Step 1 Sole Source Confessions of a serial CWP returner

Oh boooo

Not great. Bloated to death today. Messed up my water yesterday and now I'm paying the price. I have a glass and a 2lt bottle on the go but dreading weigh in tomorrow A) I'm due on. And b) I know I've been nibbling.

I have thought long and hard about what you said Jo. My eating is almost a "eff you I'm gonna eat" eating. Almost in defiance of something. It's like a punishment almost. How messed up is that. I was booked for cbt ages ago and I went for a few sessions before I went back to work and it worked.

Honestly I think the buck stops with me though. I can choose to remain overweight and unhappy or I can change . I really don't like being unhappy and I don't like being overweight. So it's time to change!
 
I totally get it. I'm a bit of a control freak, and somehow, saying 'f*** you I'll have what I want' to the rational voice in my head makes me feel in control of my choices, even though my eating is totally out of control. The only person I punish though, is me.

And sometimes, when you're successful and used to being on top of everything, its almost a relief to be out of control. So odd.

How was today in the end?
 
Morning Nat!

I'm not weighing today, but I'm going to pull it all back and weigh next week. Fingers crossed it'll be a STS or a loss if I'm really lucky. I don't want to see a gain . . . It'll be too disheartening.
 
Hello ladies!!!!

Mel - your diary moves so fast. What plan are you on?

Jo - it was a slow descent into the darkness yesterday but I'm ok today. Staying strong!

Feel like I've lost some bulk even though I'm due on. So that's a plus!
 
Thats definitely good, I hate feeling fat AND bloated! How has the rest of your day been? Hope you're feeling a bit happier.
 
bettiesrevenge said:
Hello ladies!!!!

Mel - your diary moves so fast. What plan are you on?

Jo - it was a slow descent into the darkness yesterday but I'm ok today. Staying strong!

Feel like I've lost some bulk even though I'm due on. So that's a plus!
Click to expand...

Hi - I'm using S & S to help me stay low carb/low cal. I really need to pick something more strict and stick to it.
 
Hi Nat, are you hovering?

Think you may be struggling as you're not here, but even if you're off plan, and need to be off plan for a while, if you need to vent or have a chat anytime I'm here. If not, thinking of you :)
 
Good morning Jo!

Well I lost 3 lb this week which as I'm die on I will take it. But DH was rushed to hospital on Tuesday night with suspect appendicitis. So I have been on pins since!!! They have don't operated yet as they also discovered he has a heart defect so he is in with the cardiologist today to find out what is happening.

Current eating a mix a mouse so I'm ok!!!!
 
bettiesrevenge said:
Good morning Jo!

Well I lost 3 lb this week which as I'm due on I will take it. But DH was rushed to hospital on Tuesday night with suspect appendicitis. So I have been on pins since!!! They have not operated yet as they also discovered he has a heart defect so he is in with the cardiologist today to find out what is happening.

Current eating a mix a mouse so I'm ok!!!!
Click to expand...

That's due on and not!!!
 
Morning,

I hope DH will be okay and you get things sorted soon. Wow! One thing after another.

Great loss - due on or not.
 
Goodness me, really sorry about that :( Hope you've had some good news since your post.

Huge congrats on your loss, when stuff as stressful as that happens its easy to just give up so even more amazing to have stuck to it.

Hope both you and your husband are as OK as you can be.
 
Back in the fold...

He's been discharged. Now back to business!
 
Whoop! Hope you're feel happy and strong :)
 
Was it appendicitis? Did they remove his appendix?

Hope you're doing ok, hunni xx
 
Hey lily Jo and mel...

I've joined that group...though I'm the first one to self sabotage in these things!

It was an "inflamed appendix" not quite appendicitis which is odd as I thought there was only one form of appendix infection. He was in for 5 days on an IV antibiotic and discharged on massive amounts of amoxiclav. They don't want to opperate on him until they know more about his heart issue which is now on the second 24 ECG.

Honestly as Lilly and mel know I've had the crappest few years I have to congratulate myself that I'm putting one foot infront of the other sometimes.

This weight issue is very much interlinked with that.

Anyway ladies... It's 10 weeks until I plan to be going to my in laws. 10 weeks to shift 4 stone. I know it's possible because I've done it before.

The question is.... Can I do it now?
 
Yes you can. One day at a time. You don't want to get to the end of that 10 weeks and wish you'd use the time wisely. As you've done it before, you know that if you get through 7 days, you'll be fine from there.

Remember that amazing buzz you get from losing weight, seeing people you haven't seen for ages and them saying how gorgeous you look!
 
Hello forgotten diary

Still struggling to get back into it.

I've had a bit of a rough trot. OH is under investigation for the heart condition that killed Steven gately. So I've been frantic.

If course cue lots of emotional eating. But I'm bck on the slim pods and I have found rhubarb and custard cherry chocolate packs In slim and save which I can make up into mouse when I'm feeling naughty.

Figure as long as I keep it VCLD the odd extra pack won't hurt.

Got to focus now...
 
Hi Nat!

That sounds so hard, and anything you need to do to get through it is what you need to do.

It sounds like you're back in a good VLCD headspace, and you're totally right that if you need an extra pack thats the best option. If you need some company on your first couple of weeks we're starting a new challenge:

http://www.minimins.com/cambridge-d...enge-start-date-25-05-14-a-2.html#post7319630

Hope you've had a good day today :)
 
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