Dannielleas diary, time for change.

[danniellea]

Treated to a meal out again...Sunday carvery! I opted for Turkey skipped the potatoes and piled the cabbage carrots and turnip. A wee bit of gravy and freshly made cranberry sauce... Oh and Yorkshire pud that I could have done without! But all in all it was gorgeous and aside from the Yorkshire healthy! I won't be needing anymore good today that's the best part of Sunday! If I'm hungry later it will be fruit!

 

[IrishLad92]

Brill keep it going Starting on Fri myself!

 

[danniellea]

Brill keep it going Starting on Fri myself!

I'm sure you will do fantastically good look x

 

[danniellea]

Ha! Just been informed my sister that was really unsupportive is now doing Cambridge... Double standards much...maybe I'm being childish but I'm just thinking to my self can you let me have anything?! She got blessed with the beautiful face tiny waste and has never had a weight problem she's never suffered from depression or been unpopular the cleaver one that never makes a mistake with a good job a man with a better job! Went shopping with her yesterday I had to get some new bras I've gone from a D cup to an A with losing all this weight and she laughed about it, calling me little boy boobies, talk about making me feel like I'm not a woman! Grr maybe it's a bit of jealousy, I don't think I'm ever going to be comfortable in my own skin. Even if I had a tummy tuck and a breast enlargement... I know it sounds supremely vain. Guess I'm just feeling a bit down and to be honest lonely as hell! Need to give my self a kick and be proud of my self, I need to learn to like my self.get back to working out and get some endorphins going!

 

[Fay737731]

Ha! Just been informed my sister that was really unsupportive is now doing Cambridge... Double standards much...maybe I'm being childish but I'm just thinking to my self can you let me have anything?! She got blessed with the beautiful face tiny waste and has never had a weight problem she's never suffered from depression or been unpopular the cleaver one that never makes a mistake with a good job a man with a better job! Went shopping with her yesterday I had to get some new bras I've gone from a D cup to an A with losing all this weight and she laughed about it, calling me little boy boobies, talk about making me feel like I'm not a woman! Grr maybe it's a bit of jealousy, I don't think I'm ever going to be comfortable in my own skin. Even if I had a tummy tuck and a breast enlargement... I know it sounds supremely vain. Guess I'm just feeling a bit down and to be honest lonely as hell! Need to give my self a kick and be proud of my self, I need to learn to like my self.get back to working out and get some endorphins going!

Don't think of it as double standards...think of it as: you were right, she was wrong!!! Even though she would never say that to you herself you can know that truth and remind yourself it every time she talks about the diet! The word hypocrite comes to mind...!

Both of my sisters are tall, georgous, skinny! I always felt like the ugly duckling of the pack, even with all the weight loss I am still a good 3 sizes from anyone else in my family (think they are all a 10). Now I have lost some weightI think I have gone down a size or two and let's say...am lower than I would like. I still look in the mirror and don't like what I see, not sure I ever will...

BUT...you have posted some really lovely pictures on here since you started and I can honestly say I wish I was as pretty as you are!!!

 

[danniellea]

Don't think of it as double standards...think of it as: you were right, she was wrong!!! Even though she would never say that to you herself you can know that truth and remind yourself it every time she talks about the diet! The word hypocrite comes to mind...! Both of my sisters are tall, georgous, skinny! I always felt like the ugly duckling of the pack, even with all the weight loss I am still a good 3 sizes from anyone else in my family (think they are all a 10). Now I have lost some weightI think I have gone down a size or two and let's say...am lower than I would like. I still look in the mirror and don't like what I see, not sure I ever will... BUT...you have posted some really lovely pictures on here since you started and I can honestly say I wish I was as pretty as you are!!!

she is a pain in the arse! I think she just likes to put me down, some strange power trip thing maybe... I think with being over weight we turn in to our own worst critic and hold on to the ugly things people have said, if we can't let go of that ugliness that's all we see?! Or maybe it's a bit of depression? Thank you, I think it will always be something I carry with me. Base far to much of my self worth on what others think of me, I don't want to feel like this I should be proud and happy with my self, I'm just not sure how to let go, if that makes any sense? Xx

 

[Fay737731]

she is a pain in the arse! I think she just likes to put me down, some strange power trip thing maybe... I think with being over weight we turn in to our own worst critic and hold on to the ugly things people have said, if we can't let go of that ugliness that's all we see?! Or maybe it's a bit of depression? Thank you, I think it will always be something I carry with me. Base far to much of my self worth on what others think of me, I don't want to feel like this I should be proud and happy with my self, I'm just not sure how to let go, if that makes any sense? Xx

With regards to your sister remember that:
Her words are now all she is allowed to eat
She is jealous of how well you have done, that's why she wants to give it a try (lets hope she fails so we can be as supportive of her as she has been to you)

I'm not sure how to help with the self worth bit as I don't exactly practice what I preach in that respect but I hope we one day both get over it...

 

[danniellea]

I'm sure it will all come with time, learning to love and accept your self must be one of the hardest life lessons to learn

 

[CrazyDiamond]

I'm sure it will all come with time, learning to love and accept your self must be one of the hardest life lessons to learn

Especially when we all haven't done that - probably ever in our whole lives! I'm sure your son/daughter (sorry don't know what you have) loves you unconditionally so why not follow their lead, a child's love is honest and pure.... X

 

[Viita]

Pay her no mind honey! Jealousy is such a ***** but your better then that so rise about it xoxo

 

[danniellea]

Especially when we all haven't done that - probably ever in our whole lives! I'm sure your son/daughter (sorry don't know what you have) loves you unconditionally so why not follow their lead, a child's love is honest and pure.... X

heh I have a little girl it most defiantly is, why as adults do we find something so simple so hard to do! I think I'm having a bout of depression again thankfully doctor appointment on 15th, hopefully it will stop some of the whinging!!!

 

[danniellea]

Pay her no mind honey! Jealousy is such a ***** but your better then that so rise about it xoxo

I'm trying, I wouldn't say anything to her I think that's what she wants!



Keep telling my self this!!!

 

[Viita]

Love that! Keep your head up lovely! xoxo

 

[danniellea]

Well wi day! 2.5lb off! took my mother along today with them on about this filling and healthy plan all it did was confuse me so god knows what my mother thinks... I point blank refused to do it, what I'm doing now is working fine and I love it! Only 5lb from my ww goal.....hopefully by the end of January I'll be down to 8.7 one thing that kinda annoyed me was my mother poking me in the chest and saying ohh I can see your rib cage... Was just thinking whattttt? No, no you can't! Infact here can anyone see the top of my rib cage sticking out?! Pfft I certainly can't!

 

[danniellea]

Well having a chat with my mother We decided points would work better for her! She is 5ft 7 and weighs 15stone I figured her points to be around the 28 mark and told her to get the app as that will give her the actual points allowance. I personally don't like the "filling and healthy" plan. I may not fully understand it... I just feel any plan that says unlimited amount of potatoes pasta and rice simply won't work, for one it doesn't actually mean unlimited at all, 60g of pasta is a large portion! But if it says unlimited then people will pile it on... This is the reason I hate slimming world lol. And the most filling thing you can have is protinne (ignore my spelling). I think it's misleading I really don't like it! You would think portion control would be common sense right? Wrong! Ladies we know fine well lack of portion control is one of the factors that made us gain weight in the first place.

 

[Skinny2be!!]

Hi Hun, you seem to be doing really well it's good to know weight watchers works to maintain after Cambridge diet as that's what I plan to do!! Are you spending your points just been healthy or do you use some for bad stuff xxx

 

[danniellea]

I stick to my points every day! I don't eat to much junk tbh I'd rather stuff my face with vege! I do use my weekly points on alcohol :/ I tend to stick to vodka diet coke or low cal wine! I do point EVERY THING that goes in my body, even if I forget to add something of my "night out" I usually try to over estimate how much alcohol I have. I've had the one take away garlic burger on New Year's Eve... I do have a pack of quavers or weight watches bar if I want some junk! Quavers are only 2points and 88calories so they aren't to terrible. I pick what ever has the least calories tbh! On an average day I'll have reduced fat cheese on ww toast a few cups of tea tend to skip lunch most days (not usually hungry) or just have quavers and a bit of fruit, in the evening I usually have chicken with vege or stir fry an orange/banana a ww yogurt a options hot chocolate and ww bar or biscuit if I'm still hungry.

 

[danniellea]

But today I've ate loads :/ porridge, tuna pasta, latte, ww toffee popcorn bar, 2mini milk ways (celebrations) banana yogurt and will be having my hot choc later..

 

[Skinny2be!!]

That's good that your still losing as we'll, I love weight watchers but it's more of portion control. It takes too long to lose a decent amount of weight on so I'm defined joining up after Cambridge.
I eat out a lot on weekends so weight watchers is best then can point everything xxx

 

[danniellea]

Yeah it really is brilliant but I had quite a bit to lose that's why I did Cambridge first I've had a few meals out etc but stuck to salad and chicken mainly hehe xx