EatPrayLove
Full Member
I've read through other diaries and have been so inspired by people's honesty, both about successes and failures, that I feel I can openly write about my own experiences, but I've been staring at the white blankness of the forum's post box for a short while, not really sure how to start. So I think I'll just write what comes to mind.
I ordered my packs yesterday and they will be delivered today between 13.06 and 14.06 (I love the precision). I found Exante by accident. I was doing research on Cambridge which, I've been on twice with little success, and up popped an ad. While it's not as cheap as I had hoped (averages out to about the same as CD for me), I do not have to limit my self to a weekly weigh-in with a consultant who quite frankly was useless. And I can order more or less of what I need when I need it. More control, no aspartame (I hate fake sugars) and more calories! Yippee! I figured I would try something new for a week, see how I get on. I also like the ideas of the bars from day one. On CD, you usually have to wait until the start of your third week before you can chow down on anything (only on Sole Source), and by that point my need to chew has gone beyond anything sane and reasonable.
I am not saying CD doesn't work...it just wasn't working for me.
In preparation for Exante TS, I have tried to limit my carbs and started drinking more water; both things are very difficult for me, but hey it's all relative. I'm also trying to limit my coffee intake because I drink it too much. I can easily down 4-5 cups a day, in fact I can have coffee before bed and still go to sleep which, defeats the point of coffee.
I'm taking a leaf out of others e-books and setting myself some mini goals. I also know the first week is definilty going to be the hardest. You'll probably see me on the forum a lot trying to battle with devil and angel mini-me's on my shoulders each dishing out pieces of advice.
So why am I here? Other than the obvious: to lose weight.
In truth, I really enjoy health and fitness and want to become a personal trainer. However, what started a few years ago as a real passion, slowly turned into a war against my own body. The gym stopped being fun, and staying healthy became a job, with long hours, no pay and no benefits. All I could think about was food. Pizza was a party of cheese and pepperoni; Chinese a special fried rice carnival, with spicy schezuan dishes and prawn toast not tot mention the hedonistic revelry of sweets! Ice cream, cakes, apple pies with cream! Who wanted dry chicken breast with broccoli? I couldn't look at another tub of cottage cheese and the smell of ryvita just made me picture cardboard.
Personally, I have been on some kind of a diet every week for the last decade or so and I'm feeling every counted calorie, every suppressed emotion when I pick up a cake or a cheese sandwich or a coke (I'm in need of a triple 'C' bypass) and in the words of the late comedian Bernie Mac "my body weary".
I've been slim, toned, chubby, fat, skinny, muscular. But if I have ever been happy with any or all of it, I think I would have to answer "nope not at all". I've been looking for perfection and no wonder I've never found it. It doesn't exist because my ideals of perfection are mercurial: they change every time I read a glossy magazine or pick up a training regime. It changed so often, my consciousness isn't even aware the parameters have changed. I'm asking my mind to keep up with a lot of change, but my body will not have it anymore. It's been in stasis for around six months now and I'm currently at my heaviest weight of 11 stone 3 lbs as I write this.
At only 5 feet 3 inches tall, my BMI warns me I am overweight. But, I don't need a calculator to tell me that: I have back ache, get out of breath walking up stairs, my knees hurt sometimes and my body looks out-of-place. I couldn't even place myself in a typical female body type right now. I used to be a pear but my ample bosom makes me hourglass-ish, then again if my round tummy has anything to add its saying 'you're an apple'. Maybe I need a Trinny and Susanna moment but even their theories on body shape confuses me.
So here I am. One month away from a holiday in Spain and two months away from my wedding. Oh yeah I'm getting married this July. And I've already decided wedding dress shopping is simultanouely great and uncomfrtable. Unfortunately, the experience has been marred by my obsession with my flabby middle. It was fun at times, but in the end the euphoria wore off and I was left feeling pretty low. At one point, I purposefully didn't look at any bridal magazines for a few weeks because the dresses I liked were only ever on thin models who had been air-brushed to perfection. Not what any slimming bride needs to see.
I know I have to make the changes and I'm willing to go through a little discomfort to get there. I'm as ready as I'll ever be so tomorrow will be my official Day 1 (as well as my first ever weekend weigh in! Might help me stay motivated during the week).
I'll attempt to post every day, with the honest-john's truth of what is happening with my physical and the mental. And I promise they won't be as long as this one.
Until tomorrow...:wavey:
x
I ordered my packs yesterday and they will be delivered today between 13.06 and 14.06 (I love the precision). I found Exante by accident. I was doing research on Cambridge which, I've been on twice with little success, and up popped an ad. While it's not as cheap as I had hoped (averages out to about the same as CD for me), I do not have to limit my self to a weekly weigh-in with a consultant who quite frankly was useless. And I can order more or less of what I need when I need it. More control, no aspartame (I hate fake sugars) and more calories! Yippee! I figured I would try something new for a week, see how I get on. I also like the ideas of the bars from day one. On CD, you usually have to wait until the start of your third week before you can chow down on anything (only on Sole Source), and by that point my need to chew has gone beyond anything sane and reasonable.
I am not saying CD doesn't work...it just wasn't working for me.
In preparation for Exante TS, I have tried to limit my carbs and started drinking more water; both things are very difficult for me, but hey it's all relative. I'm also trying to limit my coffee intake because I drink it too much. I can easily down 4-5 cups a day, in fact I can have coffee before bed and still go to sleep which, defeats the point of coffee.
I'm taking a leaf out of others e-books and setting myself some mini goals. I also know the first week is definilty going to be the hardest. You'll probably see me on the forum a lot trying to battle with devil and angel mini-me's on my shoulders each dishing out pieces of advice.
So why am I here? Other than the obvious: to lose weight.
In truth, I really enjoy health and fitness and want to become a personal trainer. However, what started a few years ago as a real passion, slowly turned into a war against my own body. The gym stopped being fun, and staying healthy became a job, with long hours, no pay and no benefits. All I could think about was food. Pizza was a party of cheese and pepperoni; Chinese a special fried rice carnival, with spicy schezuan dishes and prawn toast not tot mention the hedonistic revelry of sweets! Ice cream, cakes, apple pies with cream! Who wanted dry chicken breast with broccoli? I couldn't look at another tub of cottage cheese and the smell of ryvita just made me picture cardboard.
Personally, I have been on some kind of a diet every week for the last decade or so and I'm feeling every counted calorie, every suppressed emotion when I pick up a cake or a cheese sandwich or a coke (I'm in need of a triple 'C' bypass) and in the words of the late comedian Bernie Mac "my body weary".
I've been slim, toned, chubby, fat, skinny, muscular. But if I have ever been happy with any or all of it, I think I would have to answer "nope not at all". I've been looking for perfection and no wonder I've never found it. It doesn't exist because my ideals of perfection are mercurial: they change every time I read a glossy magazine or pick up a training regime. It changed so often, my consciousness isn't even aware the parameters have changed. I'm asking my mind to keep up with a lot of change, but my body will not have it anymore. It's been in stasis for around six months now and I'm currently at my heaviest weight of 11 stone 3 lbs as I write this.
At only 5 feet 3 inches tall, my BMI warns me I am overweight. But, I don't need a calculator to tell me that: I have back ache, get out of breath walking up stairs, my knees hurt sometimes and my body looks out-of-place. I couldn't even place myself in a typical female body type right now. I used to be a pear but my ample bosom makes me hourglass-ish, then again if my round tummy has anything to add its saying 'you're an apple'. Maybe I need a Trinny and Susanna moment but even their theories on body shape confuses me.
So here I am. One month away from a holiday in Spain and two months away from my wedding. Oh yeah I'm getting married this July. And I've already decided wedding dress shopping is simultanouely great and uncomfrtable. Unfortunately, the experience has been marred by my obsession with my flabby middle. It was fun at times, but in the end the euphoria wore off and I was left feeling pretty low. At one point, I purposefully didn't look at any bridal magazines for a few weeks because the dresses I liked were only ever on thin models who had been air-brushed to perfection. Not what any slimming bride needs to see.
I know I have to make the changes and I'm willing to go through a little discomfort to get there. I'm as ready as I'll ever be so tomorrow will be my official Day 1 (as well as my first ever weekend weigh in! Might help me stay motivated during the week).
I'll attempt to post every day, with the honest-john's truth of what is happening with my physical and the mental. And I promise they won't be as long as this one.
Until tomorrow...:wavey:
x
to colleagues (just my OH, but he understands LOL:love:
