Down with a bump

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Snorks, 10 August 2009 Social URL.

  1. Snorks

    Snorks Full Member

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    *sigh* I suddenly feel very down about myself.

    I've been trying on dresses for a wedding in just under a months time, I've been almost enjoying it - going into shops I never could go in before, getting into a size 18 easily when previously I was hiding in 26/28s, etc.

    I've just taken some pictures of me in the dresses to send to my friend as I can't decide which I like and I am so appalled at how I look :cry::cry::cry:Honestly I'm gutted, and am really not looking forward to the wedding at all now :sigh:

    I thought perhaps that the pics would make me feel good, but I'm feeling entirely the opposite now. I just like all the wind has been taken out of my sails.

    Don't get me wrong, I always knew I had 10 stones+ to lose, but I thought having lost nearly 6 1/2 stones that I'd feel a bit better about myself.

    I feel like I just want to hide away, and just wear my baggy clothes that hide everything.

    No response required, I'm just feeling pretty gutted and a bit hideous :wave_cry:
     
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  3. The Rose

    The Rose Rosie

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    Oh bless you snorks.. Please dont be down - this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life.

    You may have felt down because you were tired from trying on dresses - you have to imagine how you would look in them with your shoes, your hair and make up. I am sure you will look like a beautiful princess on the day.

    You keep going on this journey because you have done so brilliantly and I am incredibly impressed by how much weight you have lost.

    I am sure the people who saw the photos though that you looked amazing

    Love
    Rosie x
     
  4. Snorks

    Snorks Full Member

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    Thanks Rosie - it's not my wedding though! Sorry if that wasn't clear, I've just been trying on dresses to wear as a guest. And I haven't sent the photos to anyone yet, i'm too embarrassed.

    Thank you for your kind words though x
     
  5. Minerva

    Minerva ...passing through.

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    Oh Snorks! :hug99: Think of the wonderful achievement you've accomplished! Did you ever think you'd be able to do this before? I'm 100% sure all your friends are absolutely stunned and chuffed at how far you've come too. Never ever undermine yourself. Our perceptions of ourselves are often extremely misleading and can very much ruin everything. You know what? You are better than that. Never doubt yourself, it's not worth the time.
    I have days even as a size 10 when I feel like I'm the size of an elephant and hide away in baggy jeans and a hoodie. But at the end of the day: I know, and smile at myself because I know that I am not an elephant. It's all in my head, and ONLY in my head.

    Now is the time for you to start developing that glimmer of self-worth to turn to in dark moments... we are only human, we will always have doubts and worries and moments of weakness... but that little glimmer is what keeps us going. Look at how far you've come, you're brilliant. Look at where you are going, you have the strength to go on. One day, one life.

    In the great span of things, those pictures are but a blip. A moment which will very soon be forgotten. New pictures will come, and soon... very soon, you will find the one you personally are happy with... even though, I'm sure, that if you put the new ones next to your 1st day foundation picture... I think you'll find there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of at all.

    x

    PS. Sorry for the soppy post...
     
  6. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Hey there SNorky snorks! :D I hope you are feeling a bit brighter this morning.

    I completely understand how you are feeling!! I had very much a similar photo experience when I was starting LL. We had a Christmas function to go to - I got as glammed up as I could, looked in the mirror and thought - Hey! I look pretty good tonight!!! And then later on, I saw photos from the party. ANd I was so shocked at what I saw. It was not what I had seen that night in the mirror.

    I realised then, as I still do even now occassionaly - what we see in photos is not always what we see in mirrors.

    But I used those feelings, do drive me forward, even stronger. With even more determination. I was never ever going to look like that again. That was the last awful picture I would take.

    And it did seem a long way off - before I would have a photo I couldbe proud of. But - you just keep plodding along, and before you know it, you are at the other end of the journey.

    I know moments like this can be a bit sould-destroying - but what they should be is affirmation that we have the desire and tthe ability to change ourselves, and our lives.

    And that is exactly what you are doing. It's OK to have moments like this. That strong emotion can drive you to the end.

    And I promise you -one day you will look back on these photos, and you will have nothing but love for that person in there. And you will hav pride that you overcame the heartache and dissappointment. ANd you will know, never again, will you have those feelings.

    Chin up pup!! You are doing FAB - and you are on your way to a new slim beautiful you - one that you will recognise as such, even though the rest of us already do.

    XX
     
  7. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    Snorks - your post brought back all the memories of me trying on outfits in vain for my sisters wedding in May. I had lost 4.5 stone by that point and had come down from a size 22/24 to a comfortable 18. Even at size 18 I was amazed by the number of shops I had to choose from, but still couldn't find anything I felt good in. I spend the two weeks before the eventt trying on loads of outfits. I hate shopping and I got more tired and more depressed as the wedding got nearer. I ended up buying a new top and wearing it with a pair of trousers I wore at my own wedding 11 years earlier!

    I had so wanted to wear a dress, but felt awful in all of them. On the day it was fine, but I didn't feel gorgeous and changed into somethng I was more comfortable in for the evening. But it didn't matter - because it was my sisters day! And she was delighted I had lost all the weight and was there to celebrate with her.

    After the event, my sis sent an email to say she and her friends had been looking at the pics and several of them commented on how pretty I was :eek: !!!!!!

    So, message is :-

    Don't feel Down,
    Don't hide away
    Do go and have fun

    It doesn't really matter what you wear, what does matter is that you are there and you celebrate with the person getting married. xx
     
  8. Jo B

    Jo B Full Member

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    Oh Snorks - I know how you feel, I was there a couple of weeks ago. I saw some photos of me and thought, I've lost 5 stone how can I still look like a heffer and surely after losing all of that I should be THIN. I am sure (like the others have said) that you look great, it is your head that is still seeing yourself as 6.5stone heavier than you are. You will look and feel so much better than you did before you started LL - still with it babes and carry ongoing
     
  9. Snorks

    Snorks Full Member

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    thanks all, you all have very wise words, I just need to beleive them.

    I'm still feeling pretty crappy about it all, and am even considering wearing what I wore last year to a couple of weddings - wide legged trousers and a tunic although there were too big for me then anyway.

    Polly, if I feel brave enough I'll send you the pics. I've put them on a closed group on facebook so will see about adding you.
     
  10. bigboy77

    bigboy77 Full Member

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    Hello Snorks, If my memory serves me correctly you were apprehensive about posting pics before? anyway, i felt similar to you when i posted my pics, on here and facebook. Its so true what previous posts have stated, your perception of you compared to other peoples perception is vastly different. We are all so self-critical and its so hard to see ourselves as any different to what we once were. That inner confidence is raging within you, somewhere...its waiting for you to find it and drag it out into the open!!
     
  11. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    BB! I missed your pics before - just had a look! Fan-ruddy-tastic!!! You have changed a lot!!! Well done!!

    And youh ave a Boxer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had 4 boxers once!! WONDERFUL dogs they are!!!

    x
     
  12. bigboy77

    bigboy77 Full Member

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    Thanks BL! The dog is a staffy, they do look similar to Boxers, his name is Arnie.
     
  13. Snorks

    Snorks Full Member

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    Thanks BB, and yes your memory does serve you well. I still haven't seen my before pics or end of foundation pics - but then they've not been offered to me and I haven't asked.

    My LLC did get them out the other night when I mentioned feeling very deflated but I just didn't want to look at them. Maybe when I feel a bit stronger about it all I might take a look.

    thanks for the support and yes, I'm very impressed by your pictures!
     
  14. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    <<<hugs>>>> Oh Snorks. I can't wait to see that confidence start growing in you.

    I do hope you are feeling proud of yourself at least. I fully understnad your feelings, don't get me wrong. I found some photos when i finished LL that I had stuffed in the bottom of a drawer the day I got them three years ago - after catching just a mere glimpse of myself...I couldn't bear to see me on paper.

    But finding them, while it was an excrutiatingly painful moment, even though by then I was slim - it rushed back lots of memories - but I look at them now, adn realise - I have overcome.

    And you will too, and I can't wait to see the tables start to turn for you. You deserve it. You are a star - and can believe in yourself an pat yourself heartily on the back for what you are doing.

    THis is not for the weak ya know....it takes a person of great strength and charater to do this diet, particularly for those of us who undertake over 100 pounds - that is really something. SOmething to be PROUD of. (Not to say less then that is any easier - or anything like that - but 100+ pounds is no easy thing to face. :)

    You will know when you are ready, and then you will be open to all sorts of wonderful things.

    Wishing you well, and just wanting to offer support.

    XXX
     
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