Excuses

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by GymClassHero, 8 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. GymClassHero

    GymClassHero Silver Member

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    Now im not one to judge people but last night i became very annoyed with someone in class :eek:

    Every week she doesnt loose weight, she either puts on or STS and every single week she says 'Im ill'

    It really annoyed me because ive been in hospital and am recovering from major surgery and i have lost 6lbs in 2 weeks. I went to class they day i was discharged from hospital because i am comitted to myself and my weight loss.

    Now, she may genuinley be ill, but she couldn't be that ill if she attended a birthday party, a wedding and a sunday lunch out last week :rolleyes:

    I find quite a few people who consistently STS or put on always say 'I've been ill'. To me this just sounds like an excuse because they are embarrased to admit they havent been on plan.

    Thing is, the only person they are deceiving is themselves, no-one is forcing them to go to SW at the end of the day and if they are not going to do it properly more fool them! Its pounds out of their pockets that they are losing instead of weight!

    Rant over :p
     
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  3. JestersTear

    JestersTear Cute, but psycho!

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    I think it depends on your definition of 'ill'. If you have something like pcos or an under active thyroid then it does make it more difficult (but not impossible) to lose weight.
    I haven't been losing weight for the last three weeks, and I'm not 100% sure why not...although this week I've done a food diary, so here's hoping!
     
  4. henna!

    henna! I can do this............

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    I have to agree with you there!

    I know everyone is diffrent and everyone loses at diffrent rates but i just couldn't face going each week if i knew i had been cheating week in week out. We have a lady in our group and she has lost 5lbs since january and she said to me the other day how do you do it? I said because i am 100% on plan and i am determined to lose weight for me!!
     
  5. miss jelly tot

    miss jelly tot CWP Consultant

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    Totally agree! If she says in a few weeks 'Ive lost nothing boo hoo' You can say 'well you have been ill :rolleyes:.'
    The only people we can do it for is ourselves and if we aren't committed there is only one person to blame.

    Fantastic weight loss by the way, well done:D
     
  6. GymClassHero

    GymClassHero Silver Member

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    Thing is, she never actually says ''I've been on plan 100% this week, ive stayed within my syns etc'' its always just ''Im ill'' or ''I've been feeling a bit unwell''.

    She never can pinpoint where she has gone wrong, she just shrugs her shoulders and gives the ill line.

    Ah well - more fool her!
     
  7. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    We've got one like that, was 'losing weight' for her wedding but would either weigh and run or when she did stay she'd have maintained or had a gain. she even said once she didn't understand why when all she'd had was a few pork pies and only one doughnut! It was like she didn't have the determination or the motivation to help herself and even now after her wedding there's still nothing there. I have no idea what her o/h looks like but I'd have wanted to look my best for my wedding!
     
  8. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

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    As you say she is decieving herself if she is not losing weight.

    Plus it's money thrown away every week, if she is genuinely ill then that is such a shame for her, but to decieve herself is her own fault.

    Maybe she needs to get some motivation from somewhere, but that is what the classes are all about, so.....
     
  9. judimac

    judimac Mad old Bat with Attitude

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    Every week we have members that "can't understand" why they haven't lost or put weight on. When they are asked it's, well I had elmlea instead of cream, ( no syns there then) or they have "just had the odd" this or that! They haven't counted syns, if they are given a food diary to do they "forget" to bring it in! And then they say that SW doesn't work!
    The 2 weeks on my signature where I had the gain and STS, I CHEATED!!!!!!!
     
  10. kazpeza

    kazpeza Silver Member

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    i agree with you too,there is a woman at ours never loses and thinks its funny,to me id think what a waste of money but thats me,anyway the leader said im gonna give you fast forward cause this is just a waste of ya money,she didnt agree with that this week her excuse is her mom is ill and she is at her house a lot(This woman is about 40's) so she wont be following it for at least 4 weeks,I understand her mom is ill and thats her main focus but there is extra easy and i think you can slot that in between life,im afraid as much as i love my family i wouldnt be willing to put back on the weight for them id work round it as best as i could
     
  11. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Can I just say that when I was getting married and going to class, I used to break my heart whenever I had a gain! I knew that I had stuck to plan 100% and would suddenly gain weight for no reason, I was devastated!!
    I wouldnt worry about this other woman, at the end of the day as the others have said, she's only kidding herself. As long as you loose the weight that you want to loose, I wouldn't worry!
     
  12. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    I would feel sorry for her, one day she'll wake up and realise how much money she's spent and how much time she's wasted just messing around.
     
  13. mfinnis

    mfinnis Full Member

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    I think its a tough one to judge - she is obviously not being honest by saying she's been ill each week rather than admitting to not being on plan but she has at least accepted that she has an issue with her weight and by coming to class she is taking small steps towards change.....I have been really struggling to get back into it and have been paying to go to class for months and am still only at 1/2 stone off - BUT - I know I cheat - I am terribly addicted to bread and chocolate and binge eat once I get started on them - but by going to class I am not gaining any more weight than I started with - I would dearly love to be stones lighter than I am but I am constant battle with myself to not eat what I know I shouldn't - so don't judge - we don't all have the motivation and willpower to succeed at the same rate as others but we are there and we are trying.....
     
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  14. GymClassHero

    GymClassHero Silver Member

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    Hi mfinnis,

    I respect what you are saying in your post but when it comes to image therapy are you honest and say that you HAVE cheated or do you make an excuse, i.e. illness, birthdays, works buffets etc?
     
  15. Marie_D

    Marie_D Gold Member

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    I think different people use meetings for different reasons. It's great that you can go to your meetings and be 100% good all week - good for you!!....but, some people struggle more than others. So ok, this lady is clearly using 'being ill' as an excuse not to stick to the plan, but if that is an excuse then I actually feel a bit sorry for her - she's clearly struggling. And ok, so she sts or gains a pound every week...but...if she wasn't going to meetings then she'd probably binge even more than she already is, so instead of sts or gaining 1lb, she might have been gaining more like 2-3lb a week instead. So although she's not losing weight, going to the meetings may have stopped her gaining as much as she could have.

    You are right though, using being ill as an excuse isn't helping her, but maybe it's just embarrassment - maybe she can't face being honest and admitting, in front of a room full of people doing as well as you are, that she is just really really struggling. Which is a shame, because maybe if she could admit it, it'd be the first step to dealing with it.

    I for one struggling HUGELY with dieting, and I would probably make an excuse at my meetings too, rather than just admit I'm addicted to junk food and wine, haha. That said, I would at least try and use a different excuse occasionally and not the same 'Ive been ill' every week :p lol
     
  16. mfinnis

    mfinnis Full Member

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    I guess it depends how down I am about not staying on plan all week - if I've only slipped a bit I would be honest and say I've been naughty - but if I know its my own fault it would end up as an excuse - I suppose we just don't want the shame of people looking at you as a failure for coming each week and not losing when its your own fault...its easier to try to hide behind something else and try to get yourself back on track - its not easy being honest with yourself about bad eating habits let alone admitting it to others...sob....
     
  17. GymClassHero

    GymClassHero Silver Member

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    Thing is though image therapy really helps and if you can talk about your issues, which lets be fair, 99% of that group will be or will have experienced at some point, then a problem shared is a problem halved?

    I would be one of the first people to offer help, ideas and suggestions to anyone who is struggling because believe me i have been through the pits and back with yo yo dieting in the past.

    IMO the issues lie deep within if people not only deceive others but themselves when it comes to dieting.

    SW is supposed to assist with removing the guilt associated with food and eating but surley lying to yourself is worse than anything. If you are struggling, speak up, some one will be there to offer help advice and support :cool:
     
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  19. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    I don't think I'd ever judge someone for that kind of self-deception, if that's what it is. When you're an addict, whether it's food, alcohol, gambling... it makes you a very cunning liar, particularly to yourself. That's the addiction's way of protecting itself, I suppose. So many people end up dieting on and off for years, and so few manage to actually keep the weight off long term, I think everyone's who's ever tried to lose weight knows the kind of desperation you feel when you just can't control your eating. Maybe this lady feels that just going along to SW is helping her gain some control/accountability over her eating, even if she just maintains her weight, which is quite an achievement in itself for a food addict! Alternatively, she might be lonely - maybe she enjoys the social aspect. When she says she's ill, it could be depression, anxiety, some form of mental illness. It's tough to know exactly what's going on with someone, and there's such a complicated web of factors that surround over-eating.

    I know it can be frustrating watching someone who doesn't live up to your own standards, but everyone's got different goals and tolerance levels. Maybe she just hasn't reached that magic point yet where she's absolutely motivated to get the weight off, maybe she's going through a really rough time in her personal life... no way of knowing unless you get talking to her and see what makes her tick. Just try not to judge too harshly. Congrats on your own fab weight loss, too!
     
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  20. Scarlet Daisy

    Scarlet Daisy Hungry For Life

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    Oh there are a few people I want to slap in my group. Not the sad cases but the fully grown women who think it is big and clever to smirk and boast about how "bad" they are.

    We do have one very kind and helpful lady, who hasn't reached her target in SIX YEARS but hovers at about half a stone from where she began. I don't mind her, because she is honest and knows loads! I think she just treats SW like a social club.

    Listening to the others is a waste of my time though.
     
  21. JoJosing

    JoJosing Full Member

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    I hear what you are saying Scarlet Daisy but I suppose you need to listen to everyone to catch the good advise aswell as the rubbish. I suppose diamonds are hidden in a pile of rocks too.
     
  22. Scarlet Daisy

    Scarlet Daisy Hungry For Life

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    I know and I do listen... But I get annoyed that they stay to group just to undermine everything. Still, I guess their money helps to keep the group open, eh? ;)
     
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