Don't you just hate it when....

[peacelily]

Thanks ladies. It's just the one thing I like to do. To be me. He does bath and bed for the kids and I then come home, refreshed and full of vigour for the plan and have a chilled few hours before bed.

Peacelily, I'm gonna sound really childish and poutish now, but I don't want to go to another group. I've gone to my own for a couple of years and feel like they're mostly my friends. Also. Why should I go.

I think I'm just hormonal and maybe need to go to bed and wake up refreshed?

And Sarah, I totally see what you're saying, but the time together really isn't an issue. It's time for me, to be me, and not be wife/mother/maid. Not that any of those things are things I want to change (maid maybe!!), but I just feel like I don't have a life? Maybe not helped as I'm still off work after op.

Just had a thought though, he didn't work extra hours Friday night when they asked because of the England game??! Hmmmmm.

You don't sound childish at all I know what you mean. If I went to another group I'd probably just weigh and go cos I like my group too. Maybe the issue is, like you say, that it's ok for OH to do all his things but if it's your thing it is bottom of the pile.

That was happening to me a few years back so I made it a rule in our house that Wednesday night would be my night out and he shouldn't arrange anything in that time. I try to organise friends into that time and rarely go out at other times. It didn't go down very well to start and he continually tried to put things in but I stuck to my guns. Even now, 6 or 7 years after first starting it, he still seems surprised that I am going out on a Wednesday night! To be honest even if I don't have something organised with friends, I still go out and (this sounds very sad) will sit in my car with a cuppa from McDonalds (used to also be food but now only SW friendly things) and either read my book or watch things I've downloaded on my iPad. It's just my time, I look forward to it and I think I'm less grumpy cos I know I have it to look forward to. Maybe Monday night should be your night and he can't take the overtime and you take the hit cos it sounds like you really need some time for yourself and maybe at this point it's more important than the money. Take care x

 

[Mrs.S.]

You don't sound childish at all I know what you mean. If I went to another group I'd probably just weigh and go cos I like my group too. Maybe the issue is, like you say, that it's ok for OH to do all his things but if it's your thing it is bottom of the pile.

That was happening to me a few years back so I made it a rule in our house that Wednesday night would be my night out and he shouldn't arrange anything in that time. I try to organise friends into that time and rarely go out at other times. It didn't go down very well to start and he continually tried to put things in but I stuck to my guns. Even now, 6 or 7 years after first starting it, he still seems surprised that I am going out on a Wednesday night! To be honest even if I don't have something organised with friends, I still go out and (this sounds very sad) will sit in my car with a cuppa from McDonalds (used to also be food but now only SW friendly things) and either read my book or watch things I've downloaded on my iPad. It's just my time, I look forward to it and I think I'm less grumpy cos I know I have it to look forward to. Maybe Monday night should be your night and he can't take the overtime and you take the hit cos it sounds like you really need some time for yourself and maybe at this point it's more important than the money. Take care x

Thanks Hun.

I feel like a right cow now though. He's just rung me and said he's finishing at half 6 so I can go to group.

Maybe I just need to sort myself and my hormones out.

I do like the idea of Monday nights being my night, and its generally worked since I started Sw a couple of years ago - the current problem is he's on a casual contract in new job so no definite hours - means he picks them up as and when and often gets hours at short notice. The danger is is that if he starts saying no then they'll just ring someone else instead!

God I think I just need a few hours to chill or a night off or something! Shame I don't drink as I think alcohol could even be the answer!

Thanks everyone for helping me though xxx

 

[Lemon Squash]

Its this ou course but you have to pay the whole lot in one go :sigh: things happe or dont happen for a reason I suppose.
Y177 - Understanding society - Open University Course

Hi Emsie,

I'm doing a degree with the Open University and you can usually pay in installments. Depending on your circumstances you might qualify for financial support although you have to apply earlier than the course deadline.

 

[kingleds]

Thanks ladies. It's just the one thing I like to do. To be me. He does bath and bed for the kids and I then come home, refreshed and full of vigour for the plan and have a chilled few hours before bed.

Peacelily, I'm gonna sound really childish and poutish now, but I don't want to go to another group. I've gone to my own for a couple of years and feel like they're mostly my friends. Also. Why should I go.

I think I'm just hormonal and maybe need to go to bed and wake up refreshed?

And Sarah, I totally see what you're saying, but the time together really isn't an issue. It's time for me, to be me, and not be wife/mother/maid. Not that any of those things are things I want to change (maid maybe!!), but I just feel like I don't have a life? Maybe not helped as I'm still off work after op.

Just had a thought though, he didn't work extra hours Friday night when they asked because of the England game??! Hmmmmm.

Okay. So you need to tell him. You know yourself that most blokes are rubblish at seeing the signs right in front of them. I have been trying to explain to the guy who sits across from me that the reason his wife is feeling down is because all she does it look after the kids, and do housework etc and he never gives her a break.. He actually said 'Yeah, but I do a full time job' to which I replied SO DOES SHE - except she doesn't get to leave it in the office everynight & have the weekends off like you. In fact if I didn't know you were in Leeds I'd think you were married to him the way you are talking.

amek some time for yourself. Demand it. He can't use the work reason when it suits him and then convenitently forgot the money troubles when there is football on. Thats not the way it works!

 

[*Emsie*]

Hi Emsie,

I'm doing a degree with the Open University and you can usually pay in installments. Depending on your circumstances you might qualify for financial support although you have to apply earlier than the course deadline.

Unfortunately I only found the course at the weekend after a realisation last week that I'm going brain dead because
I don't have to think any more and take the easy option and don't bother but its affecting my chances of progressing work and money wie now and its getting frustrating! The course I found is deadline for enrolling today so too late to apply to pay in instalments etc
Maybe if I have another look around the site I will find another course or just have to wait till March.
Thanks for the suggestioin though. What degree are you doing and how are you finding it? x

 

[Mrs.S.]

Okay. So you need to tell him. You know yourself that most blokes are rubblish at seeing the signs right in front of them. I have been trying to explain to the guy who sits across from me that the reason his wife is feeling down is because all she does it look after the kids, and do housework etc and he never gives her a break.. He actually said 'Yeah, but I do a full time job' to which I replied SO DOES SHE - except she doesn't get to leave it in the office everynight & have the weekends off like you. In fact if I didn't know you were in Leeds I'd think you were married to him the way you are talking.

amek some time for yourself. Demand it. He can't use the work reason when it suits him and then convenitently forgot the money troubles when there is football on. Thats not the way it works!

Thanks for this Hun - I'm gonna have a word with him later anyway. About the using work as it suits, yes, but also about other stupid little things that get to me. Not moving empty coffee cups, not movin empty crisp packets, the pile of ironing that gets moved bed to chair to bed to chair. The list goes on I'm sure, and he probably doesn't even notice these things, but I do and they wind me up!!

Thank you for making me see that too! xx

 

[*Emsie*]

You don't sound childish at all I know what you mean. If I went to another group I'd probably just weigh and go cos I like my group too. Maybe the issue is, like you say, that it's ok for OH to do all his things but if it's your thing it is bottom of the pile.

That was happening to me a few years back so I made it a rule in our house that Wednesday night would be my night out and he shouldn't arrange anything in that time. I try to organise friends into that time and rarely go out at other times. It didn't go down very well to start and he continually tried to put things in but I stuck to my guns. Even now, 6 or 7 years after first starting it, he still seems surprised that I am going out on a Wednesday night! To be honest even if I don't have something organised with friends, I still go out and (this sounds very sad) will sit in my car with a cuppa from McDonalds (used to also be food but now only SW friendly things) and either read my book or watch things I've downloaded on my iPad. It's just my time, I look forward to it and I think I'm less grumpy cos I know I have it to look forward to. Maybe Monday night should be your night and he can't take the overtime and you take the hit cos it sounds like you really need some time for yourself and maybe at this point it's more important than the money. Take care x

Thanks Hun.

I feel like a right cow now though. He's just rung me and said he's finishing at half 6 so I can go to group.

Maybe I just need to sort myself and my hormones out.

I do like the idea of Monday nights being my night, and its generally worked since I started Sw a couple of years ago - the current problem is he's on a casual contract in new job so no definite hours - means he picks them up as and when and often gets hours at short notice. The danger is is that if he starts saying no then they'll just ring someone else instead!

God I think I just need a few hours to chill or a night off or something! Shame I don't drink as I think alcohol could even be the answer!

Thanks everyone for helping me though xxx

I posted the other day about the fact that hubby never remembers that I do certain things on certain nights but always remembers his footie night! I do do more than one thing a week but even though have gone swimming on a Monday for ages now he still has to be reminded and the same for the other stuff I do!
I think like Kingleds says its hard because we don't get to have much of a break from the household stuff/kids etc beause its there all the time surrounding us!
Maybe it does feel worse today because of hormones but that doesn't mean its not important and so is time for you to relax and be you not 'mum/wife' etc

 

[Lemon Squash]

Unfortunately I only found the course at the weekend after a realisation last week that I'm going brain dead because
I don't have to think any more and take the easy option and don't bother but its affecting my chances of progressing work and money wie now and its getting frustrating! The course I found is deadline for enrolling today so too late to apply to pay in instalments etc
Maybe if I have another look around the site I will find another course or just have to wait till March.
Thanks for the suggestioin though. What degree are you doing and how are you finding it? x

Thats a shame but as you say there are loads of courses on the site and you might find another one.

I'm doing an open degree based broadly around health and social care. I started because I was in a dead end job and didn't see how I was ever going to move upwards without qualifications and like you just felt I wasn't using my brain enough. I have enjoyed it overall which is not to say it hasn't been stressful especially around assignment deadlines and exams. However I feel that I have learnt so much and know that it will be worth it in the end.

 

[*Emsie*]

Thats a shame but as you say there are loads of courses on the site and you might find another one.

I'm doing an open degree based broadly around health and social care. I started because I was in a dead end job and didn't see how I was ever going to move upwards without qualifications and like you just felt I wasn't using my brain enough. I have enjoyed it overall which is not to say it hasn't been stressful especially around assignment deadlines and exams. However I feel that I have learnt so much and know that it will be worth it in the end.

Ahhh thats the sort of area I want to study in but wanted to do an openings course just to get the feel of the studying and area again. I've worked in the caring fields now for years and its just sort of become second nature but am not sure how to progress with it etc

 

[Jenna88]

DYJHIW your favourite TV show is taking about 9000 years to download. Aghhh!

 

[fillymum]

DYJHITW...........your favourite programme is taken off ecause there is bl00dy football !!!!

 

[l0v3child]

When youre worried about staying warm this winter in your own home because of energy prices. Fank god for log burners

Sent from my GT-I9100 using MiniMins

 

[pixie-gem]

DYJHIW your rocky road hi fi has no marsymallows

*i realise its not important in the grand scheme of things lol but it's the best bit!

 

[Jess<3]

DYJHIW you full of flu, head cold an cough.... so is my 16 month old & hubby

 

[Leapfrog]

When people send you text messages you don't understand (and can't be bothered to try and fathom). Hate text speak, just use words! You don't see people talking without using any vowels do you?!

You do in Welsh. Only joking. No offence WT

 

[WelshJojo]

You do in Welsh. Only joking. No offence WT

why have I been mentioned here? I don't even speak/write in welsh(that's presuming WT is referring to me-if not then feel free to ignore me)

 

[Arctic-BNG]

Insomnia! And we're not talking dance music here!
Why have I got so much going on on my head?

 

[M Louise H]

Click on the star symbol at the bottom of the left hand side under the posters name etc

Thank you!

When people send you text messages you don't understand (and can't be bothered to try and fathom). Hate text speak, just use words! You don't see people talking without using any vowels do you?!

My BIL does this all the time and insists on texting 'me' instead of 'I', it's not even shorter!!

...but then I am a grammar freak my main catalyst being misused apostrophes and your/you're there/they're/their.....I would have OCD but the letters are in the wrong order

 

[jamjar15]

When you have to get up 20 mins before your alarm goes off as you need a wee and can't hold on anymore without wiggling the bed and waking OH up!

 

[Jenna88]

Dyjhiw it's time for work. I would rather walk across hot coals than leave the house...it's too cold!