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Confidentiality at class???

#1
Hi All

I'm writing here because I'm really annoyed and wondering if I'm being unreasonable.

I joined class with my future mother in law ages ago, she's at target now but I've got a lot more than her to lose. This week I just nipped in to get weighed and I have sts for 3 weeks in a row now. I left straight away as I had stuff to do.

Just had future MIL on the phone to tell me that the consultant said that I'd stayed the same again and what I should be doing is X, Y and Z and her friend Mary said that I should be doing A, B and C.

I'm really annoyed that my progress is being discussed like this when I am not there. I thought it was supposed to be confidential? Am I right to be annoyed by this or am I over reacting?
 
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BikerAngel

Silver Member
S: 11st0lb C: 11st0lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 26.4 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#2
I would be annoyed too, different if you were there and wanted some help and advice but why say when you were not even there.
 
#3
Thanks for that, I thought I was going mad. I don't mind talking about it when I'm there but I feel like people have been talking about how badly I've been doing behind my back. I was actually pleased with a STS this week at it's time of the month and I usually put on 3lbs!
 

BikerAngel

Silver Member
S: 11st0lb C: 11st0lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 26.4 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#4
I have been in that position myself and don't like it so know where you are coming from and well done on the sts
 

Micci

Gold Member
S: 17st2lb C: 16st2.5lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 36.6 Loss: 0st13.5lb(5.63%)
#5
Hmmmmm, Personally I would expect it to be confidential but I'm not sure I've seen it in any of the SW literature. I would expect the consultant very much had your best interests at heart and wanted to support you via someone she saw as family for you. I'm not sure from your post if your future MIL had been taken aside privately to be given some advice to pass on to you or if you had been generally discussed in the group. If the latter I'd be livid but the more private approach doesn't seem as bad to me even if not quite the right thing.

aha, I've been to the SW website Slimming World - a world of support, a world of difference

and it says "Your weight always remains private and confidential."

Anyway, however it was handled you were unhappy about it and you have every right to say so to the consultant, or even take it further up the chain to head office if you really wanted to.
 

ginlin

Better to Drink your Syns
S: 12st10.5lb C: 11st12lb G: 11st6.5lb BMI: 26.8 Loss: 0st12.5lb(7%)
#6
I would be the same as you!
I don't think that it is fair for the C to discuss you without being present
 

HPSaucy

Will get there one day!
S: 17st8lb C: 14st8.5lb Loss: 2st13.5lb(16.87%)
#7
When I was paying last week I saw confidentiality certificates on the desk, first time I've seen them, each of the social team had one.

I'm sure they are not supposed to discuss it with anyone, the C probably thought she was helping and perhaps thought you hadn't stayed as you hadn't lost.

I know I would be upset too but try and look at is a positive thing and that you have people who want to support you. Hypocritical I know as if someones upset me in the past I've gone and eaten crap but why don't you hold your head up high and show them you can do it.

Good luck x
 
#8
I don't want to kick up a fuss, my consultant is quite new and I really like her. She has rang me in the past to find out how I am doing which was lovely. I get the impression (although I did not stay on the phone long enough to ask) that it was discussed generally, it was certainly in front of Future MIL and her friend, who is a complete stranger to me.

I think I may consider a group which does not have MIL in it, as she quite often gets me down about this, it it quite possible that she asked about my loss
 

ermintrude

Gold Member
S: 27st8.5lb C: 17st3lb G: 16st7.5lb BMI: 36.6 Loss: 10st5.5lb(37.65%)
#9
That's definitely not right, usually when they read the names out and the person isn't there thats it, end of, you dont read the weight out, just on to the next person, it's nothing to do with anyone else unless you want it to be. It's definitely not appropriate to be talking about what you 'should have' done when you're not even there.
 

Funky_Munky

Put the kettle on
S: 10st12lb C: 10st12lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#10
I would be annoyed!! How does she know what you should be doing wrong if you werent there to say?! I would ring her and say you werent happy!!
 

ginlin

Better to Drink your Syns
S: 12st10.5lb C: 11st12lb G: 11st6.5lb BMI: 26.8 Loss: 0st12.5lb(7%)
#11
:)My C only reads out the results of the people who remain in class, she does however, sometimes mention, not by name, but someone who has had a good loss but never stays at class:)
 
#12
If I'm honest I'm feeling really low about this whole thing and this is just the straw that broke the camels back. I'm ready to just pack in. Even when I do do well I'm compared to her as she is at target and stuff. the words "well, what is she doing that you have not" have been said in the meeting before, when I had a 2.5lb loss but she had a 4lb. I'm just sick
 

Funky_Munky

Put the kettle on
S: 10st12lb C: 10st12lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#13
Greenfae said:
I don't want to kick up a fuss, my consultant is quite new and I really like her. She has rang me in the past to find out how I am doing which was lovely. I get the impression (although I did not stay on the phone long enough to ask) that it was discussed generally, it was certainly in front of Future MIL and her friend, who is a complete stranger to me.

I think I may consider a group which does not have MIL in it, as she quite often gets me down about this, it it quite possible that she asked about my loss
Yes but even if your mil asked, your consultant should still be advising her its confidential!
 

Funky_Munky

Put the kettle on
S: 10st12lb C: 10st12lb BMI: 27.8 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#14
Greenfae said:
If I'm honest I'm feeling really low about this whole thing and this is just the straw that broke the camels back. I'm ready to just pack in. Even when I do do well I'm compared to her as she is at target and stuff. the words "well, what is she doing that you have not" have been said in the meeting before, when I had a 2.5lb loss but she had a 4lb. I'm just sick
I can see how you feel with this actually hun, sorry for my above post. I go with my mil too and the consultant assumed she was my mum (i was horrified!!), then one week my mil put on four pounds, the c told me off and asked me to do a food diary too when i had maintained and id told her it was cos of a night out. I think they make the assumption cos your related you must live in the same house and eat the same things???!!!!
 

NiaX

Silver Member
#15
Your actual weight is confidential but I couldn't see anywhere that it says your weekly result will not be shared.

However, from a common sense and sensitivity point of view, it should not be discussed without you being there. You have said that it is star week and no one could know this without you telling them, so any comments made or advice given is actually null and void!

I completely agree that your reaction is natural and I'd feel the same way. Maybe a different group is better. If you do not want to kick up a fuss, you could say that you have another event on the same night as your current WI but will just be switching to a different night.

Whatever you do, don't let this put you off! x
 

krupskaya

Gold Member
S: 12st12lb C: 11st4lb G: 9st11lb BMI: 28.4 Loss: 1st8lb(12.22%)
#17
I'd be very annoyed, why don't you drop your C an email letting her know how you feel.
I agree with Happy Holidays. Even though your going to join another group, your c needs to know that what she did was wrong as being new she may not even realise. If you don't then she'll be likely to do it to someone else, upsetting them too and perhaps even ending up in hot water with head office.
 

LittleFlutterby

Fluffy lil flutterby :)
S: 22st7lb C: 11st12.5lb G: 11st3lb BMI: 23.2 Loss: 10st8.5lb(47.14%)
#18
i would be upset too hun- that is completely justified

i would suggest, if you don't like going to that group, find another local one, if there is another one nearby (with a different C)

my C is awesome, and has been doing it for a while. but i would never ask about someone else's weigh in, because i know she wouldnt tell me anyways.

i asked my C on tuesday if another SW member had been to the morning WI, because i didnt know whether to wait for her or not,and she said she had- but i never dreamed of asking her how she got on- that would be for the member to tell me

*hugs* please dont give up because of this x
 

ColJack

Gold Member
S: 33st5.5lb C: 19st11lb G: 16st9lb BMI: 33.7 Loss: 13st8.5lb(40.75%)
#19
If the C mentioned you by name then I'd be annoyed, but if they just said "a lady who didn't stay has STS for 3 weeks in a row..." then it's fair enough advice.
They can't pass out advice if they could never refer to what "someone" else has done or has struggled with.

Sent from my iPod touch using MiniMins
 
#20
I had a situation at group that upset me a few weeks back where my discussed my target in front of mil she didn't say my weight but said if I wanted to enter a competition I would need to be a certain weight. Which I wasn't happy about as it let mil know I was more than that weight.
I contacted my c by text after lots of advice from on here.
She admitted she had assumed it was ok to discuss in front of family. I was glad I contacted her as she would now know that it wasn't ok to do so!
I used to attend group on my own for a long time and have found it difficult at times going with mil. If this is difficult for you and you could find a way of changing to a group where mil couldn't go to without it being too obvious or causing upset then I would do that.
 


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