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Dealing with your "stuff"

#1
As a lot of you will know I have recently been doing my NLP training to become a life coach and to do breakthrough therapies for people.

As part of training I have dealt with some of my own stuff from the past like my gran passing away and my Mum and Dad splitting up after an abusive relationship.

I have to say having now put those things firmly in the past (the fact I can mention them means I know that I have!) has meant I can see much more clearly now that being overweight is very much a sympton and not a cause for most people.

This is why I am spending a lot of time with people now not only helping them get slim but trying to get to the bottom of what are the reasons they overeat, for me I definately had "baggage" and inside I knew I had it but choose not to deal with it and hence my outlet was food.

Therefore all I can say to people who are struggling to either lose or maintain weight is that have you really dealt with the root cause of the problem and if not then what do you need to do to deal with it as ultimately that is the key to being slim permanently, cut the problem off at the root.

Mike
 
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#3
Too true

How do you deal with the issues when they may not be around anymore? i am sure alot of my food problems are a comfort thing due to past experiences and i really struggle to deal with those so i agree its important to deal with them but how is the harder part.
Lolly
xxx:cry:
 
#4
Certainly not easy but I never ever dealt with what I saw as a kid, I always put on a "brave face" and thought the best thing to do was "forget" about it but all that really happened is that I started to show it through over eating, drinking, gambling etc etc as my unconcious tried to get me to deal with it, eventually it resulted in my having a nervous breakdown which kind of forced the issue.

Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not preaching to anyone but I truely believe that the key to remaining slim for a lot of people is to deal with the true cause of the overeating otherwise you may just be renting a slim body for a while.
 
#5
How do you deal with the issues when they may not be around anymore? i am sure alot of my food problems are a comfort thing due to past experiences and i really struggle to deal with those so i agree its important to deal with them but how is the harder part.
Lolly
xxx:cry:
There are thing you can do Lou, you don't need to directly deal with that individual as in a lot of cases that is not possible, over my Gran dying I did an exercise where I stood and imagined her in front of me, I cried (a lot) and was all over the shop, but then I stood in her position and spoke back to myself, I knew what she would say which was to move on and stop being so silly, it then made me realise that my grief for her was for my benefit and actually it wasn't really benefitting me at all, since then I have found I can go through her stuff I have in the house and think of such fond memories without being an emotional wreck, because at the end of the day she just wanted me to be happy (and slim!) and although she never got to see me slim before she passed I am damn sure she would be so proud of me now.

Mike
 

sumayyah

please try again
#6
hell if i took all my issues to a councillor am sure they would end up having a break down
 
#7
agreed

i feel i know the real reasons for my comfort eating and there are more than one im just not too sure how i deal with those demons. have you spoken to people about your problems mike?
Lolly
xxx
 
#8
Hiya Lol

As part of my NLP training I kept putting myself forward as guinea pig and hence I got a lot of free self help! And the fact you know the real reasons mean you are 50% of the way there before you start.

M.
 
#9
hell if i took all my issues to a councillor am sure they would end up having a break down
That is exactly what I said (almost word for word!) but usually most issues come back to one or two major problems in the past and when you pull the rug from that then the other issues tend to fall.

M.
 

Hedgemag

Cambridge Diet Counsellor
#10
Wise words Mike, but can be easier said than done.....I have baggage as you put it, trouble is, it keeps rearing it's ugly head every so often..

I have tried to come to terms with a lot of issues from the past, like you I too had a nervous breakdown. The Trouble I have is finding a person that I can trust and talk about these thing too. I have tried CBT and even art theraphy, still I have not found the key to unlock pandoras box.
 

sumayyah

please try again
#11
oh i can put the vast majority down to 3 issues, violent ex husband, my guilt over my daughters birth and subsiquent disabilitys and the 3rd well that one aint coming out
was on the list for councelling but things take forever over here
 
#12
i think i need help

I have got alot of problems and most i havent even shared with my husband and too be honest im not really a face to face kind of person which is why i find chatting online so much easier as i can let the real me show. i would love to resolve these problems for myself not just for my weight but to sort my own head out any suggestions?
Lolly
xxx
 
#13
My breakthrough was when I suddenly realised that the past is just that, the past and therefore me still thinking and living the past with regret and a bad taste in my mouth was not actually helping anyone. Used a few techniques learnt to take the emotion out of some issues and then like choose Cambridge really, I made a decision to be happy and it was like another light switch moment, I still have had sh1t in the past but then again we all have, and I only have around 50 years left (if I am lucky) and hence I am now choosing to enjoy them as by waiting I am not really achieving anything.
 
#14
I totally agree with your post Mike... but, what if you can't identify what the root cause is?

Gx
 
#15
I have got alot of problems and most i havent even shared with my husband and too be honest im not really a face to face kind of person which is why i find chatting online so much easier as i can let the real me show. i would love to resolve these problems for myself not just for my weight but to sort my own head out any suggestions?
Lolly
xxx
Loads of ideas yes, but difficult on the forum due to your privacy really! You can always mail me directly or saying that there are other online counselling services.

(BTW this is not me touting for any business in anyway ! shape or form! I was merely making an observation originally).
 
#16
I totally agree with your post Mike... but, what if you can't identify what the root cause is?

Gx
That is where a good NLP counsellor can help, they merely help you help yourself as at the end of the day you know you best!

I have to say (and this doesn't mean it is the same for you!) but I always said I didn't know why I wasn't happier but deep inside I did know exactly what it was, I just didn't want to "go there".

Took me to fall to bits and then come out of the ashes to finally deal with it.

M.
 
#17
oh i can put the vast majority down to 3 issues, violent ex husband, my guilt over my daughters birth and subsiquent disabilitys and the 3rd well that one aint coming out
was on the list for councelling but things take forever over here
Yes counselling services in the UK are crap! Another "waste" of money in NHS resources etc...the thing is that by not helping people they then tend to cost the country loads more with the fallout from those problems.

Local counselling services here had a 3 year waiting list when I first lost the plot.

M.
 
#18
I feel at 23 i shouldn't have much of a past to worry about but i feel in my childhood a lot of things have really messed with my head and more so my heart till my brain was completely fried. maybe im too young yet to come to terms with these issues? maybe i need a counsellor? im too scared to blurt out problems to someone else face to face so they can judge me, atleast talking to people on here i can say what i want and dont seem to get judged!
thanks guys
lolly
xxx
 
#19
I have tried to come to terms with a lot of issues from the past, like you I too had a nervous breakdown. The Trouble I have is finding a person that I can trust and talk about these thing too. I have tried CBT and even art theraphy, still I have not found the key to unlock pandoras box.
So difficult to explain on here! and the urge to help everyone is burning me up ! If you are popping past Yarmouth and fancy a coffee then I could explain.

I am evangelical about this NLP stuff as like Cambridge to me it unlocked everything, and the two together have given me back my life.

M.
 
#20
I feel at 23 i shouldn't have much of a past to worry about but i feel in my childhood a lot of things have really messed with my head and more so my heart till my brain was completely fried. maybe im too young yet to come to terms with these issues? maybe i need a counsellor? im too scared to blurt out problems to someone else face to face so they can judge me, atleast talking to people on here i can say what i want and dont seem to get judged!
thanks guys
lolly
xxx
Oh yes! I can so relate to that, I very much had a "stiff upper lip" and don't tell anyone (including family) what the real problems are as that is a sign of weakness, hence in my eyes being big was a sign of strength as was being tight lipped.

Reality is that the only person that matters is you and if that means you have to let yourself "go" infront of someone but you get your life back then it is worth it.

I cried for 20 minutes infront of 12 people in a training room and to be honest I now couldn't give a monkeys as afterwards I realised I had sorted it out.

M.
 


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