Day 2 of restart....
- Thread starter jabbathehut
- Start date
jabbathehut
This is the last time!!
Thanks, Bouillon on order from my good buddy in UK, boss stayed the hell outta my way, so good day really. Stopped off to do the week's shop on the way home and found it a bit 'emotional', all the things I can't have. But it's not forever I guess.
It's bitterly cold here in Germany but beautiful and bright too, so I think I am going to take the dog for a nice walk in a bit. I'd love to go for a really big walk but the lack of toilet worries me - when I need a wee I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed a wee!
Not sure what the weekend holds - having a trim tomorrow morning with my fabby hairdresser, son is getting his done too, then we'll see what happens from there!
I got my new shakes through the post today, so had strawberry for lunch, it made a nice change from chocolate!
Well, best go find things to keep me busy. Oh, and have a(nother) wee!
It's bitterly cold here in Germany but beautiful and bright too, so I think I am going to take the dog for a nice walk in a bit. I'd love to go for a really big walk but the lack of toilet worries me - when I need a wee I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed a wee!
Not sure what the weekend holds - having a trim tomorrow morning with my fabby hairdresser, son is getting his done too, then we'll see what happens from there!
I got my new shakes through the post today, so had strawberry for lunch, it made a nice change from chocolate!
Well, best go find things to keep me busy. Oh, and have a(nother) wee!
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi Jabba,
Just found your diary. It sounds as if you are on your way. Keep at it. You can do this. I, too, have trouble with real food diets. Portion control is my downfall. I think all or nothing works best for me. However, I am hoping to lose the weight I regained (2 of 5 stone) without the excessive exercise... as it was when I slowed up on that I started the regain. It may take longer this time, but hopefully it will stay off permanently!
MM
Just found your diary. It sounds as if you are on your way. Keep at it. You can do this. I, too, have trouble with real food diets. Portion control is my downfall. I think all or nothing works best for me. However, I am hoping to lose the weight I regained (2 of 5 stone) without the excessive exercise... as it was when I slowed up on that I started the regain. It may take longer this time, but hopefully it will stay off permanently!
MM
kerryberry
Silver Member
SS 100% can be a bit quieter than the rest of the forum but I hang out here when I am not hiding in shame for fallen off the wagon.
Its even hard to SS on a re-start don't know why when really we should be prepared for it as we have done it before, it doesn't help when are lives are full of stress. Least you know that the diet works and I am sure you will get there, as for normal eating I am feeling alot more possitive about life after CD as when you move up the steps its like learning to eat all over again. Thats why its so important to follow each step as you learn to portion control and self control, I am an emotional eater and I am sure there will be times when I am maintaining that I will slip back into my old ways but I am hoping that I will be able to contain them to one day rather that a week, 6 weeks or a years worth of comfort eating.
I was 100% for the first 7 months of CD then Xmas came and I let myself have a planned break of a week and then I really struggled to get back on track. I couldn't manage it one week on the a stupid nibble then back one again and it was a horrible cycle of eat something stupid feel bad start again, well I am well and truly back on track but I am now trying 810 and its working so much better for me. I have only 25lbs to go but it feels harder than ever so I have moved up, hubby has been SSing too and we have moved up together and its working really well.
I hope your all doing ok its hard work but it will be worth it in the end xxx
Its even hard to SS on a re-start don't know why when really we should be prepared for it as we have done it before, it doesn't help when are lives are full of stress. Least you know that the diet works and I am sure you will get there, as for normal eating I am feeling alot more possitive about life after CD as when you move up the steps its like learning to eat all over again. Thats why its so important to follow each step as you learn to portion control and self control, I am an emotional eater and I am sure there will be times when I am maintaining that I will slip back into my old ways but I am hoping that I will be able to contain them to one day rather that a week, 6 weeks or a years worth of comfort eating.
I was 100% for the first 7 months of CD then Xmas came and I let myself have a planned break of a week and then I really struggled to get back on track. I couldn't manage it one week on the a stupid nibble then back one again and it was a horrible cycle of eat something stupid feel bad start again, well I am well and truly back on track but I am now trying 810 and its working so much better for me. I have only 25lbs to go but it feels harder than ever so I have moved up, hubby has been SSing too and we have moved up together and its working really well.
I hope your all doing ok its hard work but it will be worth it in the end xxx
jabbathehut
This is the last time!!
Hey all, nice to read your replies.
Sorry for those who have had blips :-(
Amazingly, I do not have blips when doing CD. It's all about that cast iron willpower - I just wish to God I could have it normally. I am hoping that this time I will learn from my mistakes and really stick at the willpower thing post CD.
So, the weekend, what can I say? Didn't really do much to be honest, just mooched around. I was meant to go out Friday night but my babysitter cancelled, which probably worked out for the best as a) it snowed (AGAIN!!) and b) there was a buffet there. I am still at the stage where avoiding social situations involving food is better. Saturday and Sunday were just chill days, catching up on some chores, lazing in bed (very rarely do that!) and pottering about. My ironing basket is *finally* empty - well, ready to be refilled once the laundry is done I suppose! Amazing how much I can get done when I put my mind to it.
I'm still cooking for hubby and son and finding it odd. Not hard, just odd. Son decided he wanted rice yesterday, hubby is not so keen on rice so I had to try and tweak a meal to suit them both. So, I added all sorts to a pan (dont want to mention lots of foods as it is 100% forum) but I had to keep getting hubby to come taste it as usually I would do so and tweak accordingly! Well, they both enjoyed it anyway so it must have tasted as good as it looked!
Doing one of my favourites tonight which will be a challenge, but as it is, I am shooting off as soon as I have cooked it as my friend has to take her dog to the vet....and she thinks she will be coming home without her
I am going to hers to watch her son so that if euthanasia is the only option, the poor little fella isn't there.
I am a bit mad in the fact that when I am on this diet I become a bit obsessed with people's food. I make them describe their meals to me and when I am dishing out the kid's packed lunches at work I have a good nosey through it all.
Anyways, waffle waffle waffle. I do tend to go on, I do apologise. I have decided that Sundays will be my 'try clothes on' day. I did this on my last CD journey and loved seeing the changes in the way clothes fit and looked. I have so many nice clothes currently dwelling in cases in the cellar, I can't wait to have
them back in my wardrobe!
Happy New Week everyone xxxx
Sorry for those who have had blips :-(
Amazingly, I do not have blips when doing CD. It's all about that cast iron willpower - I just wish to God I could have it normally. I am hoping that this time I will learn from my mistakes and really stick at the willpower thing post CD.
So, the weekend, what can I say? Didn't really do much to be honest, just mooched around. I was meant to go out Friday night but my babysitter cancelled, which probably worked out for the best as a) it snowed (AGAIN!!) and b) there was a buffet there. I am still at the stage where avoiding social situations involving food is better. Saturday and Sunday were just chill days, catching up on some chores, lazing in bed (very rarely do that!) and pottering about. My ironing basket is *finally* empty - well, ready to be refilled once the laundry is done I suppose! Amazing how much I can get done when I put my mind to it.
I'm still cooking for hubby and son and finding it odd. Not hard, just odd. Son decided he wanted rice yesterday, hubby is not so keen on rice so I had to try and tweak a meal to suit them both. So, I added all sorts to a pan (dont want to mention lots of foods as it is 100% forum) but I had to keep getting hubby to come taste it as usually I would do so and tweak accordingly! Well, they both enjoyed it anyway so it must have tasted as good as it looked!
Doing one of my favourites tonight which will be a challenge, but as it is, I am shooting off as soon as I have cooked it as my friend has to take her dog to the vet....and she thinks she will be coming home without her
I am going to hers to watch her son so that if euthanasia is the only option, the poor little fella isn't there.I am a bit mad in the fact that when I am on this diet I become a bit obsessed with people's food. I make them describe their meals to me and when I am dishing out the kid's packed lunches at work I have a good nosey through it all.
Anyways, waffle waffle waffle. I do tend to go on, I do apologise. I have decided that Sundays will be my 'try clothes on' day. I did this on my last CD journey and loved seeing the changes in the way clothes fit and looked. I have so many nice clothes currently dwelling in cases in the cellar, I can't wait to have
them back in my wardrobe!
Happy New Week everyone xxxx
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi Jabba -- I like the sunday trying on clothes day idea. I might borrow that one.
MadFerret - Falling off the waong over the weekend is unlikely to undo all the good you have done, thus far. So, you'll have a few hungry days whilst getting back into ketosis... that'll be your penance and you'll be that much more pleased when it kicks in.
I am working on my long list of chores -- and trying to be focused on anything except "the diet" and food. So far so good -- today.
MM
MadFerret - Falling off the waong over the weekend is unlikely to undo all the good you have done, thus far. So, you'll have a few hungry days whilst getting back into ketosis... that'll be your penance and you'll be that much more pleased when it kicks in.
I am working on my long list of chores -- and trying to be focused on anything except "the diet" and food. So far so good -- today.
MM
jabbathehut
This is the last time!!
Bleurgh, starting with a cold and been so thirsty today, I had 2 pints before work, 2 pints in work and on my 5th now. I felt really sicky last night - not like nausea, as in I was going to be sick but as I was laid in bed I just felt weirdly sick. Or maybe I am sickly weird
Off to the cinema tonight to watch 'Up in the Air' - I *may* have to have a little lustful thought or 2 over George Clooney - damn that man is fit! Luckily going with a female friend and not the hubby!
Struggled making their tea last night, it was my favourite. Struggle or not, I did it anyway, yay me! I did make hubby wash up whilst I was out though so that most of the delicious food smells had disappeared. One of the kids today had strawberries in her lunchbox, mmmmmm they smelled heavenly.
I have my second weigh in tomorrow, my scales are not saying much of a loss, but I guess after a 10lb initial drop, it is bound to be smaller! Hoping for 4lbs to make it a stone. Got a very busy day tomorrow, work, then school is closing early due to parent/teacher meetings. So gotta dash home from work, collect son from the bus, do some housework, go to meeting, come home in time for my friend to drop her 2 boys off, take all 3 kids along to my son's swimming lesson, bring them all back, and then feed them! Thank goodness for the slow cooker, that's what I say! I always make loads anyway so I am gonna surprise my friend with a good hearty meal when she comes to collect her boys.
Madferet, well done on the staying the same. Hope you are back on that wagon. It's hard when the naughty voices totally take over isn't it.
Minnimel, by all means do the sunday trying on thing - it really helped me last time!
See ya'll later xx
Off to the cinema tonight to watch 'Up in the Air' - I *may* have to have a little lustful thought or 2 over George Clooney - damn that man is fit! Luckily going with a female friend and not the hubby!
Struggled making their tea last night, it was my favourite. Struggle or not, I did it anyway, yay me! I did make hubby wash up whilst I was out though so that most of the delicious food smells had disappeared. One of the kids today had strawberries in her lunchbox, mmmmmm they smelled heavenly.
I have my second weigh in tomorrow, my scales are not saying much of a loss, but I guess after a 10lb initial drop, it is bound to be smaller! Hoping for 4lbs to make it a stone. Got a very busy day tomorrow, work, then school is closing early due to parent/teacher meetings. So gotta dash home from work, collect son from the bus, do some housework, go to meeting, come home in time for my friend to drop her 2 boys off, take all 3 kids along to my son's swimming lesson, bring them all back, and then feed them! Thank goodness for the slow cooker, that's what I say! I always make loads anyway so I am gonna surprise my friend with a good hearty meal when she comes to collect her boys.
Madferet, well done on the staying the same. Hope you are back on that wagon. It's hard when the naughty voices totally take over isn't it.
Minnimel, by all means do the sunday trying on thing - it really helped me last time!
See ya'll later xx
kerryberry
Silver Member
Enjoy that lusting after George Clooney he is lovely, well done on getting through another family meal its hard work cooking while on CD.
jabbathehut
This is the last time!!
Well, week 2 weigh in - lost 3lbs. My head is saying that it's good, almost a stone in 2 weeks etc. My heart is pretty disappointed, silly really cos if it had been 4lbs I would have been happy! Funny how these mind games get you sometimes eh?
Got a really busy day today so will sod off and finish my chores before heading to work, back later on this evening. Have a great 100% day all xxxx
Got a really busy day today so will sod off and finish my chores before heading to work, back later on this evening. Have a great 100% day all xxxx
skinnimini
Member
HI!!! That is so great next wk you will have more than 1st off and all in 3 weeks!!!! Dont lose heart, its fantastic. No other diet would see the guts of a st off in a week xxx
jabbathehut
This is the last time!!
Well, here I am again! Thanks for your replies, I know 3lbs is a good loss, and 13 lbs off in 2 weeks is awesome, I just wanted it to be a stone lol! Silly logic
Well, it's been a busy busy day, but I made it. I forgot to say this morning that I had my black combats on today for work - trousers I have not been able to fit in to for over 6 months! So my 13lbs is already changing my wardrobe. Yes I am still wearing a size 20, but they are comfortable. In fact, they are a little loose, which is a refreshing change from busting at the seams I should have done my measurements but I couldn't find my tape measure. My 6 year old likes to measure things so no doubt it is in the bottom of one of his (many) toy boxes!
I had 2 compliments in work today - one saying my face is showing my weight loss already, and one saying it is clear in my side profile. So that was nice!
I looked after my friend's 2 boys today whilst she was at her course, and I made a big casserole which fed my hubby, my son, her 2 boys, her AND some leftovers for my son's tea tomorrow too! When I was serving it up I got a splash of gravy on my thumb and without thinking I licked it. I almost cried, and I shrieked in horror at what I had done! Poor hubby thought I had burnt myself (quite a common occurrence lol) so he came running through to the kitchen, then laughed when I petulantly told him why I squealed!
Had a really good chat with my mum tonight about the diet and my relationship with food. I think she feels a bit guilty in a way as she has struggled with her weight all of my life. She lost 4 stone last year with the Rosemary Conley plan and has kept it off, so I think I will be heading for that once my CD journey is done. We are heading back to the UK for a week over Easter and will be living out of hotels, so I am going to have to come off plan for that week as it will be very difficult to prepare my shakes and keep the tetras cold enough for me to stomach them. But I WILL make the right choices with what I have. Then I am going straight back on CD until the end of May when I go back to stay with my parents. Mum is going to talk me through the Rosemary Conley plan and help me get my head round it. I have promised myself that I will never have this big weight battle in my life again. I am tired of it, and determined to change the way I view and use food forever.
Sometimes, I think it would be 'easier' to have a problem with alcohol - giving up food just isn't a possible option in life, food is a necessity. What I need to do is re-educate myself and STOP using it as an emotional crutch, time filler, and reward! I will view food as a necessity, and will only eat when I need to not when I want to. So there!!!!!
Well, it's been a busy busy day, but I made it. I forgot to say this morning that I had my black combats on today for work - trousers I have not been able to fit in to for over 6 months! So my 13lbs is already changing my wardrobe. Yes I am still wearing a size 20, but they are comfortable. In fact, they are a little loose, which is a refreshing change from busting at the seams
I should have done my measurements but I couldn't find my tape measure. My 6 year old likes to measure things so no doubt it is in the bottom of one of his (many) toy boxes!I had 2 compliments in work today - one saying my face is showing my weight loss already, and one saying it is clear in my side profile. So that was nice!
I looked after my friend's 2 boys today whilst she was at her course, and I made a big casserole which fed my hubby, my son, her 2 boys, her AND some leftovers for my son's tea tomorrow too! When I was serving it up I got a splash of gravy on my thumb and without thinking I licked it. I almost cried, and I shrieked in horror at what I had done! Poor hubby thought I had burnt myself (quite a common occurrence lol) so he came running through to the kitchen, then laughed when I petulantly told him why I squealed!
Had a really good chat with my mum tonight about the diet and my relationship with food. I think she feels a bit guilty in a way as she has struggled with her weight all of my life. She lost 4 stone last year with the Rosemary Conley plan and has kept it off, so I think I will be heading for that once my CD journey is done. We are heading back to the UK for a week over Easter and will be living out of hotels, so I am going to have to come off plan for that week as it will be very difficult to prepare my shakes and keep the tetras cold enough for me to stomach them. But I WILL make the right choices with what I have. Then I am going straight back on CD until the end of May when I go back to stay with my parents. Mum is going to talk me through the Rosemary Conley plan and help me get my head round it. I have promised myself that I will never have this big weight battle in my life again. I am tired of it, and determined to change the way I view and use food forever.
Sometimes, I think it would be 'easier' to have a problem with alcohol - giving up food just isn't a possible option in life, food is a necessity. What I need to do is re-educate myself and STOP using it as an emotional crutch, time filler, and reward! I will view food as a necessity, and will only eat when I need to not when I want to. So there!!!!!
cornishkez
Gold Member
My partner made a good point this evening. Humans are the only animal that has a set meal time, all other animals only eat when they are hungry! Says it all, doesn't it?
Madferret
Mad as a Hatter
Well, here I am again! Thanks for your replies, I know 3lbs is a good loss, and 13 lbs off in 2 weeks is awesome, I just wanted it to be a stone lol! Silly logic
Well, it's been a busy busy day, but I made it. I forgot to say this morning that I had my black combats on today for work - trousers I have not been able to fit in to for over 6 months! So my 13lbs is already changing my wardrobe. Yes I am still wearing a size 20, but they are comfortable. In fact, they are a little loose, which is a refreshing change from busting at the seams
I had 2 compliments in work today - one saying my face is showing my weight loss already, and one saying it is clear in my side profile. So that was nice!
I looked after my friend's 2 boys today whilst she was at her course, and I made a big casserole which fed my hubby, my son, her 2 boys, her AND some leftovers for my son's tea tomorrow too! When I was serving it up I got a splash of gravy on my thumb and without thinking I licked it. I almost cried, and I shrieked in horror at what I had done! Poor hubby thought I had burnt myself (quite a common occurrence lol) so he came running through to the kitchen, then laughed when I petulantly told him why I squealed!
Had a really good chat with my mum tonight about the diet and my relationship with food. I think she feels a bit guilty in a way as she has struggled with her weight all of my life. She lost 4 stone last year with the Rosemary Conley plan and has kept it off, so I think I will be heading for that once my CD journey is done. We are heading back to the UK for a week over Easter and will be living out of hotels, so I am going to have to come off plan for that week as it will be very difficult to prepare my shakes and keep the tetras cold enough for me to stomach them. But I WILL make the right choices with what I have. Then I am going straight back on CD until the end of May when I go back to stay with my parents. Mum is going to talk me through the Rosemary Conley plan and help me get my head round it. I have promised myself that I will never have this big weight battle in my life again. I am tired of it, and determined to change the way I view and use food forever.
Sometimes, I think it would be 'easier' to have a problem with alcohol - giving up food just isn't a possible option in life, food is a necessity. What I need to do is re-educate myself and STOP using it as an emotional crutch, time filler, and reward! I will view food as a necessity, and will only eat when I need to not when I want to. So there!!!!!
Cracking post - well said !!!
jabbathehut
This is the last time!!
Ahhh, Friday. Bliss. A much better few days at work, and feeling rather chilled.
Had a good chat with CDC yesterday about my trip back to the UK for a week in Easter. I was considering coming off the diet for the week as we will be living out of hotels, but have decided to stick at it by having 2 x tetras and 1 x bar each day. Am meeting hubby's dad and his wife for the first time (long story, they have been estranged for many years) and we may well end up going for a meal. I'll see how I am feeling, if I can I will avoid it, if I can't I will have a plain chicken salad. I feel happy now I have made the decision to carry on.
So, what's new in 'Jan Land'?? Well, I have had quite a few successful food avoiding moments this week, still not remotely thought about eating anything. Sat with hubby, son and friend's son (here on a sleepover) this evening in a soft play place whilst they ate and quietly played games on my phone (much praise for the iphone) Ohhhhhh - it is our 10th wedding anniversary in December and I want to do something special to mark it. Our wedding was a very low key affair, registry office, family only etc etc. It suited us perfectly at the time but I think 10 years is worth celebrating in style. Well, we've been looking at prices and I think we are going to go to.....NEW YORK!!!! Wow, I am so excited, never a good thing when I am drinking so much and therefore need to pee a lot anyway lol! I hope to be at goal and maintaining by then, how awesome will it be??!!
Feeling very proud of myself at the moment. The awful despair I felt a few weeks ago has lifted - the decision to restart Cambridge was such a difficult thing for me, but I know it is the only way that I can sort myself out. I can now visualise myself being slimmer, fitting in to my nice clothes and feeling more 'accepted'. All of the girls I work with have gorgeous figures and I hate the thought of going out with them as I am always fat and frumpy, but give me a few months and I'll be there. I can't wait for our Summer ball in June because I have some beautiful dresses that I got a while back in the Next sale and I am desperate to wear one and KNOW I will look great in it! I'm going to book myself a solo weekend trip back to the UK to stay with my good friend Angel55 and we can compare notes on our before and after (again lol).
All in all, I am so glad to being on the way to finding 'Jan' again. For too long I have hidden away and I want to break out!
So there you go, that's my random waffling for this evening.
Hope everyone is having a great 100% time, and have a fab weekend everyone xxx
Had a good chat with CDC yesterday about my trip back to the UK for a week in Easter. I was considering coming off the diet for the week as we will be living out of hotels, but have decided to stick at it by having 2 x tetras and 1 x bar each day. Am meeting hubby's dad and his wife for the first time (long story, they have been estranged for many years) and we may well end up going for a meal. I'll see how I am feeling, if I can I will avoid it, if I can't I will have a plain chicken salad. I feel happy now I have made the decision to carry on.
So, what's new in 'Jan Land'?? Well, I have had quite a few successful food avoiding moments this week, still not remotely thought about eating anything. Sat with hubby, son and friend's son (here on a sleepover) this evening in a soft play place whilst they ate and quietly played games on my phone (much praise for the iphone
) Ohhhhhh - it is our 10th wedding anniversary in December and I want to do something special to mark it. Our wedding was a very low key affair, registry office, family only etc etc. It suited us perfectly at the time but I think 10 years is worth celebrating in style. Well, we've been looking at prices and I think we are going to go to.....NEW YORK!!!! Wow, I am so excited, never a good thing when I am drinking so much and therefore need to pee a lot anyway lol! I hope to be at goal and maintaining by then, how awesome will it be??!!Feeling very proud of myself at the moment. The awful despair I felt a few weeks ago has lifted - the decision to restart Cambridge was such a difficult thing for me, but I know it is the only way that I can sort myself out. I can now visualise myself being slimmer, fitting in to my nice clothes and feeling more 'accepted'. All of the girls I work with have gorgeous figures and I hate the thought of going out with them as I am always fat and frumpy, but give me a few months and I'll be there. I can't wait for our Summer ball in June because I have some beautiful dresses that I got a while back in the Next sale and I am desperate to wear one and KNOW I will look great in it! I'm going to book myself a solo weekend trip back to the UK to stay with my good friend Angel55 and we can compare notes on our before and after (again lol).
All in all, I am so glad to being on the way to finding 'Jan' again. For too long I have hidden away and I want to break out!
So there you go, that's my random waffling for this evening.
Hope everyone is having a great 100% time, and have a fab weekend everyone xxx
