Confessions of a 'fat bird'!

[Louise24]

altho he was honest and told me all about it and he ended up sleeping with a lass on thurs and fri night after he had been drinking he said...it was thursday i turned him down and kicked him out...he said he was feeling sorry for himself and she offered it. We did have a good talk and im glad he was honest about it all, but it still hurts...certainly didnt take him long to move on! He has asked to come back round tonight too and i agreed, but im seriously thinking of changing my mind! Why do i keep doing this to myself :cry:

He was up for work at 5am and its taken all ive got not to hit the munchies this morning, just feeling real crappy, if i hadnt of kicked him out he wouldnt of gone with her!

Hun, i don't know the full story, but just from reading this I've come to the conclusion he is an ar*e and you are blaming yourself for the fact he is an ar*e...

He is trying to turn it round so you feel it's your fault he's gone off and slept with someone else, don't let him manipulate you hun, kick him to the kerb!

(P.S - I also know how easy it is to sit here going "why is she letting him etc", as I don't take my own advice very often).

(P.P.S - well done for sticking to plan) xxx

 

[Linzi_C]

I know your right i really do....my head is very clear on that and i totally agree with what you said....but my heart wont agree, and lately it seams to be the stronger of the two!

Ive since found out that he heard i was meant to be on a date sat night and didnt like it...guess he dont want me but dont want anyone else hav me either lol....i will learn one day

Thanks for all the support/advice girls, i really do appreciate it xx

 

[Linzi_C]

grrr!! ive done so so well sticking to plan today and now i just sat and ate a 12 syn chocolate bar!! and i really want another one....its sat next to me looking at me sho9uting eat me eat me....im caving in

 

[Linzi_C]

Im begining to think starting this journey while in this frame of mine maybe wasnt one of my best ideas! Dont get me wrong im not doing bad, i just wake up and think...oh god here we go again!

Mind you i didnt get the best wake up call this morning, was up half the night with my 10 months old been sick....so put her in with me and at 7am the threw up all over me...great! So ive not got 2 lots of bedding to wash and my tumble dryer blew up yesterday so got no way of drying them Its also snowing real bad again but schools are still open so got to drag her out in all this snow and try and push her buggy through about 6inches of it to get my lad to school, then do it again at dinner to take my other daughter!

And to top my morning off im absolutely starving!! lol and got nothing in cause its my shopping day can someone wake me up when its all over and im a nice n happy size 14!!! oh and its warm!

 

[Linzi_C]

but on a happier note i didnt have that second twix last night lol

 

[EmmyLou30]

Well done for not eating the other twix! And think of all the extra calories burned pushing the buggy with the resistance of the snow

I wake up most days thinking 'here we go again' on the diet front. Go to the fridge, get my muller light and baby bels and satsumas and start all over again with the best of intentions! It's more of a routine now but I still feel like it's a constant battle every day and I'm being punished for something

 

[Linzi_C]

Thanks hun...nice to know im not the only one feeling like that Its gonna be worth it in the end!

Must say now im up n been out and got a bit more motivated im feeling better....just got in from shopping so my cupboards are bulging and my purse is empty! This healthy eating is so expensive

Breakfast = (burnt) cheese on toast lol (hex a+b)
Lunch= Mugshot pasta and pineapple finger
Dinner = Roast Pork, sw chips, carrots and peas
Snacks....yogurt, fruit, 2 x alpen lights (6 syns)

Not sure what syns ive used but will update when ive worked it out

Pushing that buggy through the snow was awful...got it all to do again at 3pm too *sigh* i should be a size 8 by the time this snow has gone lol

 

[Linzi_C]

Whoo hooo we got well over a ft of snow and are expecting at least another 12 inches today!!! There is a great big alsation walking the street outside and the snow is half way up its belly, its really struggling to walk in it.....cant believe some people....who on earth would let there dog out in this lot!! Im gonna take a pic of the snow in a bit and load it up here.....i dont remember ever seeing it as bad as it is now! Even my kids dont want to play in it lol, they are snuggled up on sofa with hot chocolates loving the fact there school is closed lol.

On a positive note it gives me no excuses not to get in the kitchen and cook today So my plan is as follows...

Breakfast = Yogurt with banana and grapes
Lunch = Mackrel kebabs followed by fresh pineapple
Dinner = Shepherds pie with a carrot and sweede topping and parsnip chips followed by errrm not sure yet but going to look through recipies and make something tasty
Snacks - cheese (hex a) Alpen lights x 2 (hex b) and fruit

Got my baby poorly today too, and im officially out of clean bedding!! 7 times in the last 2 nights ive had to change my bed with her been sick and her bed 4 times!! My tumble dryer blew up the other day so ive got no way of getting it dry quick enough to change it again!! Its a nightmare.....im living on about 3 hours sleep over 2 days and am whacked! lol Thankfully she is going to her dads tomorrow morning till friday tea time...then going back sat morning till sun tea time so i will get a break and a chance to sleep! Roll on tomorrow lol...as awful as that sounds...bless her, shes only 10 month she cant help it lol

 

[Linzi_C]

Well ive well n truely blew today lol....i dont know whats wrong with me but i feel so so hungry. Ive not stopped eating and i still want something else!

I had whats on the list plus, 4 x ryvitas with jam and a ham sandwhich.....ummmm what can i have next!!

My class has been cancelled tomorrow too...at least i got an extra week to work it off again lol...im gonna go running in the 2ft of snow i got here that should do it lol

 

[mod-karen79]

just had a look at your food diary - you could plan some filling meals so that you're not tempted to snack/cheat when you get hungry.

breakfast: bacon, sausages (there's some free/low syn ones but i only know about quorn), eggs, beans, mushrooms and tomatoes.

lunch: jacket potato with cheese (A), tuna mayo (0.5 syns per tbsp for extra light mayo) and a big side salad

dinner: spaghetti bolognaise and side salad

all these meals are really filling and are pretty much guaranteed to leave you feeling satisfied then you can treat yourself with your syns guilt free!

 

[Linzi_C]

My only problems with having big breakfasts like that is i dont have time when i first get up with getting kids sorted for school, so my the time i have time to make it im too full for lunch then dont eat till tea time lol....i think i might have to start having some porridge or something aswell as my fruit n yogurt.....Im never normally this hungry, i think cause ive been stuck in all day and the snow been like it is is making me think about food more lol. Im gonna be stuck in for the next few days too....not good!

 

[Linzi_C]

We are snowed in again! This was taken yesterday and we have had more snow overnight and this morning so its even worse now

 

[JoRoger]

Wow that is a lot of snow!

Have just read elsewhere that you have given up drinking Coke - well done, it really is the best thing that you can do for yourself and your diet, have you noticed the difference yet? You will have a few nasty symptoms for a while but it will be worth it in the end, I haven't drunk any for nearly a year which I'm very proud of, its the only thing I've successfully managed to give up.

 

[Linzi_C]

Hiya... Ive been having awful headaches and i assume its from stopping the coke, i do feel better for drinking more water tho! lets hope it shows more this next few weeks....altho i havnt stopped alltogether but this week ive only had 3 cans, which is fab for me lol. We are now snowed in so ive not been able to go buy any which i a good thing, but ive not had any for 2 days now and im craving it like mad!

Im proper gutted with myself today, these last two days i have well and truely fell off the wagon so to speak. It's because im stuck in and cant go anywhere, its driving me nutty!! Group has also been cancelled for tonight so ive just weighed myself on my scales and its showing ive lost 2lb....but mine could eb different from groups so im not taking it as 100%.

Im going to wake up in the morning in a whole new frame of mind cause if im honest i feel so shitty for eating crap food today! and its not even cause ive got nothing else in cause my cupboards/fridge is full! its just pure comfort eating from been snowed in!....that and the kids wanted to bake today so ive eaten 4 biscuits we made too

come on snow go away!!!

 

[Linzi_C]

New day, back on track and feeling positive...for now lol We are still snowed in tho but im going to attempt to walk to my mums with the kids later, shes only round the corner but i need to get out this house!

Also i got asked on a date last night Its a guy ive known for ages and i know he has always liked me but i was with my ex. Well he asked if he could take me out and i said yes....Now im well nervous lol he only lives down the road so i see him most days anyhow, he is coming up this morning to make me breakfast and dig me a path out so i can leave the house...bless him. The good thing is he has seen me looking my worst, first thing in a morning and when very drunk and when poorly....and he is still interested lol

Anyhow my plan for today..

Breakfast - Bacon and mushroom sarnies (hex b )
Lunch - tuna and pasta salad followed by fresh fruit salad
Dinner - Pork chop, jacket potato, carrots and broccoi followed by yogurt or fruit
Snacks - cheese, yogurt, fruit

Need to use my sins somewhere too

Also this new guy has agreed to join the gym with me to keep me motivated....and i know even if it doesnt work out as a couple (altho we are taking things real slow) he will still come with me as a mate feeling lots more confident after talking with him last night

 

[mod-karen79]

awww bless - sounds like he's a catch! digging out your path and all that! once you've bagged him don't let him get lazy though lol!

 

[Linzi_C]

yea he is lovely bless him, and the best of it is he is already a friend and i know no matter what does or doesnt happen with us, it will stay that way too

 

[Freshstartnewme!]

Hiya! :wavey:

I don't know if you remember but you kindly gave me some very supportive words a few days ago on one of my posts when I was having a 'wobble!'

Just wanted to pop by and say thank you very much, I've had a really good week and about 2lbs so feel much more in control now I am back on slimming world. Weight watchers definitely wasn't for me!

I'm glad I found your diary to snoop around it! I like to look through them after work with a cuppa

How did you date go? He sounds really nice, it is sometimes nice when you are friends with someone first, sometimes things just happen naturally, and like you say if you found it didn't work romantically, you still have a good friend.

Anyway just popped in to say hiya and I shall be snooping now I have added your diary to my list! Hope you are well and staying warm in the snow and thanks again for the other day.

Claire x

 

[jockiejoe]

Good woman Linz, let it flow nh see where the stream takes you. Sometimes the cog of life fall into place. Best wishes now n in future

 

[Linzi_C]

Good morning

Not a problem Claire, really pleased you have had a good week, way to go on the loss! He came round and cooked me breakfast and cleared a pathway so i could get out my garden for me bless him, then came in to warm up and we played a couple of board games with the kids which was real nice. He was going to come round last night aswell but i told him not too as i dont want to rush straight into things. But we are doing something tonight, i think we are going bowling

I took a sneaky peek this morning after having a couple of really bad days of eating rubbish this week (snacking) and its showing ive put back on the 2 lbs i lost last week already! Its definately give me the motivation to get back on track today! Its weekend again though which means my kids go to their dads this morning and dont come back till tomorrow night....i hate cooking just for myself! but im going to try. The dinner i ended up having last night was gorgeous so im going to have that again today for my lunch..

So my plan today is...

Breakfast - porridge with grated apple and cinnamon and yogurt (hex a+b)
Lunch - Beef teriyaki and a piece of fruit
Dinner - Beef stew with loads of veg and parsnip chips (gone mad on these lol)

Snacks - fruit, yogurt