Dealing with your "stuff"

[icemoose]

In a couple of residential homes I've been in, we had the 'Act as if" concept. The idea is that if you have to do something you don't want to do, you 'act as if' you want to do it.

If you feeling miserable, you 'act as if' you are happy. If you feel weak, you 'act as if' you are strong etc. The concept was drilled into us every minute of the day. For example, if you had to hoover up, as soon as you finished, they may well ask you to hoover again, even if you had done the job perfectly. You would have to look so happy to be asked, thank them for the opportunity of doing again etc Not doing so, not accepting and working on the concept had serious consequences.

It was tough to do, but it's an amazing skill to learn. It's stood me in fine stead during some tough times.

It seems to me that this NLP is similar in a way. Looking on the bright side...seeing the positive in things. Maybe not so harsh, but a similar idea all the same.

Possibly Mike??

Perception is projection and all that!

After my first course I spent a week smiling and acting more positively and found that I soon wasn't acting and I was happier, and also people around me then were happier.

When I used to say I was "depressed" I was labelling myself and hence I acted like I was depressed.

If you ask me how I am I will now say "Great thanks" as it makes you push back your shoulders and be that person, I used to immediately say "OK I suppose, bit tired..." etc etc and then I used to feel that way.

M.

 

[whoops]

Can I agree with Slushy?
Last night I read this post and started to wonder why I was so big, yes over the past couple of years I have blamed having the kids and not being happy etc but when I was in my teens I was big but very active, I studied sport at college and was playing hockey 4 or 5 times a week, trampolining 6 or 7 times a week, riding my bike at least 10 miles a day and all the other things that went with a sports course and working in a leisure centre. I never really ate a huge amount and it was usually a balanced diet even my Mother couldn't understand my size and I decided it was the way I was meant to be.
Doing cd I want to lose weight (which I am doing) I do feel a lot better and happier in myself especially with everything that has happened to me & my family over the last 2 years. As you can see from my ticker I don't want to get to a BMI or 25 as I don't feel I will look right at 10 1/2 stone - even my doctor agreed with me when I saw her this week.

 

[Lovelyjoolz]

I don't think I have 'stuff' to blame for my weight. I think I've just been downright greedy and lazy for the past few years!

I used to dance, teach aerobics, run cross country and hence, I had a HUGE appetite to feed all the energy I was expending. I had a lovely, slim, fit figure.

Problem was, when I stopped moving, I didn't reduce my calorie intake accordingly. Hence, I got fat!

My appetite has never decreased, when this diet is done and I'm back to the size I used to be, I need to make sure my energy expenditure is not less than my calorie intake.

No stuff, just bad diet maths! hehehehehehe

 

[Summerskye]

I first read this thread last night too and must admit it kept me awake for quite a while when I got into bed.

Some of you, including (I think) Mike, know that as well as being a CD Counsellor I'm also a Life Coach which took me a year of intense study and training to achieve my qualification. As part of my training I also covered a lot of NLP concepts which are very similar in many ways to the techniques used in life coaching - although I stress I am not an NLP practitioner by any means.

I was also grossly overweight for most of my adult life. At my heaviest before starting CD I was 18 st 11 lbs, and am now 10 st 7 lbs having maintained my weightloss for the past year.

I have to say that I, also, can't find any 'stuff' in my past which led me to gaining weight except for allowing myself to develop bad eating habits - especially once I'd met my husband and started cooking meals for us both, eating the same quantities as him most of the time (he's 6'4" and very active, I'm 5'6" and definitely not!) and basically just 'taking my eye off the ball' for many years as my weight crept up and up.

I had a very happy childhood, two parents who are still alive and together after 54 years of marriage, was content and popular at school, successful in my various jobs, with my husband for 22 years in a happy and mutually respectful relationship and have (thank goodness) never experienced abuse in any shape or form throughout my life.

I would certainly be the last person to suggest that underlying emotional issues have nothing to do with weight gain - that clearly is the case for a lot of people. However, I would very strongly caution against looking for issues which don't exist (and never have existed) as reasons for over-eating and putting on weight. In the course of my training I tried very hard to identify issues in my past which may have led to me becoming overweight, but however hard I tried (and believe me I tried) I simply couldn't uncover any 'stuff' which had been lying dormant for all those years. My main concern is that if you feel you SHOULD have some sort of underlying problem that you'll go looking for one that simply doesn't exist - which, in itself, can cause it's own problems.

Having said all that, if emotional issues are involved then I fully agree with Mike that dealing with those is absolutely vital if one is also to tackle issues regarding food and over-eating. In which case, using a trained life coach or NLP practitioner who is entirely non-judgemental, non-directional (ie. doesn't give you advice on how to sort out your problems, but instead encourages you to find your own solutions which work best for you) and who is 100% supportive is most definitely the best way forward.

 

[slushy]

I would certainly be the last person to suggest that underlying emotional issues have nothing to do with weight gain - that clearly is the case for a lot of people. However, I would very strongly caution against looking for issues which don't exist (and never have existed) as reasons for over-eating and putting on weight. In the course of my training I tried very hard to identify issues in my past which may have led to me becoming overweight, but however hard I tried (and believe me I tried) I simply couldn't uncover any 'stuff' which had been lying dormant for all those years. My main concern is that if you feel you SHOULD have some sort of underlying problem that you'll go looking for one that simply doesn't exist - which, in itself, can cause it's own problems.

thats what i meant but i didnt put it quite as eloquently : )

thanks summerskye

 

[poohbearmufc]

I did a lot of self study on this and then Diva on here recommended a training company to me, I then did there self study and test papers before then going down for classroom training in Chesham.

Dead easy to get into! The classroom training is expensive but the best money I ever spent.

M.

If possible do you have any details you can PM me or send me?

Love

 

[icemoose]

If possible do you have any details you can PM me or send me?

Love

Just PM'd you

Mike

 

[MsJMC]

I was reading Paul Mckenna last night , a book i got for Xmas last year... There is something in there about what you are saying Mike. Says..... I am continually surprised at the number of women ( and occasionally men ) I work with who realize that their initial weigh gain coincided with a traumatic incident from the past , ranging from episodes of sexual abuse to seemingly innocuous teasing leading to embarrassment in front of their peers .
While the techniques in the book and on the mind programming CD will help, they are not intended as a substitute for professional guidance . If you suspect this could apply to you , speak to your doctor and ask them to recommend an appropriate therapist