Dealing with Diet Saboteurs

[Oinkstop]

I wrote a post about this on my blog, but I figured I might as well rant about it here, too.

I am getting so tired of my spouse and my kid trying to sabotage my diet. It seems like every time we turn around, they are asking to go out to a restaurant, and I'm the bad guy when I say no.

I said yes twice last week already. We went out Friday night because we were visiting an elderly friend in the convalescent hospital, and her dinner was so terrible we felt sorry for her. We brought in Japanese take-out (I had sashimi) which seemed to lift her mood considerably. Saturday, we ended up going out for Mexican food because my father unexpectedly showed up in town. I agreed to go out again because I hadn't seen him in quite some time.

I thought that would have been enough to satisfy my greedy, restaurant-eating family members, but no, it wasn't. Sunday night the wanted to go out and grab take-out pizza. (I said no) Monday night (yesterday) they did the same thing. Once again, I was a meanie, and vetoed the idea.

My kid actually drew me to the side and started giving me a lecture! She said I wasn't that fat, and that it made her feel bad to see me having nothing but the Cambridge. It made her feel like she should be dieting as well, even though she doesn't have a weight problem. She also expressed that it made her feel really bad that I wasn't eating with them, and that my refusal to go get pizza was making her lonely.

ARGH!!!!

Last night I sat them both down and nicely asked them to quit sabotaging my diet. I told them I didn't appreciate them constantly asking to go out to eat, and that I was trying to lose weight for my health. I explained to both that I'm over 100 lbs above the maximum healthy weight for my height, and it's about time I do something about it before I drop dead from obesity.

I made them cry, even though I was trying to be nice.

Next time, I'm not going to be so nice. Next time, I'm gonna be yelling at them.

 

[sleepybird]

Oh bless you! x

 

[Angelmouse77]

Well as you noticed in my very fed up post this morning I know where your coming from on this, its so hard doing ss without people shoving cookies in your face. The lastest is wait till you eat something youll put all that weight back on grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

 

[nexangelus]

Mmmm even when not dieting there will be saboteurs...I have my own and although he is being nice/polite by offering food, the type of food isn't what I would like to be eating...he knows this...but he tries to make me feel bad when I refuse to accept it or eat it...

It's hard and even harder when people call you obsessive, it does get hurtful at times...but if you have a goal, you know you want, then you have to go for it...just for you...I don't think you'll need to shout...what if they eat and you don't eat (oh yeah you said what happened on that score, sounds familiar!)...

Hmm, no suggestions, other than to keep your chin up knowing that you aren't alone in this...keep it up, the lossed will soooo be worth it in the end!

 

[Oinkstop]

Well as you noticed in my very fed up post this morning I know where your coming from on this, its so hard doing ss without people shoving cookies in your face. The lastest is wait till you eat something youll put all that weight back on grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Yeah, I've heard plenty of that one. My spouse has expressed, more than once, that once I start eating, I'll just gain all the weight back plus more.

This Oinkstop is becoming very tired of being nice. It's one thing for well-meaning strangers to make stupid remarks, but quite another for family members who are in the know.

 

[saraian24]

I think thats awful - maybe if they have a day in your body they would know why you want to lose weight, you may borrow my family for a day - there fab and so supporting.

I think its time to get nasty next time!

 

[Angelmouse77]

Yes I agree they need a good telling off :copon:. Dont know about you but all the rest of my family are very thin so have no idea what its like being heavy . We are doing this for US to feel better in ourselves. We deserve this and being mums we should get a little respect is that too much to ask? i think not I have even been told by teenage daughter that if I dont eat on mothers day I will spoil it for HER Yes your right I think I will join you on the yelling.

 

[Oinkstop]

Yes I agree they need a good telling off :copon:. Dont know about you but all the rest of my family are very thin so have no idea what its like being heavy . We are doing this for US to feel better in ourselves. We deserve this and being mums we should get a little respect is that too much to ask? i think not I have even been told by teenage daughter that if I dont eat on mothers day I will spoil it for HER Yes your right I think I will join you on the yelling.

The conclusion that I am coming to is that I am not responsible for other people being unhappy about my diet.

 

[Serena A]

Totally agree. Also, if the people who are pressurising you think that their wishes should override yours and they don't feel bad about putting their wants over yours, then surely why shouldn't the tables be turned so that your wishes override theirs? Especially as your wishes will get you healthy and theirs will just make you ill.

Grrrrr makes me mad.

 

[Kellybeeb]

A lady at my work who i really get along with said ohh you've got to be careful you might become so obbessed with food you become anorexic....obviously doesnt know anythin bout the diet

 

[Broadstairsgirl]

I'm on day 3 - last night my boyfriend who weighs 10 stones ate his dinner then made himself 4 slices of toast with butter and marmite and mmmmm'd all the way through them.

It made me cry. I am so hungry because I'm waiting for ketosis to kick in it nearly broke me.

I'm determined to succeed with this and if needs be i'll trade him in for a nicer one!!!!!

 

[Rayven]

I can totally sympathise. My hubby was a pain in the backside last time i did this diet - always wanting takeaway or wanting to cook a nice meal for me - and then make me feel guilty if i didn't want to do it by saying that he wanted to 'treat' me and that we never do anything romatic together anymore etc etc..............It drove me insane, because he knows how much i struggle with food at the best of times let alone when abstaining from food altogether.

I found out when i came off the diet that he constantly tried to sabotage my efforts to lose the weight because he was worried that if i lost it and looked the way i wanted to then i'd realise that i'm too good for him and find someone else! While it was very sweet that he was worried about losing me - i was livid at the fact that he was purposely trying to keep me miserable!

I think a lot of sabotage from your OH and female friends is more down to their insecurities about themselves. (thats just my opinion though)

 

[Oinkstop]

I've come to the conclusion that I'm pretty much done being nice when immediate family members try to sabotage me. If my spouse or my kid start to give me a ration of complain, I'm just going to let them have it.

I'm not dieting to please them. I'm dieting to please me.

 

[saraian24]

At the end of the day i dont see how it affects them - its your life. Im pleased though you l take no **** off either of them.

 

[Rayven]

I've come to the conclusion that I'm pretty much done being nice when immediate family members try to sabotage me. If my spouse or my kid start to give me a ration of complain, I'm just going to let them have it.

I'm not dieting to please them. I'm dieting to please me.

Oooooh good for you!!! My OH got told in no uncertain terms that this time round he needs to keep his unhelpful suggestions or comments to himself or i'd divorce him! lol