Fat Assassinations Diary & Daily Ramblings

Discussion in 'Weight Loss Diaries' started by FatAssasination, 15 April 2014 Social URL.

  1. So here it is ..... My daily diary and Ramblings, actually the Ramblings are likely to be a little more frequent than just daily, shall we say hourly?!

    So a little about me, I've been here before, yep that's right, I will say maybe not quite in the shape I was previously when I embarked upon my first weight loss mission and Minimins. However I am back, and I do have maybe just as much to lose looking at the DR's recommendations etc but I will always judge my goal by 1: how I feel health wise 2: how I feel emotion wise - am I happy? 3: so I don't look ridonculous!

    Right well, let me take you back 2 1/2 years, I weighed in at 16.13 after having my daughter 9 months prior and gaining a bit, and well the other 6 stone I was still carrying round from when I had my son 6 years previous! Yeh you got it, I had used every excuse in the book as to why I couldn't lose weight, and ok granted, I do have thyroid issues and PCOS however I spent years whinging bout these an claiming every diet failed me, when truth was, I failed myself. I was the biggest & ONLY excuse stopping me from losing weight. I remember having one of my excuse escapades with a bunch of friends one Saturday afternoon and a friends husband, well let's say he fuelled the fire.
    He bet me £50 if I was to stick to his food plan that I would lose weight, me flippantly laugh and shook truly believing that diets failed me and even his food plan wouldn't make me lose weight- I thought easiest £50 I made.
    Well 6 weeks later his wife and me - we had lost weight.
    It went from there really..... Half a stone, a few more weeks and a little more came off, weeks, still losing, few months past and I was entering numbers on the scales I never seen before and if I had it was a good 7/8 years before hand.
    I had weeks of not losing, I had days off, I switched and changed the diet approach continuously which I always believed help me to avoid the plateaus, I don't remember always aggressively exercising either.
    Finally September 2012 I settled at 12.1 and bump----- PLATEAU

    I won't lie - I wasn't too sad, for a few weeks it bothered me but I felt amazing, a size 12 and the comments rolling in, feeling fitter more energetic happy confidence - all of those really cheesey cliche things you feel when you lose weight!
    I really was a new me!

    So from September 2012 to now, I relaxed, maaaaaybe a little too much, I begun to gain but I wasn't massively bothered, but then 12.1 became 12.3 and a half hearted attempted at losing saw me get frustrated, that blimey, that pesky 2lb just wouldn't budge! Umph fed up but still very happy with how I looked, then happiness seemed to take over just a tiny weeeeeney little bit to much and 12.3 became 12.8 and then 12.11 and ....I don't even know what happened between 12.11 and 13.13 but I just remember feeling horrified and damn right disappointed with myself!
    How could I have done the one thing I said I never would do. I gained - what an idiot!

    New Year "i must change" - well I've spent months moaning to OH to which he says "do something about it" then I convince myself the reason I can't find the motivation is because I'm obviously happy - (wow how good am I at these excuses? Huh?) anyway I knew I wasn't happy, confidence self esteem happiness they all begun to flag massively and rapidly decline!
    Wearing the same rather forgiving jeans every weekend because I've got back to refusing to buy clothes! It's crazy - I still 3 stone lighter than I was at my heaviest and yet I feel just as big and disgusted with my unsightly body.

    Something had to be done right?! I have holidays booked and even they haven't motivated me, I've got the big 30 coming up and nah not even that sparks a fight, that's how I know I was not happy to be in this situation again.

    So I took a conscious decision last night to make today Day 1 of the Fat Assassination.
    My problem is always inconsistency and organisation at home. So this really is going to be a real learning curve as well as a weight loss journey.
    I'm not following a specific diet as I want to start with what I know best, and see where I get, whilst I know high protein and no carbs work best, I do exercise so I want to keep some flexibility in the diet an keep carbs in.

    My main points are
    Portion Control
    Higher Protein intake
    Measured Carb intake
    Lower/Limit Sugar Intake
    I guess overall controlling those calories
    Exercise at least 5 days a week, Cardio/Strength

    I walk to and from work 10/15 mins each way, and if I get my backside up early enough and park my car in the free space there's also a 10min walk to and from the station. So I should be able to make smaller changes which will have a good impact.

    Anyway- I look forward to poking around and seeing how you guys are doing and getting to know you, hoping that like previously I get an abundance of support and you guys inspire me which I'm pretty positive you will.

    Hopefully your still awake after this chapter and verse!

    P.s final thought- Friend at work comes back from being off and first thing this morning lands a couple of chocolate bunnies on my desk for the kids - AND a bag of Revels for me! DOH!! I've hidden them and just focusing on rambling on here to distract my usual mid afternoon munchies!!

    Green apple - mmmm where have you been all my life!
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  3. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Welcome back and well done on resisting the chocolate :17729:

    Good list...it is similar to what I am trying to do myself.
  4. Thanks Mini!

    How are you getting on?

    Keep in touch maybe we can keep each other on the straight & narrow :)
  5. KMD

    KMD Silver Member

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    Good luck on your journey. You can do this! Choc is still ok in small doses :DJust read my diary, it is full of the stuff haha xxx
  6. Hey KMD - thanks for dropping in!

    I really hope I can do this, in pretty sure I remember the first few days always being the toughest!

    Really want to abstain from choc just for first few days as more of a discipline to myself that I can control my self. Although god it's tough an I'm flagging! Haha

    Will stay strong. Today is my last day at work for a week,,I've 15mins to try an occupy my thoughts ahead of a conference call at 4 and then I'll be on the home stretch!

    I'm certainly determined. I owe it to myself to prove this isn't a plateau nor is it just my body giving up on me..... I can and will lose the weight!

    Thanks guys! xx
  7. KMD

    KMD Silver Member

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    You can do this! :D It is definetely tough but stick at it and even if you fall off the wagon just jump back on it again! My biggest downfall (before I joined this site) was going off plan for one day then thinking sod it and just giving up completely! But everyone on here is fab and won't let you go too off plan. Good luck! xxxx
  8. Right well total
    Waste of space I am.... Lol
    This is what I mean by inconsistent, fantastic all day come home stressed out an eat for no reason and all the wrong things, and I wasn't even really hungry.

    Feel really embarrassed to record this but I need to write it to be honest with myself in hope to change things. First day - failed! I will get this right

    Breakfast - Banana
    Lunch- 45g brown pasta, low fat mayo, 2 rashers bacon fat cut off. Lettuce.
    Carrot batons
    Green apple
    1 Pepsi Max
    21/4 litres of water
    1 red bull zero
    Exercise - 20 sprint/jog Interval training
    Strength exercises

    Then come home and scoff almost the whole bag of poxy revels!!! AND a Chinese takeaway! Blergh what a fatty!!

    So p***ed off with myself right now!

    Laying in bed - beating myself up but determined to do better tomorrow- sadly I'm at home which can normally make things tougher. We shall see.... Fact is I need to lose weight so best I pull my finger out my butt.

    Failure on day 1 = Uncool!
  9. KMD

    KMD Silver Member

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    I know exactly how you feel petal, try not to be too hard on yourself. I'm not having a good week either. It happens to us all. We eat so well and then somehow manage to blow it in the space of 5 mins and then feel guilty :( but hang in there and just dust yourself off and start again. Dieting isn't easy, otherwise everyone would be skinny! You can do this! xxxx
  10. Thanks Hun! Really appreciate your kind words.
    I've got up this morning even more determined so watch this space lol

    I actually weighed myself this morning and I'm 13.8 so felt better for seeing that bit gutted as without the Chinese I could've been less. Haha never mind still positive and working in the right direction!

    How you Been doing babe?
  11. KMD

    KMD Silver Member

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    You're more than welcome hun. Don't you worry, there will be days when you will have to be giving me a shove in the right direction too haha. Aw. well done, that's the spirit.

    And yay! That's good. I know but you can't think like that, and it should spur you on even more because you can still have chinese and choc and nice stuff (in moderation) and still lose the weight! I don't think I would last 5 mins if I had to deprive myself of anything. I have everything in moderation.

    I'm doing ok. Had a naughty weekend though and it's kind of affected my start to this week, I've still been on plan but feeling fat and horrible in myself so fingers crossed I snap out of it soon! Up to now I've lost 11lbs so heading in the right direction at least but it's taking a long time! Just want it off now though! How about you? xxx
  12. No your completely right can't deprive myself just frustrating to have abstained from chocolate all day to then scoff the lot when got home haha

    Like you say though Hun it does have to be in moderation but it's lifestyle ain't it, I figure if I can lose little but often once I'm at goal I just need to be good 90% of the week - leaving me to chose which part of the week I let my hair down.

    We can do it tho. 11lbs is awesome babes - what your goal?

    I'm 13.8 but just know I have been 12.1 and happy ish but I think I'd like to be less than that. I always delusion myself id never be that slim but I'm Gona give it a good crack!

    I've just got back from a 20min run, this time outside which is so much harder than on the treadmill so not as long but felt much harder. It's all off road where I live an most of it was around so old farm land. Hurting but feeling good for just getting up an doing it!

    Let's me know how your day goes! xxx
  13. Soooooo got up lateish this morning- later than normal as I wasn't at work although I did have a conference call to dial into.

    I obviously missed the morning run which I stated I would do last night but fear not!

    I started the day with a Herbal Life shake 200kcal there abouts - I make mine with Skimmed Milk! I'm not following Herbalife however I tend to keep a stash of these shakes as I do like them and I'm very naughty at not having breakfast as you will learn and these help me to get something in my system for breakie - which stops me being so ravenous later down the line!

    Few errands to run, then came back home as got building work going on. Got lunch for the buildings whilst out, baguettes and sandwich fillings etc BUT I was good - grabbed myself a bag of apples, some chorizo (my guilty pleasure) and a 2l bottle of water. Job done.

    So lunch was half a can of Veg soup, 80kcal. Chorizo slices 122kcal and a green apple 80kcal. Result!

    Then I have been very stressy this morning and shouting an moaning allot so decided - Enough already!! Run run run
    Got change in a flash of light and headed straight out the door for a run. Only 20mins but I usually do running on a tread and so off road was much harder. Most important I've been for a run and will go for a family walk of 30mins later too.
    In good shape - reversing my bad ways last night!

    Feeling positive!
  14. KMD

    KMD Silver Member

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    I know! That's the most annoying part. That we manage to sabotage our efforts in the space of 5 mins! So annoying!

    It definetely does. That's exactly my thinking. I just want to get down to my goal weight and then work out from there what works best for maintaining it.

    We definetely can do it!!! Thank you! Erm, got about another 2 stone to lose (ideally) so quite a way to go. I will be absolutely chuffed when I get to a stone! And I'm also 5lbs away until I get into the 10's so that will be fab!!! And you can be slim! We can do this and get to where we want to be! :D

    Well done on the exercise. You sound like me! We live in the middle of nowhere so going for a run is like doing mountainous cross country haha (not quite that bad lol)

    Keep up the fab work!!!! xxxx
  15. Just had dinner

    Grilled chicken breast salad an grilled peppers

    I'm say here now - wanting food! Treats !

    This is my worst time of day and is an absolute nightmare

    I'm determined not to break tonight!
  16. So another day at home with building stuff going on.

    Been relatively good

    Herbalife shake for breakie 200kcal
    Apple 80kcal
    Liberte yoghurt 82kcal
    2x light baby bels 42kcal each =84kcal
    I've had a slice of Parma Ham 30kcal
    Chorizo -105kcal
    Pork meat - 80kcal

    2litres of water made up with small amount of no added sugar juice

    No exercise as yet and also out for a curry tonight however keeping with the theme of low carbs

    Dry chicken Tikka Starter with a Veg curry - the veg curry me an my OH share between us an daughter. Lots of salad with lemon. No Rice or Naan bread!

    Will total up calories later and re-post.
    I tend to have this all the time as it means I can enjoy and strip out the most of the carbs. Which actually despite curry being cooked with lots of oils etc actually was a staple meal for me during the 5stone weight loss journey I did previously.

    Here's hoping !

    Scales are currently not working - dead batteries. So I can't weigh until I get some - not sure if that's a good or bad thing!
  17. Oh and my Polar FT7 HRM arrived today!

    Wearing the watch now so I can get used to it but will wear the strap all day tomorrow just a little check on what I burn
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  19. Aha! So today I've spent helping OH doing the electrics on our house as we have completely gutted ad renovated it, still a mess downstairs but upstairs is all ready for the plasterers - we just needed to complete the electrics.
    So that's done!

    I've had a Herbalife shake for breakie - standard practice for me now! Lol

    Then I promised I would treat the tiddlywinks to cinema - so we had a drive out to our favourite cinema, took the kids to little pound shop so they could get their treats popcorn etc, me and OH resisted (btw his skinny but wants to lose a bit of his belly! So he pretends to be healthy lol)
    Went and got myself some drinks - water and a Pepsi max(I'm obsessed with then ATM)

    Currently sat in cinema typing this feeling rather pleased I haven't even battered an eyelid at their treats! Say furthest away from them too - stuck OH in the middle of us all so I can't be tempted!

    Going to grab a bit of dinner afterwards but it will prob be a harvester so for me a spit roast chicken and salad, no sauces no chips no croutons or pasta etc, just salad and bit if coleslaw ;-)

    Oh and I've decided on my first easy goal

    1st: To reach 13 stone
    2nd: 9 Weeks till a big day out at Ascot 21st June - so I would like to reach 11.7

    I've had a sudden change of heart over night and decided to shift to a vlcd- mostly shakes with 1 protein/salad meal a day, it worked last time and I wana attempt it again.
    Then introduce calorie counting back in which Is my fav really lol

    Anyway here goes !

    Then my
  20. Soooooo today I did well,

    Shake for breakie, then just meat and salad.

    OH has tried his best bless him but as soon as we got back an kids went a bed he crammed in as much as he could. Which included Easter egg chocolates, crisp, toast an butter haha
    I laugh because his a skinny little sod with a little bit of a belly which he gained young through drinking an bad eating and he always struggles to shift, I laugh more because he doesn't need to lose weight but tries to be supportive bless him an then caves an goes on a binge.

    Anyway, I sat right next to him on sofa throughout the whole of his binge ---- didn't bat an eyelid .... Was quite surprised as actually didn't interest me nor did I feel deprived or jealous. In fact I didn't even get the watering mouth either, I didn't even feel hungry. I think that means I'm in a good place!

    Day 5 tomorrow- bring it on!

    I'm iut for the afternoon in the pub but planned on having my shake before heading there at 2, then when I get back home I'll be going out with family for a low key drink in local, so will have a shake for dinner before we go there PLUS I'm going to sneak in some carrot batons in my bag- I envisage everyone else will be snacking on crisps and peanuts during bingo so I want to be prepared!

    I'm not messing this up!

    Oh and my scales broke, my digital ones so I had to purchase new ones but this time went for mechanical. Nothing major will just record start weight on these bit obviously take my 13.10 start weight as the comparison for Mondays weigh in

    Signing out - bed time!
  21. Had a great day diet wise- haven't even felt hungry and stuck to plan

    Feeling very sad emotional and a bit lost this evening.... Glad I'm in bed although not interested in food I may have caved with feeling so sad

    Hate feeling like this
  22. Breakfast - shake and half a sausage - awful!

    3 satsumas - ooppss but they were so good

    I cheated I had a tiny piece of chocolate but it ain't Gona affect me it was that small

    Dinner is a roast lamb with tonnes of veg and NO potatoes!

    Looking forward to reporting my weight loss for the week tomorrow - although I think I may change my weigh in day to Tuesday rather than Monday?!? Hmmm I'll think about it

    If I'm hungry later after dinner I'll have another shake or an apple, not even really feeling hungry lol - result !

    Having a lazy day today - lovely
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