Eurgh! :( - UPDATE

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Littleslimmingbee, 31 August 2009 Social URL.

  1. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Tonight has been difficult..

    Me and OH decided to stay with his parents last night, a half hour - 40 min motorway drive from our house, as we decided we'd ahve a day together at wookey hole, even though i don't like caves! LOL


    anywho..
    I have a brother of 15, hes been a mess this past year, he sleeps all day long and rarly goes to school, then is up all through the night, somtimes just at home on the computer and eating, or hes out, doing god knows what and has the worst communication skills possible, .. he's on sleeping tablets and anti depressants, but he's taught himself how to play guitar, and he is amazing at it. if only he could show the same dedication else where. he's been caught by the police a few times wandering around at rediculous times in the morning when we think he's staying with a friend, and it appears his friends are no better, mainly girls.. who seem to spend every night running away from thier parents.. meaning we get calls from the police asking if we'v seen her.. and a few hours later they bring him home after finding them both together..
    anyways. he's been staying round a friends house alot recently, but it appears thsi girls mother doesnt mind all her friends crashing round her's and although we don't like it, paul can get very aggressive and scary when we say he can't go out or see his friends.. despite only being 15 he has the body of a full grown man.


    So me and other half are asleep, and my phone rings at 5am. paul has taken the whole packet of his antidepressants and sleeping pills, (after not bothering to take them reguarly for weeks) and is in hospital in quite a dangerous state, meaning mum has to go to the hosp and i ahve to come home to look after kids.

    Of course i got up straight away and me & OH came home.. but although Paul's supposedly out of the danger zone now and sleeping it off in the hosp

    i'm just like :eek:


    :( erugh. Its so hard to be mad and concerned at the same time, i wish he'd just sort himself out, not even only for himself, but for everyone else too. I really don't know what possessed him to take all his tablets, especially whilst sleeping round someones house!? wtf. I dunno whats going on..


    Iv got an 8 yr old boy, a 12 and 13 girl at home, who were expecting to go to longleat zoo today. What on earth am i going to tell them let alone do with them?


    thinking i'l take them somewhere else, or maybe encorouge a pj day and take them to blockbuster to pick out some films.. (is that possible without arguements!? LOL



    ah, i dont really know what the point of the post is, think i just needed to come on and share with you all to clear my head a bit before i start the day with them all...


    Thanks for listening guys! xxx
     
    Last edited: 31 August 2009
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  3. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    its good to rant on here, sorry to here about your brother - sounds like he does need professional help to find the core issues. but, at least now when in hospital he could seek more advanced help - be patient as it must be very frustrating being him with whatever is going on his mind. thingers crossed within time he will find peace inside of himself. take care and hugs :)
     
  4. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Hun...Im sorry to hear about your brother, he is crying out for help and now he will get that.
    As Ilovelife said, as long as he knows you are there for him, (regardless of the fact that you do not agree with what he is doing to himself at the moment), thats all he can ask for.
    I hope things have improved today Hun, you are in my thoughts.

    xxxxx
     
  5. Busy_mam

    Busy_mam Full Member

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    Hug, I would be honest with the younger ones, say something along the iles of he is ill and uses medicines and sometimes when ill people don't think straigth they mess up the medicines and end up in hospital.

    I think that the hospital will probably not discharge him and may get him into a support group, they can hold him and section him as he is obviously a risk to himself, as horrid as this sounds it may give him a chance to have his meds and dosage sorted.

    look after youself
     
  6. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

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    Oh Fern, love you sound at the end of your tether - and writing all your feelings down in your post has helped you to deal with it which is so much better for you.

    Fern as your brother took an overdose (whether intentional or not), he will have to see the 'Self Harm Officer' before he is released from hospital, now if this is his first time it could help him because he may be referred for further treatment as an Out Patient and this is good, as it may help to 'turn him around' - being a teenager is tough at the best of times with all the raging hormones etc to contend with, but it is so much worse in this day and age. (if you need to talk further, please feel free to PM me).

    As for your your own family - I think a PJ day is a wonderful idea, and I am sure the children will enjoy it, when my two were young they would have loved to have spent all day in PJ's and watching films, so it sounds just what you all need today - have a wonderful family day, and try to put Paul at the back of your mind (he is in the best place for him at the moment).

    Love to you. X
     
  7. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Thanks everyone .. ooft ranting did help.

    Pauls been 'self harming' as such previously, superficial sort of scratchs on his arms and legs, but still a concern none the less.. My family ahve ahd many problems in the past, but most paul was too young for m to think this could be the cause, but i expect he has alot going on himself, and as you'v said, teenage years are difficult. I do hope the hosiptal give me him the help he relaly needs, we have tried to get him help before but he refused..

    Mum's phoned and said he's been moved to a different ward as hes now out of the 'danger zone', but his heart is still being monitered as his overdose of tablets affected his heart..

    Iv decided to take the kids to a zoo, thought it was cricket st.thomas but have now bin pyt right by Oh and teh zoo im on about is noah ark - first blunder of the day! lol. So we shall go soon and have a pic nic etc. Fingers x'd the weather holds out!

    Anyways.. Keep him in your thoughts please. *hugs* I really appriciate all your advise, and will update you later.. keep you fingers x'd for my family day out on my own! OMG LOL what am i doing! haha


    xxxxx
     
  8. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    kids as young as two months can be affected by trauma - but its a positive he is getting help and sorting out his conflicts.
     
  9. Ossireo

    Ossireo Full Member

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    *big hugs* hope the day goes well sweetie and that your brother improves in hospital xx
     
  10. BikerAngel

    BikerAngel Silver Member

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    I really hope you get things sorted out and he gets the help he needs but he has to be the one wanting the help or else there is nothing you can do. Just be there for him and try to support where you can but it is difficult when it drags you down too. I speak from experience, not same situation but know how it is. Sadly the person with us didn't think he had problems or maybe he did and just never admitted and sad to say he is no longer with us so we will never know. Thoughts are with you and family and really hope it gets better for you all ((hugs))
     
  11. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Hey all, thanks for all your kind words.
    Its been a long day, Took the kids to Nah's Ark, think they struggled to be impressed after the let down over longleat (and then my blunder with cricket st. thomas, oops!

    BUT, they did have a fab time, we had a tractor ride, we got thier in time for the tiger talk which my lil sister was ecstatic about, and my lil bro even got to feed a lamb with a bottle.. although i paid £40 odd to get in, .. and tbh.. i proberly could have got away with not paying at all, they just give you a recipt and you never have to show it through the whole day.. pointless! LOL. know for next time ;) haha.

    anyways.. My brother. Apparently the tablets he took have caused damage to his heart :( .. im nots sure how much, but he is been moved to another ward as he is out of the danger zone and is stable, but apparently had a blip earlier, somthing to do with his heart, but is stable again now. Doubt he will be home tonight, he has a physciatric evaltuation at 9am tomorrow.. Don't really know what i'l do with the kids tom, but maybe i'l go to plan 2#, pj day.

    Got home about 5 and have just fed kids, myself and OH, and have got the kids some jammy donuts for being such good sports today.
    weather held up also which was great, and the kids absoloutly loved holding the chickens! bless em.


    Thanks again everyone. Fingers crossed he is okay and isn't in any danger health wise now. I'm sill really not sure of whats happened or the situation now so.

    will update you when i can.


    xxxx
     
  12. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Update

    Mums just come home.

    Paul was found after over dosing in a quarry at 4am.

    he's damaged his heart and is now going to have fits, .. maybe permantly.



    Apparently the police report says he planned the overdose 6 months ago, .. and wanted to do it last week, but his friend talked him out of it, but apparently he just flipped and stormed off and then they found him an hour later.


    he wont be released untill wednesday atleast and has his physciatric evaluation tomorrow.. and wil have to see other 'risk assess' sort of people.


    :cry:

    The police say apul felt he was living his life for other people.. that he didnt want to live any longer and couldnt carry on just because of the rest of us.
     
  13. Wicca303

    Wicca303 Full Member

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    HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGS for you and your family.

    Mental illness is an awful thing to live with and there's still such a big taboo about it. Just focus on the fact that at least now he'll get the help he needs. Every situation is different but I've been in a similar place to your brother. For me it was the thought of what it would do to my family that stopped me. To your brother it was just more pressure, more people he was disappointing.

    I hope things work out and that he realises how lucky he is to have a family that cares so much about him.

    HUGS.

    Toni. xx
     
  14. Emz118

    Emz118 Desperate to be slim!

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    Oh hun... that's a horrible thing to happen. I really don't know what to say to help at all.

    I guess the only slight silver lining is that he will now get some psychiatric help.

    Hugs to you through the interweb!
     
  15. Joanne24

    Joanne24 Restarting!

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    *hugs* hunny your in my thoughts.

    PM me if you want to chat. xxxx
     
  16. HellieCopter

    HellieCopter Gold Member

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    Oh FERN!!! *hugs*

    I can relate to what you're going through. My younger sister had a lot of mental problems when she was in her teens. She self-harmed (usually burning herself with cigarettes) and was bulimic too. She suffered from depression, anxiety and had a lot of behavioural problems. None of it was ever diagnosed or addressed properly, despite my parents trying to help all the time. Turns out she had underlying problems as well...but it was such a hard time for my family, and also led to me not really feeling like I ever had a sister...which is really sad.

    Anyway...this is about you not me! I just wanted to say that, although my sister still has issues and is on anti-depressants...she has 2 children, manages on a day-to-day basis and although things aren't easy, she's in a much better place. Ok, she's now 30, but I wanted to try to give you hope that people can come out of things like this, to some extent...if not fully.

    I'm so sorry to hear about his health issues because of the overdose...but I really, really hope that things turn around for him and your family.

    *hugs*
     
  17. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

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    Oh Fern it's such a worry for you all - let's hope that this time he has 'frightened' himself into not trying to attempt to do something like it again, and I pray the physcriatric evaluation will be of benefit to Paul and the rest of the family.

    My thought's are with you all today, ))))hugs (((( coming your way....XX
     
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  19. charlottegrace1

    charlottegrace1 Gold Member

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    have sent you a pm hun xx
     
  20. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Thank you for all your kind worsds. They really do help and make me feel a bit more clear headed.



    he still in hosp now, and had his evaluation this morning. Did the massive food shop this week as mum hasnt had time to do it. Managed it on my own but must ahve been walking round in a daze as i have things i don't even remember picking up, but i will make use of them. lol.



    CAMS say that if he is no longer a risk he could come home today, maybe later. But i think he might end up staying in. he proberly should for his own good. Hes very good at ahving 'good days' or coming across fine or 'better' when he needs to. Up untill now we all thought he was making progress.


    Its all a bit of a mad house today. Gotta take my 8 year old bro to see his therapist at 2, and have to keep an eye on my older sister who's about to drop any day now. So shallhave to take her with me otherwise if she goes into labour there will be no one to help. argh LOL. I'd appriciate if she could hold the baby in a little longer, i dont think i could cope with that.


    feeling okay.. i think. I dunno im a bit all over the place.. Id like to drown my sorrows in a binge fo sweet and savoury goodies, and then maybe crawl into my bed for some pj comfyness in front of the telly. pretty sure that would fix all my problems. I'l stay strong though. Got too many things to do to find time to actually do it lol.



    thanks again everyone. Your all stars. *hugs*
    I think il be okay. x
     
  21. victorial85

    victorial85 A moaning old boot!!!!

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    Aww Fern hun, you are fairly being put through it at the moment. Im gla to hear that your brother is ok just now and I will keep everything crossed that he will get the help he needs for his health and well-being to improve.

    There are a lot of helplines for you and your family to phone to discuss everything with just to get everything out, and not bottle it all in. Its something to look into to relieve a little bit of the pressure you are probably all feeling in your head.

    Your family are all very lucky to have you, with all the things you are doing to keep a bit of normality going. Just remember to keep taking care of yourself, you need to think about YOU too, not just everyone else.

    Keep your chin up and keep coming on here whenever you need to talk, or look up one of the support lines for some trained ears to listen!!!!! Thinking of you and your family x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
     
  22. skinnyminnycow

    skinnyminnycow Full Member

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    Thinking of you chick, what an awful situation. :( x
     
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