weight. Tried the cambridge diet last year for about 6wks & lost just over 1 stone. Then gave up & carried on eating junk.
    Now here i am in 2008 17st 11lbs... well 16lbs 11ozs, i've just lost 1 stone.

    Why do i keep doing this to myself, why do i have to eat eat eat like its going out of fashion. I can't have 1 or 2 biscuits it has to be 10. Why do i eat a huge dinner until i can hardly move but then 20 mins later start eating chocolate.

    I would eat from morning til bedtime, which is how i easily manage to put on 5-7 stone in a year :eek:
    I hate it & i hate myself for doing it.
    I want to be normal but i don't know how, as silly as that sounds.
    My confidence is zero, i don't go out as i'm ashamed of myself. I want to be normal :cry:
     
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  8. Seaneen

    Seaneen Short and pink

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    The thing is, if the attitudes to food and behaviour don't change, a diet is just a sticking plaster. If you're stuck in destructive patterns, you need some help with it. It's not weak or bad, and you're not weak or bad.

    You can get help; emotional eating and compulsive eating can be managed. They don't get the attention but I view them as problems akin to bulimia; it is a form of disordered eating.

    There are tons of eating disorder charities who offer helplines, just check out Google. And doctors can put people in touch with support groups.

    There's also Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which can help.
     
  9. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    It's some problem isn't it :( But there is hope. Albeit lots of work to do.

    I would love to be able to say "do this and it'll all be okay", but it's not as easy as that. I have many little techniques to keep me on the straight and narrow.

    The solution isn't just working out what makes you overeat. That's the easy bit. It's not even sorting out how you can deal with it when it happens....knowing what to do is a doddle too ;)

    The only solution is to put what you learn into practice and that's the toughy.

    But it's not all doom and gloom. Far from it. It's a challenge :clap: and it's so good when you suss it out and can defeat it :clap:
     
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  10. Seaneen

    Seaneen Short and pink

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    When I think I'm overeating, I switch to a "safe food", something healthy and good, like a piece of veggie or fruit. Or I get up and do something else.

    I'm not being simplistic here but it does help to just catch yourself on, stop and go do something else.

    Although I'm a young person and I don't have a family. I imagine it would be way harder when you have kids to feed and responsibilities. I am lucky in that I don't have many so I can walk out of my house for an hour and no one will miss me.

    I think KD is right that techniques to cope are very handy. I also think counselling in general is helpful. If anything to get over this shame we have for our behaviour, the shame is more harmful than the behaviour.
     
  11. Time4ME

    Time4ME MUST get a grip

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    WHAT WE NEED IS A BLOODY MAGIC WAND.... Wands of the world unite and get this fat & feelings off us NOW!!!!!
     
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  12. Tinley

    Tinley Full Member

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    Louise and Daisy - You have both put my life/behaviour in to words (and much better than I ever could).

    Neither counselling, hynotherapy nor drugs have helped me. I'm not looking for an easy solution to this - I know there isn't one. I am resigned to that fact that I am either strictly controlled or out of control, and that there is no middle ground for me. What I wouldn't mind is a few tips and tricks that I can adopt when I'm not being strictly controlled (by either CD, LL or similar) since I can't sole-source for the rest of my life.

    I know I'm not going to be able to give you any advice - I'll leave that to the people who are the same as us but who have found ways to overcome or manage it - but I do want to say that I sooooo understand where you're coming from.
     
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  13. spannerpan

    spannerpan Full Member

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  14. rowanx2

    rowanx2 Losing the baby fat

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    When you have reached target weight before were you exercising?
    maybe finding an exercise you like will be your saviour.
    If you found something that burned the pounds away then food intake isnt so much a problem when youre maintaining.
    All i can suggest is when you come to maintaining time treat it as importantly as you have on losing time.
    it doesnt sound like the quick weight losses worked for you in the long run, and youre right, you'll end up damaged by constant gains and losses - if you took more time losing the weight you would learn more about how much you can handle, and because it takes time you'll be less inclined to go back to putting weight on cos it would have been a tough journey, great effort put in, and you wouldnt want to blow that so much - plus it would become a way of life almost.
    Like losing, maintaining is just practice.

    I wish there were magazines about maintaining out there but you just dont get them - they all cater for losing the weight and then thats supposed to be it - done and dusted, till next time. it's a big business the losing, ther eis nothing in it for anyone if we all maintained.
     
  15. LENNY4974

    LENNY4974 Silver Member

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    Hi Lou,

    I have been lurking these past couple of months out of embarrassment but I couldn't let the thread pass without giving you my support.

    I can completely empathise with you. I am in the same boat entirely (I got down to 10.5 last year and now I'm 12.2 again and gaining) I can't seem to find a happy medium....I just eat and eat. I tried the Rosemary Conley diet and within a couple of days had gone back to shoveling junk down my throat. I am eating for the sake of eating - I'm not even hungry most of the time.

    I have been bingeing and hiding the evidence.

    To be honest I am throughly miserable at the moment and feel like I will always be like this. John doesn't understand either as he has never been worried about this weight...he went to Makro's last week and bought me a box of 20 x 100g maltesers:eek:

    I know all the theories about various diets and healthy eating but I'm not able to put them into practice at the moment and its getting me down.
    I felt fantastic last year, full of confidence and energy now I'm lethargic and bloated. I even hid from someone that I hadn't seen since the wedding so he couldn't see how I've left myself go.:cry:
    I think I need to concentrate on my emotions first before I tackle any diet and try to do damage limitation in the meantime.
    I have got a cupboard full of cd stuff for when I get my head right - this seems to be the only way to kick start me. I've ordered a few books from amazon on emotional eating too.

    I am determined to beat this as like you think that it could do me some damage if i stay on this path.

    (sorry i've hikacked your post):eek::eek::eek:

    I am so sorry you are feeling so low and miserable. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. You are a beautiful person inside and out and I'm sure you will sort everything out and maintain a healthy
    diet.

    Maybe you could arrange to see a dietician and come up with a manageable life plan food wise.

    Take care & I will be thinking of you:D
     
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  16. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    how about nlp then - icemoose, where are you?
     
  17. louisa26

    louisa26 Full Member

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    Hi hun!

    i'm sorry i dont think we've talk properly in ages :( You know like any diet you can only do it when YOU are in the right frame of mind! I think in a certain extent you are but physically doing it, is harder.

    i feel exactly the same hence why last week my weight loss was such a big shock!
     
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  18. icemoose

    icemoose The Diet Guy

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    Hello

    There is lots of support etc out there to help you but you can only change yourself, people can give you ideas and tools around how to best do that but it is an individuals choice on whether to put the weight back on. Most people know how to eat healthy food and controlled food and yet we choose not to.

    There is a benefit in everything we do, even if it manifests itself in a less than ideal way, therefore when I was big I thought it was all negative, the reality was the benefits to me where that it stopped people "messing" with me, it meant I could get instant gratification whenever I was near the fridge, it meant that I was noticed by people when I walked in the room, it meant that I didn't have to face up to a lot of my real problems because I could always have a binge and then although I felt crap afterwards while I was eating I was happy, I may not have been enjoying what I ate, I may have got to the point of feeling very sick but that eating into oblivion was enough to keep from going pop.

    Hence I used food as my big outlet for everything that was wrong with my life, I stopped drugs after university, I stopped gambling in my early 20's, I stopped smoking when I was 27 and hence food was the last outlet to go.

    The problem then is that if you haven't dealt with the real problems in your life then you suddenly have no outlets left, and that is a big scarey place to be.

    I had a big problem once I lost the weight (I don't really talk about it now but Linda will tell you that I went off the rails in a big way and how she supported me :) ), it was only when I actually dealt with my real problems which related back to my childhood as well as other issues that suddenly I didn't need an outlet.

    And also when I realise that if I put myself into the cause of everything that happens to me and not the effect then I suddenly have control over my life, I always blamed everything and everyone for my weight, it wasn't my fault that we had a weekend away, it wasn't my fault that the girls bought cakes into the office etc etc, but the reality is is that I was the cause for get to 27 stone and when I realise I had control then I "chose" to do something about it.

    Now I am slim I am chosing every single day to stay that way, I see it as a positive choice that I am more then congruent with and therefore I will stay slim, I was fighting staying slim for the first few months and ultimately if you fight yourself then you can only lose.

    So my advice is to realise the true benefits of why you overeat, understand those benefits and deal with them (either yourself, through NLP, hypnotherapy, CBT, a friend, or whatever it takes).

    The one thing I have realised though is that to change yourself takes a decision and that takes less than a second to do. And ultimately only you can change you, when Paul McKenna says "I can make you thin" I always think "rubbish!" only you can make you thin....
     
    Last edited: 27 February 2008
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  19. Wobbly71

    Wobbly71 Silver Member

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    hiya, anothe rone wo knows exactly where you are coming from especially with the feast/famine.

    I did great on another re-start and lost 14 pounds when i weighed after 2 weeks. That was a week gone sunday!! I have eaten since.... absolutely gutted.

    Arguing with hubby hasn't helped as this makes me eat! he took me out saturday for a drink and so i ate and then i ate on sunday. This is the worst bit!!! he thinks i have been back on the diet since monday but i haven't, i have been having toast and butter at work brekkie, then crisps and chocolate, then my dinner and more crisps and chocolate then not eaating anything at home on a night and telling him i have had 3 shakes!!!! he is going back away tomorrow to work for a couple of weeks and i am already thinking stuff it, start again monday, have a weekend off (again!!) have wine, have an indian have FUN!!! That is because i associate enjoying myself with food and drink.. how sad!!

    I really am going to tackle this this year and get this weight off, not seeing CDC till 15 March so enough time to get back on track and loose weight.... After all this is what we ar eall trying to do.

    I am so disapointed with myself, for years i have tried diets, ww, sw rc all of them!!! If I had stuck to any one of them i would be slim now!

    I lost 5 stone years ago when i married on weight watchers and this has slowly crept on!!! I need to tackle all of this so thatthis i the last time i feel like this.

    I am going to pledge that Monday (at the latest) I will start SS once again and I think we should all start a new thread to help each other along the way on this hard climb to slimdom!!!

    Helen
     
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  20. Wobbly71

    Wobbly71 Silver Member

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    Mike

    What's NLP

    Helen x
     
  21. Gen

    Gen Normal

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    Sorry I know this was for Mike... and I am sure he will explain NLP but can I just say that it is a fantastic way to change your life... especially if you really want to change it!!!

    I am a huge fan

    Gen xx
     
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