Confession time and advice needed


Hi all,

I've hit a brick wall - literally! I'm afriad this is going to be another desperate post of a failed CDer!

I'm on day 119 of my VLCD and had been 100% good until last weekend when I had a 'planned break' so to speak - I went to stay with my bf and had to meet the parents so had a couple of meals - was really good at first stuck to meat and veg and on the Sat afternoon I went and picked up my before and after pics - looked pretty good and couldn't believe the difference - I cried outside boots! But then for some reason just went mad! I ended up eating that night a full tub of ice cream then had fish and chips the next day and a curry in the evening - madness - but I thought ok, stop and Mon-Thur of last week SSed completely.

This weekend however it all went wrong again! It was my mum's 40th birthday party on Fri - and me and bf went up to York to stay and I wore a nice LBD in a size 12 and most of my family who haven't seen me for ages (some even years!!) didn't recognise me and stuff so that was nice. Anyway I'd managed to forget my packs so me and bf went for tapas for lunch where I just had meat and salad then in the evening i had a few bits from the buffet but didn't go mad. On the Sat I had some chicken breast on the train to London then we decided to go for dinner as we had loads of time to kill. We both ordered mussels and chips - and I was going to give chips to bf - anyway mussels came and mine had little crabs in them - now I am a bit of a girl and I know mussels are from the sea and you should expect things like that but i didn't want to eat them and I threw this little strop - you've never seen anything like it - I had a big rant - like a child throwing her toys out of her pram which ended up with me in tears and shoving chips in my mouth!

I'd love to say this was it but then my connection to Norwich (bf was going to brighton) was delayed and it was all a bit of a nightmare - was in a bit of a sorry state anyway as was on my period and had messed up my pill and had just spent 2 days with my family who stress me out and ended up in floods of tears at the train station when bf left me to get on my 1st train of 4 of the evening - I left liverpool street at 8.30pm and got into norwich at 3am (it should have been a 2 hour journey!) Anyway - I had to wait for hours in loads of stations and at the last one I ended up giving into the vending machine and ate a bag of maltesers and a packet of crisps.

Now - i'd love to say this was it - but alas no (sorry if your bored!!) Yesterday I had to get up and go to work at 7 after 3.5 hours sleep (due to the trains) and I was on a trip (I take students on day trips) and I took my packs with me but for some reason decided not to eat them - so over the course of the sorry day I ate:

3 crossaints
1 chocolate brownie
1 ice cream
1 ham sandwich
1 more chocolate brownie
1/2 pack of dairy fudge
1 chicken and sweetcorn roll
1 packet of crisps
3 cans of coke zero.

Anyway - this morning not suprisingly I have put on 4lbs and weigh 11 stone again - which is where I was 3 weeks ago - what a waste of 3 weeks!!

Now - what to do from here - I have had a pack today and am drinking water but just not sure what to do - I had planned to ssing again but on Fri I am going to stay with bf for the weekend and were going to his best friends birthday meal where I have to eat (now logically I know I don't actually have to eat as I went for over 100 days where I didn't eat no matter what the occasion - but this is the first time I am meeting his friends and I want them to like me and not think i'm odd!) Now my question is - I'm about a stone from target and I had orginally wanted to do it all on ssing to do it quickly (I say quickly my weight loss is the slowest for miles around anyway) but I am now wondering if it would just be easier to move onto the 790 plan - that way I can eat on Fri without feeling like i'm cheating (I do tend to think if i'm cheating I might as well do it in style). Do people think this will work or should i keep ssing and then have a meal on fri and then carry on ssing?! (Not sure how easy this will be as bf parents may want to do stuff involving eating the rest of the weekend).

I also wondered about maybe moving onto WW or SW to lose the last stone as I just want to eat! I've never really had a problem before I managed 100 days without craving or wanting to eat and being really good in social situations and saying 'no thanks' now I just want to join in and be normal again and I'm fed up of eating packs all the time. But then I think I lost weight slow enough on CD imagine how slow it would be on WW.

I also want to start going to the gym and uping my exercise as my body doesn't look that bad anymore clothed but naked - yuk!! Get running girl!! So not sure whether moving onto a programme with more calories would be more benificial - the weeks on CD that I did up my exercise I lost nothing!!

Anyway - I'm not really sure what I'm asking - I think I thought writing down how terrible I am might help. I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts or advice to get me through the next couple of weeks (I have already decided to rethink at the end of Sept anyway as I start back at Uni and really, really don't want to be on packs alone then so was going to move to 790 or something at that point anyway).

Anyway - thanks for reading if you made it to the end - any thoughts greatfully recieved! :)

Tash xx
Hiya Tash

You have done so well so please do not start giving yourself a hard time!

I think maybe you should start going up through the steps of cambridge ie 790, 1000 etc or else start ww or sw, at least then you will have the all important control again. you are nearly at goal and it would be better now to have a positive way of eating rather than on and off cd.

hope you are feeling ok and please don't give urself a hard time

Gen xx
Hi Tash, :)

I don't know a lot about CD so I won't comment on what CD programme I think you should be following but I do think that as CD has been successful for you then perhaps you should be discussing this with your CDC to see what is best for you and not be swapping to SW or RC.

One thing that does jump out of your post at me is that you seem to be using occasions to justify eating again at the expense of what really mattered to you.

Pehaps it is time to reassess what you are aiming for and why to reinforce what you want and regain some motivation and direction. You seem to have lost you way a bit and I don't mean because you have fallen off the wagon a bit.

This now isn't about the food, this is about what you want.
Hi Tash,

Your a stone off target and what is your BMI and height?

It sound to me like a good idea to go and do the 790 meal plan as this will allow your body to begin to build muscle and you will still lose weight.

Also it will introduce food again slowly and you can then work up the steps in a more control way.

Part of the programme of a vlcd is to re introduce carbs in a controlled manner and it will make a difference to your weight.

Talk to your CDC and see what she plans for you.

It is common for your body to tell you when you have done enough and by the sound of what you are saying I think so.

You have done extremely well and with the extra protein and exercise you could well find you actually lose more weight next week than on SSing.

If your BMI is 25 you know you are not suppose to SS.

Love Mini xxx
Hi sweetie

Oh what a tough time you've had, i can really empathise!! I got to my goal weight after losing 6.5 stone on 1 May this year, and i'm really struggling with maintenance!! I can put on 7lbs and lose it again in just a few days!!

Firstly, what you've already done you can't change. So forget about it. All you can do is concentrate on the present and the future.

Sounds like you should do the 790 plan to me, if you do SW or WW you will put more weight on - you have to give your body time to get used to eating again and that will take time.

I know it feels like you've blown it but you so haven't - its just a teensy little blip - and in a week you can get back to where you were.

Just focus on getting back in the right mind frame and finding the right plan for the next few weeks until you get to goal weight.

You will always face a battle with weight gain my dear, we just need to accept that and manage it as best we can. I'm going through a feast or famine stage now, i'm either on 1000 cals or 10,000!! I tend to binge every 4/5 days so i need to deal with that. Today i will only be eating 400 calories to compensate for yesterday's binge and do you know what it wasn't even worth it yuk yuk yuk!

Just look at the bigger picture honey and don't focus on your recent blip.

Let us know if you decide to do 790...

Hi Guys,

Thank you for your replies.

Gen - I think your right I think I do need to regain some control - I'm a bit of a planner and I like to know exactly what I'm doing and I guess I need rules too - I started on LL and so the 100 days has always been a big thing for me - and I think i felt I could let things lapse a bit because I'd completed it.

Chicken - I actually wonder a lot of the time why I started - I've never really had that much of a problem being big - I had a bf that loved me a good circle of friends and was generally happy - the main reason for starting was that I was so confused about food - are carbs good are carbs bad - should i eat this avoid that?! I had gotten to the point where I woke up in the morning and didn't have a clue what to eat - I'm only young and had spent so much of my life on a diet that I didn't have a clue what a 'normal' person ate. To be honest though - i still don't!! I think the packs for me may have made things a little bit too easy if you know what I mean?! I also re-read my letter to myself on why I have started the other day and the main things were - to not push bf away (I was always wondering why he was with me and shouting at him for glancing at thin girls!) To wear fashionable clothes (well you know what I'm a size 12 now and the things that looked terrible on me when I was a size 22 still look terrible on me!! I think I have to accept that I'm shortarse with huge thighs!!!) to learn about eating (don't really feel i've mastered that one) and to become more active (I don't really think i've mastered that one either as I stopped exercising early as it seemed to slow down my weightloss). At no point though did i really think i have to lose weight because I look awful and I should be thinner- this weekend at my mum's was a bit of an eye opener though - i didn't really recieve many compliments on my weight loss more of a 'well thank godness for that' or 'well you shouldn't have let yourself get that big anyway' my uncle said 'well its about time you shifted a bit of weight isn't it?!' and i overheard my dad saying to my bf 'well i bet your pleased aren't you - at least she's lost some of that arse'. I also got a couple of 'well done you must feel so much better' and 'well done you must be relieved' - well I don't really feel that much better because I never really felt that bad in the first place! Does that make sense - yes I know logically I am much healthier now and I don't have as many calls from my gran telling me i need to lose weight caus I might drop down dead soon (followed by - would you like me to send you a cake?!) but I don't feel any different in myself really - should i?!

Mini - I wish my bmi was 25 no its still around 28! But my target has always been 10 stone and then I intended to lose 7lb after that through exercise etc to get me to a healthy BMI - I wonder if one of the reasons I'm stalling is because I'm not sure whether that will be enough and whether or not I'll need to lose stones more after that. I don't really want to lose much more - I really like my shape as it is - i'm really short and I fear that losing more will leave me looking like a school girl - i've already lost most of my bust which has in turn made my thighs look larger!! but at least I still resemble a woman! I was talking to my aunty at the weekend and shes the same height as me and is 9 stone - and she looks ridiculous! No offence but she buys her clothes in the kids section and you genuinely does look like a child - no hips, arse or chest - just a straight up and down figure - I don't want that - even if Mr BMI says thats the weight I should be!!

I think it probably is about time I moved onto the 790 plan - but I have a really hard time getting into ketosis generally and wondered if it would be worth doing a few days on SS first to make things easier?!

Anyway - sorry, again this post is a bit of a ramble!! I'm very confused!!
Thanks Karen too - sorry was typing at the same time as you!! i've drawn a line under the weight gain thing - I just feel like i'm in a bit of a cycle thats wasting my time and I defintately need to try something else

Well done on your weight loss - what a star - I'm sorry your having a hard time with management - they do say thats where the hard work begins - damn them!!

Thanks for replying :)

Tash x
Tash what an amazing post. Form the CD books I have read, moving up through the programmes will help to educate you on your diet.

My hubby is going through a similar dilema as you at the mo. He was diognosed with type 2 diabetes and didn't even know waht a carbohydrate was let alone a complex one.

He s gradually learing and the easier book I found to teach him was a 99p pocket one I got in Tesco about the GI foods. It listed stuff and out it into the green orange and red columns and he has found that great!

I hope you find what you are looking for and the forum is always here to help out where we can :D
Hi Tash,

I think you do still need to talk all this out with your counsellor as she knows you well by this stage and can give you a good over all picture, she has helped you get this far.

Remeber your thighs will come down in time...your legs have been carrying like my own...a lot of weight around, so naturally they have adapted to take that it will take them some months after losing the weight to find their new shape to carry the new weight...does that make sense?

When your glycogen store refills and there is a need to refill it the right way and introduce carbs gradually...

You will fill back don't panic!!! Exercise do go along way to reshape your body and that is where a good gym comes in with professionals to guid you through the exercise that will focus the bits you want to work on. It is amazing what you can dow with the right exercise.

We all have a fear of regaining the weight and this is again perfectly normal as we were fat and we don't want to be there again.

I must type up some information on carbs and I will put it in the health section as I feel there is naturally a lot of confusion out there. So will do that soon.

Love Mini xxx
I think some info on carbs would be great,

Tash you are so not alone in being confused about good carbs bad carbs and how to eat healthily, I think a book would be a great Idea and the one from Tesco sounds great, I going to buy it as soon as I can for when I go in to maintenece.

Can you also look back and think why you first ever started, do you have a diary that you keep or anything like that, when Im ready to chuck it all in that really does help me and give me a kick in the right direction.

Good luck in what every you choose, and also please keep us posted as I for one will struggle to go into maintence and love all points of view x
You've had some great advice and I cant really add anything new, but I just wanted to say good on you for posting!!

I imagine alot of people feel the same way but dont post - good luck in your decision and keep us updated on how things are going. :)
Hiya Tash

Yes I would say it is definitely time to jump on Cambridge 790. Have a read of your yellow Weight Care book on page 8 to get a feel for what this entails.

I would speak to your CDC about moving onto 790 to finish your weight loss and if you need any specific advice then please feel free to ask away.

hi i totally sympathise with you on this, i had an AWFUL week last week altho thankfully i stayed the same

Please dont give up and take the cdc's advice off here, and talk to your cdc!! thats what their there for to help you through the bad times

You are brilliant to of got through the 1st 100 days i cant even do that!!

we all have blips and its probably cause u are so close to the end it tempting to say i am happy with what i have lost so far so why not have a treat now!

stick in their we're backing you 100% AND well done in being honest and writing it all down,

i know it makes me feel better to write it down!
Hi Tash!

What can I say…I think you’ve had all the advice you could have wanted already! I really feel for you – I was like you, about a stone from target, thinking that I had achieved so much already so was it worth carrying on? The difference is that I was really unhappy at my starting weight of 13.1. You have to do what you think is right, you’re the only one that knows how your body feels and the correct weight for you. Speak to your CDC; they will be able to guide you more than most. Keep strong, and let us know what you decide.

Love Sarah x
Hi Guys - thank you all for your replies - I haven't been around the last few days - I haven't been online.

Just to let you know - I have been ssing since Monday - found it quite easy actually - last week I was so tired and miserable trying to get back into it but this week has been pretty easy - weighed in this morning and after 3 days am back to where I was - so have lost the 4'binge'lbs!!

I am going to start an AAM week tommorow to get me through all the social events I have coming up then think about moving up to 790 the week after.

I've also decided to start keeping a diary thread - as its about time and I reckon i'll need all the help I can get when I finally start to maintain - so folks, I'll hopefully see some of you on the other side!! :p

Tash xx
Well done for lasting the 100 days. Excuse the french but **** happens. I don't know anything about CD but I would heed the advice of the CDC above because they all know what they are talking about !!! I wish we had cambridge in Dublin, Ireland (maybe when I suceed on Lipotrim I will apply !!) Anyway off track completely........sorry.

Put the past behind you. There is nothing you can do about it.
Get back up on that horse and gallop for the last stone. Well done.


Just been reading through the posts, you've had lots of advice on the what to do front, I just wanted to add something on the shape front. I have been on various diets in the past and always found that when I reached target weight it was a few weeks before my body shaped "settled". So even if I lost from my bust it always reappeared, I seem to go back to my natural shape come what may.
It is harder to get clothes which fit nicely when you're thinner, your body doesn't conform to shapes as well so the fit has to be better. But when they do fit they look sooooo much better.
Hi Tash, firstly you need to celebrate what you have achieved and achieved you most definately have!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 100+ days ssing is not easy and requires focus and determination, you have done FANTASTIC so be very proud indeed. Keep your thoughts positive and in the forefront on your thinking, you are a successful slimmer, dont forget that important point!

From your post, I would say you need to move up the CD plan, then you can enjoy social occasions around food, making the right choices and still lose weight, without the negative and destructive feelings you have when you eat, those feelings do nothing for one's self esteem.

Apologies in advance but im now in danger of sounding like a CD advertisment, but really want you to avoid the CD pitfalls that i've experienced. :eek: I can't emphasise how important is it moving through each stage of CD, as it slowly re-introduces the body to conventional food which stabilises the body to prevent weight gain. I unfortunately made the mistake of devising my own plan once i'd reached goal, I just ate 'normally' but smaller portions ..........however the creep up the scales happened, after I promised that was not going to happen. :mad:

Talk with your CDC and choose which option is best for you. I wish you good luck xx