Dear Diary....
- Thread starter catdog
- Start date
catdog
Amiguette
Yep!! Not looking too good tho, as it's 2nd TOTM in 3 weeksx needed 3.5lbs for my 2 stone xx
oh no poor thing-TOTM is a bugger on this diet, but 24.5lb for your first three weeks WOW-WEE
xx
catdog
Amiguette
Thanks! Feeling a bit low today but I'll get there!
aw hun is it anything thats made you feel that way or just a bad day mentally for you? xx
catdog
Amiguette
i'll go have a look now chick xx
bb12
Full Member
Hi hun,
thanks for posting
Catdog xx
how have you been getting on?
im about to start sertraline what meds are you taking if you dont mind me asking? was on paroxetine before not a nice drug
anyways hope your having a good day
catdog
Amiguette
Hiya chick, im on 40mg of citalapram, it is for both depression and anxiety, anxiety werent great this morning was due to go over the hosp to drop off urine sample as ive just be put on accutane for skin probs and suspected tumour in me kidney causing seperate skin issue but couldnt face leaving house
diets going good, will feel stronger after few days on it, not confident with it atm. how you getting on? xx
WelshJojo
Gold Member
catdog said:Hiya chick, im on 40mg of citalapram, it is for both depression and anxiety, anxiety werent great this morning was due to go over the hosp to drop off urine sample as ive just be put on accutane for skin probs and suspected tumour in me kidney causing seperate skin issue but couldnt face leaving house
What diet u doing now Hun xx
no1mom23
Silver Member
catdog said:hi hun
dont be daunted by site and things, it really is an amazing place, if you can get along to group do i cannit recommend it enough, its not run by a leader, theres no membership fees nowt like that, its run by people going through same as us, usually person who's been there awhile volunteers to get the new literature and things and each week theres a dif step they go through n you can talk bout your experience if you like but i didnt speak for longtime ha. im not cured, you have to want to give up the binges n go up the steps but ive come along way from where i was caught in binge cycle n couldnt get outofit, i can goa long time without bingeing n cope a lot better with the urges, my anti ds mess withmy head alot so havent been great last couple weeks waiting for them to settle but compared to the 'old me' its amazing, the first time i went to meeting i cried (alot do) it was such feeling of relief hearing other people talking bout things i do with food ide felt iwas the only one that extreme n alone with it for a long time n to see that there was a way through it.counsellors were useless, if ide gonewith anorexia theyde have been straight on it but cos i overate they were waste of my time.one of the ones i seen told me to drink more water as a cure for me depressionseriously! n not being funny but that one was size of a house end and cos i weighed 5x less than her she looked at me like she didnt wanna know bout it. one of psychaitrist i seen was an old bloke told me i couldnt have depression cos people with depression arent fat, they dont eat, i gave him what for ive been both sides of weight spectrum n he was like dont try impress me with that!it was like yeah mate, i go through each day trying not to kill meself, hating myself,having no life n been diagnosed by doctor n other councillors, on every anti d going with two previous suicide attempts because im normal and happy as pig in ****,what a moron. sorry for rant lol good luck with oa hun,im sorry you are going through this its awful, i wouldnt wish it on anyone
and lol did ye have lucky escape haha
Catdog xx
Its nice to find someone to talk to that actually understands what its like : )
catdog
Amiguette
Want2BeSlim
Gold Member
I'm glad to have you back on board too!
I used to be on Citalopram. I was on them from 18 until about 22 60mg a day but stopped taking them about 4 years ago. I keep thinking about taking them again, not sure what to do yet.
xx
catdog
Amiguette
so so chick, mental ness keeping me down, trying to be stronger than it, just so tired off these tablets all the time. ive never done online meeting before, might do that this week as really need to get to a meting and wont be able to get to this weeks.if you can get along to a 'real' one do, you'll get all the literature and things for free,not sure how they work that for new people online,might be bit strange for you for you,let me know how it goes chick.
Hi luv2bslim, ive been on all doses of this one, ive upped, downed, so many times (mostly after consulting doc), it just makes me into zombie like person really, still feel the crappyness but dont feel the goodness - bit backward lol, why do i take it you might be thinking lol more so my mood is stable for awhile, although i have happy times off tabs, my moods go up and down so fast, its hard to handle, especially the suicidal feelings, its kinda like having rest from that when on them, but then they turn crappy cos cant deal with not being able to laugh,like really laugh at something yano and have fun so its constant cycle of on and off. Also they do help my anxiety some, compared to without anyway- sometimes i think these tabs are duds/placebos and the effect they have is all in me head, but then i am mad
ive tried other tablets previous but these ive been on and off for 3/4 years i guess.i just read that back and it comes across very simple and lacks a daisy but im just not very good at explaining/talking about it- sorry if its a bit blargh.
let me know what you decide to do hun,i think maybe its time for me to try a different kind, its just scary.
oh and thank you, its good to be back on board
xx
bb12
Full Member
Hiya chick, im on 40mg of citalapram, it is for both depression and anxiety, anxiety werent great this morning was due to go over the hosp to drop off urine sample as ive just be put on accutane for skin probs and suspected tumour in me kidney causing seperate skin issue but couldnt face leaving house
im not surprised your anxious hope the hospital are taking good care of you and that you managed to drop your sample off
think the first 2 weeks on vlcd are really hard but then does seem to get a bit easier
im doing ok thanks managed to stick to diet for 5 days before eating at weekend! dont know whats wrong with me
back on it today though just under 16 weeks till i get married i need to do this
catdog
Amiguette
im not surprised your anxious hope the hospital are taking good care of you and that you managed to drop your sample off
think the first 2 weeks on vlcd are really hard but then does seem to get a bit easier
im doing ok thanks managed to stick to diet for 5 days before eating at weekend! dont know whats wrong with me
back on it today though just under 16 weeks till i get married i need to do this
hi hun, i know its important to get it done, i did um fill the jug lol but then couldnt leave house and you have to get it there within the 24 hours as the jug has preservatives in it, so now gotta get another jug and do it again as cant us that one any more, im an idiot.
aww hun i didnt know you was getting married, wow only 16 weeks how excitin
Re diet, dont panic! take it in small installments, im restarting today after half arsed attempt last few days, im doing a 14 day challenge, all i gotta do is make it to the 14 days and will weigh less than i am now and be start be start of new mein control, gonna glug water like its going out of fashion, exercise, eat only my packs and im gonna be bloody happy bout it if it kills me haha. And then take it as another 14 day after that, might seem silyl but 14 days at a time doesnt seem such a big number out of my 25 years whereas looking at bigger picture seems lifetime away.
Catdog xx
Want2BeSlim
Gold Member
No no not at all actually! I can relate to everything you said and totally understand. I agree it's not the easiest thing to explain, but when you explain to a person who has been through/going through the same thing it makes total sense.
It's very hard to find someone around the same age as me with the same issues (sorry if that word sounds bad, I don't know which else to use). I don't normally tell anyone as I feel embarrassed about it but the sad thing is, it's not my fault, it's out of my control. I have battled with severe depression for too long now and I'm sick and tired of it. The anxiety really doesn't help either and can make social situations that most people think nothing of extremely difficult. I have pretty much wasted the last 12 years of my life, the best years of my life! due to my mental health issues and it's really starting to get to me to the point where I get angry with myself.
I remember the citalopram making me zombie like, but it gave me a break like you said then it was hard to take because of the lack of emotion... it's just one big circle of struggle if you ask me.
Anyway, enough about me! this is your diary and I just want you to know I understand and NEVER like hearing someone else is going through this... honestly, I wouldn't wish my depression and anxiety on my worst enemy.
I'm here if you need to chat about this sort of stuff. Not sure I'll be much help, but it's always good to speak to someone who's been through it. In the past I have told people who have never suffered with it and they frown and think I'm nuts I swear or just say "get over it"... yeah, like it's soooo easy I would have done it 12 years ago!
Ok I'm going on again, sorry xx
