So here it is ..... My daily diary and Ramblings, actually the Ramblings are likely to be a little more frequent than just daily, shall we say hourly?! So a little about me, I've been here before, yep that's right, I will say maybe not quite in the shape I was previously when I embarked upon my first weight loss mission and Minimins. However I am back, and I do have maybe just as much to lose looking at the DR's recommendations etc but I will always judge my goal by 1: how I feel health wise 2: how I feel emotion wise - am I happy? 3: so I don't look ridonculous! Right well, let me take you back 2 1/2 years, I weighed in at 16.13 after having my daughter 9 months prior and gaining a bit, and well the other 6 stone I was still carrying round from when I had my son 6 years previous! Yeh you got it, I had used every excuse in the book as to why I couldn't lose weight, and ok granted, I do have thyroid issues and PCOS however I spent years whinging bout these an claiming every diet failed me, when truth was, I failed myself. I was the biggest & ONLY excuse stopping me from losing weight. I remember having one of my excuse escapades with a bunch of friends one Saturday afternoon and a friends husband, well let's say he fuelled the fire. He bet me £50 if I was to stick to his food plan that I would lose weight, me flippantly laugh and shook truly believing that diets failed me and even his food plan wouldn't make me lose weight- I thought easiest £50 I made. Well 6 weeks later his wife and me - we had lost weight. It went from there really..... Half a stone, a few more weeks and a little more came off, weeks, still losing, few months past and I was entering numbers on the scales I never seen before and if I had it was a good 7/8 years before hand. I had weeks of not losing, I had days off, I switched and changed the diet approach continuously which I always believed help me to avoid the plateaus, I don't remember always aggressively exercising either. Finally September 2012 I settled at 12.1 and bump----- PLATEAU I won't lie - I wasn't too sad, for a few weeks it bothered me but I felt amazing, a size 12 and the comments rolling in, feeling fitter more energetic happy confidence - all of those really cheesey cliche things you feel when you lose weight! I really was a new me! So from September 2012 to now, I relaxed, maaaaaybe a little too much, I begun to gain but I wasn't massively bothered, but then 12.1 became 12.3 and a half hearted attempted at losing saw me get frustrated, that blimey, that pesky 2lb just wouldn't budge! Umph fed up but still very happy with how I looked, then happiness seemed to take over just a tiny weeeeeney little bit to much and 12.3 became 12.8 and then 12.11 and ....I don't even know what happened between 12.11 and 13.13 but I just remember feeling horrified and damn right disappointed with myself! How could I have done the one thing I said I never would do. I gained - what an idiot! New Year "i must change" - well I've spent months moaning to OH to which he says "do something about it" then I convince myself the reason I can't find the motivation is because I'm obviously happy - (wow how good am I at these excuses? Huh?) anyway I knew I wasn't happy, confidence self esteem happiness they all begun to flag massively and rapidly decline! Wearing the same rather forgiving jeans every weekend because I've got back to refusing to buy clothes! It's crazy - I still 3 stone lighter than I was at my heaviest and yet I feel just as big and disgusted with my unsightly body. Something had to be done right?! I have holidays booked and even they haven't motivated me, I've got the big 30 coming up and nah not even that sparks a fight, that's how I know I was not happy to be in this situation again. So I took a conscious decision last night to make today Day 1 of the Fat Assassination. My problem is always inconsistency and organisation at home. So this really is going to be a real learning curve as well as a weight loss journey. I'm not following a specific diet as I want to start with what I know best, and see where I get, whilst I know high protein and no carbs work best, I do exercise so I want to keep some flexibility in the diet an keep carbs in. My main points are Portion Control Higher Protein intake Measured Carb intake Lower/Limit Sugar Intake I guess overall controlling those calories Exercise at least 5 days a week, Cardio/Strength I walk to and from work 10/15 mins each way, and if I get my backside up early enough and park my car in the free space there's also a 10min walk to and from the station. So I should be able to make smaller changes which will have a good impact. Anyway- I look forward to poking around and seeing how you guys are doing and getting to know you, hoping that like previously I get an abundance of support and you guys inspire me which I'm pretty positive you will. Hopefully your still awake after this chapter and verse! P.s final thought- Friend at work comes back from being off and first thing this morning lands a couple of chocolate bunnies on my desk for the kids - AND a bag of Revels for me! DOH!! I've hidden them and just focusing on rambling on here to distract my usual mid afternoon munchies!! Green apple - mmmm where have you been all my life!