Do People Treat You Differently Since You Lost Weight?

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Crystal, 24 November 2006 Social URL.

  1. Crystal

    Crystal Member

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    Hi there, I just thought I'd ask whether anyone else has experienced anything like this...

    Since I've lost weight, I've noticed that certain people amongst my colleagues and friends treat me differently. I can't put my finger on how, but I get the feeling that they're more attentive to me when I make a point, the differences are subtle - but they're definitely there.

    Maybe it's because I'm more confident, and so my expectations and the way I present myself have changed, so people react to that as opposed to the fact that I'm thinner.

    I'm so loathe to say that people are more respectful now, but I have to admit that a few individuals are. It makes me sad in some ways as I'm exactly the same person I always was - why do I suddenly command their attention just because I'm wearing a smaller clothes size??!!

    Sorry for rambling, but I was prompted to post by the fact that I've just been invited to dinner by someone who didn't so much as acknowledge me this time last year when I was very obese... I took great delight in telling him I was too busy!

    xxx
     
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  3. Woodles

    Woodles C D Counsellor, Bristol

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    Yes i definately get treated differently since losing weight.

    Well at the rubbish dump the men now run to help where before they moaned and had some problem with their backs.

    People seem to listen to what i have to say, they take me serious they are more friendly, helpful.

    Im different too tho, not that shy quiet person i used to be.

    The girl who was happy to go along with everything and not speak up is long gone hehehehehe.

    M
     
  4. westhills

    westhills I STILL mean it!

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    Same here. I don't take cr** from ANYONE now. Before, I used to let most things go unchallenged - not any more. My husband describes this change in attitude as "evil"!!!!!
    Ann x
     
  5. Crystal

    Crystal Member

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    I've had to try and break some habits in terms of the way my friends treat me. For years I've always been the one left holding their coats at the edge of the dancefloor whilst they're strutting about in the middle of it!

    I was always the one who stood outside the fitting rooms to mind the shopping, whilst they tried clothes on in shops where I couldn't fit into anything. I've found that their expectations that I'll still follow them round meekly are still there - I don't blame them, as this has gone on for so many years I can't expect them to change overnight, but I'm working hard to be the one who keeps them waiting for a change!! Some of them don't like it to be honest - but I'm enjoying the switch in my relationships, with both food and people!!!
     
  6. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

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    I find that people do too, and sometimes I find it a bit unbelievable, My husbands boss for example, all of a sudden he holds a conversation with me, where as before he made me feel inadequate.
    Also a guy who I have known for years came in to work the other day, nothing new in that, he often pops in, but then asked me if I wanted a drink as it was lunch time, now I know that there was nothing like "that" in it, but he wouldnt have done it before. Its like he was saying, yes, I can be seen with you now.
    Maybe though, its also my perception and how I feel, as I am more confident then I can hold a conversation better, but on the whole, yes, I do see people being different now.
     
  7. moomin-mama

    moomin-mama Live for today!

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    I always thought it was weird that the bigger you got the less people saw you - confusing or what???
     
  8. Crystal

    Crystal Member

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    Hi Moomin-mama - I know exactly what you mean, it's bizarre!!! I have fond that by losing weight though, I've stepped out of certain people's comfort zone, and now they're weird around me. It's these people that when I see them, consistently offer me cake and biscuits etc etc..

    The thing that gets to me though is that I'm exactly the same person that I always was. Suddenly though, to some people my opinion has become worth listening to!

    x
     
  9. Geri

    Geri Gold Member

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    Def - because it's as tho you're invisible to them and peeps don't take any notice of you :(


    For years I've always been the one left holding their coats at the edge of the dancefloor whilst they're strutting about in the middle of it!
    Crystal, I can def identify with you on this one - I too was the 'coat lady', not on the dance floor but at the funfair rides!! - I'd be standing there wishing that I could fit on the rides - no more tho, of course now I could fit on them I don't bother coz they make me feel sick!! Nice to have the choice tho :D

    I'm about to go into battle with the LEA,which may or may not end up in a tribunal... It's kicked my bum into gear to get on with this diet tho, as I def think people take more notice of you, when you're not so large. Is prob due to the fact that have more confidence etc But am ready for a fight!!
     
  10. Crystal

    Crystal Member

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    Good luck taking them on Geri! It's sad but true that people take more notice of you when you're thinner - which is simply prejudice when it comes down to it... Enjoy feeling strong and relish the challenge that you're facing. Keep us posted as to how you get on!

    And as for being the one left holding the coats - never again!

    xx
     
  11. julesrush

    julesrush Norwich CDC

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    But saying that how much of it is how you felt about yourself before you lost the weight??Awkward to talk to people as you felt they with thinking 'what a big lass' or friends who felt comfortable with you as you werent a threat when you were larger????

    I was always a person that could mingle with anyone and never felt my size was an issue. I have found my confidence is higher now i have lost weight but i havent found anyone treats me any different.My old friends are still my friends and they are really pleased with my weight loss ,but they were friends who never put me down or made me feel awkward maybe thats the difference

    julesrush
     
  12. Biggirlsam

    Biggirlsam Banned

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    I totally agree!!! I am the same person I havn't changed at all but people keep coming up to me and talking to me as if i'm their old buddy!!! They never spoke to me before and its soooo hard not to say p*** off I wasn't good enough before!!!! I now only make a concious effort with people who made the effort with old Sam.... Its so unfair that our size dictates our worth:( .
     
  13. cah-ching

    cah-ching Gold Member

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    I've nothing to add to this as all my feelings and opinions on this subject have been articulated by you people.

    All I want to say is, you are a brilliant set of people and topics like this are why I come here and post as often as I jolly can.

    Cheers and Much Love ....
     
  14. sammy

    sammy Member

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    hi everyone,
    i have to say that i too have found people treat me differently, i agree that my confidence is a big improvement on what it was previously, and it's not just men, since loosing weight one person a female is really catty towards me, she was smaller than me when i was overweight but not much, now she is alot larger than me, i think it's jealousy but like i say if i can do it anyone can, you just have to really want to make the change. i must agree about the clothes thing though, when i was overweight i hardly ever bought clothes, and when i did i certainly never tried them on, i just bought them and hid them till i got home, and i never really liked the clothes i bought, now i have gone mad clothes shopping i love it, the choice is alot better too, sounds shallow but i have alot of years to make up for, good luck to everyone who's trying to loose weight
     
  15. Gill-cdthing

    Gill-cdthing Gone, but who cares huh

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    men treat me differently they suddenly are very attentive, and shop assistants suddenly see you,
     
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