Determinator is Determined to get to goal :)

[determinator]

Day 17

Hey had a great day today , i was at work on a late so my packs are easy to spread , I have one at lunch before I start , one at break ( about 7pm ) and one when I get home about 10 pm no time to get peckish or think about food .. I am on an early shift tomorrow though , which is much harder

I have been really thinking about my weight loss today . I have been overweight all my life , was a fat baby , a fat child and a fat teenager ... I have not been below 13 -14 stone since I was about 11-12 , and i am actually finding it a little scarey to be lower than this , I am now in the 11 stone bracket and am always so surprised when I catch sight of myself in a mirror or window .... i have always been the fat girl .. so not quite sure what I am now !!!! My blubber was like a bubble that protected me and made me 'invisible ' .. I could also blame all the things that went wrong on my weight .. i am very aware that being slimmer is not going to make my instantly happy and make my life amazing , but now I have nothing to blame but myself !!!

I am also worried about my body image and hoping that it will imrove with time , I still 'feel ' like a size 26 ,19 stone woman , I do not feel 'slim ' ( ish ) and I just hope that I will get to goal and feel happy there

wow that was a good ramble , feels good to write about these things , and hopefully I can look back in a few months and feel better ..... I am just sooo new to this 'normal size ' thing and finding it very daunting !!!

 

[determinator]

another good day today I was a bit worried as I was on an early and struggle with knowing when to have my packs , but it worked well , i had 1/2 a bar at 5.30 before I set off for work , the other 1/2 on my break at 10.30 . Then a shake at 5pm when the kids have their tea and one just now at 8.30
feeling positive again and less hungry , although the scales arent being too positive ..... but will see what monday brings !
My CDC said that my losses may start to slow soon as my BMI is 27 , so i may need to start 810 soon as she has found that this can actually kick start weight loss again .. just wish I could SS to goal to be honest !!

My hubby is away tonight and I am feeling really lonely he used to work away monday to friday fo years and started a new job a few months ago which means he is home every night , but he is away tonight and I seem to have got used to having him here as I am feeling really sad about it .. at least its only 1 night means my 3 cats can share my bed tonight

 

[Sarah Lou]

Don't be sad Just been catching up on your diary, well done on your five pounds!! really pleased for you I was working a late last night and I find it easier than an early. I'm cold to ! By the time the evening comes the heaters are cold to the touch Might need to put the thermals on soon. Have a good day tomorrow and good luck with the dress hunt x

 

[Lily]

Hi hun, hope you managed to have a nice evening even though your hubby wasn't there. Hopefully the cats kept you nice and warm - I've only got the one, but she really seems to like sleeping on my feet!

And here's hoping that after working that early those blooming scales move downwards soon!

 

[determinator]

Day 20

Hey , had a great day today although didnt have the nest evening last night :/ had my omelette from the chinese ,, which is ok , but then had some of hubbys chips and a chicken ball Been testing all day and only knocked myself out of ketosis for a few hours , so now peeing like a loony and getting lovely pink colours on my ketosticks again

Beent to a friends for tea tonight , and they all sat and ate a full roast chicken dinner whilst I sat there scoffing my peanut bar .. which was yum
Then she bought out a huge victoria sponge she had made , looked and smelt amazing .. so I got her to cut me a slice .. and bought it home and put it in the freezer for when I get to goal !!

Tomorrow we are going swimming which I love , then I am going to do the food shopping whist hubby takes the kids to KFC for lunch ! Then home , housework and I am going to cook a toad in the hole for tea

I am looking forward to weigh in on monday , my new CDC is soooo nice and I enjoy seeing her , I am not expecting too much as had a few wobbly days with a few 810 type meals , but after the 19 lb in 2 weeks I will be appy with anything 2lb or over

I also added a recent pic to my album of me trying a dress on for my work crimbo do , today was the very first time that i tried a dress on and actually quite liked what I saw !!!

 

[leeds123]

you look gorgeous in the dress. i love your posts, and feel so ashamed of myself. i started in jan having had my third child and this year i have lost about 30lbs but this happened early on so since about may-june i have been faffing and faffing, going up, then down, then back up again. when i see what you have achieved i feel humbled and embarrassed that idont have your strength of mind and character. i loved your post about being fat and now being thin. it really made me think about how amazing you have done, and although you make it sound effortless i am sure you too have your own demons! you are inspirational and i am SO happy for you!

 

[determinator]

Day 21

thanks leeds but honestly there is nothing amazing about me , I just manged to get into the right mindset and plough on , and I havent reached goal yet, so it could still go pear shaped !! I do think this diet only works if you are 100 % n the right place mentally , but i you am sure you will get there , did you see the poem Tess posted about the weight loss journey ? it says it all , we are all on the smae journey , and will all take our own route but end up in the same place eventually !!!

been a tough day today , went swimming with hubby and the kids this morning and instead of dropped them off at KFC for lunch whilst I did the food shopping , the kids fell asleep so stayed int he car with hubby whilst I did the shopping , therefore i ended up sitting in KFC watching them eat one my favourite foods I actually cried a little , felt that I was a let donw to them as i couldnt even enjoy lunch out with them , and it was even worse that hubby left the most amazing looking peice of chicken , and I had to watch it go to waste BUT I didnt give in , I had my bar , which I also LOVE and plenty of water
weigh in tomorrow ... My scales only show a loss of 2lb which is a but dissapointing , but still a loss .. my CDC that often she sees peoples weight loss stall at this stage and often swapping to 810 can kick start it again .. I would rather not , but will give SS one more week and see how I do

Wish me luck

 

[determinator]

week 3 weigh in

lost 3 lb this week which is not bad considering 2 SS+ days and a chinese .... My CDC really wants me to start 810 this week , she says that when people get down to my sort of BMI that their weight loss slows and she has found that if they start 810 it can increase again .. I am not really ready to add food just yet , i like the fact I dont have to think about food on SS , and also I did my food shopping yesterday and pay day is friday so not got many pennies ,so we have agreed i will do 1 more week SS then start 810 next week

I just cannot beleive I am in the 11 stones now .. i really never imagined i would get this far ... itss pretty unbelievable

 

[Moleymole]

hun you are fantastic whats your BMI now ? I'm going up to SS+ in 2 weeks (I'll be in the 11's then) and then 810 the week after bit scared about it though I can see where your coming from x

 

[determinator]

my BMI is 26.6 at the moment , about another 10 lb till its 25 , but my CDC says that she finds people actually start to loose more on 810 at this stage !!! I am doing another week of SS and then see how i feel . I have my works crimbo do 3 weeks tomorrow so will be good to be on 810 by then as then I can drink without worrying
I am going to skip SS+ as I did it before and found the amounts were too small to satisfy me and I wanted more , although it is a great plan worth a try

 

[determinator]

Oh meant to say that my CDC got me some phsylium ( sp?) husks this week as I do not like having to use laxatives to help me 'go' ( and also suppositories now and again ) so I now have a HUGE tub of these husks , I have had a glass of orange flavoured water with some in , which was ok , a bit like the 'bitty' orange juice , but just had a teaspoon in my choc mint shake and I couldnt even tell it was there I will be having them in my shakes from now on , they make it a bit thicker which is actually quite nice as seems more filling

Lets hope they work

 

[leeds123]

well done D. am sure soon enough you'll be in the 10's. the husks sound good. i went to holland and barrett today but their husk tablets were about£15 so gave them a miss. i struggle with poos too but dont want to take laxatives. let me know how you get on.

 

[determinator]

OOOOPS

HI, well yesterday was my 1st bad day I had weigh in in the morning which made me very very happy as I got into the 11's ( not been here since I was about 10 !) so I decided to have a 810 type meal at tea time ( I will be going onto 810 next week so thought I would have a practice !!) well I was making fajitas for hubby and kids , so thought I would have some without the wrap .. then I decided 'sod it ' and had a few wraps , I knew it would knock me out of K but to be honest I find that when i knock myself out I can easily get back within a day , but then after that I couldnt stop myself and had a small cake , 4 choccy biscuits and a big bowl of coco pops !!! Grrrrrrr I am ok this morning and will SS for the rest of the week but I so need to stop wanting these kind of foods .
I have been speaking to a friend who had hypnosis for a chocolate habit , and she hasnt touched any since so I think I am going to look into this when I get to goal as i just CANNOT regain this weight now !!!!!

I will post later , hopefully after a 100% day

 

[leeds123]

oh D! im suffering too! read my diary for a full update. however, i would say move on and draw a line, which you seem to have done anyway. and if its any consolation then its better to have a bad day after weigh in than just before. you'll be fine i'm sure. i'm so hungry today i could eat a scabby toenail!

 

[determinator]

oh D! im suffering too! read my diary for a full update. however, i would say move on and draw a line, which you seem to have done anyway. and if its any consolation then its better to have a bad day after weigh in than just before. you'll be fine i'm sure. i'm so hungry today i could eat a scabby toenail!

I dont think there are many carbs in toenails , even scabby ones , so I would go for it !!!!!
Bless ya , i am ok so far today , have 1.5 litres of water and my lunch time shake and feeling good , the scales only showed 1lb gain this morning so I am hoping I havent done any real damage

 

[determinator]

wed 24rd Nov

well I was 100 % yesterday I have just tested and still not back in ketosis , I sure knocked myself out good
Should be good day today , I am taking Elena and Abigail to playgroup this morning , then going to my parents for lunch ( choc mint shake for me , then my friend , who is a beauitian is coming to wax my eyebrows and tint my eyelashes then I am going to see Harry Potter WHHHOOOOOP !!! I have chopped a peanut bar up into little bits ready for the cinema , and the only problem is no pause button so I can go to the loo 27 times hope I can hold on for the 2 hours and 20 mins !!!!

 

[leeds123]

Enjoy!!!

 

[determinator]

not been a bad day today , Harry Potter was fabulous , but I have been feeling really hungry all evening so have just had a boiled egg as i know its not going to stop me getting back into ketosis soon

I am at work in the morning , always a tough one with being up so early and trying to split my packs , so I have boiled an egg for morning and will have this before I go then can have a pack on my break then tea time then one in the evening

I am soooo not looking forward to getting up at 5.30 am tomorrow , it is going t be sooooo cold and I am not good at cold which on this diet !!!!!

 

[determinator]

thursday 25th nov

yay not a bad day today I had my egg this morning and work went well and just had my frozen choc tetra icecream

The main problem today as been constipation the pysillium husks dont seem to have worked and I needed to go all morning at work , which isnt possible , so this obviously made it worse ... so when I got home .. 2 suppositories and lots of pain later .. I gave birth .. OMG I lost 2 whole lbs too !!!!! I am going to go back to my movicol on alternate days , and as I am starting 810 next week this may be better .. I hope

work again tomorrow but on a late so no problem then we are going to stay with freinds over the weekend which will be hard but she is the one tat introduced me to VLCD's so she is very understanding
We are going to go to Lush and I will treat myself to lots of gorgeous smelling products and hopefully get a few dresses and clothes that fit me !!!

I am 3lb away from loosing 7 stone so I need to think of something to treat myself with .. hmmmm

 

[JulesK81]

OMG you are such an inspiration and you look fab in your pic! Treat yourself to beauty treatments when you hit 7 stone - this will be how I reward myself! I think one stone will be eyebrows waxed and tinted Good luck hunny xx