Dating and Cambridge

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by contrarytintagel, 24 May 2009 Social URL.

  1. contrarytintagel

    contrarytintagel Full Member

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    Hi everyone,

    Just wondered if there are any single people out there and their thoughts on dating while on a VLCD? Getting tempted (must be all the sunshine) but know how people can react to diets and CD in particular, and so many social events revolve around food... Would love to know how everyone else has tackled this...:eek:
     
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  3. shelz

    shelz Silver Member

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    I've just gotten together with one of my best mates. Hes been with me thru thick and thin, thru all the agro of the ex and thru all the diet/eating problems.

    Hes still here, while I havent told him about the plan yet he is extremely supportive of me. He doesnt mind what I do as long as it makes me happy and it is being done in a sensible way.

    Sometimes I do think that maybe I am a little obsessed with my weight. I know it could drive a lot of people away. Perhaps go out on dates that dont revolve around food? The movies? For a walk?
     
  4. contrarytintagel

    contrarytintagel Full Member

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    That's what I thought I might do...just a bit nervous about telling people...
     
  5. tillyfloss

    tillyfloss Gold Member

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    It is a difficult one that we all face, but something someone told me when i first started, was that this diet journey really does pass so quickly in the grand scheme of things, and so we have to make some difficult decisions sometimes...
    As you said so much revolves around food, but maybe we need to be a bit selfish sometimes and look after number one.
    When the weather is good, a nice romantic walk ? There are quite a few outdoor concerts going on..? Sitting outside a pub can be really pleasant with a glass of icy sparking water and good company...
    Of course you can do the cinema, see a show, lots of stuff that doesn't mean you have to go eat.

    I ahve had a few parties since starting inc my sons 7th. I stayed SS100% not because I am a saint, but because I want this the fast way and I know I will struggle to get back on track if I take a day off!

    As for telling a partner, I think maybe the support from 'the' special person, even if you tell no one else, is invaluable.. you don't want surprise gifts of chocs or meals for instance as that could mean you either have to risk offending someone or breaking your diet..

    Good luck however you decide to proceed, i am at the end of week 8 now and am amazed at how quickly this journey has gone so far

    x
     
  6. natzmc

    natzmc Full Member

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    i'm single but for now i'm not planning to date any1 till afterwards, being 23yrs old i figure ive plenty of time and right now im concentrating on this cause until i get myself out of this state my life wont truly begin. but when i reach or am near goal, then i'll consider it, but then i am a fussy bugger, poor blokes lol.
     
  7. do it anyway

    do it anyway Member

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    It's tough isn't it. I sm going on my first date soon, I hope it is sunny as a daytime drink of sparkling water in the sunshine should do the trick. Maybe an antibiotics lie or I don't drink during the day might work.
     
  8. crazylilblondie

    crazylilblondie Pizza addict

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    I wouldnt know. I finished with my bf at the start of the diet and no one has asked me out since! Though the fact I have become an anti social loser so I can concentrate on this diet 100% and stay focused hasnt helped in the meeting people department!
     
  9. batlo8

    batlo8 Full Member

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    I envy you all for going on dates. My main problem is I think I am so revolting every man would be sorry to be on a date with me anyway! So on that note I will be waiting until I am nearer to goal, or at least a little more comfortable in my own skin.

    With regards to a 'cheat free' date, you dont necessarily have to say what diet you're on on the first date, just say you're on A diet and can't drink and dont want a stodgy meal out. Men dont tend to care about diets anyway so probably wont ask too many questions!

    Good luck if you do go xx
     
  10. Losing it for good

    Losing it for good Full Member

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    A guy I met had been hassling me to go out so I explained about CD and he said not to worry, he would take me somewhere like bowling or cinema and would keep me topped up on evian all night. As he seemed fine with it all I agreed and went out last Friday. He ended up taking me to a bar that sold food. He ate LOADS, and drank ALOT and did everything in his power to try and get me to give in to temptation. I didn't and won't be seeing him again. I mean, If I dated a vegetarian, I wouldn't take them to a steak house and try and offer them a fillet of beef- would I?? How inconsiderate.

    I'm staying away from the dates until this diet is over!lol
     
  11. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Losing_it_for_good - he sounds vile!

    What an inconsiderate beast!!!

    I ended up putting on all of the weight I'd lost on CD last time when I met my BF. (nearly typed current BF there until I remembered I want him to be the last!)

    Didn't want to tell him I was dieting and thought I'd cope and not put any on. So I'd recommend telling someone you start seeing if it comes up. As in if they say do you fancy a meal, you can simply say 'not at the moment as I am on a diet, but I'd love to go to the cinema/bowling/whatever'
     
  12. contrarytintagel

    contrarytintagel Full Member

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    Losing it for good, How rude of him!!! Especially after saying it wouldn't be a problem. A friend is trying to set me up on a blind date and just wasn't sure...do you say yep but tell him I'm on a complex diet so it would have to be cinema etc or keep quiet and tell him on meeting if there's something there... Beginning to think more trouble than its worth, but not having the comfort food around has made me realise I'm actually a wee bit lonely! Time to start reviving my social life rather than hiding away... Thankyou all for your input, great to see what everyone else thinks xxx
     
  13. haggard_hannah

    haggard_hannah Proud to be a Loser!

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    Wish I could give advice on this, but alas, I had no male interest before and still none now. Losing 7.5 stone didn't make a blind bit of difference :(
     
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  14. contrarytintagel

    contrarytintagel Full Member

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    Awww Hannah, I think sometimes we don't realise there's male interest! Have also noticed that if you start thinking how god damn gorgeous you are, the men tend to come out of the woodwork. Burlesque classes!!!
     
  15. tillyfloss

    tillyfloss Gold Member

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    Hannah.... have a hug!!

    I honestly believe that male / female interest, or basic sexual attraction has little to do with size, shape, colour etc....
    One of the reasons I put on weight, was because I was dumped many many years ago (feel a bit tearful writing this as it was a recent mind storm that allowed me to be honest with myself) when i was dumped by the love of my life, i put on weight as I sort of didn't want any male interest at all....
    To cut a long story short, this never really worked.. I have never been short of male attention; Yes of course some men would never look at a fat girl but there are many who are not that superficial... and I really believe it is about confidence!!!
    I have always believed in my intelligence, I can hold a conversation at most levels. And whilst I have not felt attractive for a long long time, I have always had confidence in my ability in certain other ways LOL.
    So have never been on my own for long. (gosh that may have come out terribly wrong!)
    The problem with me is my destructive behaviours.... as soon as things get perfect, I get scared and tend to frighten people away... sort of like a self fulfilling prophecy!
    Anyway less about me!!!
    Hannah, I honestly beleive that you have just not seen the interest!!!!
    I actually agree with the above about Burlesque classes! Something I would do (but think I maybe am too old) but I think they would bring out your sensuality and give you a huge confidence boost !
    xx
     
  16. Sulleyp

    Sulleyp The Minis Bad Boy

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    I have found that I dont so much go on dates, as much as just have a bit of time with people. Mainly because its pretty obvious at 25.5 stone I aint gonna be getting dates anytime soon.

    I have found that if I was to be spending time with a lady I say "Oh im on a strict diet, do you mind if we just go cinema and then for a walk or something?"

    They jump at the chance because it takes the whole awkward stigma out of a romantic meal. NOW I KNOW there are going to be ladies that disagree with me. But I have foudn that last week I saw a film and went for a 20 min walk along the Thames (the nice bit near Henley) and I swear it did me better in her eyes than going for a stereotypical meal.

    Plus I got a bit of exercise in.
     
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