Dealing with your "stuff"

[Eclipse]

I think my problem is that I am a bit of an ostrich, and won't recognise that I have "stuff" to deal with as it were. If I sat long enough and looked back over the years I could probably pinpoint it, but I don't tend to dwell on the past. Does that mean then that I don't have "stuff" to deal with? I dunno, perhaps you could help me Mike on that one? xx

 

[lollylou1]

thanks

maybe thats what i need a big discussion about my past where someone wont judge me and will help me release all this built up anger and sadness i am holding on to let me scream really loud and cry till there are no tears left.
Lolly
xxx

 

[Porgeous]

I am quite lucky I suppose in that I have had a fairly trouble free life, loving family, hubby etc. Could it be that your "stuff" is as simple as a bad relationship with food that was formed early on and allowed to continue unchecked leading to the viscious circle of, depressed due to weight, eat to comfort, more depressed, more comforting eating etc etc.

G

 

[sumayyah]

oh i was offered councelling over my daughter at a womens centre but the 2 councillors were very in your face and confrontational and no way could i handle that

 

[kopcat]

I've already replied of one of Mike's NLP threads, but I'll just quickly add my two-penneth here I had one freebie session of NLP from my ex's sister, had to do some very strange stuff, but boy was it enlightening and empowering!! I was hoping for more sessions, but think the family pressured her to side with her brother, and I never saw her again .

The longer time goes on, the more I'm losing the benefits - have just had a chat with my husband and we've decided to have a look and try and find a local practitioner and the money to pay for some sessions.

I had 8 sessions of counselling on the NHS after my break-up with my ex - I learned a couple of things from that, but it didn't have anywhere near as much impact as one solitary NLP session

Mike, Can you recommend the best way to find myself a good NLP practitioner / life coach??

 

[icemoose]

Oh my word! Sorry I went to watch Heroes and missed these post.

Anyway! To find a counsellor you can check out a few UK based organisations.

I am a member of the BBNLP --> NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming member benefits association which has a list of practitioners.

There are other organisations in the UK so just do a search on Google.

 

[icemoose]

oh i was offered councelling over my daughter at a womens centre but the 2 councillors were very in your face and confrontational and no way could i handle that

The art of the counselling is working out what works best for the client, pushing them to be honest with themselves works for some people whereas others it most definately does not.

Hence a lot of the skill is rapport building and reading the individual.

M.

 

[icemoose]

I am quite lucky I suppose in that I have had a fairly trouble free life, loving family, hubby etc. Could it be that your "stuff" is as simple as a bad relationship with food that was formed early on and allowed to continue unchecked leading to the viscious circle of, depressed due to weight, eat to comfort, more depressed, more comforting eating etc etc.

G

Stuff can be anything! It can be as silly as being told off at school when you were 8 for not finishing your pudding! You then set a programme running which 30 years later is causing you problems.

The reality is thought that everyone knows what there true problems are, it is just we choose not to listen (talking from my own experience here).

M.

 

[icemoose]

maybe thats what i need a big discussion about my past where someone wont judge me and will help me release all this built up anger and sadness i am holding on to let me scream really loud and cry till there are no tears left.
Lolly
xxx

People are not their behaviours and hence judging a client is not part of the service as your map of the world is totally acceptable to you.

Screaming is good! Such a release of real emotion can be so relieving!

M.

 

[icemoose]

I think my problem is that I am a bit of an ostrich, and won't recognise that I have "stuff" to deal with as it were. If I sat long enough and looked back over the years I could probably pinpoint it, but I don't tend to dwell on the past. Does that mean then that I don't have "stuff" to deal with? I dunno, perhaps you could help me Mike on that one? xx

So hard not to mind read as I have never really chatted with you and mind reading is not a good thing as I can't know what you feel, if you don't want to dwell on the past then I would simply ask "What is the benefit of not thinking about the past?"

(DON'T ANSWER THAT ON HERE!)

 

[sumayyah]

lol we hadnt got anywhere near to councelling, they were just pushy and rude from the beginning
they suggested i might like to go to parenting classes as my girl wasnt in nursery though they knew i was a nursery nurse and that my child was too sick for nursery, there was just no way i could imagine ever telling these people anything about myself

 

[icemoose]

lol we hadnt got anywhere near to councelling, they were just pushy and rude from the beginning
they suggested i might like to go to parenting classes as my girl wasnt in nursery though they knew i was a nursery nurse and that my child was too sick for nursery, there was just no way i could imagine ever telling these people anything about myself

lol then I can see your point! you certainly need trust in the person who is helping you help you, otherwise you will just feel uncomfortable and hence not get anything from it.

M.

 

[poohbearmufc]

Mike, how long did it take you to train up?

 

[icemoose]

In total around 12 months but you can do it quicker, I decided to really really learn it so I could be the best I could be at it, saying that I haven't finished training, I am now doing my Master status which I should get my the middle/autumn next year.

M.

 

[poohbearmufc]

what training did you do before it? and how easy is it to get into?

 

[MsJMC]

comfort eating for me , I guess from the age of 22 i started putting on weight , i felt , i'm now married and kids and let myself go , really was not happy but never done anything until years past , marriage broke down but still never lost weight but then years later i thought ok i'm going to deal with my weight , but my mind was not very strong until this woman at worked laughed and said you won't do it i was working at a bakery then ... but her just saying that made me do it , also i meet someone and kepting going ...i kept the weight off for 4 years then i met my soul mate who i'm with now and who i meet almost 6 years ago well the story started again weight crept back on had a child... I then delt with smoking... gave up almost 3 years this Jan , well more weight was to go on ... I only started to deal with this in April , lost 2 stone... my BMI was 41 I knew i was in a bad way ... and i'm still fighting the pounds , back on track again .... 3rd day over ... For me i'm a person that does not like staying home but now having kids i'm at home , i think alot of it with me is that i need to be busy and out more , thats why i think i turn to food cos i need that sort of life well having a family things change

 

[icemoose]

what training did you do before it? and how easy is it to get into?

I did a lot of self study on this and then Diva on here recommended a training company to me, I then did there self study and test papers before then going down for classroom training in Chesham.

Dead easy to get into! The classroom training is expensive but the best money I ever spent.

M.

 

[KD]

In a couple of residential homes I've been in, we had the 'Act as if" concept. The idea is that if you have to do something you don't want to do, you 'act as if' you want to do it.

If you feeling miserable, you 'act as if' you are happy. If you feel weak, you 'act as if' you are strong etc. The concept was drilled into us every minute of the day. For example, if you had to hoover up, as soon as you finished, they may well ask you to hoover again, even if you had done the job perfectly. You would have to look so happy to be asked, thank them for the opportunity of doing again etc Not doing so, not accepting and working on the concept had serious consequences.

It was tough to do, but it's an amazing skill to learn. It's stood me in fine stead during some tough times.

It seems to me that this NLP is similar in a way. Looking on the bright side...seeing the positive in things. Maybe not so harsh, but a similar idea all the same.

Possibly Mike??

 

[slushy]

i am probably being a bit confrontational by posting this on this thread and i hope mike will forgive me - especially as he knows i am interested in NLP training myself

however

mike has stated that your issues could be something as small as being told off when you were 8 for not eating your pudding - thats what i need to highlight

i personally think it needs to be pointed out that NOT EVERYONE has MAJOR issues and as such we shouldnt all go looking for them - - its easy to get caught up on the same boat as the brave people who have already posted here - but i really think that sometimes discussing this kind of thing TOO MUCH in public can take it a stage further than helping people WHO NEED it to actually creating problems for individuals who didnt have an real issue with STUFF to start with

i hope i am being clear in what i am saying and not causing offense

just dont want people to CREATE issues that arent really there which has been proved to happen in the past - not that i am implying anyone here would do that -just senidng out a word of caution

 

[icemoose]

I agree slushy with what you are saying, there is no point in looking for a problem if there isn't one there in the first place, I would say though that most people (in my opinion) who are overweight are overweight due to a problem in their life and not just because they like food too much.

I always said when I was big that the reason I was big was that I just loved food and that I was big and happy with it, was merely my outlet and my defence against the world.

M.