Feeling a bit low :(

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by sugar_lipswales, 22 June 2011 Social URL.

  1. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    I don't really don't have anyone to talk to so I've come on here to get this off my chest - I don't enjoy my life at all!
    I'm constantly in a state of depression and anxiety over food, exercise, my weight, money, the state of my relationship (the fact that I take everything out on my boyf) and everything else I can ever think to worry about!
    I have an appointment with my doctor on but today's a bad day :(
    I don't want to exercise, I haven't been to the gym in days and can't remember the last time I actually enjoyed it. I don't want to be on plan, I've got a fridge full of SW friendly food but decided on an ASDA make your own pizza last night instead. My head is so not in the right place and I hate it right now and I don't know how to dig myself out of this!
    Sorry for the long post but feel like screaming atm!
     
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  3. ermintrude

    ermintrude Gold Member

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    Oh God hun, I dont know what to say, I dont know you but I know exactly where you're coming from, I don't have any solutions except to hang on in there even if its black as hell, tomorrow it will be a bit brighter... Just hold on for a little while longer, it'll pass.

    When is the doctor's appointment? Does your partner know you're feeling like this or can you not talk to him about it? Forget about the food for a while, it's really not the most important thing in the world and anyhow looking at your stats you've done better than anyone could imagine! I would love to have achieved that, look how far you've come! Forget the food, scream all your worries off your chest, yell at anyone and everything if that's what you need to do!

    And also see if you can find something to distract yourself from them for a little while - what are you up to, what do you like doing? To be honest one of the things that distracts me most when Im feeling like absolute $h!t is concocting some really elaborate recipe, and sod it if its synful! Sorry I dont know you and Im not a great person at offering advice either but if you just need to let it off your chest go ahead.

    The last time I lost a lot of weight (6 stone) I was exactly like you sound and I had a breakdown, but it turned out that one of the reasons was my calcium was really, really low because I wasn't taking in enough fat to let it absorb properly because of the diet. There are lost of reasons why you can feel like this that can be fixed. Mention it to your doctor when you see them and get your bloods checked just in case it's something little and fixable that's exacerbating things.

    Hope you're feeling better soon x
     
  4. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    My partner knows I feel like this and tries his best but he has no idea to the depth it goes, I'm so anxious that it paralyses me and I can't make decisions and when I do I feel guilty. It sounds insane when I read it back but I can't get out of it.
    I'm trying to think of something to take my mind of it but I've dedicated so much of my time and effort into losing weight and working out that I don't really have anything else in my life which again sounds insane!
    I've been depressed before but this feels different. Thankyou for your reply, it's good to know others have felt the same as me, been feeling so alone x
     
  5. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    I've never been in your situation but I can only reiterate what ermintrude has said, look at your weight loss you've done amazingly well.

    Have you tried writing down what you hope to acheive, weight, money, gym etc & sort yourself out a planner?

    We all worry about these things & we just can't help it, it really doesn't matter what anyone says it still becomes a problem.

    Have you tried putting on some loud music, I don't mean putting on Kylie but turning it up, I mean something like Nirvana & turn it up loud, that helps me.
     
  6. ermintrude

    ermintrude Gold Member

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    I don't think anyone knows how deep it goes until they've been there, there just aren't words to describe it.

    What I would say right now, is go outside for a little wander to clear your head, even if it's only to the end of the street. I expect your first thought to that will be that you dont want to go outside, you dont want to get in the shower or get dressed or anything because its not worth it, you cant be bothered, theres no point. Please have a go though, the world looks just that bit easier once you get out there and you think, actually, it wasn't as hard as you thought it was going to be. You might even feel you've achieved something by getting it done. Just wander around, stare at the sky, do whatever happens to come along but try and do a little bit less thinking for a while xxx
     
  7. sillykitten

    sillykitten Full Member

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    Hi chicken, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, depression runs rampant in my family so I can relate, i've been in some very dark places mentally since I hit my teens but I was at my lowest over the last few years.
    I don't know the nitty gritty of your situation but it sounds to me it's a combination of anxiety and depression at the moment. I'm just getting that from all the things you listed that are wrong. Like your head just won't stop telling you all the things that are bad and the feeling of uselessness and not knowing how to fix any of it. Ive been there and it's been a long road but I'm out the other side.

    So the first thing I would say is things will get better. Get yourself down to your gp and tell them exactly how you're feeling. Start counselling if you can, it's great to have some one out of the box who you can trust. Also something that really helped me, I'm not big on religion or any one who pushes their beliefs on other people but this is more spiritual well being... I started reading up on letting go of ego. It's a Buddhist concept but for me it was just a better way of thinking than a faith. Might be worth a google :)
    chin up lovely lady! If you need some one to vent to feel free to pm me. hugs for you :)
     
  8. krupskaya

    krupskaya Gold Member

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    (((Big Hugs))) Sugar lipswales. I suffer with depression and anxiety too so know how awful it is. I also understand what you mean when you say that diet and exercise have taken over your life. I think to succeed in the long run you do need to become a bit obsessed. You've done so so well you should be justifiably proud of yourself. It might be worth easing off the pressure for now though. But only if that thought doesn't terrify you too much!

    You say you've got an appointment with the doc. When for? I know tablets aren't the answer to everything but a good anti-depressant might help to give you a foothold out of the deep pit your in (and antidepressants are miles ahead of what they were a few years back). I would also ask if you can see a counsellor. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is a really good problem focussed technique which gives you the tools to counter the negative thoughts that lead to and worsen depression. I had fifteen sessions on the NHS and it was sooo helpful. There might be a bit of a waiting list so it may be worth checking out the free counselling available in your area. Ring 'Mind' (the mental health charity) and ask if they know of any (sorry don't know the number in your area but you'll find it online). Just being able to talk over your problems can be so helpful. The Samaritans do phone counselling and you don't have to be suicidal to talk to them. In my area they also do free face to face counselling.

    I hope I haven't bombarded you with too much info here but it's awful to hear you suffering.

    Good luck honey and keep posting - a problem shared is a problem halved. Take care. xxx
     
  9. krupskaya

    krupskaya Gold Member

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    *Bump* for Sugar Lipswales
     
  10. chloecat

    chloecat Full Member

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    Hey there Sugar, I'm so sorry you feel like this. I know exactly how you feel, I was diagnosed with depression in january and have been taking antidepressants ever since. It is such an awful feeling, it is impossible to understand unless you've been there yourself.

    I think going to the doctor is a good first step. We all have periods of feeling fed up, but if your mood is starting to impact on your life then it can be good to get a little help. Pills don't solve your problems, but just having a little relief from some of the symptoms can be wonderful.

    I also recommend counselling if you think you would like to try it. I decided to give counselling a go as I felt that stuff from my past kept rearing it's ugly head and impacting upon my life at the moment. My head just felt like such a big mess, to the point where I knew I wasn't able to work through it all myself. I've found counselling so far to be extremely helpful. My counsellor has delved into my past and used it to explain why I have done things and feel the way I do now. It is so great to have that burden of guilt lifted, to not feel like I am stupid or wrong to feel depressed, but to see that it is the consequence of various things that have happened.

    Finally, I strongly recommend making a concerted effort to focus on yourself and do things to help you when you feel low. This can be difficult when you have family, partner etc.... as you often feel you are selfish in devoting time to yourself, but it is important in trying to recover. So whatever it is - reading, hot baths, naps, watching movies, doing your nails - find things you like doing that make you feel better when you are down and make the time to do them.

    Depression is really tough but you can get over it, I'm glad you are going to the doctor, it's not always easy to talk about these things but it is better to face them

    Good luck x
     
  11. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    Thank you all so much, my appointment is tomorrow afternoon and I'm going to write down a list of symptoms before I go or I'll miss out something important and get annoyed when I get home. I'm not a person who'll sit around and wait for things to get worse, it's affecting my relationships with my partner and everyone around me. My partner knows I'm not behaving like myself, I don't want sex, I don't want to exercise and I don't want to be on plan, NOT ME AT ALL!!!
    Sillykitten - I'm a little spritual and I find things like that helpful, not buddism so to speak but little sayings and teachings that clear my mind and in my anxiety and deep hole I've kind of forgotten about it. Thank you x
    Krupskya and Chloecat (and anyone else who mentioned counselling) - I've had 6 sessions on the NHS and found they made me more anxious to begin with but by the end I was more comfortable. The anxiety I'm getting is paralysing me so I can't even remember the techniques he taught me! I don't know if more sessions would help me but I'll just see what the doctor says tomorrow.
    I remembered last night that I didn't mention I have an appointment with plastics on the 11th July about the loose skin I now have and that is causing no end of hassle for me because I'm 5lbs off the target they want me to be and as I've said I'm so far off plan it'd be funny if I could crack a smile lately. I'm tempted to cancel it but it's taken a year and 3 referrals from my doctor to get this appointment. God, this would be too much for anyone!
     
  12. sillykitten

    sillykitten Full Member

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    I found that after a while with counseling I was just looking for things to go in with, my boyfriend said i was a nightmare the bay before and after. Its not for every one. Maybe another counselor or like krupskaya mentioned CBT might be for you. I wanted to get CBT but the waiting list here (im in ireland) was far too long for it to be of any use.

    Dont cancel your appointment, 5lbs off target can't throw the whole thing off surely.

    Another thing I forgot to mention, there's a book called Self Help for your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes and it is well worth a buy, it really helped me and I then gave it to a friend who was going through some pretty tough times too and he found it really helpful also.

    Hugs for you :)
     
  13. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    OMG! My boyf said the same thing! I didn't want to even see him on the days I had my sessions! I thought it was just me.
     
  14. chloecat

    chloecat Full Member

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    Writing down a list of symptoms is a great idea. When I went to the doctor, I found it very hard and got quite tearful. Being able to just hand him the list to read whilst I calmed down was very helpful.
     
  15. ermintrude

    ermintrude Gold Member

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    I never found any use in counselling or CBT, it works for some people but not for me. I don't think they could see the bigger picture of my problems, they just wanted to focus on one tiny thing and said that we should try to overcome that one first. I kind of see where they're coming from but what is the point? It's like trying to put out a burning house by pouring a glass of water over it - ain't gonna happen!
    We just didn't even speak the same language... :sigh: they take everything literally and simply, as fact, as one tiny problem that we can fix in a week - and I can't even comprehend what I am experiencing to communicate it to them at all. I tried to make lists of all the things that worried me or all the problems I faced, but they just told me to shut me up and pushed them aside. Useless. The only thing that 'worked' for me (in the loosest sense of the word) was in the end it getting so bad I ended up in hospital as a crisis case, then all responsibility whatsoever is taken away from you, it's kind of a relief.

    Sillykitten's right, dont cancel your appointment, 5lbs is nothing. If it seriously matters to them, which I doubt it will, there's got to be ways to achieve it or get round it. You've done amazingly well, there is no way they will take this away from you now! :) xxxxx
     
  16. ermintrude

    ermintrude Gold Member

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    Heh reading this thread is amazing! I wish I had people like you lot around at serious times of crisis! People who haven't been there can never understand. Why can I talk about it to you lot but not to people I know? :confused: Awwww tear coming to my eye now, *group hug* :eek: :D
     
  17. sheepy19

    sheepy19 Full Member

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    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've only just turned 20, but I'm diagnosed with Bipolar and had a breakdown a few years ago. I couldn't get out of bed for months and just laid in the dark, eventually I was sectioned. But the point is, it can be a long road to recover if youre feeling bad, it may take you weeks, months or years to feel better but there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. You've just got to hold on and make sure you put the full extent of it across to your Dr so you get the proper help you need. You'll be ok :) With a bit of time and help, it will pass and you'll be yourself again :)
     
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  19. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    I tried talking to my manthing and even though he's had OCD and mental issues he doesn't really get me, I knew I had to come on here x
     
  20. chloecat

    chloecat Full Member

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    I think a lot of people find depression hard to understand. I've got some friends who are wonderful in every way, but all have given me the whole "only you can change your life, so rather than sitting around being fed up, get up and get out there and make your life how you want!!!" :( They call it tough love, and we've had many heated debates about it. I know their words are right and they mean well, but when you are suffering from depression, all it does is make you feel even more guilty and useless. They have argued that simply saying stuff like "aww, poor hun, lots of hugs" etc....doesn't achieve anything. True, but sometimes when you are down you need some gentleness!!!
     
  21. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    Well, I somehow managed to drag my bum out of bed and made it to an express circuits class this morning. I feel a bit better as the hard work usually takes my mind off things and the manthing says I was a bit better moodwise yesterday but I'm still going to keep my doctors appointment later. Will let you all know how I get on x
     
  22. sillykitten

    sillykitten Full Member

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    good stuff chick! glad you're feeling a bit better :)
     
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