Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Kira & Smileycat, loving what you have to say.
Kira, you are right - we have to balance out the negative but important-to-face stuff with good stuff, and be thankful and positive for what we have. I try to do this most of the time, but it's good to be reminded! I too have a great husband, two fab teenagers and some lovely friends, also a great career and enough money for my needs. I am grateful for that. You know what, this site is great for making us reach out to others and see their viewpoint and offer support - it's SOOOO positive in so many ways. Anyway, loving the thoughts!
Smileycat, you & I have a lot in common! I too lost control once food was back in the equation, and it was a shock as I genuinely thought I had a grip of it all. Not that easy!!! And yes, food has been my security blanket for too long, and then you see that you're actually wrapping yourself in something old and dirty and ugly if that makes any sense... what I mean is, it wasn't giving me any security at all, just undermining my confidence and making me feel bad about myself. And obviously it's not 'food' as such but the foods I chose to abuse... so many people say there's no harm in 'just one square' of chocolate but I have never been able to eat just one square, so maybe I am better off without it. I don't even want the CD choccy shakes, would rather not have that taste, it feels too dangerous.
And yes, CD is my new safety blanket and a healthier one I think. I am EXACTLY like you & didn't tell anyone except husband & kids that I was doing CD up until Xmas week, when I finally told 2 friends... I was so ashamed. And nobody, not even my husband, knows the truth about the way i binge, except for you guys, and trust me, telling someone, even in 'safety' on a forum like this, feels like a huge step forward.
Smileycat, good luck this weekend with getting back into CD. like you, I am so glad to be stepping away from food again, the sense of safety was almost instant. But we will all work out how to beat this thing, and together we can stay strong.
Kira, you are right - we have to balance out the negative but important-to-face stuff with good stuff, and be thankful and positive for what we have. I try to do this most of the time, but it's good to be reminded! I too have a great husband, two fab teenagers and some lovely friends, also a great career and enough money for my needs. I am grateful for that. You know what, this site is great for making us reach out to others and see their viewpoint and offer support - it's SOOOO positive in so many ways. Anyway, loving the thoughts!
Smileycat, you & I have a lot in common! I too lost control once food was back in the equation, and it was a shock as I genuinely thought I had a grip of it all. Not that easy!!! And yes, food has been my security blanket for too long, and then you see that you're actually wrapping yourself in something old and dirty and ugly if that makes any sense... what I mean is, it wasn't giving me any security at all, just undermining my confidence and making me feel bad about myself. And obviously it's not 'food' as such but the foods I chose to abuse... so many people say there's no harm in 'just one square' of chocolate but I have never been able to eat just one square, so maybe I am better off without it. I don't even want the CD choccy shakes, would rather not have that taste, it feels too dangerous.
And yes, CD is my new safety blanket and a healthier one I think. I am EXACTLY like you & didn't tell anyone except husband & kids that I was doing CD up until Xmas week, when I finally told 2 friends... I was so ashamed. And nobody, not even my husband, knows the truth about the way i binge, except for you guys, and trust me, telling someone, even in 'safety' on a forum like this, feels like a huge step forward.
Smileycat, good luck this weekend with getting back into CD. like you, I am so glad to be stepping away from food again, the sense of safety was almost instant. But we will all work out how to beat this thing, and together we can stay strong.