Confessions Of A Lapser

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Polly740, 2 December 2008 Social URL.

  1. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    I thought it best to come clean, even though I really don't want to!
    I lapsed over the weekend, I won't go into details but it was a monumental one.

    I'm not quite sure what happened or how it happened - but I'm blaming bloody milk week! Rebellious child took over and I found myself eating anything I could get my hands on.

    So - I have confessed. It doesn't make me feel better but I think it's best to be honest. I'm now back on it for the rest of the week (my last week) and determined to get through it.
     
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  3. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Well done for coming clean I know for me that was the hardest bit, it would have been so easy to keep it to myself and go back to my secret eating habits, you are doing amazingly well and should be so proud of yourself!

    Emma xXx
     
  4. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    Thank you Emma - I really appreciate that. Nobody could be harder on me than I've been on myself!

    I know I just need to put it behind me and move on. We live and learn eh?!
     
  5. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Be kind to yourself - you are learniing a new skill, and any errors along the way can serve as tools to help you learn this new skill. You'll get there- it was a blip, and its behind you now. And you are human, so be kind to yourself from here on - you've beaten yourself up enough already no doubt.

    You said its your last week? Do you mean in Foundation, or totally?
     
  6. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    Thanks BL ;)

    It's my last week of foundation and then I'm moving on to "healthy eating" and stepping up the exercise.

    The financial aspect of LL is very constricting at the moment, as we are renovating our house and the OH is self employed with not much work on!

    I'm just hoping that I've learnt enough to take with me into the future. I will probably consider SW or WW as I think I probably need some kind of stable plan to work to.

    My head is all over the place at the moment. I'm just so glad that I have minimins!
     
  7. annaphylactic

    annaphylactic Guess who's back...?

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    Hi Polly - you're going through the mill aren't you?? :( Well done coming clean about the lapse - it really has been the week for it, and whilst I've stayed on track, I have had some very vicious thoughts going on tempting me from the road I'm on....

    Good luck with your last WI, and hope you do well on your healthy eating kick - DEFINITELY stay in touch with how you are getting on (sans food talk though obviously!)

    Out of WW and SW - whilst I prefer the theory behind SW ref food combining etc, I would probs go WW, purely because SW doesn't lay as much importance on portion control and it's easy to let things slip ("I'm on a red day therefore I will have TWELVE steaks" etc), thus not really teaching you about how much food we should etc... either that or just grab a Low GI book and do it your own way... much cheaper than weekly meetings, and I think that is pretty much the way RTM teaches us to eat anyway - it is common sense healthy eating after all :)

    A xx
     
  8. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    You are right Anna. I will speak to my LLC on Thursday and see what she thinks about it.

    I will still be lurking around here - you can't get rid that easily!
     
  9. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Good luck Polly

    Whatever you decide to do.
    Maybe the lapse was a reaction to knowing you are about to stop LL?
    I know finances are tough for lots of people at the moment, especially self-employed. I thank my lucky stars daily at the moment that my job is relatively safe and my mortgage is relatively low!
     
  10. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    You may be right SB, although I still have a couple of stone that I'd like to lose...I really don't want to be complacent about it.

    I need a kick up the arse to be honest...it's just a tough time at the moment.

    I am sure that I'll get through it, I will be the person I want to be - I have plenty of determination!

    Thank you all for your comments, it's really nice to have the support here that I don't get from elsewhere ;)

    xx
     
  11. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    More stuff coming out...............

    Hi Polly
    Every time you say something a little more hint as to how you feel comes through.
    I don't know where it is you are not getting support from (maybe partner, family, friends, home?), but I wonder if you were getting more support and encouragement, would you still be considering stopping LL?
    When I started I really thought I wouldn't be able to continue past Foundation due to the cost, but because I was doing so well it became my top priority to find the money and carry on with LL.
    I'm so glad I did because without our health, happiness, self-esteem and confidence - where is the quality of life?
    Also just coming up to Christmas/New Year dodgy time temptation wise and very often emotional too for many of us.
    Just a couple of stone left to lose - are you sure you have to stop LL or can you stay with us?
    xxxxxxxx

    :girlpower:
     
  12. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    You are obviously a very intuitive person SB!

    I had my last weigh in last night and lost another 2lbs...which I am happy with after the weekends c*ck up! I've now lost 4 stone in 14 weeks - and I am so happy about that.

    I am terrified about managing my weight on my own, let alone lose more...but I think I will give it a couple of weeks and see if I can maintain for that time with no obvious blips.

    To be honest with the expense of the impending time of the year (Grrr@ Christmas!!) together with the current financial difficulties of the world and trying to renovate the house (or at least the main living areas in time for Christmas), it makes spending the money a bit harder. It just seems like I do nothing but spend and it is getting very dicey on the cash front at the moment.

    I hate to moan because I know others are in the same or a worse position than me, it's just that I feel that I need to justify the expense to myself - which I'm finding hard to do. Maybe I'm looking at myself as being selfish!

    My LLC has said that I can go back at any time - she has been amazing. It is an offer that I will very seriously consider taking if I feel like I'm faltering on my own.

    It's a bit of an internal battle. One part of me says "but what about all the work that still has to be done in the house? How can you afford to pay for everything?" and the other half of me says "Stuff it - do what's best for you and sod the house!".

    ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!

    I'm doing what I feel is best at the moment :sigh:
     
  13. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    That's all you can do

    The best with your situation and intuition.
    Good luck xxxx
     
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