Do you know the real reasons as to why you ate?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by louale, 24 January 2009 Social URL.

  1. louale

    louale Silver Member

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    Hey All,

    I know on the LL journey we are supposed to come to understand the emotional reasons as to why we ate and why we are where we are today, but what if you can't put your finger on it, how can you work on the 'real issue/s' if you don't know what they are?

    Last year I went for hypnotheray, which also included NLP techniques, during the session, we spoke about various childhood memories and the hypnotherapist seemed to think this was my reason for having started comfort eating, but I'm not too sure.

    I used to congratulate myself when I had had a good week, eat when I was loney, when bored, when sad, when happy, when worried, and I think probably for any emotion - so what does this mean? How do I begin to decipher what the real reasons are, so that I can begin to work on them? Is this something that will come to light during the LL group sessions?

    Anyone had the same problems?

    Louale x
     
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  3. PurpleButterfly

    PurpleButterfly 16lb to go!

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    Mmm I suppose emotional reasons can be for many reasons not just one, so it could be for all of the above reasons?
     
  4. Huseyin

    Huseyin Silver Member

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    Hmm well i would have to say i ate, because i genuinely liked to eat, However i can see the emotional eat aspect of it too, surely too much joy in food leads to what i became, the key is moderation and control from now on/
     
  5. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    I overate to silence a lot of things, mostly driven by guilt, grief and regret. And anger. SO I was indeed an emotional eater.

    I spent years Louale trying to look inside, to see why I did what I did.

    Food started out as comfort. Because my ex-husband did not know how to love anyone, food became the love I was not getting. It also became a fortress to keep him away because I was angry and hurt that he could not love me as I was.

    Over the years though it took on more sinister meanings and it became punishment. It really did feel like a slow form of suicide.

    I tried to put my finger on it over and over and over.

    I have found, through this and other aspects of life - when you are running thoughts through your head....if anything brings tears to your eyes, or makes you cry - that is generally what is at the root of things.

    That is how it was for me. As soon as something MADE me remember and face and deal - I cried, REALLY cried for the first time in years.

    But from that point - I was then able to move forward. At long last. It freed me and things started to happen. ANd things started to make sense.

    I now know I spent years and years in denial. BUt finally, knowing beyond a doubt what was keeping me from living the life I was meant to live, I faced it. It was hard, but essential.

    Its different for everyone. BUt there are a lot of penny-dropping momentsw along the path. I am sure things will all start to become clear for you.

    xx
     
    Last edited: 24 January 2009
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  6. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    Hi Louale - I'm thinking things will become clearer as we work through the 14 week foundation taking small steps, some of which will no doubt lead to those lightbulb moments BL is talking about.

    I feel a bit the same - I have eaten for son many reasons I can't begin to understand what my real triggers are. I hope to gain this self-awareness as the weeks progress. ;)
     
  7. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    The LLC is thew key

    Hi Ladies,
    Both BL and I had masses of weight to lose. IMthink it may be different for people who haven't covered up their emotions so much.
    She and I have been on a very similar journey although of course with different issues to confront.
    We both knew what our problems were, but had locked them deep inside trying not to think about them because they were too painful and covering them up with layers of fat and trying to keep the hurt at bay.
    We have the same LLC and she seems to have the knack (sorry,skill!) of recognisibg the right time to coax people to admit what is troubling them.
    BL has been very open in sharing her issues witihIn the group as well as on this forum. I less so, but I have been working through them while on LL.
    I had already started before I began my weight loss and LL has just helped me progress.
    I really feel my life was on hold for about 25years - and now I'm ready to get on with it.
    People who know me would think that's strange, but I know what I mean, it's the internal stuff I understand so much bettter now.
    No regrets. It's all character building.
    I hope you find the same sense of peace and self knowledge.
     
  8. EmVeg

    EmVeg Do a little dance!

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    Personally, I have a lot of reasons why I overeat, or why I think I do...but they do all stem back to the same 2-3 main issues in my lfe.

    Yes, like you I eat when bored/upset/angry/happy ect.. but there is reasons why you turn to food in these times other than going on a run or some other non-eating way.

    But, also I don't think it HAS to be related to something that has happened, in a traumatic way. I also think it could be something like you were just never taught how to eat healthily, or they are habits you have picked up from in your childhood. If you were bored maybe you were given something to eat to keep you occupied, or when you were upset or hurt you got sweets.

    For me it is a bit of both.
     
  9. Demaris

    Demaris Silver Member

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    I eat when I am stressed or unhappy. I 'reward' myself with food. If I feel grumpy, I would make a huge bacon sandwich, smothered with mayo and butter, sit down and chill. It was always a way of reward for me. I suppose the carbs helped lift me for that half hour after, then I would slump again and be back in the fridge. :mad:
     
  10. Huseyin

    Huseyin Silver Member

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    im actually eating right now, my peanut bar!

    Woman are naturally more emotional then men, more hormones in your system, so i think its endemic to your nature more then ours. Either that or we men just don associate food to emotion, i think we just make bad choices, like for example, i could have that healthy chicken breast with salad or i could have that doner kebab
     
  11. Demaris

    Demaris Silver Member

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    I think your absolutely right! My partner (who is very scientific in his viewpoint) often points out to me when I bring up the emotion/food thing that its all rubbish. He just doesnt get it. He eats when he is hungry, only when his body needs fuel. And he can go for hours not eating anything and feel 'normal'. Makes me sick sometimes! lol
     
  12. brumchick

    brumchick Full Member

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    Hi Louale, I struggled with this myself for a while. I believed I didnt have any "issues" but through the groups I had a eureka moment at about week 7. Not some suppressed memory or anything but that for probably dozens of reasons I have some pretty negative core beliefs about myself, as well as the positive ones I was aware of.
    So I would say stick with it, have an open mind about the work in groups and I'm sure you will benefit in someway
     
  13. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    I too eat for emotional reasons. when i'm happy, when i'm angry, when i'm sad etc

    I don't know why and i'm worried in case when i finish LL i still don't know why. I want to have the answers!

    I'm terrified of going back to my old ways - i know its wrong when i'm doing it, i know what to eat, that i need to excercise etc - as i'm sure we all do

    so why can't i do it?!!

    i'm an intelligent, confident,successful career woman and mum to three - single mum all week as husband works away - i can and do everything else really well, so why the block with my weight????????

    Moan over, sorry! I just hope that through the LL process I find some answers deep inside me!

    daisy x
     
  14. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    From my POV, it's enough to know that I eat becuase I get bored.
    Now that I know this fact, when I feel bored I know not to eat because of it.

    I don't believe, in my case, there are any of these "deep-seated" emotional reasons as to why I overate. I just like eating, and ate because there was nothing else to do.
     
  15. Huseyin

    Huseyin Silver Member

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    yep exactly what i said, but that's men for you, we genuinely eat because we are bored or just want to eat. Imagine you could never get fat how amazing would that be... actually that would not be good because then ther would be a food shortage on earth loll
     
  16. Huseyin

    Huseyin Silver Member

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    by the way pete im likeing the new top you have there its cool
     
  17. louale

    louale Silver Member

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    Thanks for your response, they have helped me a little.

    I hope that I get to understand myself a little better throughout this journey!

    Louale x
     
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  19. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    Cheers mate, I got it for free when I bought SKATE2 on Friday 'cos I pre-ordered it.

    My favourite price, £free! :D
     
  20. somewhere_inside_is_me

    somewhere_inside_is_me Silver Member

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    Great thread, louale.

    I ate because I needed reassurance and comfort because I felt unloved. That turned into 'unlovable' as I became fatter. Unfortunately I'm a very good cook so it became a self-defeating way of proving my worth to others, cooking massive and complicated menus (and eating the leftovers).
     
  21. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Hi Somewhere inside is me

    SNAP, SNAP,SNAP.

    It has been a revelation to me to realise that my whole world need not revolve around food.
    I'm worth more than that.
    It had built up to be my identity with my friends,family as well as myself.
    I'm now doing my main shopping online and having it delivered. Have even been known recently to give them ready meals
    or say get something for yourself or even invited people round and said we'll order in a take-away (not for me though).
    Unheard of pre LL.
     
  22. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    That is it exactly!!! I wrote about that very thing earlie on about food becoming love for me, to give to others as I couldn;t give it to my husband. Or rather he wouldn't take it. Then, it became the love for me I wasn;t getting. SPot on SIIM!!!! Bulleye! The whole scenario sums it up perfectly.

    xx
     
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