Dear Diary....

catdog...well done for avoiding the triggers :) its not easy but hugely rewarding when you do :)

I'm looking that for a few months I can avoid things if it means I get to live my life properly without ending up in tears in the changing rooms when you find your not the size you took in :(

Keep strong honey x x x
 
catdog...well done for avoiding the triggers :) its not easy but hugely rewarding when you do :)

I'm looking that for a few months I can avoid things if it means I get to live my life properly without ending up in tears in the changing rooms when you find your not the size you took in :(

Keep strong honey x x x

I know that feeling all too well hun :( the only thing i ever buy is 'thin' cloths, ones i hope to get into one day- i live in vest tops and jeans and cardys/coat, had them all long time and just rotate them :eek: i pretty much look like im wearing same thing everyday- i cant wait for that feeling to go in shop and actually pick something summery and different, just thoughts like that keeping me going- if i was to go get summit now itde lead me to a binge so waiting til bit further down the line to go clothes shopping. It would be great aswell to be able to go to primark and just get some cheap stuff as you can get some right bargains but they always too small or look awful cos of me body.

Heres to us having a less sweaty summer hehe

Hopeful xx
 
hehe sounds bit mad but im not sure whos up there and listening - some form of god maybe?? but i talk to whoever it is anyway and say if you just make me at me goal weight now i promise to be good and stay at it but never works surprisingly lolol


lol Deezer, i made big step today, might not sound big ha but went to the pictures to see hunger games, its usually big trigger for me but i did it! even with my skinny git of a OH sat with huge thing of sweet popcorn and he went to mccys ds grrr! but trying to not hide away in house saying when im thin ill do this blah blah blah and missing out on things while on diet- oh the joys of diet life :D

Catdog xx

Good work hunni!!!!

Super duper will power!!!

: ) X
 
Good work hunni!!!!

Super duper will power!!!

: ) X

Thanks Deezer, braving the dreaded supermarket trip tonight :eek: i used to love going to supermarket, was like an outing :eek: Think i'll dawdle in the magazine aisle lol

Catdog xx
 
Thanks Deezer, braving the dreaded supermarket trip tonight :eek: i used to love going to supermarket, was like an outing :eek: Think i'll dawdle in the magazine aisle lol

Catdog xx
Soon you'll be breazing through saying to yourself 'ooooh I'll try that at goal... and that!!! And this.....'
 
How you getting on chick? x

ha just replied to you on other thread. im doin alright, starting exercising this week, nowt too strenous (i thought anyway) longer walks with dog twice a day and waking the 25 mins into town and then back instead of bus, im knackered tonight, and everything aches, considering i get out of breath getting off settee to go to bog i should have realised it wouldnt be so easy lol.

Catdog xx
 
Really struggling today *sighs* just feeling so alone atm, i'll have a time i feel like i can really do this and then im back to thinking im never gonna make it,i always get to 10stone (2lb away ) then start eating and pile it all back on again cos i think i can come off for a day as treat, getting closer to that goal is scaring life out of me :( i know i should be proud ive edged into healthy bmi but believe me when i say i dont look good and i defo dont feel good either *cries*

Catdog xx
 
catdog said:
Really struggling today *sighs* just feeling so alone atm, i'll have a time i feel like i can really do this and then im back to thinking im never gonna make it,i always get to 10stone (2lb away ) then start eating and pile it all back on again cos i think i can come off for a day as treat, getting closer to that goal is scaring life out of me :( i know i should be proud ive edged into healthy bmi but believe me when i say i dont look good and i defo dont feel good either *cries*

Catdog xx

Stick with it! You are a very strong lady who deserves to give herself a break! You don't need anyone else to tell you you can do this, because you can!
You owe it to yourself to be the best you can be and don't stop until you are happy no one else!
Do it for yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for getting this far with all you have been through!
Big Hugs and go easy on yourself. Remember we are our own worst critics internally, we wouldn't talk to others the way we talk to ourselves.

Good luck!

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
 
Stick with it! You are a very strong lady who deserves to give herself a break! You don't need anyone else to tell you you can do this, because you can!
You owe it to yourself to be the best you can be and don't stop until you are happy no one else!
Do it for yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for getting this far with all you have been through!
Big Hugs and go easy on yourself. Remember we are our own worst critics internally, we wouldn't talk to others the way we talk to ourselves.

Good luck!

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins

Thanks hun, im not gonna give up, i have to do this or nothings ever going to change, i just dont believe im going to do it if that makes sense- logicallysticking to diet i will reach goal but i just cant see it, and i think alot of the fear is that im worried that thingsarent going to be better even if i reach goal so usually sabotage, ive held off doing so many things with my life putting itdown to my weight and saying when im thin i'll do this, do that and acting like its answer to my prayers when in reality im probably just a crap person and thats where all me probs come from and dont matter whatweight i am wont change it. guess just feeling sorry for myself really, been in tears all night.

Thanks again,

Catdog xx
 
catdog said:
Thanks hun, im not gonna give up, i have to do this or nothings ever going to change, i just dont believe im going to do it if that makes sense- logicallysticking to diet i will reach goal but i just cant see it, and i think alot of the fear is that im worried that thingsarent going to be better even if i reach goal so usually sabotage, ive held off doing so many things with my life putting itdown to my weight and saying when im thin i'll do this, do that and acting like its answer to my prayers when in reality im probably just a crap person and thats where all me probs come from and dont matter whatweight i am wont change it. guess just feeling sorry for myself really, been in tears all night.

Thanks again,

Catdog xx

You are not a crap person! Would you call anyone else that? No, so stop it now..
Don't put off being you or doing things due to your weight, life is for enjoying and living no matter what we weigh. We are all a long time gone so grab what you can of life with both hands..
You are the answer to your own prayers get some self belief and self love going pet.
Remember you were created by the amazing sperm that beat all the thousands of others to the egg? Then you survived the months before you were born? You are a walking miracle made up of fascinating elements and the scientists still couldn't tell you everything about your body and brain!
You owe it to yourself to remember all that and start to believe in your own self worth.
You go girl! We are all behind you! Just remember its a long journey but enjoy the trip!
X

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins
 
You are not a crap person! Would you call anyone else that? No, so stop it now..
Don't put off being you or doing things due to your weight, life is for enjoying and living no matter what we weigh. We are all a long time gone so grab what you can of life with both hands..
You are the answer to your own prayers get some self belief and self love going pet.
Remember you were created by the amazing sperm that beat all the thousands of others to the egg? Then you survived the months before you were born? You are a walking miracle made up of fascinating elements and the scientists still couldn't tell you everything about your body and brain!
You owe it to yourself to remember all that and start to believe in your own self worth.
You go girl! We are all behind you! Just remember its a long journey but enjoy the trip!
X

Sent from my iPad using MiniMins

the sperm bit made me lol i feel bit silly writing all that down now really, usually keep me nutball thoughts to myself :eek: guess just needed to get it out, idont really wanna leave them up incase people think im actually a nutball lol but youve taken time to reply thats so lovely thank you.

Catdog xx
 
Keep your head up hun yr doing really well and will continue to do so we r here when u need us ok :)

I had a rubbish night last night and I ain't started yet my friends come over and was planning a night out for food wen I sed I wasn't going they said why so I sed and they went on about how dangerous and how they new someone who had gall stones etc and just made me doubt everything but after lovely ppl on here and reassurance I 100% ready for it now :)

We can do this we want to deep down lows and highs are natural :) xx
 
Keep your head up hun yr doing really well and will continue to do so we r here when u need us ok :)

I had a rubbish night last night and I ain't started yet my friends come over and was planning a night out for food wen I sed I wasn't going they said why so I sed and they went on about how dangerous and how they new someone who had gall stones etc and just made me doubt everything but after lovely ppl on here and reassurance I 100% ready for it now :)

We can do this we want to deep down lows and highs are natural :) xx

Thanks Louise, my problem is i think too much anyway, and now i dont need to plan food and stuff ive got even more time to think doh, gonna work on the no thought thing, not like owt earth shattering goes on in there hehe, out for me walk in a bit with oh and dog and gonna practise me knitting when get back lol or maybe have bit pamper, hopefully me bit pity party i threw for meself is over :copon: feel bit silly now :eek:

Glad you are feeling more positive now after scare from your friends, this diet really is great :)

Catdog xx
 
catdog said:
Thanks Louise, my problem is i think too much anyway, and now i dont need to plan food and stuff ive got even more time to think doh, gonna work on the no thought thing, not like owt earth shattering goes on in there hehe, out for me walk in a bit with oh and dog and gonna practise me knitting when get back lol or maybe have bit pamper, hopefully me bit pity party i threw for meself is over :copon: feel bit silly now :eek:

Glad you are feeling more positive now after scare from your friends, this diet really is great :)

Catdog xx

Aww u don't have to feel silly hun it's yr feelings playing with u but it's fine we all have them!!
Yeah I think too much too that's why I was all confused but I feel fine today just cleaned out my fridge and doing a shopping list my oh thinks I gone mad!! Lol no change there then

I can wait to start now really excited :) just hope I cope thru til ketosis so I will be messaging everyone like mad to get thru :) xx
 
Aww u don't have to feel silly hun it's yr feelings playing with u but it's fine we all have them!!
Yeah I think too much too that's why I was all confused but I feel fine today just cleaned out my fridge and doing a shopping list my oh thinks I gone mad!! Lol no change there then

I can wait to start now really excited :) just hope I cope thru til ketosis so I will be messaging everyone like mad to get thru :) xx

Everyone copes diff chick, some find first few days a breeze, fingers crossed you get in ketosis quick, im usually in day 3 so not so bad, try lay off loadsa carbs today if you can that will help you get into it quicker and easier :) im off to get me some lettuce, gonna stop off at shop with thedog and oh im having some of thatand some chicken today woot lol wil speak to you later chick, hope you have a good day, you sound so positive :D

Catdog xx
 
Catdog, just read your lovely and inspiring diary!! I noticed your Geordieisms and then noticed you are in Tyne & Wear same as me and they made me smile seeing them written down.

You are doing so amazingly well and I completely understand the binge eating. I am in my early 40;s and I developed binge eating in my late 30's and it is something I continue to struggle with. I recommend a book by Gillian Riley called Overcoming Overeating most recent edition. You can view a sample inside on Amazon. Now I was always sceptical about such books but wanted to give it a go. I did really well for a few weeks at the start of the year but looking back had i kept dipping into Riley and continued writing in my journa/Diary on my bedside table every night I may have controlled those binges and chosen the right foods.

Whilst I am not qualified (given own past failures on vlcd and maintenance) I would say this:even when you reach goal you will need to address the binge/overeating. You are very close to goal given your height. I totally understand in a way it makes losing that extra bit harder and you think "Oh" I'll never be able to lose it" it is a fear you can't but look at how long you've stuck to SnS and how much you have lost since starting? You can lose the rest. Look forward to following the rest of your journey pet!! x
 
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