Emotional Eaters... Any Advice?

[Katycakes]

Kira & Smileycat, loving what you have to say.
Kira, you are right - we have to balance out the negative but important-to-face stuff with good stuff, and be thankful and positive for what we have. I try to do this most of the time, but it's good to be reminded! I too have a great husband, two fab teenagers and some lovely friends, also a great career and enough money for my needs. I am grateful for that. You know what, this site is great for making us reach out to others and see their viewpoint and offer support - it's SOOOO positive in so many ways. Anyway, loving the thoughts!
Smileycat, you & I have a lot in common! I too lost control once food was back in the equation, and it was a shock as I genuinely thought I had a grip of it all. Not that easy!!! And yes, food has been my security blanket for too long, and then you see that you're actually wrapping yourself in something old and dirty and ugly if that makes any sense... what I mean is, it wasn't giving me any security at all, just undermining my confidence and making me feel bad about myself. And obviously it's not 'food' as such but the foods I chose to abuse... so many people say there's no harm in 'just one square' of chocolate but I have never been able to eat just one square, so maybe I am better off without it. I don't even want the CD choccy shakes, would rather not have that taste, it feels too dangerous.
And yes, CD is my new safety blanket and a healthier one I think. I am EXACTLY like you & didn't tell anyone except husband & kids that I was doing CD up until Xmas week, when I finally told 2 friends... I was so ashamed. And nobody, not even my husband, knows the truth about the way i binge, except for you guys, and trust me, telling someone, even in 'safety' on a forum like this, feels like a huge step forward.
Smileycat, good luck this weekend with getting back into CD. like you, I am so glad to be stepping away from food again, the sense of safety was almost instant. But we will all work out how to beat this thing, and together we can stay strong.

 

[tara66]

Hi All, a great thread, some heavy stuff but needs to be aired. Just really wanted to say thanks for sharing such personal stuff everybody, its so horribly familiar it is a bit scary.

I'm on LT and have just reached my target which is brill, but it is the same as ss so I am really struggling with the head stuff now I have had to start eating again. I'm terrified of spiralling out of control and putting all the weight back on.

Don't mean this to be a negative contribution but wanted to thank you all as ur insights really help. Also would agree that the ss part is an opportunity to deal with the head stuff and I guess if we don't we won't reach our goals and maintain them.

Good luck to you all and a great new year x

 

[welshwench]

i feel that this year is gonna be OUR year!!
With each others help and support i truly believe we're gonna do it.
Thankyou so much everyone for being each others rock xxx

 

[Serena A]

I think issues with emotional eating are all the tougher because compared with other addictions it gets very little sympathy - people who aren't in the know just assume you're greedy or lazy. Of course we all know that that's not usually the case. Overeating is often tied up with other issues such as poor self esteem - if you can beat yourself up for being a "fat greedy pig" then it takes the spotlight away from what's really niggling away at you.

A year ago I didn't get a job I had an interview for - "Fat Me" thinks the interviewer might have been worried I'd have weight related medical problems. "Thin Me" knows deep down that I'd been stubborn about updating my CV and hadn't done enough preparation to get myself up-to-date with modern interviewing techniques. But "Fat Me's" excuse takes the blame away from me with the added "bonus" of having a binge to get over the disappointment...

Once the excess weight goes we lose the buffer that shields us from having to face up to our true reality - and it's damn scary. But this time I am choosing not to be scared but excited...I know that CD is taking care of my body's physical needs but my weight loss battle is actually taking place where it all started...in my mind. And this time I am going to win. As are we all.

 

[Kira]

I...I know that CD is taking care of my body's physical needs but my weight loss battle is actually taking place where it all started...in my mind. And this time I am going to win. As are we all.

I loved your post, especially the above. When I lost the initial weight on CD I felt I could not let CD out of my life at all. The shakes etc were my comfort blanket. As long as I had them they would help me. However, the battle is within my mind and I am beginning to recognize that more and more. I am scared I will lose the confident image I portray if people find out my inability to control what I eat and when I eat. Funnily enough I thought I had never lost my confidence even at my heaviest but I think it was a facade and is a facade. Then again my job requires at times the Oscar winning performance of facade otherwise I'd have no clients! Hope everyone's day is going to plan and those SSing have been drinking their water!

 

[Diddums]

Serena, thats exactly what goes through my mind, along with... oh i didnt suceed because i am fat I'm having two low carb days before i start SS on 5th Jan, and already my mind is battling with me (oo just a couple smarties wont hurt you...well yes they will because 2 smarties turns into the whole tub usually, and so my i'm winning, i gave the smarties to my bf and the craving is subsiding. I agree with what has been said, having no food on SS will give me the chance to re establish my relationship with food and determine what makes me reach for the food and why i overeat. I noticed that it only takes a 'normal' amount of food until i feel full but for some strange reason i keep eating until i feel sick and feel like i'm going to explode. I'm hopeing that this period without food will allow me to address this issue and address this!

My mum is starting SS on 6th Jan so we are also supporting eachother. I am spending my first weekend with her so that we can distract otherselves and not cheat!

 

[Lostris]

Hi all,

Great thread, can't really give advice but I definately belong here and would like to share my experience with you all if thats alright..

I've always loved food but I'd kept it under control and was at a healthy weight till I was about 17,5yrs of age. Then some things happened in my life which made me turn to food for comfort (very abusive relationship lasting 1,5yrs), when I'd somehow turned this switch in my head food was what it was all about.

I'd hide my emotions inside me because I was afraid of how I felt, despised myself, didn't feel worthy of anything good and thought I had it coming etc etc. Wrecked my self esteem and turned into a vicious circle going down more and more... eating more and more.

I was never able to stop comfort eating until I turned the switch to do CD. I don't think I've comfort-ate yet and I've been doing this diet for 5 months now.

I feel confused sometimes because I know how my mind works and when I have an SS+ day or something with food I always think ''Maybe I'm trying to comfort myself with food?''

I've been going through intensive trauma-therapy, 1x a week, to deal with the issues that made me turn to food for comfort and while I'd usually run to food after therapy (have done that before), I have not done this yet. I have a feeling I will come out of this stronger and more determined because I'm doing therapy at the same time as CD.

I started therapy about 1,5 month after I started CD. I wanted to do it both at the same time because I know my sneaky 'lil self and wanted to be able to tell myself I can't turn to food because it would make me feel unwell etc. Now I just don't eat after therapy because I'm (honestly) not interested in food after. This, for me, is a huge achievement.

Not sure if this helps or anything but wanted to post this because I feel it may be looking up for me at this point.

I am not telling you all to run to a therapist or anything, but if you have issues that drove you to comfort eating / emotional eating it may be a tip to address those issues while doing the diet? It's hard but I think it can pay off!

Thanks for reading,

xxx

 

[Porgeous]

I know that CD is taking care of my body's physical needs but my weight loss battle is actually taking place where it all started...in my mind.

Perfectly put, I've been having a similar conversation with someone today regarding the exact same thing - what differentiates this time from all previous attempts - the fact this time I approached it with my mind.

xx

 

[Diddums]

Lostris, how did you find your therapist, i think i may think about this if i cant sort this out on my own.

 

[Isis]

This is such a comforting, sensible and inspiring thread folks.

Thank you!! xx

 

[KD]

I know that CD is taking care of my body's physical needs but my weight loss battle is actually taking place where it all started...in my mind. And this time I am going to win. As are we all.

Yep, that's it. Wish it hadn't taken me so many years to work this one out.

You keep coming out with gems. Where do you learn this stuff?

 

[Katycakes]

Tara, Serena & Kira you are dead right... and Karen, 2009 WILL be our year. If we can stick together we can do it, I feel so much stronger than I did yesterday & it's all because I know I'm no longer alone. Diddums, roll on Monday... you and your mum can do this! Porgeous, thanks for being such an inspiration, your pics have kept me strong and kept me hoping I could achieve the same since the first time I logged onto this site in early December. And Lostris, thank you for being so honest and open. It really, really helps to read something so positive, you are overcoming big problems there and I KNOW you will succeed as your attitude is so strong and so sure. Thanks for sharing with us. I think the therapy and the CD together are what have helped you to be so successful, as Serena said, the battle takes place in our minds... our stories may be different, but we have a lot in common and we can work together and support each other to win this battle.

 

[Lostris]

Lostris, how did you find your therapist, i think i may think about this if i cant sort this out on my own.

Hi Diddums,

I'm not from the UK and probably do have to add I'm not in therapy for food-related troubles I've been having, but for the way this ex has taken a big part of me away from me and this still affects me greatly in everyday life..

I'm currently in therapy at an EMDR specialised psychologist. Depending on whatever underlying issues people have, EMDR (can't explain it too well so pls google if interested ) might be a good way to help ''fix'' it.

It's sort of a reprocessing method, you basically 'file' memories again in a different way. A way that doesn't disturb you and doesn't make emotions about it come up at any given time. It really is a way to help people with PTSD and such so not sure if they also do it on people with other issues (they might but don't want to give false hope or anything if they don't.)

Basic psychologist-therapy can also help a lot but I think that if you feel you need therapy to overcome your emotional eating it might be worth checking out what psychologists there are in the neighbourhood.. there may even be psychologists specialised in food-related things which may be very good to deal with 'mainly' food-related problems if that's the case? Obviously I don't know 'the case' but just wanted to give you some different angles to look at it!

Best of luck, hope this clears it up a bit / helps,

xxx

And Lostris, thank you for being so honest and open. It really, really helps to read something so positive, you are overcoming big problems there and I KNOW you will succeed as your attitude is so strong and so sure. Thanks for sharing with us. I think the therapy and the CD together are what have helped you to be so successful, as Serena said, the battle takes place in our minds... our stories may be different, but we have a lot in common and we can work together and support each other to win this battle.

Hi!

Thanks so much for the praise. I am quite positive about getting past the emotional eating and I'm glad the positivity came across! I am also very happy I chose to do things the way I did, though it's been a tough period I really see results in myself and in my way of thinking etc.

What Serena said was indeed very true. It's in our minds and we need to be very very strong through the diet and after because our mind will keep telling us 'oh you feel bad, you need food.. you want it, you know you do.. it'll make you feel better' etc. We have to be strong and resist it, fight it etc. and we will be victorious in the end ;-)

xxx

Yep, that's it. Wish it hadn't taken me so many years to work this one out.

You keep coming out with gems. Where do you learn this stuff?

I think she's going to some secret major-amazing-smart-we-know-everything-people meetings but haven't yet been able to find out if that's how she does it... hmm.. the mystery. I will now attempt step 1 to uncover this mystery... become buddy's with the suspicious individual (Serena A) to unveil all the secrets.....

 

[Diddums]

Thanks so much Lostris, i know you'll come out the other end brimming with success!

 

[Serena A]

Yep, that's it. Wish it hadn't taken me so many years to work this one out.

You keep coming out with gems. Where do you learn this stuff?

Actually I nick all my ideas off that helpful penguin bird from the pink site...

 

[KD]

Actually I nick all my ideas off that helpful penguin bird from the pink site...

:8855::8855::8855:

 

[Katycakes]

Hmmm, maybe seeing pink penguins is a side-effect of ketosis? )

Diddums, a posting on a different thread suggested CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy?) as a great way of finding different ways to re-frame the past, and I think this is the style of counselling Lighterlife, for example, use. Again, on another thread I noticed someone talking about NLP (neuro linguistic programming?) and I think CDC/weight loss counsellor Icemoose does this. His newsletter talks about it, anyway, & again I think it's about finding different ways to see/deal with the problems in our pasts. I know a couple of NLP counsellors fairly local to here and might try to work up the courage to talk to them, I know that weight-loss therapy is something they do offer. Just very scary taking that step!

Anyway, feeling more energetic this evening after an ikky day, looks like ketosis here I come... and hello pink penguins! Thanks to all who've posted on this thread today... thanks for being there, I guess.

 

[Serena A]

Hiya Katy - sorry went off on a tangent there...KD's avatar on the offcial Cambridge forum is a penguin, and if you have a look at that forum you'll see why it's the "pink" site! Minimins tends to be much busier for people posting so I tend to stick with here, I just go over there when I have exhausted looking at every thread on here!

Glad you have perked up today, well done you're doing great

 

[Diddums]

THanks katycakes, i ahve now discovered i start tomorrow and can not wait!!

 

[Kira]

A fabulous thread that is really helping me. Suddenly my craving this evening has disappeared reading the recent posts! The fish finger sandwich with ketchup my son is having is no longer appealing! The empty feeling has subsided?! I have to make this work each time a waver and I will try and think of what everyone has shared on this post. So here's to almost completing my day 2 re-start and looking to a successful and inspiring day tomorrow everyone.