Aww I'm glad things are starting to click - some of the exercises in the LL groups are REALLY good to getting to grips with the how/why/when/what's of the weight gains. Weight isn't just fat... it's a representation of how we've felt and what's hit us or influenced us to behave a certain way.
My boyfriend also loves me whether I'm thin or fat, he's a sweetheart - but he's got a weight problem too, he's a food lover! So when we eat - we eat lots together.. when we diet, we support each other too.
As for your child - erm, why do you allow it to talk to you that way? I would never have dreamed telling anyone they were fat at 9, that's a bit too old for such honesty (it's just being MEAN; I'd say that's acceptable up to the age of about 6). I'd have been clouted around the ear if I even thought of saying such a thing! I remember when I was about 5, I think my granny was taking me somewhere and I stared at a man in a wheelchair for a bit too long - she said 'Don't stare, it's rude. If you stare you'll end up that way too'. It's a scare tactic and slightly mean, but it worked.
I grew up with my grandparents (due to complications with parents), my granny was very chubby and my granddad was fine weight wise, but had diabetes/lack of teeth/broken leg-limp/eczema and only one lung that worked (Russian Gulag does that to people) - but, I'd never have told any of them ANYTHING to hurt them.
Sending you hugs as comments from loved ones (however young and innocent they may be) still hurt us the most!!
My dad's still overly critical of my weight (even having weight problems himself- cheeky sod!)
