Crisis on the horizon

[fatgirltrim]

Ok the title makes me sound dramatic but I need to unburden and explain.
my parents retired to goa 7 years ago and during that time I have visited at least 5 times. I have to older siblings who claim they can't afford to visit but still manage holidays to the Dominican republic and Egypt respectively. I do not have a good relationship with my parents but wanted to know that should they shuffle off this earth my conscience is clear. So last year we had a significant extension built with an overspend of 40k taking cost to 115k so I told my parents there is no way we can visit for a few years till back on track.as usual they didn't listen, so now they have decided to visit the uk, not a real problem but .... In 4 weeks time,! They have said stay with us , so I thought ok few days me few days siblings ... Oh no only us and to take them to visit siblings.
This sounds so callous but my mum will take over, criticise tell me when to go to bed etc and on top of that I know I will have to knock the diet on the head during the visit
please any ideas how to tweak plan for the 2 weeks, I'm so stressed already just knowing about upcoming visit that I wanted to just crack and eat carbs rubbish alcohol

Cheers and sorry for rant

 

[Big H]

You don't have to do anything you don't want to!!! Just stay on the plan!!

 

[WelshJojo]

You don't have to do anything you don't want to!!! Just stay on the plan!!

Ditto what Big H said! if they're coming to stay in your house then they should respect your life and the way you live it x

Sent from Jo's iPhone using MiniMins

 

[are we there yet?]

As the others have said I would'nt let the family affect your own choices, you have done well losing 16lbs.
Maybe instead of coming off the plan, you could make a plan to only eat what your allowed, say for breakfast shake or eggs, lunch chicken salad or shake, slim and save bar as a snack and veg and chicken for dinner? that way your still be on the plan and in ketosis and your family won't even notice? maybe it's wise not to say your doing a particular diet, just say your watching what you eat, and keep busy so you don't get distracted by food they might eat. Try not to let family stress get in the way of what you want to achieve.

 

[Karensplan]

Yep stick to plan!

 

[fatgirltrim]

Thanks guys,
apololgies if appearing somewhat psychotic, my parents will do it to me every time. When we have visited them to keep my sanity and to avoid confrontation I have stayed in a hotel, and only visit there home for a couple of days at a time.
anyway today is a new day, I have 4 weeks till there visit so will stick to it. Also as I work full time and go to college I will not be able to take time off during the visit as such short notice so will be able to stick to plan definitely Monday to Friday and then low carb high protein on weekends and hopefully do as much damage limitation as possible. Ok it's only 2 weeks out of my life and will just suck it up even if I stray a little.

Once again thanks for being there in my moment of insanity and near break down but good news stuck to plan yesterday with all your words of encouragement.

Fatgirltrim

 

[piggiemummy]

It's hard when you have parents who want to take over and control your life. Whenever I see my Dad it's always on his wife's terms, never ours, so I somewhat understand where you are coming from.

The plan isn't the easiest to tweak but providing if you eat out you can stick to protein and veg, it shouldn't be too bad. Perhaps a firm word with your Mum/Dad may do the trick.

 

[weasey]

In transactional analysis terms what you are describing is your mum being in 'controlling parent' ego state - where she controls everything and can also be very critical too. In response you enter your 'adaptive child' ego state where you do thongs to please her and to keep the peace which are not things that you want to do. This isn't a healthy situation as you obviously know. If you can deliberately take a step back and enter your adult ego state (where calm rational decisions are made without emotion) then you will be able to explain that you are not going to bed yet because you are not tierd, and that you are not eating that food because you are losing weight.

Believe me - I know how controlling some people can be and I can only imagine how difficult it was growing up with someone like that as your parent. That means that your patterns of behaviour are likely to be quite ingrained and difficult to break out of. However, always remember that this is your choice. You cannot choose her behaviour but you can choose your response to it.

Good luck.