Confessing...

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Lily, 5 February 2010 Social URL.

  1. Lily

    Lily Gold Member

    Posts:
    6,403
    Likes Received:
    153
    Start Weight:
    16st11.0lb
    Current Weight:
    15st10.0lb
    Goal Weight:
    13st7.0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st1lb(6.38%)
    Diet:
    VLCD
    I ended up face down in the biscuit tin last night. And that wasn't even the worst of it. The train pulled into Binge Central and I ate until I felt sick :(

    To be fair, I kind of saw it coming - so I should've been able to stop it. But a bit of me didn't want to. A bit of me wanted to wallow in the failure, just to make myself feel doubly miserable. Does that make sense to anyone but me? :eek:

    I'm posting cos I want to acknowledge to myself what I did and why I did it. The truth is, I'm exhausted. I'm sitting at work right now on the verge of bursting into tears, kind of scared I'm about to lose it big time, actually. Which would be incredibly embarrassing, considering I'm 40 years old and supposedly in a position of authority.

    I've finally accepted (well, please God, I hope I have) that I can't keep doing what I've been doing. It didn't seem as though it should have been too much, going for a lunchtime walk every day with a colleague. It's only walking, for heaven's sake, and I even upped the plan to 810, thinking that ought to do it. But it's still too much. All I'm fit for when I get home from work is falling asleep on the settee (with an occasional post to Minimins during the awake bits :)). So much for getting fitter, huh? :rolleyes:

    I don't want to let my colleague down - but I really want to lose some weight, to at least get back to seeing 13 on the scales. To be honest, I want to go back on sole source and get shot of a stone, fast. I'm so sick of feeling the way I do right now.

    I know that she'll understand that I need to cut back on the walking - maybe if we just went every other day, I'd be okay? But I still hate that I've got to do it. And I don't even know why I'm struggling with all this, cos usually I avoid exercise like the plague, LOL.

    Okay, maybe I do know why. It's because it's been nice, spending an hour with her everyday, talking about everything and nothing. After 3 years of not being particularly close to anyone here at work, it's been nice to cultivate a friendship. And I guess I'm scared of losing that.

    LOL, I'm a mess, aren't I? Sorry to come on here and spout rubbish... :eek:

    But it does at least feel better to have admitted all this stuff to myself. Am I the only one who wonders if she's ever going to grow up? :confused:
     
    X_Tasha_X and quizzicalgrrl like this.
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. Deb-on-a-diet

    Deb-on-a-diet Member

    Posts:
    33
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    18st7lb
    Current Weight:
    17st7lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st6lb
    Lost(%):
    1st0lb(5.41%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet
    Aww Lily, pease dont beat yourself up. What a brave and honest post - you've really moved me and I have a wee tear in my eye too now.

    Draw a line under yesterday, you cant change what you've done and you recognised you were actually doing it and chose not to stop - you may feel that was out of control but I think if you made the choice not to stop eating then you were completely in control. I think we all have days when we eat like that - thats why we're here.

    I dont do much exercise in general but I know for a fact that I just couldnt physically do it right now, I just dont have the energy and to be honest, losing the weight is the most important bit for me right now, the fitness aspect can follow. Does you work friend know about you doing Cambridge? If so, why not explain the whole tiredness side of it and ask if maybe you can cut down the walks to every other day and see how that goes and maybe the other days in between you and her can go find a quiet space at work, have a cuppa and a blether instead? I'm sure she's as glad to have your company as you are to have hers and will be happy to just have that time for a blether, regardless of whether you're walking or sitting chatting.

    You're absolutely NOT a mess - you are one of the most supportive and honest people I've come across on here - I've seen the comments others have made about your posts and the help that you offer them so methinks you're a pretty special lady.

    Not sure I've said anything of any help or sense for that matter but please dont feel blue - you're doing amazingly well and maybe just having a wee bad patch - am waiting for mine to come and I'll be begging for advice from all of you on here and I know I'll get it cos we're all in this together.
     
    Lily likes this.
  4. Beccubug

    Beccubug Silver Member

    Posts:
    623
    Likes Received:
    46
    Start Weight:
    17st2lb
    Current Weight:
    14st3lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st13lb(17.08%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    Don't be so hard on yourself. This diet does not go with excercise at the early stages, it is no wonder you are exhausted. It is totally understandable what you are going through and you need to give yourself a break. I understand what it is like not being close to anyone at work and that you would want to keep the friendship, maybe you should come up with some other suggestions that the two of you could do at lunch times, she obviously enjoys your company too or she wouldn't be going on walks with you everyday, maybe you could walk one day and have a coffee together the next. Like I said please give yourself a break. I think this diet drives us all close to insanity at times but you will come out the other end and feel a lot stronger for it.
     
    Lily likes this.
  5. emmapetty

    emmapetty Going for Goal!

    Posts:
    1,827
    Likes Received:
    68
    Goal Weight:
    13st0lb
    Diet:
    Cambridge diet
    lol Lily :D Of course you aren't the only one who wonders when we are going to grow up!

    :hug99: Don't beat yourself up about the biscuit tin and 'binge central' - only 2 weeks ago I went to the shop and bought a pack of biscuits, haribo sweets and a pack of quavers and sat in the bathroom (hiding from hubby) and scoffed the lot. (You're confessing, so why not join you?!)

    You are doing so brilliantly angel, and when you are back on ss that stone will shift in no time at all :)

    The hard bit is getting back into ketosis and getting your head in the right place. I managed it after 2 weeks of excuses and lots of self loathing. Rest assured that we are all here to support you in getting back onto the CD wagon - you are welcome to PM me anytime ;)

    I understand how you feel re: work colleague friend too. I work with people who are all much older than me, so I don't regard them as 'friends' really. It does get me down that I have been in Bristol 2 years now and don't really have many 'friends' :( I would be the same as you if I found someone through work that I could see myself being friends with. If I was you as part of the 'getting to know a new friend' process, I would tell her about the diet, and maybe show her pics of where you have come from weight wise. I'm sure she would understand completely and support you as all good friends should. Sometimes, being honest about these things with new friends can earn you that bit of trust and respect in your new blooming friendship :D

    :hug99: You WILL get back on the CD train hun, jump on board next to me - I have saved you a seat ;)

    Hugs x x x
     
  6. miss jelly tot

    miss jelly tot CWP Consultant

    Posts:
    2,596
    Likes Received:
    66
    Start Weight:
    13st12lb
    Diet:
    CWP
    Forget about it and start afresh. Join me today and we can help each other back on the wagon:hug99:

    Great advice too from everyone else
     
    Last edited: 19 April 2010
    Lily likes this.
  7. Stinkybreath

    Stinkybreath Size 14 here i come!

    Posts:
    1,081
    Likes Received:
    16
    Start Weight:
    14st7lb
    Current Weight:
    12st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st6lb(16.75%)
    Diet:
    CD
    Ok first of all, forget growing up, NEVER i will never give in!lol
    And do you know you were the first person to answer a post to me on CD and i have never forgotten that. It's scary that first post as it's like trying to get into a new gang,lol
    But you were lovely and made me feel like not only could i swap over but that i was welcome too!
    Please don't be too hard on yourself, we are only human after all and we all make mistakes hun. I hope you are feeling a bit happier Lily!
     
    Lily likes this.
  8. fed-up-and-fat

    fed-up-and-fat hoping for a good loss

    Posts:
    1,118
    Likes Received:
    30
    Start Weight:
    18st4lb
    Current Weight:
    13st7lb
    Lost(%):
    4st11lb(26.17%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    Oh Lily, massive hugs to you my friend. You are not alone in visiting binge central hunni, I think most of us have been there and it is a horrible place to go to.

    Get back to it hun, you can do it. You know you can.

    As for the exercise thing, well I can't stand the stuff. Is worst than swearing to me lol so I really admire you for doing the amount of walking you are doing. I am sure your colleague will totally understand hun if you cut down a little and I am sure that the friendship will continue.

    Love and hugs hun and well done for confessing - it really helped me yesterday and I feel so much more positive about things today

    Charlie xx
     
  9. X_Tasha_X

    X_Tasha_X Silver Member

    Posts:
    792
    Likes Received:
    25
    Aw lily hun ~hugs~ What a horrible time your having of late. Try not to let it get you down and upset. I know this diet is hard but we are all doing it for reasons just try think of when you get to goal hun. As for eating last night just draw a line under it and start a fresh as from now. What else can you do... dont get upset about it hun. Sending you some happy vibes to cheer you up today (((((HappyVibes)))) xxx
     
    Lily likes this.
  10. Madferret

    Madferret Mad as a Hatter

    Posts:
    5,887
    Likes Received:
    149
    Start Weight:
    12st10lb
    Current Weight:
    12st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Dukan
    Ah Lily

    Can't add any more than what the others have already said, but the next time you feel like diving into that tin - get on here and we will talk you out it

    Here's to today !

    Tracy
     
  11. sasha63

    sasha63 I ♥ CD !!

    Posts:
    1,335
    Likes Received:
    35
    Start Weight:
    14st10lb
    Current Weight:
    14st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st2lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    meal replacement
    awww poor you dont beat yourself up about it l've had a few days of misery myself l know how you feel draw a line under blip and back on wagon your a great support to everyone lol
     
  12. vj

    vj Regular Member

    Posts:
    938
    Likes Received:
    19
    Start Weight:
    14st0lb
    Current Weight:
    12st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st3lb(8.67%)
    Diet:
    Slim & Save
    I think that's the problem for us. We are used to turning to food for comfort and now we can't so what are we supposed to do? I think many of us on the forum can truely sympathise with you and all wear the GUILTY AS CHARGED tshirts.
    Hope you can get back fast.
     
  13. redhead66

    redhead66 This will be my year

    Posts:
    355
    Likes Received:
    10
    Start Weight:
    19st9lb
    Current Weight:
    19st1.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st7.5lb(2.73%)
    Diet:
    Low carb
    Lily hun, don't beat yourself up... OK your route has just taken a slight detour via Binge Central, but it's not the end of the line, merely part of the journey to Slim Central :D

    If you're finding the walking too much, can you suggest to your colleague that you maybe do half the distance every day and then spend the rest of your lunchbreak chatting with a coffee? That way you'll still be getting your daily exercise and enjoyment chatting to your colleague, but hopefully you'll be less tired after work and more able to cope when the Binge Monster bites.

    Vicki x
     
  14. trisha

    trisha likes to post

    Posts:
    5,151
    Likes Received:
    47
    Diet:
    healthy eating
    Lily I did pretty much the same yesterday as well! I know I should have stopped myself even kept saying to myself " why are you eating this" but just kept on. Even been "picking" today :cry:

    But like others have said we just have to draw a line under it and start afresh, and get back on track. Come on we can do this
     
  15. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

    Posts:
    7,169
    Likes Received:
    106
    Start Weight:
    17st7lb
    Current Weight:
    11st6lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st0lb
    Lost(%):
    6st1lb(34.69%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    Lily if you're a mess can I please be a mess like you? I think you're wonderful - you've faced up to things that really you don't want to have to face up to, been a realist and tried to find alternative ways in which you can keep doing something that you want to continue.

    On top of that, you have a blip and what do you do - come on here, admit to it and then be open with your feelings as to whether you want to do SS ---- I have 1 blip and what do I do ..... disappear feeling like a failure until I finally decide to face reality 6 stone later!!!

    Please let me one day have your assertion and stamina...... and on top of that you're always there with kind, thoughtful and thoroughly good advice --- so please pick yourself up and see you for the real you, which is the way that everyone else sees and respects you - one blip does not a diet break!

    xx
     
    Lily likes this.
  16. scooterchick

    scooterchick She's me in a few months

    Posts:
    790
    Likes Received:
    18
    Start Weight:
    19st2lb
    Current Weight:
    17st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    16st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st12lb(9.7%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    Lily,

    Just wanted to send you a bog hug, everyone else has prety much covered everything, don't beat yourself, it's done now and you've listened to your body.

    Don't feel bad, your friend will understand. xxx
     
  17. fed-up-and-fat

    fed-up-and-fat hoping for a good loss

    Posts:
    1,118
    Likes Received:
    30
    Start Weight:
    18st4lb
    Current Weight:
    13st7lb
    Lost(%):
    4st11lb(26.17%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    Watch out Lily, you are going to get splattered by Anna rofl
     
  18. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Advert

  19. scooterchick

    scooterchick She's me in a few months

    Posts:
    790
    Likes Received:
    18
    Start Weight:
    19st2lb
    Current Weight:
    17st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    16st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st12lb(9.7%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    Yip, the movicol is certainly working! :D:D:D
     
  20. fed-up-and-fat

    fed-up-and-fat hoping for a good loss

    Posts:
    1,118
    Likes Received:
    30
    Start Weight:
    18st4lb
    Current Weight:
    13st7lb
    Lost(%):
    4st11lb(26.17%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    waterproofs needed I feel pmsl
     
  21. scooterchick

    scooterchick She's me in a few months

    Posts:
    790
    Likes Received:
    18
    Start Weight:
    19st2lb
    Current Weight:
    17st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    16st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st12lb(9.7%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    Lily,

    On behalf of Charlie and myself I would like to apologise for dragging your thread into the gutter (but hopefully it'll make you smile :D).

    Ok, where's the waterproofs..............
     
    Lily likes this.
  22. fed-up-and-fat

    fed-up-and-fat hoping for a good loss

    Posts:
    1,118
    Likes Received:
    30
    Start Weight:
    18st4lb
    Current Weight:
    13st7lb
    Lost(%):
    4st11lb(26.17%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge
    at least gutters are cleaner than your bog Anna.

    Lily, hope your day has been ok. Be strong and have a good weekend.

    Charlie xx
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...